Chapter Thirty-Five
Ella
I woke early the following morning sticky with sweat.
On either side of me, I could hear the deep-sleep breathing of my two friends.
Eventually, I sat up in Katy’s bed, realising I was still wearing last night’s dress.
My face felt tender from all the tears and confusion of everything that had happened.
‘Hey, you OK?’ Zola murmured, stirring as I moved.
‘Tell me that didn’t happen last night?’ I could feel my bottom lip tremble.
Zola looked weary. She nudged her head towards the door. We slipped out of the bed and headed into the living room so we could talk and leave Katy to sleep.
The sun was beginning to rise, and I wondered what time it was, although I couldn’t bear to look at my phone. I wasn’t ready to deal with any abusive messages from Philip or Andrea quite yet. Instead, I sat on the sofa and pulled a blanket up over my legs.
‘Why did this happen?’ I asked, still trying to make sense of everything.
Zola gently shook her head, looking lost for words. ‘I called Natasha late last night after you fell asleep,’ she eventually said.
‘OK. Tell me.’
Zola took a breath. ‘So, you were right, Ella. Natasha was upset that day in the gym over Philip.’
My brain flooded back to Natasha crying inconsolably in the middle of David Lloyd’s changing room.
‘But I didn’t know it was because of Philip. She never said!’
Zola nodded. ‘Yeah, I know. None of us did. So, when I gave her access to the website, she read that partial piece you wrote on him before you two properly got together.’
My eyes began streaming as I remembered boasting about how I could write Philip up without even dating him. I hadn’t taken my nasty words off the website. God, I’d been so wrapped up in how good it felt to be with him that uploading to the Dicktionary Club was the last thing on my mind.
‘Why didn’t she just tell him? Why did she have to blurt it out over a fucking mic in front of the whole fucking city?’ I asked, realising it must have been Natasha draped over Philip before she went all Kanye and stole the show up on stage.
‘One of the other girls said she saw Natasha go up to him before it all kicked off last night,’ Zola said, confirming my fears.
‘Apparently, she made a right arse of herself, told him she missed him and asked him to leave with her and everything, but he told her to go away. He said he wasn’t interested. So .?.?.’
I felt myself deflate utterly. They really had been a thing. ‘So, she exposed everything? What the fuck type of person does that, Zola?’ I asked, feeling the anger build up inside me.
‘A bitter one!’ Zola sighed. ‘But .?.?. she was hurt, babe. And she’s young. I’m not even sure if she knew you and him were properly together.’
I let my tired, achy body sink into Katy’s grubby couch and stared into space. What the hell must Philip think of me? How could I even start to explain all of this?
‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ Zola said, and she headed through to Katy’s kitchen while I continued to replay everything in my head, over and over again, from Alexander’s face to Andrea yelling about what a disappointment I was, to Philip striding off into the distance. That was undoubtably the worst part.
‘Oh my freakin’ God!’ Katy burst through into the living room with half her tit dangling out of a tank top and her hair still backcombed, looking like she’d just stepped out of a cheap porno movie.
‘What is it?’ I sat up, turning to her.
Zola walked through, carrying two cups of tea. ‘I’ve seen it all before, babes,’ she said with a nod at Katy’s boobs.
‘It’s all over the news!’ Katy gasped, turning her phone around and making herself slightly more decent at the same time.
‘What? What is?’ I covered my mouth, hoping this was a weird prank and Ashton was ready to burst through Katy’s door at any moment.
‘The Dicktionary Club, and .?.?.’ Katy lowered her voice, ‘Philip!’
I felt dizzy and flustered, like I was going to pass out.
‘Let me see,’ Zola insisted, setting down the mugs haphazardly and grabbing Katy’s phone. ‘ Millionaire Playboy Philip Khan Gets Played! ’ she read aloud. The three of us exchanged worried glances.
‘ Last night , Scottish businessman Philip Khan was the first to be exposed publicly on new website the Dicktionary Club, which reviews men on dating sites. PR company Smart Reputations formulated the website, allowing previous lovers to give honest feedback on men currently dating in Glasgow. The website aims to reveal how potential suitors have previously treated women , allowing users to vet their dates before taking the plunge. Khan was called out publicly at the launch of Alexander Cambi’s exclusive art exhibition at Kelvingrove Art Gallery, and identified as one of the men featured on the website.
We have reached out to Khan’s representatives for comment. ’
Zola finished reading and glanced up. ‘Well, at least it didn’t name us personally, right?’
Katy let out a small cackle. ‘And Andrea is getting the blame!’
‘Or the credit,’ I added. ‘That makes us sound like the good guys. But we’re fucking not.’ I held my hands against my face in total panic all over again.
Zola rummaged under Katy’s coffee table, pulled out her computer and let her fingers fly over the keyboard. We sat in silence, each trying to comprehend the situation.
‘Holy fuck!’ Zola exclaimed.
‘What?’ Katy moaned.
My stomach twisted; I couldn’t take any more bad news right now.
‘We’ve had over two thousand subscribers overnight!’ Zola laughed in excited glee.
I sat back, unimpressed at the figures.
‘It’s only seven a.m.!’ Katy replied. ‘That’s incredible.’
I was gobsmacked at how superficial my friends sounded and snapped back, ‘Yeah, seven a.m., and we might have two thousand subscribers, but we a disciplinary meeting in two fucking hours and counting – and no boyfriends between us. Girls, we have lost everything because of this fucking website!’ I stood up, pointing to the laptop, feeling myself shake with rage and fear.
‘Not everything,’ Zola corrected. ‘We’ve made over ten grand in one night, Ella. The subscription is ￡4.99 a month! I know we’ve lost a lot, but at least we can make rent now.’
I held my hands up. ‘Oh, yeah. Every cloud!’
‘Ten grand!’ Katy’s face was lit up with dollar signs. ‘Jesus sweet Christ!’
Zola laughed loudly.
I shook my head and picked up my bag and phone in a panic.
‘Hey, where are you going?’ Katy asked.
‘I have to go for a walk. I’m sorry. This feels so wrong.
I feel awful. I don’t even want to be part of the Dicktionary Club anymore.
We have just trashed Philip’s entire reputation and it’s like you don’t care.
Not to mention Alexander Cambi’s first Scottish exhibition of his art and his documentary.
Fuck! Do you realise how horrible that makes us? ’ My voice shook with emotion.
‘Wait, Ella,’ Katy said, standing up.
I held my hand up, not wanting to be reassured.
‘No, I’m going. I’m done. I’ll meet you both at work.’
‘Hey!’ Zola said, lifting her head from her laptop. ‘We can sort it, Ella.’
I sighed under my breath, knowing some things could never be fixed. I left Katy’s flat and took myself back home so I could get ready for Andrea’s meeting.
As I sat alone on my sofa staring down the ticking clock, my mind began replaying the events from the previous night over and over again.
From the joy of seeing Philip turn up to the sheer panic of watching Natasha ruin everything.
I heard my foot tap nervously on the wooden floor, and I stood up, shaking it off before heading through to my bedroom.
I slipped on a hooded jumper and leggings, and bundled my hair into a small claw clip.
If today was the day I lost my job, I was doing it in complete comfort, without a fight.
I knew I deserved everything that was coming down the track at me.
At ten to nine, I was sat outside the conference room, Zola and Katy at either side of me, glued to their phones, seeming much more relaxed than I’d have anticipated them to be.
‘You OK?’ Zola asked, lifting her head from her phone.
I nodded.
‘Have you heard from him, Ella?’ Katy asked, and my eyes glanced at the article about the Dicktionary Club she was rereading.
I shook my head, feeling a stabbing ache in my gut.
The conference room door opened and together we shared a look with one another as no one came out to call us in.
‘Well, it’s not a fucking ghost, is it? Let’s go.’ Zola was the first to stand, looking more fired up than the rest of us, and we headed into the room where Andrea and Silvia from HR were sitting.
‘Close the door behind you,’ Andrea said, arms crossed and poker-faced.
Katy did as she was instructed and we all took a seat beside one another, facing the two women.
‘Good morning, ladies,’ Silvia began, in a friendly tone.
I’d only met her a few times at Christmas parties, and she always seemed pleasant enough, but like everyone in this building, she was completely petrified of our boss.
‘So, Andrea has filled me in on what happened last night, and that’s why today’s meeting has been called at such short notice.
Now, we’d like to interview you individually on the matter, and take it from there. Who would like to go first?’
I turned to my friends, ready to offer myself up. If I went first, I could possibly save Zola and Katy’s careers. Even if mine wasn’t salvageable, I didn’t want my friends to be collateral damage to my shitshow of a life.
‘We’d like to have a group discussion, if that’s OK, Silvia. Since we haven’t been given adequate time to inform our unions,’ Zola piped up.
I turned to my friend, darting her a confused look. What was she doing?
Silvia seemed a bit more anxious now unions had been mentioned, and so she focused on shuffling some papers on the desk. After some heavy humming she raised her shoulders at Andrea for some sort of permission to proceed.