Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
REBECCA
A few hours ago, I left Oakleigh as an outsider. A loner who has never felt a part of anything solid. Now, I’ve returned with four best friends, a heart filled with love, and hope for the future.
Alan, Charles’s butler, informs me that Tobias and Isla are still at the stables.
On the way home, I watched two videos he’d sent me.
One of them has Isla sitting on a tiny pony while Tobias shows her how to hold the reins.
The second one is of her being led by him around a small paddock, and she is beaming.
My daughter is braver than I am.
There’s a spring in my step as I make my way to the yard. One of the grooms points to a stall about halfway down, where Tobias and Isla are. I thank him and make my way there.
I peer inside. Tobias and Isla are sitting on the floor covered in straw while the pony I’d seen her riding tucks into a bucket of food. They’re both laughing and tossing more handfuls of straw at one another.
My heart.
My heart damn near explodes right out of my chest.
I rest my arms on the bottom half of the stable door. They haven’t seen me yet, too busy laughing and playing.
“Well, would you look at you two.”
The pair of them jump, then Isla scrambles to her feet. I open the stable door, giving the pony a wide berth—it may be small, but those hooves still look big, and don’t get me started on its teeth—and drop to a crouch, enveloping her in a tight hug.
“Have you had a good time?”
She nods, then points at Tobias’s pocket.
“You want me to show Mama the other videos?”
She nods again. Tobias taps a few times on his phone before he gives it to me.
I watch all four additional videos and, despite crying far too many times already today, more tears come.
I’m turning into one of those women at risk of running out of tears.
Only these days, they’re happy tears rather than ones borne out of pain or fear.
“Isla, you’ve done amazing. Look at you.”
Tobias smiles as I pass his phone back to him. “We’ll have her entering the pony games at the Horse of the Year show before long.”
“Not entering.” His smile falls, until I add, “Winning.”
“What was I thinking? Of course, I meant winning.”
“Right then, missy. What do you say we get you bathed, fed, and in bed?”
She shakes her head, then yawns.
I laugh. “Someone’s tired. Come on. You can come back to the stables another day.” She holds out her arms and I pick her up.
“How was your day?” Tobias asks as we begin the walk back to the house.
“Wonderful. I feel so relaxed.”
“I’m glad. You deserve a little pampering.”
“A little? I’ve been spoiled. Everyone is so lovely.”
When we arrive back at the rooms Isla and I share, and which has recently expanded into Isla having her own bedroom, Tobias hovers like he’s unsure whether to go or stay.
“Would you like to help me bath her? We could have dinner together, and then you could help me put her to bed.”
I don’t think there is a single thing I could’ve said which would’ve made him look happier than he does right now.
“I’d love to.”
“You say that now, but I’m putting you in charge of the bedtime story, which she will insist you read at least five times to avoid going to sleep.”
“If it makes her happy, I’ll read it ten times.”
Dinner is a simple affair of pasta, and by the time her bowl is empty, Isla’s half asleep.
All that fresh air and excitement have done their job.
I give her a quick bath and get her into her pajamas.
Tobias insists I relax on the sofa while he puts Isla to bed and, in a move unlike me, I don’t even argue.
I sink onto the couch and close my eyes.
Just for a minute, I tell myself. Just while Tobias settles Isla down.
But exhaustion pulls me under before I can fight it.
“Hey.”
The voice snaps me from sleep. I scramble up the couch, cowering, knees pulled to my chest, hands guarding my face. “I’m sorry. Don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me.”
“Rebecca, you’re okay.” A hand touches my shoulder. I flinch. “It’s me. It’s Tobias. You’re safe.”
Reality creeps toward me at a snail’s pace. I slowly lower my hands and scan the room. I’m not at the home I shared with Marcus. I’m at Oakleigh. My heart hammers inside my chest, each beat painfully earned.
“Tobias?” My voice is hoarse.
“Yes, it’s me. You fell asleep.”
I blink, my eyes stinging as Tobias’s face comes into focus. “Asleep. Right.” I drag a shaky hand through my hair. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he growls. “Not to me. Never to me.” He perches on the end of the couch, as far away from me as he can get. “What can I do, Wren?”
My hands won’t stop shaking. I tuck them underneath my armpits. Definitely something to discuss with Jane at my next session.
“Can I hold you?” Tobias asks. “Only if you think it’ll help.”
A warm rush comes over me, chasing away the chill that’s settled in my bones. “I’d really like that,” I whisper.
Tobias shuffles along the couch before enclosing me in his muscular arms. He brushes my hair off my face and kisses the top of my head. It’s platonic, not sexual, and it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I melt against him, soaking up his heat, his solid steadiness.
“You’ve called me Wren twice now.”
“I’ll stop if you hate it.”
“I love it.” I’ve never had a nickname. Not even at school, unless loser counts.
He squeezes a little tighter.
“Did Isla go off to sleep okay?”
“Yeah, although you were right. Five times I read that book on her bedside table.” He chuckles. “You know your daughter.”
I huff a laugh, the earlier fear I’d felt when sleep conned me into thinking I was back in hell shrinking. “You’re so good with her. She adores you.”
“I’m completely besotted with her. She’s got me wrapped around her little finger.”
“Don’t let her take advantage,” I warn. “She may be cute, but she still needs discipline.”
Tobias rests his chin on top of my head. I could stay here all night, I’m so comfortable, and warm. Being in his arms is bliss.
“You’re an amazing mother. She’s a credit to you.”
“She’s the one good thing I’ve done in my entire life,” I whisper. “The only thing I could never regret.”
He makes a sound. I lean back. Our eyes connect, and there’s a moment. A fleeting moment that’s gone before I can make sense of it. My breath snags in my throat. I sit up, sliding out of Tobias’s embrace.
“I’m tired. I think I’m going to head to bed.”
I feel his eyes on me, assessing, studying. I keep looking at the patterns in the carpet, unable to force myself to meet his gaze. Something has shifted, and I don’t know what.
Tobias pushes to his feet and stands there. Eventually, I glance up. He caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers, then his hand drops to his side. “Goodnight, Wren. Sleep well.”
He crosses the room and disappears into the hallway. For several minutes, I stand there, staring at the closed door. Wren. It feels… intimate. And I’m not afraid of that intimacy. I want to lean into it, not run away from it.
I wrap my arms around myself. Am I falling for my husband?