20 Ian #2
They work for a few hours, brain half reading titles and finding the right spots for them on the shelves, and half replaying that exchange with Heart-Eyes.
Was it just a coincidence that he came into Ian’s bookstore?
Are there two big scary men walking around town with the same awful tattoo?
They try to remember exactly what he looked like at brunch, but aside from a vibe and the tattoo, they can’t conjure up his face clearly.
Ian knows everyone has at least one doppelg?nger in life, but with the same tattoo?
Still, he didn’t seem violent. Dangerous, sure, any guy that big could be dangerous, but there was so much less menace once he started talking. Except about being a Kinsey 2. That’s definitely the most menacing Kinsey rating.
They go on shelving for a while, pausing to sip their coffee and ring up customers as they come in.
They’re still not sure what to text the group: that the scary guy showed up and bought some books while talking about his sex life?
Half the customers who come in here talk about their sex lives.
Still, they should probably say something, right?
“Lunch!” Kate says, emerging from the office. “You got almost everything shelved, nice.”
“I’m not that bad at this job,” Ian says.
Kate shrugged. “I got you the California roll and the Philadelphia roll.”
“And—”
“And the gyoza. I know your order.”
Ian grins. “Want me to go pick it up?”
“How many books left to shelve?”
Ian nods at the small pile.
“Just take care of those first.”
“Thanks.” Ian grins and finishes shelving. They’re eager for the walk to the sushi place. Fresh air might clear their head. Outside, they pull out their phone, still not sure what to say to their friends about Heart-Eyes. The city is cool and breezy, and they walk with their eyes on their screen.
Then, a block from the bookstore, a car pulls up suddenly in front of him. The door opens, revealing Heart-Eyes inside, grinning. He holds a gun pointed at Ian.
“Get in,” he says.
Ian swallows, eyes darting down the street. No one can see Heart-Eyes. The windows are tinted and he’s leaning back. Ian could try running, but that would probably be bad, too. So they get in, legs shaking.
Heart-Eyes reaches over them to slam the door shut, and the car starts moving. There’s a privacy screen up, so Ian can’t see the driver.
“What do you want?” they ask, voice quivering.
Heart-Eyes puts the gun in a holster under their coat. “Relax. Just want to talk. This would be easier if you’d just given me your number. Why didn’t you? Not your type?”
“Uh—”
“It’s okay if I’m not. Just curious. It’s a shame, you’re cute. I liked your act at brunch. That red dress looked real good on you.”
Ian swallows. “Thanks.”
Heart-Eyes shrugs. “Hey, no worries. I’m just—ah.” He takes a vibrating phone out of his pocket and hits Speaker. “Someone wants to talk to you, Ian.”
“Okay…” Ian says.
“Hello,” says a voice from the phone. Feminine. “So nice to speak with you, Ian.”
“Um, hi,” Ian says, staring at the phone in Heart-Eyes’s hand as though it might show them something beyond a blank lock screen. “Who is this?”
“That’s not really what you should be asking, I’m afraid.”
Ian is scared but still frowns. If there’s one thing they hate, it’s being told what to do. Except by Kate. “No?”
“No, you should be asking why someone like me would go to all this trouble just to talk with you. How did someone like you get wrapped up in this?”
Ian sighs. They know how: Brandon. Good thing they love him. “Bad choices?” they say instead.
The voice chuckles and Heart-Eyes laughs, too. “They’re funny,” the voice says.
“Cute too,” Heart-Eyes adds.
“Can we just get to what you want?” Ian asks. “I have no idea what’s going on.”
“No, you probably don’t, poor thing,” the voice says.
“And I am sorry for that. So let me tell you what’s happening in brief: We asked a friend to bring something to New York.
A little zip drive. Simple thing. He checked into a hotel we paid for, where he met your roommate, Brandon Weissman, and then vanished.
But his phone stayed at the hotel. We thought that was curious, so Arthur here followed it.
Brandon seemed to have it on him. We’re not sure if that was some hilarious mix-up, or intentional, but in any case, Arthur followed it back to your place, which he investigated thoroughly. ”
“That was you?” Ian asks, glaring. “I had to clean for hours.”
“Sorry,” Heart-Eyes says, maybe even sincerely—Ian can’t tell with him. “I tried to be gentle with the wigs.”
“We needed to make sure you weren’t in on this,” the voice says. “But then the phone moved again. Brandon led us to our friend. Arthur tried to…retrieve our property but, sadly, made a miscalculation.”
“I fucked it,” Heart-Eyes says.
“Yes you did,” the voice says.
“‘Fucked it’?” Ian asks.
“There was this other guy,” Heart-Eyes says, shaking his head as if disappointed. “Moved at the last second.”
Ian swallows, understanding. “You shot the wrong man.”
“Fucked it,” Heart-Eyes says with a nod and a sigh.
“In any case,” the voice continues, “our friend escaped with the zip drive, and Brandon fled the scene without meeting him.”
“And there were a lot of dogs,” Heart-Eyes adds. “Cute ones.”
“The phone went dead a short while later. We’re honestly not sure what to make of all this. But you, being Brandon’s roommate, might know something. And we’d love to know what you know.”
“Honestly, much less than that,” Ian says, leaning back.
Ian almost snorts at how little they and their friends know, apparently.
But one thing is for sure—they have nothing Heart-Eyes and this woman on the phone want.
May as well tell them everything and hope they laugh enough they decide not to kill anyone.
“Brandon met this guy at the hotel, like you said. Jon. They hooked up, and Brandon is, like, in love with him.”
“Wait,” the voice says. “He slept with a guest at the hotel he works at?”
“Yep.”
“And now is in love with him because of that one night?”
“Yep.”
“I’m not sure I believe this.”
“Trust me, I don’t either, but it’s classic Brandon.”
“Kinda sweet,” Heart-Eyes interjects.
“So, when someone who wasn’t Jon picked up the phone, and then someone else who wasn’t Jon came for his things, Brandon hid the phone. Thought maybe he’d slept with a married man. Wanted to give him the phone back. Said he’d be like Prince Charming with a glass slipper.”
“Christ,” the voice says, exasperated. At the same time, Heart-Eyes says, “Aww.”
“Yeah,” Ian says. “There was a meeting place on the phone, Brandon went there, saw someone die, and we’ve all been freaking out since then. We want nothing to do with this, I promise.”
“But why would our friend—Jon, you called him—decide to run from us after meeting Brandon? And put our zip drive up for auction?”
“I have no idea,” Ian says. “Brandon is great, but he’s never chosen anyone who fell in love with him the way he falls in love with them before. Maybe he finally got it right.”
“You think Jon is in love?”
Ian shrugs. “No clue.”
“If he is, he’ll find Brandon again, won’t he?”
“Honestly, I hope not. Brandon deserves someone not being hunted by scary people with guns.”
“You showed them your gun?” the voice asks.
“They didn’t respond to my flirting!” Heart-Eyes says, looking mildly crestfallen. “Still not sure why.”
Ian almost feels sorry for him. “You’re cute, but Brandon already described your tattoo, so I figured it wasn’t genuine.”
“It was,” Heart-Eyes says. “Work and play can go together.” He smiles in a way that’s almost sexy. Ian tries not to smile back. That would totally make them Brandon.
“I told you, you need to get that thing removed,” the voice says.
“It’s sentimental,” Heart-Eyes says. “I’ll just switch to turtlenecks. I can pull off a turtleneck, right?” he asks Ian.
“Sure,” Ian says, not sure how else to respond. “Don’t go with black though, too obvious. Blue is more your color.”
“In any case,” the voice interrupts, “we have a simple request. Arthur here will give you his number. If Jon turns up, please let him know when and where. And if, by any chance, you find that zip drive, I’d be happy to reward you very generously.”
“Will you hurt my friends?”
The voice laughs. “A bunch of twentysomethings in way over their heads? No. No need. No one will believe this story. I barely do. And cleanup would attract more attention. As long as you fulfill your end of the bargain, you’ll be safe. And if you find that zip drive, you can be more than fine.”
Ian rolls their eyes. “Sure.”
“Ten million dollars. Think of how that could kick-start your drag career.”
Ian goes silent, brain whirring at the number.
Student loans done, easy. Their friends’ loans, too.
Custom gowns and wigs. They could quit the bookstore job, open their own club, perform as a headliner every night, hire a publicist. An image of success flies up in their mind.
They don’t know Jon. They don’t know what’s on this zip drive.
They know all this is sketchy as fuck, but… for ten million…
“Think about it, Ian,” the voice says. “What do you want your life to be?”
“I…” Ian shakes their head. They want to get less involved in the drama, not more, but their life could change. What do they want their life to be? “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s wonderful to hear. And, of course, everything I said about not hurting you or your friends?
That goes out the window if you try to warn your friends about this or tell anyone about our chat.
Then I’ll have Arthur here sink all your bodies in the East River.
” Ian looks up at Heart-Eyes, who shrugs apologetically.
“This has been a nice little chat. Thank you. Goodbye.” The line clicks off, and Heart-Eyes puts the phone away.
“So, can I give you my number now?” Heart-Eyes asks, hand open for Ian’s phone.
“Do I have a choice?” Ian asks, opening their phone; they have like a million texts. They swipe those away and hand it to Heart-Eyes.
“Awww, don’t be like that,” Heart-Eyes says, entering his number as Arthur Smith, then sending a heart emoji. “Think of it this way: Sure, this is a scary situation for you, but it could be a fun story to tell our grandkids.”
“You’re way too thirsty,” Ian says, taking the phone back. “You’d have a better shot if you played hard to get.”
Heart-Eyes shrugs. “What can I say? I don’t usually have much time to make an impression. Where can we drop you?”
“Sushi place, Wassup B, just a few blocks from the bookstore.”
The car turns, but Heart-Eyes stays silent, looking out the window. Ian is almost offended.
“Anything else you need from me?” Ian asks.
“Nope,” Heart-Eyes says. “We’re good.”
“Was she lying? Are you going to kill me and my friends?”
Heart-Eyes shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “Nah, she was right. Too much trouble. And besides, I could never kill someone as pretty as—” He stops mid-sentence, turning his smile into a scowl. “No.”
“Someone as pretty as me?” Ian asks, laughing.
“You told me to be hard to get, so I’m doing that.”
“Great,” Ian says. “I do like a man who can take orders.”
The car pulls to a stop in front of Wassup B. Heart-Eyes turns to look at Ian and wiggles his eyebrows. “I was in the military.”
“Tempting,” Ian says, opening the door. “Maybe if you were wearing the uniform.”
They get out as Heart-Eyes laughs and close the door. The car drives off. Ian watches it until it’s around a corner and out of sight, then screams again.