14. Leela #2
Rajesh’s jaw ticked, gaze steady on hers. “Despite our circumstances, Leela. I don’t hate you.”
She scoffed again. “Then get that disgusted look off your face.”
His lips twitched. “Still the same woman, huh?”
Heat ran up her spine. “What does that mean?”
“It means you haven’t changed.”
“I have. I’m… stronger. Wiser, or whatever.”
“Still having nightmares?”
“Don’t you?” she snapped. “That night was chaotic. It was chaos! I lost everyone and everything I knew and loved. Do you know what trauma does to a body?”
Rajesh held her gaze. “I am more than aware.”
“It lingers. With everything. For continuous generations, sometimes. You can’t escape it, it’s like a curse. Like it’s stuck inside my marrow and now transporting the trauma and affecting everything I do.”
Rajesh merely sat there. Like the times when it was just them, and all Leela did was talk, and he listened.
“I have changed,” she mumbled, tone softer. “Internally. Externally. Doesn’t matter. Trauma hits everyone differently.”
“I know.”
Leela racked her brain for why Rajesh was still here. Why was he sitting there, looking at her with a small curl hiding the innocent looks they used to share? Why wasn’t he leaving?
“Can you go, please? I don’t need you sitting there looking at me as if you pity me.”
He frowned. “I don’t pity you, Leela.”
She pinched the tip of her nose and huffed. “Don’t. I can’t sit here looking at you, as I relive that nightmare over and over again and have you think that I’m broken.”
“I definitely don’t think you’re broken, Leela. Of all the shitty things that have happened in our lives, I don’t think that of you.”
“Then what? Do you hate me? Because how can you hate me if you once loved me? Because I know, despite you saying what you said that night, that you did. I was there. I remember it. Don’t you?”
The question slipped from her lips before she had the chance to take it back. But it had been the question bubbling on her tongue for years, and now finally had Rajesh to answer.
Rajesh lifted his eyes to the ceiling.
“Evading me again.” Leela stood, dusting off the sand stuck to her sweaty skin. She peered down her nose at him. “You need to leave. Before I—”
“I wanted to tell you,” Rajesh said, cutting her off. He met her gaze as he stood, blocking her only exit.
Leela shuffled and wished she had a weapon. Something, in case the words coming out of his mouth would make her want to strike him.
It would be my pleasure.
The thought stilled as soon as the Viperess tuned in.
“I wanted to tell you, Leela. But how could I when….” Rajesh shut his eyes, biting his lip.
Lips… the lips she used to suck on. The lips that used to whisper dirty things in her ear.
Rajesh heaved a sigh. “I wanted to tell you. Before the attack, my mother told me about our generational curse. The one where my bloodline is tied to the Purple Scorpion. And, well, the Scorpion only picks one person every generation in my family to curse, and this time that was me.”
Every muscle in Leela grew tight. She stared at him, soaking in the words. Curse? Generation?
“Does that explain why you never had the Scorpion when I met you?”
He nodded. “Correct. When father died of an illness, I harnessed the Scorpion.”
“And it kept you alive…” Leela said her thoughts out loud.
“Say again?” he arched a brow.
“I saw you at the bottom of the dune. I pressed my ear against your chest, and you were… dead,” she said.
Something crossed his eyes, something she couldn’t quite determine.
“Oh… Well, maybe, yes.” Rajesh cleared his throat.
“The generational curse has been around since the sandstorms appeared. The Scorpion was the first Flame and harnessed my bloodline three centuries ago. Every year since, it’s our blood that the Scorpion feels comfortable with, and so, well, we harness it. ”
“What happens with it? You just have him?”
“I wish that was it,” Rajesh said, with a nervous chuckle. He rubbed the back of his neck, the small curl of his smile reminding Leela of his personality she hadn’t seen in the last few days. “What I’m about to tell you can’t leave this room. Got it?”
Leela’s stomach knotted. “Okay, now you’re scaring me.”
Rajesh stepped closer. “I’m telling you because I wanted to say it the night of the attack before you ran out of the hut.
Because I can’t tell anyone but my family.
People know about the Scorpion and the tale with the Viperess, but what they don’t know about is the curse and how it has connections to the sandstorms and the types of monsters it makes. ”
What is he talking about?
Leela was too stunned to answer the Viperess. What the fuck was he talking about?
“If I tell you, it has to stay between us,” Rajesh urged, holding her gaze with determination. “Can I trust you, Leela?”
Trust. It was a fickle thing. A foolish thing.
One Rajesh had broken that night. How could she ever trust him with her heart again?
But there was a silent desperation in his words, and she couldn’t sit by and let him suffer alone.
Despite it all, she still had some feelings for the man who broke her heart.
“I don’t understand,” Leela said. “What is wrong?”
Rajesh bit his lip.
The candlelight flickered, his shadow of the scorpion against the wall, and she edged backward. Its pinchers were thick and ready to attack, the stinger curled.
She wondered what the Viperess looked like behind her, possibly still and eager to attack.
“Do you promise?” Rajesh’s desperation drowned his eyes.
“Sure,” Leela said. She wasn’t too sure, but it was what he needed to hear, and she needed to know what he had to say. She stepped closer. “I have trusted you always.”
Rajesh sighed in relief. He tapped his thigh, sucked in a breath, and finally landed his haunted gaze on Leela’s.
“The sandstorm curse is tied to our bloodline, and with the curse, it is tied to our emotions. If our emotions aren’t in control, the sandstorm will churn out monsters based on what we’re feeling. Based on certain emotions.”
Leela struggled to comprehend the words. How could that even be possible? The Scorpion was the reason they had certain types of monsters? Because of him and how Rajesh felt, the monsters were spilling into the world?
“I don’t understand. How is that possible? And what does this have to do with me trusting you?”
“Because if people figure out my curse is the reason for the monster-churning sandstorm, what do you think they’d do to me? To my family?”
They would destroy him. Rip him limb from limb.
Leela understood why anyone would want to destroy the people who ruined their lives. Fuck, she would ruin him. It was because of him that she didn’t have her village or her family anymore. He was the reason the mortal world was trapped under the rule of monsters.
Realization made her knees buckle, and Leela caught herself against the wall to hold herself steady.
The Viperess chuckled slowly and cunning.
Leela braced for the answer to her next question. If his emotions were tied to the sandstorms, then this had to do with her. “What are you saying?”
Rajesh sucked in a big breath. “Because I loved you and my heart broke, I created the lustisha.”
Flashes of the night tore through her vision, pulling her under and over in heavy waves. Nausea rolled in her gut, and Leela tried to control her breath. But it was too much. The information split her apart, breaking her mind into pieces.
He said he loved her…
Then he didn’t…
All because…
Oh…
“You told me you didn’t love me to push me away…” Leela said, breathless. She stared at the ground. “You told me you didn’t love me because you were worried the Scorpion would create a lustisha.”