5. Amal
AMAL
“I’d marry you myself before I let that happen. Before I allow any man to lay a fucking finger on you.”
I don’t expect that. I’m unprepared for it.
The green of his eyes has turned to deepest night in an ancient forgotten forest. Darker than shadows.
I think he means what he’s saying. I think he wants to mean it.
But I also know Cassian’s the boss. Cassian decides. And Jet is loyal to him. Would he give that up for me?
Don’t be stupid, Amal.
Jet wipes tears from my cheeks and I realize I’m not fighting him, not pushing him away.
My hands are curled around his forearms and I’m clinging to him.
It’s like I need his strength to carry me.
I think about what he asked earlier. If I want to disappear.
He has no idea what it’s been like for me since Malek died.
Since he was killed. By Cassian. By Allegra. By Jet.
Not that he didn’t deserve it. It was either them or him.
None of them have told me how he died in the end. Who pulled the actual trigger. I wonder if they made a pact to keep it a secret. I learned to stop asking and now that I know what I know, well, it matters even less.
That thought sobers me. The things I’ve learned since Malek’s killing. Since I found my mother’s diary hidden away in an old box of toys in the house. I almost threw it away thinking it was nothing.
I force myself to stop looking into those eyes of his. I can lose myself in them. I want to. But there’s Daniel to consider. He needs saving more than I do. If anyone is innocent, it’s him.
I’m a woman. The men Malek crossed will take payment in skin. I’m more entertaining to them alive than dead. I know the monsters of our world. I grew up with one reading me bedtime stories.
But Daniel is different. We may both be the children of monsters, but he’s innocent and I won’t abandon him to a fate he does not deserve.
“You hungry?” Jet asks. “Not sure you ate more than that milkshake today.”
I shake my head. “I’m just tired. Really tired.” I have tonight. My reprieve. And maybe I’ll even sleep.
“Come with me,” he says, taking my hand gently in his. I’m very aware of how big it is around mine, how warm and strong.
How I want his hands on me and not for the reason I said. Not a means to an end. Not even close.
He opens the bathroom door and once again, I’m stunned. Floor to ceiling windows looking out onto the ocean on one side and on the other the jagged wall curves naturally around a free-standing copper tub. The counter is carved out of rock and fitted with copper sink and fixtures.
“That was a bitch to bring in,” he says of the tub. I guess we’re back to casual and I’m relieved. He begins to run a bath. “Bubbles?”
I notice his collection of luxurious bottles of bubble baths and body oils.
“You sure you don’t have women here?” I ask, joking but also jealous of any woman he might ever have had in here.
“I am a man who enjoys a bubble bath. So what?” he says as he tests the temperature before he pours a generous amount of the stuff out of one of the bottles and instantly, I smell his scent.
His signature smell. I remember the first day I met him how I smelled it on him.
Then it was a hint of aftershave. This? This is going to feel like a hug.
“I’ll leave you to it and I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”
“What about you? Where are you going to sleep?”
“Couch.”
“It’s a big bed.”
He chuckles, tucks that ever-unruly lock of hair behind my ear. “Oh, Little Virgin. You have no fucking idea how dangerous you are for me. I am not made of steel.”
I don’t know how to respond. I’m shocked mute.
Did Jet Blackstone just admit he wants to fuck me? I mean, I knew from that erection. Can’t fake that. But did he really just say all that?
“Holler if you need anything,” he tosses over his shoulder as he walks out the door.
“Jet?” I call out just before he closes it behind him.
He turns around, eyebrows raised.
“Thank you. For tonight.” Shit, I’m going to cry. I cry when people are nice to me because I’m a fucking idiot.
He must sense it because he just nods and walks out, closing the door behind him, and the empty space he leaves behind feels lonelier than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.
The tears come streaming as soon as the door clicks shut and I know I’m in trouble. I’m in so much trouble. I think I have been for a long time with Jet, but now, there’s no doubt.