Chapter 19 #2
“I underestimated her. What I thought was petty jealousy on her part was more than that. There are things I’ve learned since then that I won’t put on you or use as an excuse for what she did.
The point is, I made a mistake, and you were deeply hurt because of it.
” Voice heavy with regret, he shook his head.
“And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how truly sorry I am for all this.
But…my only other option at the time was telling Landon everything, and the risk of doing that?—”
His voice broke and features crumbled, and my chest constricted as everything spiraled out of my control.
“I told you. It clouded my judgment. Especially since your feelings were mutual. I had committed to making that choice—telling him everything, even losing him—if it meant beating my father, but it wasn’t just me who’d lose him then.
And honestly, if I’m being completely truthful, I don’t think I would’ve done it, in the end.
Even if it had been just my feelings to consider. ”
“What could you possibly have to share with him that could do so much damage?”
“That, I can explain. But I can’t do it here.”
When he gestured to the bike, I shook my head.
I looked away from him, trying to focus on what else I needed to know about the attack before I considered hearing anything else. “Okay, so you came up with this plan, and what? Vivian was supposed to do what?”
“She was only supposed to corner you. Threaten you to try and intimidate you into leaving. The details were given to her purposely in front of another Maiden, so there’d be a witness to what happened.
But they didn’t anticipate anyone overhearing.
And once Elaine got involved, I imagine, with what we know now about her true feelings, things spiraled from there. ”
My voice broke. “They held my head under water, so I couldn’t breathe , Kingston.”
His expression shattered, his hand clutching his chest, rubbing the brand Dr. Barrow had ordered him to leave alone. He reached for me with the other. “I know. I know, Quinn. I?—”
I held out my hand and stopped his progress. “Why me?”
He faltered, stopping to regain his bearings. Forcing himself to draw in breaths, he held up his hands, offering them out to me even though he knew I wouldn’t take them. Like he wanted to give me what I needed.
But this was all he had.
“Since I saw your photo, I’ve believed you could change everything at Camelot Court.
Once I read your file, that feeling grew, and then I met you.
And I do believe it, but I’m only realizing now how that includes them—the Maidens.
An oversight on my part, and it shouldn’t have been, but—I know I can’t take back what happened, but I can promise to tell you the rest of what you want to know. If you’ll let me.”
He gestured to the bike again.
“Give me one chance to explain, and then I’ll give you space to think about it and decide what you want to do.
I can take you right to Gia or have her come get you.
Bring you back here to Landon, or—” He swallowed, fighting past an emotion that threatened to choke him. “Or I can let him go with you.”
My eyes widened. The way he said it?—
Kingston stepped forward, tentatively. “Regardless, my offer—my promise that you won’t leave here with nothing—stands. So, if you choose to leave because of this, I swear you’ll be safe, and you’ll be taken care of.”
He made it sound like he could let us leave—let us both go—without anyone coming after us. The question Landon and I had wondered what felt like ages ago. It would be possible.
Except, in this scenario, we’d leave without him .
That thought froze me in place.
Like ice water dropped on top of my rage, it was enough to make me pause.
And when I didn’t retreat, Kingston slowly took my hand and swiped his thumb over my skin.
I stared at where he touched me, and I couldn’t tell if it was his fear bleeding into me, or my fear for him holding my attention on that spot.
“And you? What happens to you if we leave?”
“I’ll deal with whatever comes from this, Quinn. I don’t want you to worry about that.”
Blue-gray eyes met mine, sadness lingering there that struck a chord deep in my bones, even though he tried to hide it.
But there was something else.
Something that had always been familiar. Something that tied us together from the very beginning.
Understanding.
He knew how bad this was. He accepted that I couldn’t downplay it—couldn’t pretend—and he hadn’t tried to, either. He was taking accountability for what happened, even the part that came down to Vivian’s choice.
Maybe that was why my phone remained in my backpack.
My mind whirled with everything he’d said. I tried to think through what to do next, knowing he’d accept my decision. Whatever it ended up being.
And I believed that.
Because he’d offered to do it, even if it meant losing us both.
After everything he’d done to avoid losing Landon, he’d let him go with me to make this right, and he’d stay here to deal with the fallout...
Alone.
For that reason, I wanted to hear the rest.
I needed to hear the rest.
But I couldn’t handle any more secrets, right then.
“I believe you, when you say it wasn’t your intention for it to play out like it did. But that doesn’t change what happened, and I can’t lie to you and say I know how I feel about all of it right now.”
He nodded, dropping his eyes and reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. “I can call her. Call them, or just him…if that’s what you want.”
“No.” I shook my head, and his eyes jumped to mine. “I’m not leaving. I just—I need time to think about it.”
“And the rest? The part I can’t share here?”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “When— If I need to hear the rest, I’ll come find you.”