CHAPTER SEVEN | London
CHAPTER SEVEN
London
“Damn, I much prefer walking in here to see your pretty face rather than my brother’s ugly mug.” Alec gives me a crooked smile as he fully enters the office, sauntering toward me.
When I left, Alec Kade was still a boy and had not yet outgrown that awkward teenage phase we all go through. It’s safe to say he finally did because I would even go as far as to call him hot, which is a stretch considering I’ve always looked at him like a little brother.
Where Penn is all sour-faced and brooding, Alec is easy smiles and infectious charm, something I have no doubt takes him far with the ladies.
“I could say the same to you.” I return his smile with one of my own.
In the week that I’ve been working here, Alec is the only one who’s treated me with true kindness, not fake pleasantries or forced smiles, and I appreciate it more than he will ever know.
“He’s still being a jerk?” He plops down in the chair across from my desk, stretching his long legs out in front of himself.
“If by jerk you mean he only speaks to me when absolutely necessary, then yes, he’s still being a jerk.”
“Give him time, he’ll come around.”
“I doubt that.”
“I heard he’s not the only one giving you hell.”
“He told you about Cat?”
My brain makes a beeline back to last week when I walked in to find Cat rubbing up on Penn like a feline in heat. I wanted to rip her eyeballs out and stuff them down her throat the second I saw her touching him.
Mine, I wanted to scream.
I have no idea where the reaction came from. Obviously, Penn is not mine and hasn’t been for a very long time, but in that moment, my brain seemed to have forgotten that little piece of information.
“If you ask me, I don’t know what he sees in her.” Alec shakes his head. “Well, that’s not entirely true. I know what he sees.” He cups his hands under his pecs, lifting each hand up and down. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s referring to—her boobs.
“You’re a pig.” I snort out a laugh.
“In all seriousness, don’t let her get to you. She’s a snake that one.”
“Trust me, I’m well aware.”
“Besides, we all know you didn’t come back to Wren Cove because you weren’t good enough and she’s a twat for even thinking it, let alone saying it.”
“I appreciate you saying so.”
Silence stretches over us for a few long seconds. I can tell he wants to say something, but rather than push him to just spit it out, I wait.
“So why did you come back, really?” he finally asks. “Because I know it wasn’t the employment opportunities.” He gestures around the room.
“Definitely not,” I agree.
“So why are you here, LV? Really.”
“I got hit by a cab.”
“Shut up.” He barks out a laugh, slapping his knee like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard.
“I’m not joking.”
“If you don’t want to tell me, you can just say so. Though, as far as excuses go, that one isn’t half bad, albeit a little hard to believe. I’ll give you points for creativity.”
“No, Alec, I’m being serious. I got hit by a cab.
Broke my femur in multiple places. Doctors said I’d never dance again.
Didn’t stop me from trying, though it didn’t do me much good.
I spent every cent I had trying to regain what I had lost until eventually, I was left with only two options—homelessness or Wren Cove. ”
“Shit, London. I had no idea.” His humor falls away in an instant.
“I didn’t exactly publicize it.” I shrug.
“So you’re done. Like this isn’t a temporary return home?”
“I’m done,” I say, trying to fight the bitterness that rises in my chest at the thought.
“So what now?”
“Honestly, I’m just trying to find a way to get through each day as it comes. I don’t have much of a plan past that,” I admit.
“You should tell Penn. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so hard on you.”
“Absolutely not. And you’re not going to tell him either. The only thing worse than his anger would be his pity, though why he’s so angry is beyond me.”
“His anger should be pretty self-explanatory.” Alec gives me an apologetic look. “You left him, LV. Broke his damn heart.”
“I left him. What about the fact that he let me leave? He didn’t once ask me to stay. He didn’t once ask to come with me.”
“Why would he? You broke up with him.”
“No, I didn’t!” My voice shoots up an octave. “I told him I wanted to go to New York. That I had to try and make it, or I’d never forgive myself. I wanted him to be a part of it, but it was clear he had no interest in that.”
“So why didn’t you just ask him to go with you?”
“Because he made it pretty clear he didn’t want to.”
“Did he say he didn’t want to?”
“No, but he didn’t say he did.”
“You two are both too stubborn for your own good, you know that?” Alec shakes his head. “You didn’t ask him to go, he didn’t ask you to stay... Neither one of you said what you truly wanted. If you ask me, you’re both at fault.”
I consider his words, knowing he’s not wrong. I knew after I left that I made a mistake by not asking him to come with me, but by that point, he had accepted that our relationship was over and put up no fight in the matter. Pride wouldn’t allow me to be the one to buckle.
“Well, it doesn’t much matter now, does it?”
“It matters more than you know.”
“How so?”
“Just trust me on that.” He runs a hand through his short brown hair. “I know Penn has been a dick to you since you got back, but I promise, if you just talk to him, clear the air, things would be a hell of a lot less tense around here.”
“You say that like he’s soooo easy to talk to.”
“Fair.” He hits me with that crooked smile of his for a second time.
“You won’t say anything to him?” I feel the need to confirm.
Alec was someone I could always talk to and to my knowledge, he never betrayed my trust. I guess that’s why, even after all this time, I find myself pouring out my entire story to him simply because he asked.
“Not my place. But if I were you, I would. Penn may act like he’s got it all figured out, but I promise you, on the inside, he’s barely holding it together.”
“He seems fine to me. More than fine, if what I walked in on the other night is any indication.”
“Cat’s a Band-Aid. She’s not healing anything; she’s just masking the wound. Penn hasn’t been the same since you left and then after Dad... Finding him like that.”
“What do you mean finding him like that?”
“Penn is the one who found our dad. It was already too late. He was gone by the time Penn stumbled upon him.”
“Oh, Alec. I’m so sorry.” I swallow past the sudden lump that has wedged itself into my throat.
“Don’t be sorry. If there’s one thing that’s certain about living, it’s that eventually you will die.”
“That’s a morbid way to look at it.”
“My dad was a holy man, London, you know that. And while I may not share in the faith the way he did, I take comfort in knowing that he’s at peace with his creator. If there is a Heaven, I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot nicer up there than it is down here.”
“I believe Heaven is real, and I believe that your father is looking down on you and your brothers every day, so proud of the men he raised.”
“Proud of Penn maybe... Me.” He shrugs. “Doubtful.”
“Don’t say that. You are an incredible man, Alec. You always have been. In fact, it’s one of the few things that haven’t changed in the time I’ve been gone.”
“I think you’re giving me too much credit.”
“I think you’re not giving yourself enough. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” I stand and cross around the desk. “Come here.” I grab his hand and tug him to his feet.
Without another word, I wrap my arms around his middle and hug him like my life depends on it. I’m not sure if it’s for him or me or maybe a little bit of both, but when his arms close down over me, I instantly feel a million times better.
I breathe in his scent, sea air and salt mixed with the muskiness of his cologne. There’s something so familiar about that smell. Something comfortable. Like coming home, though it’s not Alec’s face I see when I think of why that is.
“Well, isn’t this cozy.” There’s no mistaking the disdain in Penn’s voice as he chooses the absolute worst time to push his way into the office.
Alec and I break apart in an instant, Alec looking even more uncomfortable than I feel as he looks down at me in apology, like he knows this isn’t going to bode well for me.
“I should uh, get back to work.”
“Yes, brother, you should.” Penn practically growls as he rounds his desk, eyes pinned on his little brother.
“I’ll see you later, LV.” He nudges my shoulder as if to say good luck before turning toward the door.
“Bye, Alec,” I call to his back seconds before he disappears outside, the door creaking closed behind him.
“You do realize I’m not paying you to canoodle with my brother, right?” Penn’s hard gaze swings to me, pinning me in place.
“We weren’t canoodling. We were talking about a sensitive topic, and he looked like he could use a hug, so I gave him one.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You know, maybe if someone gave you a hug, you wouldn’t be such a miserable prick all the time.” My inability to hold my tongue gets the better of me once again, though I’m not sure I would take the statement back even if I could.
“Oh, I’m good in that department. Hugs. Kisses. A sweet, wet—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” I cut him off, seeing immediately where this is going.
“Why? It’s true.”
“It’s also true that Cat would sleep with the garbage man if he asked, so you shouldn’t consider yourself special.”
“And that garbage man would be damn lucky for it. Best lay of my life.” His blow lands exactly where he intends for it to, though I don’t give him the satisfaction of letting it show on my face.
Jealousy. Red hot jealousy. That’s what I feel in this moment. The same jealousy I felt when I walked in and saw Cat Stewart in his lap. I could have killed her right then and there and not felt an ounce of guilt for it.
Okay, so that’s not entirely true, but you get my point. I was mad. Maybe I didn’t have any right to be mad, but there was no fighting that emotion once it took root.
“I guess as long as the sex is good.” I cross my arms in front of my chest. “Tell me, do you hold your hand over her mouth while you screw her? Because we all know listening to that woman talk is like listening to someone drag their nails across a chalkboard.”
I react immaturely, which I realize all too late is exactly what he was hoping for. If I’m being petty, it means I’m affected. And it’s clear to see that affected is what he wants me to be.
“Maybe you could come watch sometime and find out for yourself. She puts on quite the show, especially when she’s choking on my co—”
“You’re disgusting.” I cut him off, circling my desk. “Now, unless you want me to hit you with a harassment charge, I suggest you leave me the hell alone and let me finish my work.”
“A harassment charge?” He barks out a humorless laugh. “Oh, no! Don’t report me to HR. Oh, wait, I am HR.”
“Are you done? I don’t remember you being this childish.”
“Surprised you remember anything at all.”
“Because leaving Wren Cove immediately equates to me erasing an entire lifetime of memories? Okay.” I roll my eyes, sarcasm dripping from every word.
“Now who’s being childish?”
“Would you shut up and let me get back to work?”
“Why are you so angry?” He cocks his head to the side, humor dancing behind his eyes.
The a-hole is enjoying this.
“Why are you?” I fire back.
“Hmm.” He taps his chin. “Let me think. My dad died. I was forced to take over his company or let his life’s work amount to nothing. And now I’m stuck with you, the girl who thought it would be fun to use my heart for target practice.”
I try to hide my wince, though I’m not sure how successful I am at it.
“One. I never used your heart for target practice. I said I wanted to go to New York. You said okay. That was your choice. Two, it’s been seven years. Hold a grudge much?”
“You’re wrong there. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Bullshit.” I slap my hand down onto the top of my desk with a loud smack, not able to take any more of this man’s crap. “You had a choice, and you chose wrong. Don’t punish me for your mistakes.”
“My mistakes?” He looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“Yes, your mistakes.”
“You wanna have this out right here. Fine, let’s do it. But let’s not pretend who hurt who here. I am not the villain in your story.”
“And I’m not the villain in yours,” I argue.
“Actually, that’s exactly what you are. What else would you be after the way you left?”
“The way I left, or the way you let me leave?” I retort.
“Let you leave?”
“You say you didn’t have a choice, but you did. You could have asked me to stay.”
“You made it pretty clear you were leaving no matter what I said.”
“No, I said I wanted to move to New York, not leave you. I was trying to tell you what I saw for my future. A future I intended for you to be a part of. But you just heard what you wanted to hear, that I was choosing dance over you. You didn’t stop long enough to consider that maybe I wanted you to come to New York with me.
” My voice shakes, anger and emotion welling to the surface, threatening to split me at the seams.
It’s too much.
The injury. Losing my lifelong dream. Having to come back here. Having to endure this man’s cruelty because he was too weak to fight for me. It’s all coming to a head, and I fear that once those floodgates open, there will be no closing them again.
“If you wanted me to come, you would have asked me.”
“After the way you just accepted it, almost like you were relieved?”
“Relieved?” His anger flares. “You destroyed me!”
“And you destroyed me! You were supposed to fight for me, not let me go.”
“How was I supposed to know that?”
“If you loved me enough, it wouldn’t have even been a question.
You would have done everything in your power to hold onto me.
You didn’t. So while you may have convinced yourself that I’m the one who broke your heart, maybe you should take a moment and ask yourself why you didn’t ask me to stay.
Or why, at the very least, you didn’t offer to come with me. ”
I pull open the desk drawer so violently that it nearly detaches from the desk. After grabbing my purse and phone, I slam the drawer shut seconds before I make a beeline toward the door.
“Where do you think you’re going? Your shift isn’t over!” he hollers to my back.
“Then fire me, asshole.” I shove the door open with so much force that it slams into the wall before snapping closed with a bang.