Chapter30
Xander
(One Year Ago)
I’D NEVER FELT SO MANY emotions warring within myself at once.
Desperate desire for the naked girl pinned in front of me.
Furious uncertainty about what happened a year ago.
Rage that she’d moved on and let another man behind her precious walls.
Anguish. Relief. Lust. Aggravation. Euphoria. Fear.
So many fucking things were going on in my head and practically tearing me apart at every angle in an effort to dominate. But there was one that stood out from the rest, a feeling that shared in each of those other feelings to create this overwhelming swelling within my chest.
I grabbed my swollen dick, pumping it in one hand while dragging two fingers through her glistening spread pussy.
Her dripping arousal coated my clawed fingers.
I barely resisted the urge to press the tip of those sharp nails in a way that would both hurt and please.
Instead, my demonic claws gave way to my human fingers just as I swirled the two digits right at her entrance.
Her back arched, and her eyes rolled back into her head. “Holy shit.”
“There’s nothing holy about what we’re doing, Ghost.”
I pumped and stretched her entrance. She was tight as fuck, which made me want to laugh ruefully.
Clearly, that Alex prick either hadn’t treated her well while he was here or he had nothing to work with.
The latter made me work her pussy harder with my fingers, curling and circling them right against where I knew would feel best. Sure enough, she spasmed and moaned in response, which made the ache in my cock grow.
“Say it,” I ordered her while adding a third finger.
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
“Say you’re mine.”
“Go to Hell,” she tried to bite back, but the words got lost in a shaky gasp.
The corner of my lip rose in a mischievous smirk. “Gladly.” I withdrew my fingers from her pussy to replace them with the tip of my cock. “But please know, I’ll be dragging you there with me.”
I grabbed her hips and thrust mine forward, swiftly seating myself inside her.
I let out a sharp breath as her cunt squeezed me just right.
She shook hard in my arms with mouth agape and eyes tightly shut.
I dove into her mouth, tangling our tongues while keeping her pinned between the headboard and my body.
Shadows held her wrists hostage against the headboard as I gripped her hips tightly to push in and out of her.
“Say it,” I hissed into her mouth, pleasure rippling through my cock.
“Xander,” she gasped, and her body trembled. Her glasses had gone crooked, and the green eyes behind them blurred with lust.
“Say it,” I demanded once more, angling myself even deeper.
“I’m—” She threw her head back and bucked against my dick buried deep inside her. “—cumming!”
Her entire body shook hard as she crested over that edge. The sight of her shattering in my arms had me following, spilling my own hot cum inside of her tight, pulsing pussy.
“Goddamn!” I huffed and dropped my head to her forehead. I didn’t move, instead pushing in harder so that my dick sealed all of the white fluid inside of her. “I really fucking wish I could get you pregnant. Then you couldn’t deny who you belong to.”
She shook her head weakly where it leaned back against the headboard. Her words quivered. “You … better … not.”
“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” I placated, dropping a kiss on her bare collar bone. “Demons and humans can’t breed.” I paused and narrowed my eyes. “Unless those in the past just didn’t try hard enough. Challenge accepted.”
“You’re insane,” she grumbled around a small laugh.
I smiled and nuzzled the crook of her neck with my pierced nose. “Yeah. I guess you do make me that way.”
She tensed and seemed to hold her breath.
I wrapped my arms around her to hold her even closer in response, my cock still firmly buried inside of her.
Even with that physical connection, I still couldn’t quite believe this was real.
She was right in front of me, legs draped over my hips and naked body fully against mine, yet I worried this was a vision conjured from my desperation to see her again.
“Why?” she asked softly.
I let out a sardonic yet somber chuckle. “That should be my line.” I pulled back to meet her gaze. “Why? Why did you leave without saying anything?”
“I did say something.”
The reminder of her note made my stomach churn.
I still vividly remembered racing out of my bedroom while yelling her name when I awoke to an empty spot in my bed.
I remembered seeing Nightly, the bat I’d won for her, sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island.
He’d faced me like some foreboding warning with a paper and pencil on the counter beside him.
I felt the hole being punched through my chest all over again as though reading the note anew.
You were a mistake, and I regret it all.
Don’t look for me, because I won’t be looking for you.
“Yeah,” I agreed around the lump in my throat. “Yeah, you did.”
She nibbled the corner of her lip while studying my face. “I was surprised that you actually listened. I was on high alert for a few months after leaving, fully expecting you to show up when I didn’t want you to.”
“I won’t lie. I definitely thought about hunting you down. I thought about shadow-walking to the TV network to find your filming schedule or even get your address. I told myself you didn’t mean what you wrote.”
I studied her face, drinking in her round green eyes, askew glasses, dark hair falling around her shoulders, pink lips tight as she listened to me. My attention fell on the gothic moth I’d tattooed on her chest. I swallowed hard and reached out to trace the ink with my fingertips.
“But then the thought, the fear, struck me. What if you did mean it? Your sudden change in behavior that day, the way you couldn’t look at or talk to me.
I was so fucking afraid that you actually had changed your mind.
You regretted getting closer to me.” I let out a rueful laugh and shook my head.
“I’ve never feared a damn thing. I am fear.
But you … you’ve made me feel a lot of new things. ”
Her guarded and harsh gaze softened as she listened to me.
I didn’t know what was going through her head.
She always kept certain parts of herself firmly under lock and key, and those locks had only been reinforced over the past year.
I didn’t care, though. I’d take whatever she was willing to give me, and maybe with time, I’d earn the right to peer past her defenses and face whatever was beyond them with her.
“I want to wash up,” she mumbled, no longer meeting my eyes.
This time when she pulled away, I let her go.
She disappeared into the bathroom where the shower turned on.
I wanted to join her, to go for a round two, but honestly, I hadn’t meant to do round one.
I’d been careful with her in the past and moving at a pace that ensured she was always comfortable, but when she’d goaded me with her new relationship … I fucking snapped.
“I’m the worst,” I grumbled, raking a clawed hand through my hair and between my ribbed horns.
While she cleaned up, I snapped my fingers to instantly clean myself.
Since I knew what room Kendyll was in now, I disappeared in a plume of shadows to reappear in my own room.
Zagan’s room was right next door, and I could hear the moans and gasps of the two women I’d sent to him.
The Incubus was clearly showing them a great time, much better than what I would’ve given them.
Ever since Kendyll, I’d been shaken off my game. I fucked around as a way to distract myself from thoughts of her. It had worked for a time, but my mind inevitably roamed and wandered, picturing what my dark-haired ghost was doing at that very moment and what had gone wrong with us.
I changed into some sweatpants and discarded the clothes I’d changed into after the Sinners Do It Better concert we’d done that evening.
We were in this California city for an all weekend long concert, so fans were rabid around here.
That was how I’d bumped into the two women who were practically stalking us for the chance to get to fuck one of us.
Not that I cared about the shady behavior. They weren’t a threat to us.
The only human who posed any danger to me was across this hotel floor.
Eager to return to her, I merged with shadows and reappeared in her room.
She must’ve finished washing while I was gone, because the lights were off with only the TV playing softly and creating a cool, dim glow.
Kendyll was snuggled under the comforter with eyes closed and glasses on the nightstand.
I still had so many questions. I didn’t want to pretend that the past year of absence hadn’t happened. But pressing her for answers right now would only make her slip further away from me. So I slid back into our old habits, and admittedly, choosing this moment with her felt like coming home.
Wordlessly, I rounded the bed and slipped into bed beside her.
“You’re back,” she stated flatly without turning to look at me.
I studied her back, which faced me and propped up on my elbow. “I’m back.”
“Why?”
“Because this is where you are.”
Catsper appeared between us then. He meowed happily when he saw me with his one eye and bounced straight onto my shoulder. Laughing, I stretched out on my back and pet the ghost feline, giving him some energy to help with his transparency and solidification.
“Hey, Catsper,” I greeted, scratching under his phantom jaw. “You been taking care of our girl?”
Kendyll twitched beside me, but after a tense moment, she just shimmied deeper into the blankets. Her silence in place of an argument felt like a small victory, which made me smile. Releasing the cat, I rolled back onto my side to drop a kiss to her temple.
“Good night, Ghost.”
She was quiet as I settled in myself. Just as I got comfortable and still, her small voice broke through the night.
“Good night, Xander.”