CHAPTER SEVEN
Later that afternoon, I sat along the kitchen island, snacking on crackers and cheese and working on my lesson plan for the rest of the week.
Since today was their first day back at school, I focused on a few environmental awareness exercises so the kids could get reacquainted with the classroom after such a long break.
It was a little after five, and my date with Declan was at eight, so I had a bit more time to relax before I had to start getting ready.
Excitement bubbled up inside me, and I grabbed for my phone and started scrolling through Pinterest for ideas on what to wear for a dinner date.
The last time I’d gone on a dinner date for the first time, it was with Seth. And that was after months of quick, informal coffee dates before he decided I was worthy enough for a real date.
God, how had I not seen the red flags for what they were?
I shook my head, trying to shake off the bitter memories of my time with Seth.
Declan was different. There was something about him that oozed honesty at his core, despite the whole ‘not mentioning his sister’ incident.
In hindsight, I understood where he was coming from with his line of thinking.
I was an only child and had no idea what it was like to have a sibling.
But I suppose if I had to share my identity and my entire existence with another person for the rest of our lives, or until one of us died, I’d feel some type of way too.
A little while later, I was packing up my notebooks and laptop and stuffing them back into my messenger bag, when the front door opened and Seth and Lacey walked in.
I sighed.
With all the excitement of the day, I’d honestly forgotten that Lacey had ‘temporarily’ moved in.
Heck, I even forgot to tell Seth about my date.
Which was another rule in our open marriage.
And while the specifics weren’t required, if we did intend to see other people and eventually start sleeping with them, we had to tell each other first. Though I didn’t see the point in it.
Seth and I weren’t intimate anymore. And even if he wanted to, I didn’t.
I wasn’t attracted to my husband anymore.
The attraction I had for him died right around the same time my feelings for him did.
I wasn’t sad to say I felt absolutely nothing for him.
Whatever minuscule hope I had of us getting back to where we were before his ultimatum died when he offered my office space to his mistress. However, temporary.
Though if I were being honest, deep down, I knew it wouldn’t be temporary.
Maybe this was part of his larger plan to push me out.
Either way, I was going to get my shit together and get the hell out of his house.
And the moment I was free of him, I would be filing for a divorce.
For now, though, I could play the supportive wife.
“Oh, hey, babe,” Seth said excitedly, closing the door behind him. “Don’t worry about making dinner tonight. Lacey and I already made plans.”
The nerve of this mother—
I cleared my throat. “About that. I meant to text you earlier, but I got caught up in the back-to-school frenzy. I’m having dinner tonight with a friend.”
Seth froze, the hand he was tracing up Lacey’s skirt going still.
He swung his gaze in my direction, fixing me with a confused look.
Then he swatted Lacey on the ass, encouraging her to go upstairs.
And like the well-trained mutt that she was, she obeyed, flashing me an irritated look before disappearing to the second floor.
Seth strolled lazily over to the kitchen island, stopping a few feet away from me, his hands tucked in his pockets.
He was dressed in his usual business attire, a navy blue suit that complemented his tanned olive skin beautifully, as evidenced by his Hispanic roots. And while Seth was an attractive man who typically wore a relaxed expression, there was a blankness to his face that was strangely foreign to me.
I’d never had a reason to be scared of Seth before, and I wasn’t. But something in his stance made me uneasy.
“Dinner?” he asked quietly. “As in, a date?”
Pride surged through me, and I lifted my chin a little higher. “Yes.”
“Since when do you go on dates?”
I didn’t miss the scoff in his tone.
Irritation prickled at me. “Since someone asked me out.”
He nodded. “And do I know this someone?”
Was he being serious right now?
“Questions like that aren’t a part of the deal, Seth,” I reminded him. “You were the one who laid out the rules, remember? Plus, I doubt you’d know him, anyway.”
He nodded again, chewing on the corner of his bottom lip; a nervous habit I’d noticed from our earlier days in college. “And where is this date happening?”
Okay, now see, that wasn’t fair.
Technically, the rules we’d agreed upon didn’t say anything about the location of these dates, and that was poor planning on my part.
Because I didn’t want to know where Seth was taking these women.
Knowing would have driven me insane. Especially if he was taking them to the places we’d once frequented.
That, and I never intended to participate in this open marriage. The plan was to let Seth do whatever the hell he wanted while I focused on my writing career and subsequent freedom from this relationship.
Then I met Declan. And damn it, I wanted to know what it felt like to be courted by him. I was lonely. Wasn’t I at least allowed a friend?
“I’m not sure,” I lied. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
Declan and I had already agreed on the restaurant, but I’d be damned if I said anything more than Seth needed to know.
“Hmm,” he hummed, studying my face intently, then he leaned forward and let out a bark of laughter. “Are you serious? A date? You? Someone wants to date you?” he exclaimed between bouts of laughter.
My face grew hot with embarrassment, and my throat was so tight, I struggled to swallow.
Then an image of Declan and me in that bar bathroom flashed inside my mind—the urgent desire in his voice and my desperate pleas for him to touch me, kiss me, make me come.
And now I was pissed, embarrassment quickly morphing into anger.
How dare he? How dare he?
“Just because you don’t want to date me doesn’t mean someone else won’t want to,” I said arrogantly.
He scoffed. “Oh, come on, Melodie. I can’t believe you made up a whole story about having a date because you’re still mad at me for letting Lacey borrow your office space.”
The reminder made me even angrier, and I pictured myself punching him square in the nose. I could practically taste the pleasure of my imagined retribution. I bet his nose would be broken, too.
“Did you hear me?” Seth asked, breaking me out of my bruised-nose fantasy.
“What?” I asked.
He frowned, looking irritated now. “I said it’s Monday.
Who has a date on a Monday night, don’t you have work in the morning?
You’ll be too tired to teach. You teach little kids, Melodie.
They need all your attention. You can’t just show up for work tired and irritable because you were up all night.
You’re cultivating young minds here. How does this decision affect them? ”
What the—
Oh, my God.
He was gaslighting me. He was openly gaslighting me. To my face.
I opened my mouth to tear him a new one when I noticed the smirk he was trying to hide. He was baiting me. He was actively trying to antagonize me and get me all worked up. And for what? This was what he wanted. This open marriage was his idea.
No, I was not going to let this overgrown man-child get the better of me.
I reminded myself to play the understanding wife.
“You’re right,” I said softly, sweetly, trying my hardest to moderate my tone so as not to give anything away.
I didn’t want him to know that I was on to him.
So I played along. “I’ll be very careful.
I won’t drink too much or stay out too late.
I know you worry about me, so I’ll do my best to get out of there at a respectable hour.
That way, I can get enough rest before work in the morning. ”
The smirk slipped right off his lips, and his expression grew blank again.
I could tell my reaction wasn’t what he was hoping for, and now he was mentally scrambling for a response.
“Oh,” he said eventually. “Well—”
“How was work?” I asked sweetly, cutting him off before he could come up with another manipulation tactic. “You’re home early. Did something happen? You’re not usually home until much later.”
That did it.
His muscles relaxed, and he sighed, dragging a hand down his face.
“My boss is driving me up the fucking wall,” he raged.
“He keeps finding problems with my work. Now, I have to double and triple-check my numbers. It’s frustrating.
I’m the company’s Executive Accountant. I know what I’m doing.
Talking about ‘your numbers aren’t adding up, Mr. Torres’,” he mocked in an overly exaggerated tone.
Then he exhaled, the wind going out of his sails.
“God, I hate the fucker so much. Plus, I’m ninety-five percent sure he’s involved with the mafia.
There’s something about him that’s just…
off. The man’s a billionaire, and looking at him, you’d never know it. ”
I was confused. “So, because he doesn’t look like your typical billionaire—” which was basically anyone who looked and acted like Seth, despite the fact that Seth was nowhere near billionaire status, “—he’s a mobster?”
“What? No.” He flashed me an irritated look. “The dude has businesses all over. And he keeps funneling money into them, but no money is coming out. At least none that I can see. I’m his accountant. I should be able to track his finances, but I can’t. That screams mob dealings if you ask me.”
I sighed inwardly.
Seth was always looking for hidden agendas in everything, even at his job. It was this same way of thinking that got him fired from his last job. He’d only been with this recent company for about two years now, but it looked like that would be coming to an end soon.
“So he gave you the rest of the day off to relax and cool off?” I asked, still confused about the whole mafia conspiracy, but decided I didn’t have the brain space for it.
“He didn’t give me anything. I walked out and took my assistant with me. That place is nothing without me. I took the rest of the day off on my own accord.”
“Right.”
His dark eyes narrowed as he squinted at me.
“I mean,” I rushed out, feigning a smile, “that’s good. You’re an executive. I suppose you are allowed to do that.” I felt sick stroking his ego like this, but I’d do damn near anything to see Declan tonight, including tolerating my husband’s self-importance.
“Daddy,” a shrill, high-pitched voice said from behind me.
I turned to watch Lacey strolling into the kitchen in barely-there lingerie that she tried—and failed—to cover with a fluffy pink robe.
“You said you’d only be a minute,” she continued, saddling up to Seth, practically humping his leg.
I wanted to throw up. Not because of the spectacle happening in front of me—okay, maybe a little because of that—but mostly because she was wearing my lingerie. It was the one Seth had gifted me for our first wedding anniversary.
The nerve of her.
The nerve of him.
Seething at the disrespect, I grabbed my bag and silently made my way out of the kitchen.
But not before I heard Seth ask, “Where did you get that?”
“In the closet, silly,” Lacey answered sweetly. “Where else? You told me I could wear anything in there I wanted.”
“Yes, but not this. Jesus, Lace. Where’s the set I bought you on our way home?”
“I tried it on, but I didn’t like how it made my ass look flat. This one is much better, don’t you think?”
Seth whispered something angrily at her, but at that point, I had rounded the corner and was out of earshot as I made my way down the hall to my room.
I’d realized, pretty quickly after his ultimatum, that I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with him. I didn’t want to put up with him coming into our bedroom smelling like other women’s perfume.
Besides, we weren’t intimate, so we had no reason to share a bed. Just the thought of him touching me intimately made me want to throw up everything I’d eaten in the last six years.
So, I’d moved the bulk of my important items to the guest room downstairs, which also currently served as my bedroom. I also took all of my functional clothing items, including work garments, casual and formal outfits, and the blanket my mom had knitted for me as a college graduation gift.
What I didn’t pack, however, were my lingerie sets and other sexually explicit garments that Seth had gifted me over the years. And I was glad I didn’t. Seth wasn’t mine to please anymore, and I didn’t want to keep the accessories he’d bought me for his sexual pleasure.
Six months ago, I’d vowed to myself to make Seth fall in love with me again. How na?ve I was. Now, I didn’t even want him looking at me too closely, let alone loving me. Plus, I’d already experienced his brand of ‘love’, and ten out of ten, would not recommend.
What I would recommend, however, is trying something new. And for me, that something new was Declan.
My heart sped up at the mere memory of him.
The way he’d touched and petted me that night in the restroom. The way he kissed and licked at my lips like I was the only person he ever wanted to kiss. The way he looked at me. The way he said my name.
And at that moment, I made a new vow to myself.
Whether Declan and I dated long-term or not, I was going to start putting myself out there again and seeing what the world had to offer.
Seth was my first real boyfriend. My only boyfriend, as a matter of fact. I’d always known I’d settled for him. Mainly because, at the time, we shared similar goals and aspirations, and he was kind to me. And as time passed, I grew to love him.
But just as I grew to love him, I could grow to love someone else.
Perhaps fate would be kinder next time around, and instead of a slow trickle, I would fall madly—head over heels—in love with the next person.
Because that was the kind of love I wanted, powerful and all-consuming, like a spontaneous thunderstorm in the middle of a sun-bright afternoon.
The kind where just by looking at you, people would know you were loved.
I wanted a love that was bold and infectious, like spring in the early mornings and autumn in the late evenings.
Where everything stayed fresh and new, while also somehow managing to maintain that cozy, lived-in feel that held your soul in repose.
That was the kind of love I yearned for—the one I deserved.
My mind flashed to Declan again, and my racing heart settled, relaxing into a more anticipatory pace.
I couldn’t wait to see him again.