Chapter Twenty-Four
Ella
The following Monday, I was feeling refreshed and ready for work after a quiet weekend of yoga, fresh fruit and tidying the flat till it looked perfect.
I felt fired up with enthusiasm about my plans for Alexander’s exhibition.
I hadn’t heard from Philip since he turned up at the office and, quite frankly, I was glad.
I didn’t even feel a proper date was necessary to write his review for the website.
I already felt like I had enough on him to speak about his cheesy chat-up lines, his flashy show-off style and annoying over-familiarity.
The Dicktionary Club was shaping up nicely.
The gym girls had added even more reviews, and I finally felt like we were making a dent in the Glaswegian dating scene.
Which was why we were preparing to launch in just over a week’s time.
I entered the office to the sight of my friends hard at work at their desks.
‘Morning!’ I said, passing by them and taking a seat.
‘Hey!’ Katy beamed.
‘Hey,’ Zola replied, looking distracted with her workload.
‘Good weekend?’ I asked out of habit, but I knew exactly what they had been up to. The WhatsApp chats were pinging nonstop with photos of our food, potential dates for Katy, and double-chinned selfies of Zola lying in bed feeling under the weather most of the weekend.
‘Yep, I met three guys,’ Katy bragged.
‘Three? It was only two last night?’ Zola swivelled in her chair.
Katy pursed her lips and flicked back her hair. ‘Yep, Alfie came round last night!’
I burst out laughing.
‘And?’ Zola pressed her.
‘You can read all about him on the page, his review is already up.’
‘And did you?’ I leaned in, conscious that maybe not everyone wanted to tune into my Monday morning smut. ‘You know. Rate his eggplant?’ I mumbled.
Katy smirked. ‘Uh-huh! And well .?.?. it was bang average.’ She blew out a disappointed sigh.
I sat back on my chair, gutted not to have gotten some juicy sex story first thing in the morning. ‘That’s annoying. And how are you feeling now, Zo?’
‘I’m .?.?. fine, I guess,’ she said, her tone completely flat.
Katy turned. ‘What was up with you anyway?’
‘I’m not sure to be honest.’ She paused, some thought seeming to linger. ‘Hey, do you girls fancy taking a walk at lunch? I feel like I’ve been cooped up all weekend.’
‘Yeah! Duh! Of course!’ I beamed back. I loved a lunchtime workout, especially in the summer months.
Katy moaned and reluctantly nodded, tending to hate any form of exercise. We returned to our computers and continued chatting the morning away while I designed the backdrop for the exhibition.
*
That afternoon, the three of us strolled through Glasgow city centre, sipping iced lattes from Starbucks and enjoying the rare Scottish sun beaming down on our faces.
‘So, what are you girls working on today?’
‘I’m doing a pitch for Blaze Boost to sponsor the hospitality awards this year. It’s in August – a big fancy do in the Hilton – but it will be great coverage for them if we land it,’ Katy explained.
‘That would be great if you got it,’ I agreed, knowing how worthwhile sponsorship could be, especially in a room full of company directors.
‘I’m revamping social media for Individualise Aesthetics Clinic. Maybe I’ll get free botox for doing it,’ Zola said, crossing her fingers to the gods. ‘How’s it with the art thing?’
‘Good! I have everything booked, and the guest list is continuously growing. I’m not only going to pull this off – I’m going to smash it! Alexander’s PA is buzzing,’ I said.
‘And so they should be!’ Katy hugged my arm. ‘I knew it would work out.’
I turned to Zola for some positive reassuring speech on how well I had turned around the campaign, but her eyes were solely focused on the ground.
‘How crazy was it of Philip turning up to the office like that, by the way?’ I gasped, wanting to dive into a bitch session with my friends.
‘Oh my God! I know, Ella. But why do I sort of love it, too?’ Katy seemed smitten by his attempt at flattery.
‘You would! Wouldn’t she, Zo?’ I asked, turning to my friend, who was zoned out once again.
‘What?’ Zola replied, not having listened to a word I was saying.
‘Are you OK, babe? Are you still feeling shit or something?’ Katy asked, noticing Zola’s quietness.
‘I’m fine.’ Zola shrugged back defensively.
I turned to Katy, who pulled a face at our friend, looking too terrified to press the subject, and I paused.
‘Wait, Zola, is this because I cancelled Alvaro? Are you annoyed at me or something?’ I knew there was something going on with her, she seemed irritated or upset with me, and it was the only explanation I could fathom.
‘What? No! Of course not. What are you talking about?’
‘Well .?.?.What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘Something is bothering you, Zola.’
Zola paused and turned to face both Katy and me. She suddenly looked worried, and I glanced behind me, half expecting to be ambushed by the hyper-religious speakers who liked to hang out on Buchanan Street.
‘Zola, what is it?’ Katy stomped her feet like a toddler demanding an answer.
‘OK,’ she sighed at last. ‘I do have something to tell you both, but you can’t tell a soul. I have done something awful, and I suppose .?.?. I don’t know how to fix it. Please don’t judge me.’ Zola’s brown eyes began to well up.
I turned to Katy, who looked as concerned as I felt.
‘Hey, stop!’ I hugged her. ‘We got you! You can tell us anything, Zo. I mean it.’
‘Anything!’ Katy confirmed. ‘Where’s the body? We’ll help you bury it, babe.’
Zola smiled, but only for the tiniest second. ‘The other night, I sort of .?.?.’ She paused, inhaling for courage. ‘I cheated on Curtis.’ And then she burst into tears in the middle of the high street.
I was suddenly aware that my jaw was hanging open and immediately closed it.
‘Zola, I’m sorry. What? When?’ I eventually managed.
‘With who?’ Katy added, also clearly pretty shocked.
My mind couldn’t think of anyone Zola met up with or was friends with in Glasgow other than us.
I’d never known her to talk about any other man that she liked or fancied and I’d always assumed she was genuinely happy.
I knew she moaned about Curtis on occasion, but it was for housework, or his laziness. No big deal. I felt completely baffled.
Zola’s head lowered. She looked ashamed, like she’d been carrying this huge secret all weekend, terrified we’d judge her the instant we found out. ‘Alvaro,’ she admitted softly.
I gasped. ‘No!’
‘I met up with him to tell him you wouldn’t make the date in person. I felt bad we’d cancelled on him so many times. Then we had a few drinks and a laugh together. The next thing I knew, we were kissing down a fucking alleyway.’
She covered her face as the tears streamed. I put my arm around her, guided her over to a bench, and we took a seat, the metal cold on our arses.
‘A kiss is soft cheating, right?’ Katy said. ‘It’s not like you shagged him.’
Zola hesitated.
‘Oh God, you didn’t shag him, did you?’ I asked.
Zola shook her head immediately. ‘We didn’t have sex, but he did .?.?.’
‘Licked your ditch?’ Katy bellowed, rapidly absorbing the information.
I nudged her to hush her voice as a couple of passersby glanced our way.
‘No .?.?. he sort of .?.?.’ Zola sighed loudly, then looked at us. ‘Rang the devil’s doorbell.’
Katy’s face screwed up. ‘He what?’
‘He poked her off,’ I interpreted.
‘And I came! He made me cum in a fucking piss-stinking lane.’
I was in shock, completely in disbelief.
In all the years I’d known Zola, she had only ever spoken about Curtis.
We’d laughed about her messaging Alvaro, but it hadn’t even crossed my mind that she was truly interested in him.
I wondered how much influence the Dicktionary Club had played in this.
She would never have been speaking to someone else if it weren’t for our project.
Eventually, I found my words. ‘And I take it you’re questioning what to do? As in, do you want to see Alvaro again? Do you like him, Zo?’
‘No, of course I fucking don’t!’ Zola insisted with a grunt. ‘It was a stupid thing, it was weird, and as soon as I came, I knew instantly that I had made a massive mistake.’
‘Post-nut clarity,’ I announced.
‘What?’ Katy asked, looking from me to Zola and back again.
‘The serial wanker told me that’s why he cums so much. Orgasms allow you to see things more clearly. It’s what helped make him so successful, apparently.’
‘I am ashamed, and I feel fucking awful for Curtis,’ Zola mumbled. ‘I know I moan about him, but we’re engaged, for Christ’s sake.’ Her bottom lip quivered. ‘He moved up here to be with me, and now I’ve done this to him! I don’t know what to do.’
‘I mean, does he need to know, Zo? You’ve made a mistake. You’ve learned your lesson. Is there any point in upsetting him?’ Katy asked, shrugging.
Although Katy made valid points, part of me did think Curtis had a right to know. I mean, I know I would want to be told. I’d have to know every fact and detail to work out how to deal with it.
Zola hunched forward, hugging her legs. ‘But it’s the guilt! That man gave up his spot at university to move to Scotland with me. He gave up his career, his friends, his entire life.’
‘And that was his decision, Zo.’ I gently rubbed her back. ‘You can’t hold the weight of your entire relationship on your shoulders because he gave up a university place years ago.’
‘Well, what would you do, Ella? Be real with me right now.’
‘Honestly?’ I sighed. ‘Personally, I would have to be honest. Look at how the guilt is making you feel right now. If not for Curtis, do it for yourself, Zo.’
She glanced up at me, then to Katy, and nodded her head.
‘Can you cover for me this afternoon? Say I’m working from Individualise or something?’
‘Wait. Are you telling Curtis right now?’ I asked, hoping she hadn’t made a life-altering decision on a whim.
‘I have to. I know I’ll never get past it if I don’t. He’ll be finished work in an hour,’ Zola said. She stood up from the bench, seeming strangely relieved. ‘Hey, can I stay round one of yours for a few nights? Just in case things get bad?’
I felt my insides crunch up. I loved my friends more than anything, but the idea of their toiletries or clothes and clutter taking over my perfect sanctuary gave me severe anxiety.
‘Of course you can!’ Katy piped up.
Thank fuck for that , I thought.
‘Yeah, of course,’ I added, knowing that I sounded somewhat less enthusiastic.
Zola reached out and hugged us both.
‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ she whimpered, then turned. ‘I’ll message you later.’
*
That afternoon, Katy and I walked on eggshells.
We explained to Andrea that Zola was researching ideas with a client, and although our boss didn’t bat an eyelid, I felt sick.
Everything was racing through my mind. Why did she do that?
Should I have met Alvaro instead? What would Curtis say?
What if he hurt her? I didn’t think for one second that he would be capable of that, he was always such a chilled-out guy, but I’d watched far too many true-crime series to know it was always the ones you least suspected.
I felt like the clock was ticking slowly, and I’d occasionally catch Katy’s eye. She looked equally worried.
Eventually, just after four, our phones beeped simultaneously.
One new message from Zola:
That’s it done. Katy, can I come round to yours after work? X
I breathed a sigh of relief. My friend was still alive, but I knew it hadn’t gone well if she now needed to stay away from her flat.
Katy: Of course! Are you OK? Xxx
Ella: I’ll come too. I’m proud you did the right thing. x
Zola: Thanks. See you soon x