Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
NICHOLAS
My wife glides into the dining room as though she’s floating on air, the navy-blue dress she’s chosen for our monthly family dinner clinging to her curves like a second skin.
Ever since our sailing trip almost two weeks ago, where I revisited memories I work hard to keep locked away, I feel lighter somehow. As though by confessing the thoughts that have haunted me for two decades, I’ve shared that burden with her, and the weight I carry isn’t as heavy anymore.
I still can’t forgive my mother for killing herself, and I’m not sure I ever will, but it doesn’t hurt quite as much to think about her now as it used to. Maybe with Victoria by my side, I can find a way to flush out the poison running through my veins. I don’t want to hate my mother for choosing to leave us. It’s like an albatross around my neck, and until I find a way to cut it loose, I’ll never be able to truly move on and put the past behind me.
Something shifts in my chest when Victoria’s eyes meet mine. She gives me this soft smile like we’re sharing a secret only we know about, and my groin heats. Extricating myself from Dad and Christian, who are rambling on about Christian’s latest project that’s nearing completion, I cross the dining room and slide a hand around the back of her neck.
“You look positively sinful in that dress.”
Standing on tiptoes, she puts her mouth right beside my ear. “You should know I’m not wearing any underwear. It spoiled the line of the fabric.”
I almost swallow my tongue. Fuck. “If Dad hadn’t invited your parents tonight, I’d feign illness and skip this dinner altogether.”
Momentarily, she looks disappointed. “Oh, yeah. I forgot my parents were coming.”
“You’re not happy about that?”
“Oh, no. Of course I’m happy. It’ll be good to see them. I’ve hardly seen them at all since the wedding.”
I’m not convinced, but before I can question her further, Laura and Phillip arrive. I park my queries for later, but I pay special attention to their interactions with their daughter. I’ve never noticed it before, but there’s a distance between them, almost as though they’re acquaintances. The kiss Laura, Victoria’s mother, gives her is perfunctory and her father merely pats her on the shoulder, then moves away to talk to my dad and Uncle George.
Victoria’s face falls, but she covers up her feelings like a pro, a mask of serenity slipping in place. How had I not seen this before? I think back to when I was with Elizabeth, and whether Laura and Phillip were the same with their youngest daughter, but the memories of that time have faded, as if Elizabeth’s death wiped the slate clean.
All I see now is Victoria. My vibrant, incredible wife, who has somehow burrowed her way beneath my skin and set up home.
She’s also the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. My palms twitch with the desire to touch her. I feel starved of contact, even though the opposite is true. Yet it’s not enough. It’s never enough.
Confession time: I’m obsessed with my wife. It’s not love, I know that, but the feelings I have for her are probably as close as I’m ever going to get, and that’s more than I hoped for.
We take our seats. Dad has put Victoria’s parents across from us, flanking them with Uncle George and Aunt Alice. My lips twitch. Good luck to Phillip trying to get more than three words out of my taciturn aunt. Luckily for her, George’s extrovert personality more than makes up for her painfully introverted one.
Resting my hand possessively on Victoria’s thigh, I glance at my own father and catch him looking at me with an expression of serenity. His eyes flicker to Victoria, then back to me, and he nods and smiles.
Shaking my head, I smile too. Well played, Dad. Well fucking played.
“How is that little hobby of yours coming along, Vicky?” Laura asks, daintily closing her lips around a sliver of lamb.
Victoria stiffens beside me. “If you mean my design company, it’s coming along well.”
“Still just a hobby, though, right? I mean, it’s not as if you need to work now you’re married to Nicholas.” She shifts her gaze to me, her smile faltering as she takes in my glower.
“It’s not a hobby,” I say between gritted teeth. “She’s doing amazingly well. I’m proud of what she’s building, and I’m happy to support her all the way.”
My wife shoots me a grateful smile and slides her hand beneath the table to cover mine. She squeezes. I squeeze back.
“Oh, well, yes. I’m sure. But it’s not as though there’s any future in it. Soon, she’ll have babies to take care of.”
I square my shoulders, irritation flaring beneath my skin. “Respectfully, Laura, our family planning is none of your business. And having children does not preclude my wife from building a successful career.”
“Nicholas.” Dad’s quiet warning has no effect. I saw the way Victoria wilted under her mother’s veiled insult, and I won’t fucking have it.
“I didn’t mean to pry.” Laura cuts her eyes to Victoria. “I’m glad we paired you with someone who appreciates your… special talents.”
“I more than appreciate her.” I bring our joined hands to my lips and kiss the tips of her fingers. “I’m lucky to have such an amazing wife.”
Where she wilted for her mother, she blossoms for me. Her spine straightens, and her eyes glow as she smiles at me.
“We’re both lucky,” she says in a voice only I can hear.
“I’m relieved it’s worked out,” Laura continues, her tone-deafness shining like a freshly polished pane of glass. “I thought our Vicky would be too spunky for you. Beth was a better fit, but…” She ducks her head and swipes beneath her eye at a crocodile tear. “My poor, darling Beth. I don’t suppose you’ve discovered yet who took my baby from me?”
Uncle George pats Laura’s hand. “There, there, dear,” he says. “Don’t get upset. Our Nicholas won’t rest until he finds those responsible. Isn’t that right, Nicholas?”
Victoria pales and snatches her hand from mine. Scrambling to her feet, she mumbles, “Excuse me,” and dashes away from the table.
I glare first at Laura, then at Phillip.
“When I find out who killed Elizabeth, you’ll be the second to know.”
I barely register her query of “Second?” Tossing my napkin on the table, I mutter apologies to my father and stride after my wife.
I find her a few feet outside the dining room, her hands resting on her hips, taking cleansing breaths. Her eyes glisten with tears I can tell she’s determined not to let fall. She’s such a fighter, but I don’t want her to have to fight. I want to be her rock, the man she can rely on when she needs propping up, when she needs a defender. When she needs someone to fight for her.
“Hey.” I brush the back of my hand over her cheek. “You okay?”
It’s a dumb question. A fucking idiot could see that she isn’t, but intuition tells me that if I press her right now while her parents are a few feet away, she’ll clam up.
“Yeah.” She gives me a wavering smile. “Just them talking about Beth, you know? Brings it all back.” She clasps my hand when I go to move it, pressing my palm against her cheek.
I study her carefully, reading the tightness of the skin around her eyes, her slightly puckered mouth, the dullness of her hazel eyes behind the glaze of tears. I’m not buying what she’s selling.
“Thank you, though, for what you said. About Montague Interiors. And about me.”
“I meant every word.” Leaning closer, I kiss her forehead, then take her hand. “Shall we get this dinner over with, then we can talk?”
She doesn’t ask what about. She knows. It’s feasible that my confessions about my mother have enabled her to trust me, and with any luck, she’ll open up to me as I opened up to her.
We slide back into our seats as dessert is served. I catch Laura’s eye. My expression warns her not to say a fucking word, and lucky for her, she reads me right and buttons it. No one else mentions Victoria’s impromptu exit, either, and soon the normal level of chatter resumes.
“Fuck.”
The unexpected curse startles me. I twist my head in Christian’s direction. My brother is staring at his phone. All traces of color have drained from his face leaving him ashen.
“What’s wrong?”
His head swivels to me, then travels to Dad. The entire table falls silent.
“Christian?” Dad queries.
“There’s been an accident.” He stands abruptly, and his chair topples over. “A partial collapse of Nexus. I need to get there, now.”
Nexus is Christian’s latest project. A futuristic building aimed to attract tech start-ups in an up-and-coming area badly in need of investment south of the river. It’s been something of a pet project for him, and he’s taken more of an interest in it than he normally would, working closely with the architect and the construction firm for the past few months.
“Fatalities?” Dad asks.
“I don’t know.” Christian thrusts a hand through his hair. “I don’t fucking know.”
Dad tosses his napkin on the table and gets to his feet. “The media will be all over this if we don’t lock it down fast.”
“I’ll get on to my contacts at the news outlets,” Xan says, assuming his position as deputy CEO of our company. “See if I can’t buy us some time.”
We’re powerful, but even we can only hold the media at bay for so long, especially if there are casualties.
“I’ll make a few calls,” Uncle George says. “There are a couple of people in the right positions who owe me a favor or two.”
“Good.” Dad looks grim as he grips Christian by the shoulder. “Let’s go, son.”
“Let me know if you need anything,” I say to Xan.
“I got it.” He plants a hand on my shoulder and leans closer. “Go give your wife some much-needed support. Didn’t realize her mother was such a fucking bitch.”
The rest of my family scatter, leaving me with Victoria and her parents. Before either of them can say a thing, I get there first.
“Phillip, Laura… Alan will see you out, and I’m sure I don’t need to add that what you’ve heard here tonight stays in this room. We don’t tolerate leaks.”
Laura’s cheeks turn pink, and Phillip clears his throat. “You can rely on our discretion.”
“I’m sure I can.” The underlying threat is there, and Phillip knows it, too.
I wait for Victoria’s parents to say goodbye to her and motion to Alan, Dad’s butler, to show them out. Once they’ve left, I take my wife’s hand, bringing it to my lips.
“Ever since I told you about my mother and how much her decision to end her life affected me, I’ve felt somewhat lighter.” I kiss her forehead. “Let me lighten your load.”
Braced for an argument that doesn’t come, we head upstairs to our apartment.
Victoria kicks off her shoes the second we enter and they land with a dull thud against the side of the couch. Her knees almost give out as she collapses onto the pile of cushions, head back, nose pinched between her thumb and forefinger.
“That was some night. I hope no one is hurt.”
I sit beside her, pulling her feet into my lap. Digging in my thumbs, I massage the soles. “Me, too. We’ll know soon enough.” She groans and squirms, and her other foot shifts, the heel brushing against my dick. “Careful, or the talking will have to wait.”
“Wouldn’t be a bad thing,” she mutters.
Deciding it might be easier if I ask questions and she answers, I begin. “Is your mother always that dismissive of you?”
A deep breath lifts her chest, and her nostrils flare as she exhales. “Deep down, I know my parents love me, but…” Her cheek pops as she runs her tongue along the inside. “They loved Beth more. She was always their favorite, and they didn’t hide it. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know, and don’t ask me to ask them either, because that’s a big fat no.”
“Yes, miss.”
Her lips tilt up, but the smile doesn’t last. “I remember begging my parents for a puppy for my tenth birthday. I had visions of a cute ball of fluff—something that would love me unconditionally. Even at that age, I sensed they treated me differently from Beth. Mum’s response to my constant begging was always “We’ll see,” and to a kid that’s as good as a yes. When my birthday arrived, I tore down the stairs, bursting with excitement to meet my new best friend.” She lets out a one-note laugh. “You know what they got me? A Crufts game complete with showing arena, several plastic dogs, plus those little jump things and a tunnel. Mum said a puppy was too much work and that it wouldn’t fit with our lives. I was crushed, and I cried myself to sleep that night and for several nights afterward.”
My throat tightens, a wave of compassion combined with anger washing over me. Her parents aren’t just tone deaf. They’re fucking idiots.
I switch to her other foot, if only to stop her from grinding her heel into my dick. Now she’s started talking, it’s important I let her finish.
“That year, for Christmas, my parents bought Beth a kitten.”
My jaw unhinges. Jesus Christ Almighty. “You’re fucking with me.”
“Nope.” She pops the ‘p’. “According to Mum, kittens are far less work than a puppy.” Both her shoulders lift up. “Just one of a hundred examples. Where Beth was quiet and introverted, I was insolent and opinionated. I stood up for myself, whereas Beth always found a way to keep the peace. I never came first with them. I’ve always felt second best.”
How I swallow the curse that crawls into my throat, I’ll never know. Always second best, and I added to that by choosing Elizabeth as my bride when Victoria, as the older sister, was the expected match in our circles. That my father granted me that freedom was surprising enough, but my poor decision weighs on me like a ton of concrete.
I want to tell her I was wrong, that I should have picked her in the first place, but the words stick in my throat. There’s a risk they’ll sound like platitudes rather than the truth. This isn’t the time. I hope I fucking recognize the right time when it comes.
“So, you see, when you told me about your mum and how parents don’t have favorites, you were wrong. They do. Mine are living proof of that. And now Beth is dead, she’s basically immortalized in my parents’ eyes, and nothing I do will ever be enough. Not now.” She grimaces. “That makes me sound selfish. I don’t mean it to. I loved Beth with all my heart, and I’ll never get over losing her, especially in such violent circumstances. But even with her gone I’m not enough for them, and that hurts.”
I stop rubbing her feet and lift her onto my lap. “You’re enough for me.”
Drawing her lips to mine, I kiss her, pouring all the things I can’t find the right words to say into the kiss. She sinks against me, plastering her body to mine. I reach for the zipper on her dress and tug it down.
“Let me show you how enough you are.”
Sometime later, sprawled on the couch, naked and spent, a sharp rap lands on my door, and my father calls out, “Nicholas, are you in there?”
“One sec.” I tug on my trousers, leaving my chest bare. Victoria scrambles into the bedroom, scooping up her dress, underwear, and shoes on the way. I make sure the door is closed before I let my father in.
“What news?”
He looks tired, the paper-thin skin around his eyes bruised. Grimacing, he shakes his head. “We’re waiting for the fire service to complete their search. One side of the building just sheared off.” He blows out a heavy breath. “Only saving grace is how late at night it happened. If it’d collapsed during the day, God only knows how many casualties there would have been. Christian and I have a meeting with the Health and Safety Executive in the morning. George has done his best to smooth things over, but there’s no escaping an investigation. We need to do what we can to keep a lid on this before it explodes in our faces.”
“If you need me…” I trail off.
“I do. My office in five minutes to devise a media strategy. I’ve briefed The Consortium, but the council will want a full report first thing in the morning.” Another grimace pulls the edges of his mouth down. “It’s going to be a long few days.”