Chapter 10 #2
“We can share her,” Victoria says. “Would you like that, Isla?”
Isla nods vigorously.
“Then, it’s settled. Would you like to take her for a walk after breakfast with your mummy?” She fires a look at me. “If your mum says it’s okay.”
More nodding. More broad grins. More blooming like a flower kept in darkness suddenly seeing the sunlight for the very first time. These people are strangers, yet Isla is smiling more than I’ve seen her smile in months.
Are they magicians?
More likely they’re good people. Kids have a sixth sense, knowing bad from good. The kindness this family is showing us is humbling. I’m not sure what to do or say that could ever convey just how much this means to me.
“Let’s eat,” Charles says. “Busy day ahead.”
Thirty minutes later, I bundle Isla into a coat and hat, and push mittens onto her tiny hands.
It’s a typical January day, with biting winds and a smattering of snow on the ground.
I don’t want her to get cold. As we approach the bottom of the stairs, where Vicky—which she insisted I call her—waits with Daisy.
What I’m not expecting is for Tobias to be standing right next to her dressed in a coat and scarf, wearing a broad smile.
“Mind if I tag along?”
“Are you sure? You must have tons on your plate.”
“I delegated.” He takes Daisy’s lead from Vicky, and I swear they share a look before she waves and disappears. “Do you want to hold Daisy, Isla?”
Isla’s face lights up like fireworks on Bonfire Night. She takes Daisy’s lead, holding on tightly, and the determination and responsibility on her little face reaches into my chest and compresses my heart.
“Shall we go?” Tobias asks.
He leads us behind the house, where horses in rolling fields graze on hay, and an impressive stable block bustles with activity.
Tobias chats the entire way, filling silences I don’t know how to.
He includes Isla in everything, pointing out the horses’ names and what kinds they are.
The things I know about horses could fit on a postage stamp, and in truth, they scare me, but Isla is transfixed, absorbing every word Tobias says with wide-eyed amazement.
As we leave the stables behind and head over the fields, Isla runs ahead with Daisy, skipping out of sheer joy.
“Isla, don’t go too far.”
“She’s fine. Oakleigh is incredibly secure, I promise.”
I glance up at him, shielding my eyes from the winter sun. “You really are filthy rich, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” He drops a wry smile. “That probably sounds like boasting, but it’s all I know. All I’ve ever known.”
“Not boasting at all. Just stating the facts. It must’ve been something else growing up here as a kid.”
“It was, for a time. Then Annabel and Xan were kidnapped, and everything sort of went sideways from there.” His face twists in pain, and he turns his head to the side as though to hide his grief from me.
I let him have the private moment, turning my attention to Isla. “I’m sorry. No child deserves to suffer like that.”
“No.”
I’ve taken a couple of steps when I realize Tobias has stopped. I pivot.
“I will make this go away for you, Rebecca. For you and Isla.”
“Money doesn’t solve every problem. If the law thinks I’m unfit, they will take her.”
“Not happening. Trust me.”
I release a steady breath. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think I’ll ever trust another man.”
He nods. “That’s fair and understandable in your circumstances.”
I half expect him to trot out some trite comment like, “You’re young. You’ve got plenty of time to fall in love again.” He doesn’t say any of that. It surprises me then that I offer context he hasn’t asked for.
“In Isla, I have everything I need. I don’t think I could bear another man to touch me. I’d be too afraid that they’d hurt me like Marcus did.”
An odd expression crosses his face, vanishing a second later. “Also understandable.”
We continue walking, lost in our individual thoughts. At the brow of the hill, the fields dip toward to a stream. Isla’s already half way down.
“Isla, stay away from the water!” I holler, hurrying my steps. Tobias’s loping stride keeps up with me. “She can’t swim,” I add.
“We have a pool here. I can teach her if you like.”
I say nothing, and he chuckles.
“What’s so funny?”
“Your face says it all. You’re wondering what my agenda is, despite me having already told you.”
I can’t deny it, so I still say nothing.
“You’re a smart woman, Rebecca. It’s natural to be suspicious. That’s your instincts keeping you safe.”
Shame they didn’t work five years ago when Marcus came into my life.
After guiding Isla away from the stream, we fall into step again.
Already, I’m changing. The strength Marcus robbed from me is slowly rising from the ashes.
Surviving an absent father, an alcoholic mother, and a jailbird brother builds resilience, but Marcus stripped that away until I was a shell—a hollow vessel I didn’t recognize.
Now, the woman I thought was gone forever is peeking from behind the curtains and realizing it may be safe to come out.
If Tobias means what he says, and he can get Felicity and the press off my back, then Isla and I can move away. Start again somewhere fresh and rebuild our shattered lives.
I’m lost in thought when Tobias quietly asks, “Was Isla born non-verbal?”
Pain lances through my chest. I halt my steps and squeeze my eyes closed as Isla’s voice rings in my ears. Her sweet baby voice, which I haven’t heard in over a year.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Forget I asked.”
I meet his concerned gaze. “It’s fine. It’s a natural question.
No, she wasn’t born this way.” I check where Isla is, and see she’s far enough away for her not to hear me.
“She spoke until she was three. Then, one night, she walked in on Marcus beating me. I remember telling her to go to her bedroom, hide beneath the covers, but it was as though she was frozen. Then she burst into tears and started screaming, begging him to stop.”
Daddy, stop. Please stop. Mummy! Mummyyyyyy!
My chest tightens. It’s as though my ribs are crushing my lungs. I’m right back in the moment where everything changed. Where I made the decision that, no matter how long it took, I had to find a way out of there, if not for me, then for Isla.
“What happened?”
“He yelled that if she didn’t shut the fuck up, she’d be next.” My gaze tracks to my sweet angel, skipping alongside Daisy, her pigtails flying in the wind. “He got what he wanted. She hasn’t spoken since.”
“Jesus, Rebecca. Fuck.”
“Yeah.” I shrug, not because Isla’s silence isn’t monumental, but because I’m so terrified she’ll never speak again that a shrug is all I can manage.
“I miss hearing her voice. Sometimes, when I close my eyes and concentrate hard, I can hear her, but every day the memory grows fainter.” Hot tears rush to my eyes, and I look away.
“I’m so fucking sorry. No child should have to suffer that.”
I swallow hard and look toward Isla once more. She’s crouched in the grass, hands buried in Daisy’s soft, white fur, her face tipped up to the sun.
“Have you thought about therapy? For her and for you?”
“Often. Marcus would never have allowed it, and even now he’s gone, I can’t afford it.”
“I can.”
I shake my head. “You’re doing so much already. I might make an appointment with our GP. See if they can put me on the waiting list.”
“With how overstretched our public mental health services are, it could take years for an appointment. Think about letting me help you. Please.”
“Okay.” My voice is small. I hate the idea of charity. At the same time, I know it’s what Isla needs. I do, too, but she comes first. Maybe I could take Tobias up on his offer for her.
“I’ve never seen her so relaxed,” I say, my voice quieter than a whisper of wind. “She likes it here.”
“She’s safe here,” Tobias says. “You both are.”
When I glance back, his gaze is on me, steady, reassuring, honest. I’m not ready to step out of the shadow of doubt just yet but, maybe one day, I will be.