7. Leela #3
Realizing she was staring, Leela turned to the unlit fireplace.
“Do you wish to sit?” he asked. “Or stand there like a gawking Flame?”
Leela snapped her eyes to his.
His familiar charm and sparkle flickered, the curl of his lip returning. Except it didn’t flutter her stomach as it used to when she was the lovesick fool who wanted to marry him. Instead, hot anger nestled in her gut, threatening to flicker and burn if he pushed her.
“I’d rather stand, thank you. And not in here,” Leela said, glancing at the strip of light stretching over the table.
“Do you prefer the shadows?”
Leela stepped back, inching away from the moonslight. “Yes.”
“I remember you being scared of heights. I don’t remember you being scared of your own shadow, Leela.”
Leela’s chest tightened. The way he said her name was like time had never passed between them. As if she were still the girl lying in his arms.
“I guess thinking someone was dead does things to people. Heights don’t bother me anymore because they were the only place to see you. Yet here you stand.”
Rajesh looked at her, a flicker of pain and what she supposed was anger. He sucked in his breath and opened his mouth.
“Don’t,” she snapped.
He arched his brow. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t act like there’s nothing wrong with this situation. Like time wasn’t our enemy.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his curls, but they bounced back into position. “Tell me, Leela. What’s wrong with this situation?”
She bit her lip, wanting to unleash the wrath inside. But she needed to calm down. She should be happy, not contemplating why he was here. Why couldn’t she just be happy he was here? Alive? Well?
Because he had everything she’d ever wanted and possibly hadn’t thought of finding her. Because rejection fucking hurt, no matter what it looked like. It didn’t matter if it was the same old Rajesh who used to make sugary baked goods with her or work the fields in the morning.
“Say what’s on your mind.” Rajesh leaned against the bedframe, crossing his ankles and arms as he settled his gaze on hers. “I know what you want to say. So say it.”
“What?” she poked.
“You want to yell at me,” he said. “And, garnered, you have the right.”
There was no point lying. The man knew her better than she knew herself. Still, Leela knew time had aged her in more ways than just physically. Time had caused her softer side to wither, hardening her.
“Why,” she said, frustrated as the syllable wavered on her tongue. “Why didn’t you come and find me?”
“I tried,” he said simply. “But I thought you were dead, Leela. Same with you, I assume? You didn’t come to find me either.”
It was so simple it hurt. She knew he was right. She hadn’t, because she had watched him die at the base of a dune. “You died. I watched you.”
“Just like I thought you were,” he said, tone low.
Leela didn’t know what else to say. She could scream.
She could hit something. But he was right.
He hadn’t come to find her for the simple reason that he thought she was dead.
How could she argue with that? But that wasn’t what she was really mad about.
She was hurt by what he said the night of the attack.
She was deflecting, trying to find other things to be mad at him about. Even if they were small things.
Anything to stop the heartache boiling inside. He had been very forward with his words.
He didn’t love her.
“I did try to find you,” Rajesh whispered. “But the world is in chaos, and traveling over the dunes is hard, especially when I was told you were dead and there was no point looking for you.”
Leela’s chest tightened. The clenching of his jaw told her it was true. They had both believed the other was dead. It almost hurt to admit then why she stopped looking. Still, that was also obvious. She had stopped looking because why would she look for someone—something—if it was dead?
“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” Rajesh said.
Leela frowned. “Excuse me?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sorry. Because this moment has led you to me, and that look on your face is priceless.”
Leela’s mouth opened and shut several times, trying to find an explanation, but she came up short. “I am not… I… I don’t have an expression.”
“If I had a mirror, I’d show you that look. Or I could paint it. At least it would last longer,” he said. “Or better yet, I could—”
“Stop talking,” she snapped. “You’re deflecting.”
Rajesh glanced around the room as if searching for something. “Deflecting what? Need I remind you I just saved your life?”
Leela scoffed. “I was doing fine.”
He shook his head. “Still as stubborn as ever.”
“Still as annoying as ever.”
“Oh, I haven’t even begun.”
Leela’s cheeks flushed. She had forgotten how quick he was with his comebacks. How could he pull her in, just like that, and make her forget everything? He managed to wriggle under her skin and fester in her emotions, making her feel.
“Now that is a new look,” Rajesh said. He tilted his head back and chuckled. “Oh, I forgot how easy it was to piss you off.”
“Then you remember what happens when you piss me off?”
A sparkle glistened in his eye. “Exactly why I’m trying—”
“Sir!” The door slammed open, and Tanmay stood in the doorway.
Leela jumped, hand to her heart.
Rajesh rubbed his face and shook his head. “Tanmay, how many times do I have to tell you not to slam my door?”
“Sorry, sir. But there are more drakion on the horizon. We have all the people who are alive on the ship and ready to fly, Captain.”
“As second mate, you have the authority to set sail, Tanmay.” Rajesh pushed himself from the frame with his hips and sauntered over. He put a hand on Tanmay’s shoulder. “But thank you. We need to go home. How many survivors did we take on?”
“A dozen or so.” Tanmay bowed his head. “There were quite a lot of deaths.”
“Any of our own?”
Tanmay shook his head. “We’re all accounted for, Captain.”
“We didn’t get here soon enough.” Rajesh sighed and shook his head. “But we will be better next time. This place was further from our outpost than we normally travel.”
Tanmay nodded.
“Alert the crew to set sail.” Rajesh glanced over his shoulder at Leela, a small smirk riding his lips. “We can talk more when we’re home. Now, are you ready for the best part?”
She frowned but silently followed Rajesh out on deck. Those injured from the attack leaned against the railings, tears streaking down their cheeks and cuts and bruises riding their skin. Marks of haunted memories.
Rajesh ascended a set of stairs onto the quarterdeck and curled his fingers over the railing.
Leela frowned, watching and waiting for whatever it was Rajesh had seemed eager to show her.
“Let’s set sail!” Rajesh called. He raised his arm, finger pointed ahead. “Full sands ahead, before the drakion attack!”
The woman standing at the mast held her hands up again. Leela focused on her, watching her shadows waver with the Green Peacock, and realized the rest of the crew all had different shadows too. Some had Bulls, others had Hawks, others had Flames with multiple mortals housing the same animals.
“You ready?” Rajesh asked.
Leela glanced around, unsure of what she was meant to be ready for. She shifted under his gaze as his lips twitched with the familiar look that meant he was up to something.
The ship lurched forward, and those who weren’t prepared, like Leela, faltered backward. She grabbed the railing and steadied herself, pulling herself closer to the darkness.
Leela gasped as the ship floated, heaving a mighty groan as it soared and hoisted off into the navy-whipped skies.
She peeked over the side of the ship and regretted it when her stomach churned and dizziness washed over her.
Crouching, she sucked in a breath and told herself to hold steady.
It would be over soon. She would touch land once more.
They took flight as a horde of drakion careened across the dunes like a wave of dark shadows. Their howls ripped at the night sky, teeth and claws gleaming underneath the moonslight.
Thank the Flames.
Thank us, indeed. Did you ask where we were headed, mortal?
No. I didn’t get that far.
Because you are too focused on these feelings you have for him.
Her chest wrenched. I have no feelings. Not for a man who told me he couldn’t love me.
The Viperess hissed with a low chuckle.
Leela watched Rajesh take the wheel, steering them through the skies. Wind whipped at his hair behind his face, flickering like the coat he wore. Flecks of light danced within his eyes, and her heart skipped a beat.
No.
She couldn’t.
She was still in disbelief, like the last few minutes hadn’t happened. She was clearly dreaming. Rajesh had actually died at the base of the dunes, and he was taking her into the above bliss.
This is very real, mortal. Best get used to it.
Leela rubbed her arm. She didn’t know which she’d rather—reality or death.
For now, the chaos had settled, and Leela relished in the fact that she was heading somewhere safer.
At least, she hoped it was.