Just like the rain
Isat up on the sofa, leaning too heavily on my punching hand, and a bolt of pain raced up my arm.
We’d napped together there, which had evolved into sleeping through the remaining daylight, the night, and into the morning.
Rafael slept so hard at one point he was lightly snoring, which I’d never heard before.
Probably from the swelling in his poor, bruised face.
Unsurprisingly, he stirred the instant I did.
Hissing, I shook my hand out. “God, I still can’t believe I socked the Extruda CEO’s daughter in the face.”
“That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen, and I thought nothing could top you kicking in the door and pointing a gun at her head. Awkwardly-hard-in-public hot, which is especially difficult when you are more encumbered than most.” He pushed the coffee table away, slid off the sofa to his knees, and took my battered hand, gently kissing each knuckle.
“Would you like to have my nonexistent babies?”
The ugliest, goofiest laugh of my life erupted from my mouth. “I think we should start trying right now. Clock’s running out on that vasectomy.”
“No time like the present.” He scooped me off the sofa and carried me, giggling and shedding pajamas, to the bedroom.
Rafael laid me on the bed. I untied the belt of his robe. Bruises littered his torso and thighs like ink dropped into water. I sucked in a breath, but he simply shrugged out of the robe and climbed onto the mattress beside me.
“This will sound…unstable, but hear me out,” he began.
“A lot of what you say sounds unstable, but go on.”
“Earlier, I offered you the opportunity to take advantage of me. ‘Anything’ meant just that. But you ask so little of me.” He kissed my forehead. “That makes me want to try again. To give what you refused to take.”
He’d just been through hell. Was this really smart? But oh, how I wanted to be closer than breath. Closer than skin and bones and all the emotional baggage we both dragged behind us.
I cupped his face in my hands, emotions rapid-cycling too fast for me to identify any single one. “My beautiful man. I love you with my whole heart. Of course I want all of you, but right now you look like someone’s been using you for target practice. Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“The pain helps.” Those piercing eyes were steady.
“The pain is what convinced me to try again. I know I am hard to look at, but my injuries are not that serious.” Rafael turned his head and kissed my palm.
“I feel safer with you than I ever have with anyone else by far, and I want to give you every pleasure I can.”
I stopped his mouth with a kiss, “Don’t worry about the pleasure part of it. Figuring out what makes you feel comfortable and safe in your body is way more important.”
He sucked in a small breath, blinking rapidly, and turned his head away.
“Rafael, it’s ok to be emotional. I love you.”
Tears sparkled in his dark lashes1 but did not fall. “It surprises me how easily you reach through all my armor to grasp my heart directly.” He took my hand and laid it on the center of his chest. “It beats only for you now.”
We stayed locked in that kiss, hands gliding over each other’s bodies. I skimmed my palms feather-light over his skin, concentrating my will to heal him into my fingertips. The bruising and contusions hurt my heart, even if he feigned indifference to them.
I brushed my lips against a particularly gruesome starburst of impact trauma.
“Before we do anything, please tell me you won’t ever ask me to damage you like this.
I think that would be my cue to safeword, even if you’re the one chained up.
I know you said you’d hire a pro if I couldn’t do it, but still… ”
Rafael pressed a finger to my lips. “I was flippant about that, and I should not have been. You are all I need. I will never ask you to traumatize yourself to chase away my demons. Doms can and do safeword.” He stroked my face.
“If it makes you feel better, those fucks have beaten the urge to fight in matches out of me for a long time. I am fortunate not to be pissing blood.”
I gasped and grabbed his uninjured hand.
He winced. “When you came in, that was all bravado. I feel like hammered shit. I was a young man the last time I took a coordinated group stomping like that, but I am determined to use this pain.” A dark laugh rumbled in his chest. “Poetic justice that my evil fucking ex may have given me the edge to overcome what decades of other interventions could not.”
“Whew, ok I told myself no more crying,” I wiped at the sting in my eyes.
Rafael curled around me, wrapping me in arms and legs and heat and muscle. He nipped at my lower lip, and I sucked his tongue into my mouth. Our hearts thudded against each other, matching rhythm.
He pushed me onto my back, licking my nipples with slow, broad strokes until I whimpered.
“I have fantasized about this,” he said, sucking and nibbling.
“Slowly shoving my cock into that sweet cunt. Filling you, stretching you to your limits. Feeling you spasm around me. Finally, finally coming inside you. To see you spent in the aftermath, pussy gaping and leaking cum.”
Jesus fucking Christ. I shuddered under his mouth with strangling need.
Ruthless, he continued, “To lick it out of your raw, reddened cunt, make you suck it off my tongue, and fuck you again until you scream.”
“I need you so fucking bad.” My cunt ached, and I squirmed at the dampness seeping into the sheets beneath me. “Guide me. Tell me exactly what you want and how you want it.”
Rafael slid down my body and pushed my thighs apart, running his tongue over the laddered scars and down between my legs to kiss my clit. It pulsed so hard my ears rang. I’d never had a man full on make out with my clit the way he did.
Just as I hovered on the precipice of climax, he drew away. I whined and reached for him. He rolled onto his back and pulled me over him.
Taking my grasping hand, he kissed my palm and pushed it down to his rising cock. “Light touch. Stroke me.”
I rested my cheek on his chest and ran my fingers lightly up and down the hard, silky shaft, plotting the sacred geometry of the gentle curve toward his flat belly. His cock bucked up into my hand as his breath quickened, encouraging me. A bead formed at the tip.
“How does this feel?” I trailed my fingertips over and around the head of his cock.
“Mm, yes, grab me.” His chest heaved. “This is good. I may need more pain to stay lucid, but I will warn you.”
I licked my palms and kept my grip light, gliding over his cock. Admonishing myself not to ask for more, but to let him lead. No matter how much I desperately wanted to lick away the precum slowly sliding down his tip. His breath quickened, growing louder.
“Sit on me,” he panted. “Just sit, no movement or insertion yet.”
Favoring my sore knee, I followed his command and straddled his hips. The heat of his cock against my wet cunt, the hard length of it between my legs… So close! I fought to retain control of my impulses. Damn him for priming me so well. I gripped my breasts, thumbing my nipples.
Rafael hummed approval. “You are so hot.”
Never in my life had I believed that about myself, but when he said it in that low, sensual purr, I had no choice but to accept his words as absolute truth. I arched my back, jutting my chest out.
His hands crept under my thighs. “Keep playing with yourself while I move you.” Slowly, slowly, he slid me forward and backward over his cock. The ridge rubbed over my clit as it passed, spreading my lips wide. My vision blurred as the pressure built.
“Wait, wait,” I pleaded, delirious. “Not yet. I want to come with you inside me.”
“Perfect. There you are.” Rafael stilled, angling me so the tip of his cock pressed into my vulva. “Maintain eye contact while I fuck you. If I drift, slap me.”
Breathless, I nodded. He pressed two fingers to his lips and transferred them to mine. I took them in my mouth and sucked until he pulled them free. Seizing my hips, he held me perfectly still.
That massive cock pushed into me. Slow and hesitant at first, intense concentration creased Rafael’s brow and brightened his eyes. I spread for him. And spread. And spread until my cunt ached. I whimpered. God, how could I possibly take him all? His girth alone put my dragon dildo to shame.
“Fuck, you’re so big!” I gasped.
Just as I tensed on the edge of pain, he pulled out. Keeping his eyes on mine, Rafael reached for the nightstand. He pulled open the drawer and snagged a bottle of lube. Warming it in his hands, he lathed my vulva with it, working it inside.
He ran a slick hand up and down my thigh. “Better? I do not want to hurt you again.”
“I’ll be fine, keep going. Last time I was just startled.”
He could split me in half, for all I cared.
My world focused entirely on a singular cock.
We began again. Now that I knew what to expect, I was better prepared for the stretch.
I wiggled against him, encouraging that battering ram to breach my gates.
With a downward shove of my hips, the head finally slipped inside me.
I moaned, and he went very still.
“Rafael? Are you ok?”
His eyes unfocused, staring past me. The idea of hitting him when his face was already so bruised and swollen sat uneasily in my belly, but he needed it. I drew back and slapped his face, careful to avoid the fractured cheekbone. He only blinked, so I slapped him with the other hand.
“Again,” he whispered, “harder.”
I put some follow-through into it, turning his head with the force of my slap. Rafael squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He blinked rapidly for a moment.
That raptorial gaze refocused on my face. “Good, thank you.”
Rafael thrusted into me, hard. I gasped as his cock slammed into my cervix.
He drew back and thrust again. I’d always liked a good, rough pounding, but this was a whole new level.
Pain built right along with orgasm, shoving me to the brink of sanity.
I braced myself against his chest as his fingers sank into my thighs.
“I am…going to…come…” he panted.
“Not yet.” I slapped him again, lighter this time. “Hold it back.”
He grinned, and his hips slowed in their punishing rhythm. I took over the tempo, raising myself as much as I could on my knees, and dropping my weight on his cock. Rafael moaned, long and low in his throat. His abs clenched.
Fresh streamers of fire raced from my cunt to my head with every drop. I dug my fingernails into his pecs and let the blaze take me. He breathed hard through clenched teeth. The tremor started in his thighs.
“Now!” I clenched around his cock with all my might.
The orgasm blistered up from the base of my spine. I threw my head back and screamed as I writhed on his cock. Rafael shuddered beneath me, muscles standing out with the strain of holding himself back.
I took his face in trembling hands and panted out, “You—are—safe!”
His hips slammed into me, and he groaned.
Cock pulsing, he released his death grip on my thighs to pound the mattress with the side of a fist. Deeper, harder.
He skewered me, thrusting as deep as my body allowed.
Into my diaphragm. Into my ribcage. Into the apex of my heart.
A roar thundered up from deep within him, gaining force as he let it out.
Bass vibrations accompanied each pulsing pump of cum.
Fuck, I was full beyond capacity, but his orgasm kept going. I glanced down at my distended belly. He let out one long groan, arching off the bed to impale me completely. The cry cut off abruptly, and he shuddered to a halt.
Eyes closed, chest heaving; all the tension left Rafael’s body. As I reached to touch his face, he pulled out of me. At least he was gentler this time. He rolled into a fetal position on his side, taut as a piano wire, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook.
“Hey, are you ok?”
A deep sob answered.
“Hey, hey, you did so well. I’m so proud of you,” I cooed, hovering as close as I dared. “I love you. Seni seviyorum.”
The sobbing increased, wracking his body. His skin flushed, highlighting his scars.
Helpless, heart tearing open, my hand floated inches away from his hair. “Can I touch you?”
“Y-yes. Yes.” Rafael sucked in a deep breath. Then another.
I stroked his hair. “You were amazing, and I’ll be amazed if I can walk tomorrow.” I caressed his shoulder, his arm, his back. “You never have to do that again if you don’t want to. I loved every second of it, but I will love every second of being with you in any capacity.”
“You are too good to me,” he breathed. “Ah, my love, my soul.”
Haltingly, Rafael uncoiled. I scooted to sit upright with my back propped up by the pillows. When he finally looked at me, I held my arms out. He rolled over and rested his head in my lap.
Trailing his bandaged hand over the fingerprint bruises now speckling my thigh, he said, “Apologies, beloved. I think my hubris has finally caught up to me.”
I brushed his hair from his face. “What do you mean?”
Rafael twisted to look at me with a rueful grin on his battered face. “I do not have a repeat performance in me today.”
1 “Rain” by Sleep Token