43. Amal
AMAL
Three days later
Devil’s Peak
All that took place lasted no more than seventy-two hours.
Jet finding me in that church. Our marriage. Severin’s call about the watch and our ill-timed trip to the antique shop. The island. All of it. although it feels like a lifetime, it only lasted three days.
Now, I’m curled up on the couch of Jet’s impossible home, Cotton beside me, her head on my lap, a mug of tea in my hands. I don’t need the blanket at my side. Cotton’s body is warm enough as I stare out at the rising sun.
“She’s not allowed on the couch,” Jet says, coming into the living room. He’s dressed in his usual black from head to toe, his hair still wet from his shower.
“Just this once,” I say as Cotton looks up at Jet with an expression meant to pull at his heartstrings.
He takes her face in his hands and kisses the top of her head. “Just this once,” he says.
I smile because really, he’s a complete softie when it comes to her. And me.
Cotton lays her head back down and closes her eyes while I gently scratch behind her right ear. It’s what she likes most.
After making a cup of coffee for himself, he comes to sit beside me.
I notice he’s barefoot. I always like seeing him like that.
It makes him more human somehow. Because for the last week, I’ve been sleeping at his side and each night, I woke at exactly the same time, 3:33 in the morning, and spent a few minutes watching him.
Just watching. Like he might disappear or not be real or something.
I don’t know. If even one thing had gone differently, where would we be now?
That thought makes me shudder.
“Hey. What is it?” he asks, wrapping an arm around me, squeezing me close.
I wipe away a tear on his shirt. “Nothing. Just cold,” I lie.
He looks down at me, and I know he knows I’m lying but he doesn’t mention it. “I see you watch me, you know.”
“What are you talking about?”
“At night. Little creeper.”
My face heats up. “I don’t.”
“I’d watch me too. I’m very good looking.” He sips his coffee.
I laugh, smack his arm playfully. “Also, very modest.” He’s the only person who can do this for me. Make me laugh and get me out of my head when I’m deep in the trenches.
“You’ve been quiet. What’s on your mind, Amal?”
“I don’t know.” I look out the window at the colors in the sky.
It’s so beautiful here. So peaceful. I know that will end though.
We can’t hide out here forever. In fact, today we’re heading to Cassian’s to figure out what’s next, I guess.
Daniel will be there. He’s flying in now.
I wanted to wait a few days to see him so most of the bruises healed. I don’t want to scare him.
“Yeah, you do. Talk, wife,” he says, setting our cups down and turning me to face him.
“I don’t know what I expected to find out there, I guess.
Or at least I wasn’t ready for what I did find.
” He knows what I’m talking about. I don’t have to spell it out for him.
Finding out how I was conceived was even more terrible than I imagined.
Hell, The Society made being Malek Lombardi’s biological daughter sound almost attractive.
“I’m sorry the diary’s gone,” Jet says. My mother’s diary was lost somewhere in that chapel.
“Maybe it’s for the best. I’ve read those passages countless times and there aren’t answers in it.”
“She didn’t blame you. You know that, right?”
I try to turn away, the sting of tears so familiar these days.
“I didn’t read the whole thing, but I did read a few entries. She loved you before you were even born,” Jet says.
“She was a good mom. And I know she loved me. I’m not sure how she could but she did. I know that. It’s that it’s my blood. Half is that of a monster. Monsters.”
Jet takes my face in his hands. “You choose who you are, Amal. You make the choice. It’s up to you, always. And it’s a choice you will make over and over again. You decide who you want to be by your words and your actions every moment of every day. Period.”
“How do you do it? How do you not let it destroy you. What happened to you, I mean.” I don’t know all the details, and I don’t want to. Unless he needs to tell them to me. But I don’t think he does. I think Jet’s okay.
“I choose. Every day. Every day, sweetheart. I’m not going to lie. It’s not easy. But you can do it. You of all people, hell, you’re the strongest woman I know. I have faith in you. Do you have faith in you?” He pulls me to him and kisses my lips. “Do you choose to?”
“You’re much wiser than you look, you know.” I smile a silly smile.
“That so?” He chuckles.
I clear my throat. “Now that everyone knows I’m not Malek’s daughter, you can probably get on with your life. We can have the marriage annulled so—”
“Excuse me?”
“So, you don’t have to be tied to me. You’re free.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I—”
“Let me be clear about one thing. I love you. I married you because I love you. That’s the end of that story. For me, at least.” He stops to consider like maybe he didn’t think about this before. “You told me you love me. Is that true?”
I nod, my heart racing. I taste the salt of tears when they reach my lips.
“Good. Because if you ever mention annulling our marriage again, I will take you over my knee and spank that perfect little ass of yours bright red.”
I have to laugh. “I thought we established I’d probably like that.”
“We did. That’s why. Cotton,” he says to the dog who has curled up on the blankets beside me. He gestures to her bed in the corner and Cotton reluctantly gets up to go. “Now, let me show you exactly how much I love you and intend on keeping you, Little Wife.”