Chapter Fourteen
Tracking Bronwyn down in Paris wasn’t a cakewalk. Ramsay had called their mother to see if she had the hotel name, at least, but that hadn’t panned out. Mother was only interested in discussing her own current beau, so he kept having to remind her that he wanted to talk about Bronwyn. At one point he considered putting the phone down and walking away to see if she’d even notice. She’d had Bron’s company name, at least, and he’d called California to see if her employer had the information.
Only when he’d explained to the secretary that he’d been watching Bron’s boy, and that they’d expected her back weeks ago, had she finally relented. Bronwyn was still somewhere in France with some guy named Charles. Things had gotten complicated there and the secretary, Adrienne, wasn’t sure when they were expected back. She offered to pass along a message.
Another few weeks passed. He and Adrienne became phone buddies. Apparently she wasn’t allowed to disclose where Bronwyn was, but she assured Ramsay she was getting his messages.
He and Saya had become pathological liars, feeding Spider platitudes about how she was probably busy and didn’t have time to call.
The only person who wasn’t upset was Spider. He played with them, ate fruit, enjoyed outings to the park, story time, visits to Mack and Winter’s, and got lots of cuddles from Auntie and Uncle.
They got him into a co-op preschool around the time they moved to take over the upstairs apartment. Ramsay had to sweet talk the moms because they were worried about them not having legal custody of the boy.
When Spider turned four they threw him a party at the tiny bowling alley in Cobalt Harbor. No gift came for him in the mail, although with all of the other presents he received, he didn’t seem to notice. The phone didn’t ring.
*
“Your website kicks ass!” Luther grinned when they walked in the door at Sprawl. “It’s about time.”
“The logo is perfect.” Law slapped Mack on the back. “Good job, old man.”
Ramsay had thought the green monster wearing a fetish collar was a little much, but he’d been outvoted. The lettering was creepy too, but at least it didn’t have a dangling eyeball. He was afraid it would scare Spider, but the boy had just laughed and said it was gross. Winter had been teaching him “words metalheads need to know.” She’d managed to keep it Rated G.
“Can you play a full set? The Cannibal Death Hippos called to say they were having trouble with their van, so they can’t make it in, but I’m guessing it was more that they didn’t want you guys upstaging them again.”
“Sure,” Ramsay said, not looking at the others. They had enough music, it was just a matter of calling Uncle Donny and Aunt Emma to let them know they’d be later than expected. To let Spider know, really. He still didn’t like it when they left, and sometimes panicked and thought they wouldn’t come back for him.
Fucking Bronwyn. They’d finally contacted a lawyer and child services the day before. Enough was enough.
“We’re expecting a full house tonight. You haven’t played in a couple of weeks and people have been calling to nag at us. If you ever go on tour we might have a riot on our hands.” Law shook his head. “It’s a good thing you bring in money or I might resent being your unpaid answering service.”
Luther pointed at a bunch of big guys sitting at a table playing cards. “Hired extra security to keep Little Red safe. We’ll make sure no one interrupts your teambuilding activities in the green room, too.”
“Uh huh.” Winter raised a brow. “Now tell me there aren’t new security cameras in there.”
“Mmm... I tried talking Law into it, but he got all moral on me. Bastard.” He winked at Winter. “Anytime you want someone sweet and sensual in bed, instead of the rough stuff, you give me a call, gorgeous.”
Winter cackled before Ramsay or Mack could intervene. “I already have sweet and sensual in my bed. She’s prettier than you.”
“Oh jeez!” Saya grabbed Winter’s arm and towed her off toward the green room.
“I’m not convinced.” Law frowned, as though considering the matter seriously. “I think she meant Mack.”
Ramsay bit his lips together to stop himself. There was nothing sweet about the way Mack was with Winter when they had sex, but that wasn’t his information to share. Ramsay and Mack exchanged glances and burst out laughing, then walked after the women.
In the green room, they stripped Saya naked, telling her they were going to help her into her costume.
“Yeah, whatever. You know I’m not nervous on stage much anymore. You don’t need to do this.” She tried to get away but six hands stopped her, held her still, put her on her hands and knees on the couch after spreading a blanket they brought just for this. Some people might have called it premeditated.
They ganged up on her – pinching, prodding, tickling.
“Stop, stop! There’s too many hands. Please do things to each other and leave me alone? Please, Master, make them stop.” She knelt up, her hands clasped in mock supplication.
“Fine. Everyone up.” They got to their feet and Ramsay pulled the blanket onto the floor, spreading it out like he was planning a picnic. “Saya, kneel there.” He pointed to the center of the blanket and she complied. “Mack and Winter, clothes off.”
“What?” Mack stood there, looking stunned.
Winter glared. “Fuck you.”
Ramsay sighed. “How did I know you’d say that, Winter? Now, you can either do it, or I can help you do it. Which do you think will be less embarrassing?”
“Cocksucker.” She glared at him and undressed, her movements jerky. There was a moment of shock when he realized he wouldn’t have to force her, but he hid his surprise by turning to Mack.
“Did I sound insincere, bitchboy? Either cooperate or I’ll call Law and Luther in here and get them to hold you down while I undress you myself. Your call.”
Mack swore under his breath and got undressed slowly, every moment of agonized hesitation making Ramsay’s cock harder. The girls stared at Mack as he stripped, probably adding to the feeling of being exposed.
As he stepped out of his jeans, Winter catcalled him. “No underwear, Mack? You hussy!”
“Fuck, Winter. Shut up.” Color stained his cheeks and his cock stood at attention.
“Kneel beside Saya.” Ramsay’s dick was just as hard as Mack’s. He surveyed the three of them coolly, doing his best to feign disinterest as he tried to decide what to do next. They were his – three submissives. Crazy. The entire truth of it hadn’t hit him until that moment. A lot of dommy guys went through their lives married to vanilla girls and contented themselves with that. He’d always counted himself lucky to have met Saya. It was like a miracle, meeting her when they’d been in high school. If it had ever occurred to him that he wanted a second submissive, he would have gone to some munches or hung out more on FetLife. Answering an ad about a band that needed a drummer should never have turned out this way, but he wasn’t about to complain.
So one was a guy. It was unexpected, considering he was straight, but it was interesting.
They all watched him. Mack and Winter didn’t have very good form when it came to kneeling, but that was easily taught.
People seemed to think that being the Dom was the easy job, but really, sometimes, not having to think so hard sounded good. Being bossed around by someone else in bed, though, didn’t appeal to him at all.
He considered various scenarios, including fucking Mack’s ass, but he hadn’t thought to bring lube. Going without sounded uncomfortable. Instead, he undressed too and walked to stand in the middle of the blanket, in front of Saya.
“Suck.”
She kneeled up immediately, enveloping his cock with her mouth. The pleasure she gave made him groan. When she leaned back to slide to the tip again, he looked at the other two, who were watching.
“Are the two of you on vacation or something?”
Mack crawled to him and tentatively ran his tongue over the length of his dick while Saya concentrated on playing with the tip. Winter sat back on her heels, displeased. When Ramsay snapped his fingers at her and frowned, she looked mutinous.
Before she could back away he grabbed her by the back of the hair and dragged her over.
“What happens to bad girls, Winter?”
Her eyes rolled back and she groaned. “They get punished, Sir.”
“I think you like being punished too much, my little masochist, but right now you need to suck cock with the others. When I give you an order, you’d better comply unless you have a damn good reason not to. Don’t forget that I have no problem telling Mack to punish you for me. He knows you well enough to do it effectively, considering how much practice he’s had with it.”
She didn’t comply, so he yanked her hair harder and gave her a little shake.
“Is this going to get ugly?”
“You’re already pretty fucking ugly.”
He frowned at her, his lip curling. “Are you sure that’s what you meant to say?” he growled.
Winter rolled her eyes and sighed. “No, Sir.”
Ramsay coaxed her forward and she stuck out her tongue unenthusiastically, licking from the base of his cock to the tip, where she got sidetracked kissing Saya. Their tongues darted over him when he got in their way. Winter lured Saya further down his cock, and got Mack involved in the kissing war. Hands strayed, and they started to touch each other, and him. He opened his mouth to reprimand them for not following rules, but the sensuality of it, of being the center of their attention when they were playing together and turning each other on, was too hot to complain about.
Mack slid down and ran his tongue over Ramsay’s balls while the girls’ mouths fought over who would get the head. Their grunts, quiet moans, the wet sound of them sucking on him, tongues flicking and rolling, licking and tasting.
For a while he survived by deep breathing, by thinking of anything other than the three people trying hard to make his dick detonate. Eventually, though, as he talked himself back from the edge the fourth or fifth time, he knew he was at the end of his restraint.
Eyes closed, he grabbed for the hair of whichever sub was currently in charge of his pleasure. He wedged his cock in as far as they could take him. Tongues above and below urged him on, drove him higher, pushed him over the edge. He came hard, the pleasure and relief rushing through him with a surge of endorphins. His knees buckled and for a moment he worried he’d fall on them. She was gagging, choking, trying to keep up. Ramsay let her go, looked down, and realized it was Winter just as another stream of come splattered across her face and into her hair.
“Ugh!”
Mack took over where his girlfriend had left off, finishing the job and cleaning him when Ramsay finally gave up and lay down. Winter was looking around, doubtlessly for something to wipe off with. Saya laughed and hugged her, and with one long, hot lick, cleaned the errant spray from Winter’s face.
“There’s not much I can do for your hair, unfortunately.” Saya grabbed the t-shirt she’d worn to the bar and wiped at Winter’s hair with the inside of it. “At least your hair is white. It’s supposed to go in your mouth, silly. Otherwise there’s a mess to clean up.”
“I don’t swallow,” Winter said, disgusted.
Ramsay frowned. “You do now.”
“She’s just stating a fact. Swallowing was one of her hard limits.” Mack looked pained.
“When we talked about her limits, you never mentioned that.”
“Sorry, Ramsay. I thought I got them all, but maybe you should go over them with her, just to be safe. I might have forgotten something else that’s important.”
“No! Jeez! I told you people I’m not talking about that. Those lists give me the willies.” Winter waved a dismissive hand then hugged herself.
“Ohhh, shit.” Ramsay winced then went to Winter, pulling her into his arms. “I wish I would have known.”
She sat in his lap and looked up at him. “Are you trying to say that if you’d known, you would have given me a courtesy tap or something?”
“Of course! Saya and Mack are both available to help me out, and even if they weren’t, I’d never force you to do something on your hard limit list.”
“Well...” She heaved a little. “I guess in the scheme of things, it wasn’t that bad. I almost lost my dinner, but I’m better now. Most subs swallow though, right?”
“It depends on the submissive. There’s no rule book saying that you have to do certain things. It’s up to us to negotiate.” He stroked her hair, avoiding the damp patch. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
“Anything?”
He sighed dramatically. “That’s what I said.”
“One of these days, I want you to suck Mack’s cock.”
*
Sweat poured off of him. It trailed, stinging, into his eyes and he mopped his brow with a towel between songs. There was no way in hell he was going to start wearing a headband.
Luther had come to them before they went on, ecstatic they had filled Sprawl to capacity, but it made it hot as fucking Hades on stage. Three of them had stripped down as far as they could go – he and Mack were shirtless, and Winter was down to a bra and jeans. During break she’d gone looking for electrical tape to cover her nipples, but as soon as Mack had helped her put on the taped x’s, Ramsay had gone uber Dom on her ass and made her put the bra back on. His subs all got ogled far too much, as far as he was concerned. Sending them out unmarked pained him. Fantasies of heavy chains around their necks held shut with padlocks led to more concrete plans to get his ass to a hardware store before their next gig. It was either that or the widest leather collars with spikes that he could find. Maybe even with tags that labeled them as his.
Sometimes they made him feel like a greedy two-year-old with new toys.
Mine, mine, mine.
Maybe writing his name on them in indelible marker would be enough to calm this claiming urge that twisted in his guts. Crazed obsession didn’t hold a candle to how he felt. He’d owned Saya for so long that he’d forgotten this stage, the all-consuming need to let people know that for their own safety, they’d best move along. With three it was exponentially more difficult. There were so many of them to keep track of – so many people who wanted to take them off of his hands. He felt like if his attention wandered for a moment, if he paid too much attention to one over the others, that he’d lose them all. He had to work on trusting them not to run off, although the bond they shared wasn’t written in stone. Either they’d stay or they wouldn’t.
It wasn’t just sexual obsession anymore. He watched them owning the stage. They might be his submissives, but they weren’t in need of paternalistic guidance from him. It wasn’t a father figure dynamic that he had with them. The group of them, as a whole, just felt right. On nights when they didn’t hang out together, he felt the void.
But the Winter and Spider thing was messing that up. There had to be a way to fix it.
Mack led them into the next song and Ramsay caught up in about half a beat. Getting lost in his thoughts on stage didn’t happen often, and he had to make sure it didn’t become a habit.
Watching his band mates, half naked, their skin glistening with sweat. Screaming. The wailing of guitars. An on stage orgy for the entertainment of the masses. Mack strode past, headed for the other side of the stage, the epitome of confident virility. Wide shoulders veed down to a narrow waist, firm hips, a gorgeous ass. He’d given up trying not to check out Mack’s ass. As a straight guy who’d had his dick in that ass several times, he felt that he’d earned the right.
Ramsay played hard, the rhythm taking over his hands, violently rolling, staccato, then a beat that made him want to lay a beating on someone or fuck them until they pleaded for mercy. Winter stood off to the side, starting to get comfortable moving around her corner of the stage, looking like she was too fucking cool to be there with them. There was no softness about her on stage, no indication that she was anything but all metal, all the time.
The sheen down her spine made him want to lick her there, to hold her still and tease her. Watch Mack tie her and listen to the noise he drew forth. More than anything he loved to spank her, watching the tough girl melt away under his hands, succumbing to his dominance more easily every time it happened. She fought hard, but when he flicked that switch in her brain, she was his, soul stripped bare.
He smirked. The Ice Queen had come in her hair. Performing in front of several hundred people.
His come.
Mine .
The pit was going crazy. There was a pile-up of people in the front and the security guards at the edge of the stage moved forward to make sure no one was getting crushed. A quick scan of the crowd showed several people mouthing the words along with Mack. That they were liked enough for people to memorize lyrics was fucking mind-blowing.
Saya swayed in front of them all, looking succulent and vulnerable. Innocent, yet as much a front person for the band as Mack. Her command of the stage was more subtle, but no less powerful. Just when he’d thought that he’d gotten his infatuation with her under control, some new facet of her personality showed itself, amazing him, and making him want her all the more. If anything, their relationship with the other two had made him take her less for granted.
She undulated across the stage, her bellydance movements now commonplace during their shows. The fans loved it, but Ramsay loved it more because it reminded him of when she danced naked for him when they were alone.
He was hers as much as she was his. He was well and ecstatically ensnared.
As the final crash of music fell to silence and the noise of the crowd rose to fill it, Ramsay stalked to the front of the stage, still not trusting that the guards could protect his lovers like he could.
The Kink Monsters filed off, headed for the green room. Lawson was waiting outside the door with a man Ramsay didn’t recognize. The bar owner motioned them inside, and Ramsay did a quick mental inventory of the room – they’d picked up the blanket and most of the clothes were stuffed into bags. He’d given them all orders to go on stage without underwear, but he wasn’t sure where they’d ended up...
“Guys, this is Eddie Rheal. He’s one of the organizers for Divine Gorgon’s North American tour. He heard about you through the grapevine and came out to see if you were any good.”
Divine Gorgon? Why would an organizer for one of the state’s biggest death metal bands be skulking around a dive bar in Felix to listen to them?
“Hey, good to meet you.” The wraith-like man, about twenty years their senior, shook their hands as though it was a pleasantry he was only familiar with in theory. Not a used car salesman of the metal world, then.
“Thanks for coming out.” Mack’s sinister charm slid to the fore, and Ramsay mentally sat back to watch. “You’re not one of the regulars here.”
“No, I actually had to put the address in my GPS to find the place. It’s a shame, because this place reminds me of how things used to be, before Divine Gorgon got big.” He nodded at Luther as he entered the room. “These gentleman know their shit.”
Luther handed him one of the beers he’d been carrying, and the guy accepted gratefully.
“Anyway, I didn’t come to fucking sightsee. The opening band that Divine Gorgon had for their tour backed out at the last minute. Their front man’s wife is newly pregnant and he decided he couldn’t miss that whole thing.” Eddie took a chug of his beer, then checked out the label. Sprawl carried a lot of micro-brewery stock. “The band is recording right now, so they don’t have time to dick around looking for a replacement. They sent me scouting. I’d heard about you from my kids – they saw the fight video, but really liked your sound. When I found out there were a bunch of fan recordings up on YouTube, I watched them, then showed them to the guys. They sent me with an offer.”
Ramsay looked at the others. Divine Gorgon wasn’t exactly a household name, but they were big enough to get his attention. A tour this soon? It had never crossed his mind, but this was the kind of opportunity they needed if they were going to get anywhere with the band. Every step counted – even fronting for another band. It was exposure.
The other three looked deep in thought.
“When does this tour start? How long does it last?” Saya was the first to jump in. She unclasped her short red cloak and threw it on one of their duffle bags.
“We start off in New York in two weeks. There are about two or three shows a week booked for the next six months, and we have dates all over the States and a few in Canada. All of the details are here.” Eddie held out a manila envelope and Mack accepted it from him.
“Obviously, the band needs to discuss it before we get back to you.” Winter gave him her mid-level Ice Queen glower.
Luther went back to the bar to grab a pitcher and Law sent a staff member for chairs. They sat around shooting the shit with the guy for a while. He was decent to talk to, as they discussed musical influences, concert details and contract information. Ramsay was pleased that he seemed to respect them.
After about an hour, he took his leave, and Law and Luther split to help their staff close up for the night.
“Well that was fucking wicked.” Mack grinned, his cool facade having dissolved as soon as the band was alone.
Saya smiled back. “Even if we decide not to do it, it’s a huge compliment. He saw us on YouTube and came hunting for us. I mean, they could have just called, but he came in person.”
“He probably wanted to see if we were any good,” Winter said. “It wouldn’t do for him to call and make us an offer then find out you two were lip synching or something.” She pulled Saya in for a kiss and the two of them got lost in each other almost immediately.
“Decide not to do it?” Mack asked, going back to what Saya had said. “Considering what the offer is, we’d be idiots not to accept. Your uncle will give you the time off work to go, won’t he, Ramsay? Cross would never deny Winter this kind of opportunity, and my work is portable.”
Saya broke away from Winter’s lips and groaned at the interruption she, herself, had just imposed on their activities. “We have other things to think about too now. We just sent the authorities looking for Bronwyn. If she doesn’t cooperate, we’re going to end up getting temporary custody of Spider. He just started in preschool and I’m not about to drag him all over hell’s half acre already. He needs some stability.”
Winter frowned. “So ask Emma if she and Donny will watch him for a few months. We can’t miss out on this kind of opportunity because Ramsay’s sister is a crappy parent.” Winter had let go of Saya, anger making the lines of her body stiff. She grabbed the t-shirt she’d discarded earlier in the evening and pulled it on.
“He’s our responsibility,” Ramsay objected. “We’re not going to pawn him off on some other family member. The poor kid is screwed up enough already – he doesn’t need us abandoning him, too. He doesn’t understand the concept of ‘a while.’ Even when we have a gig and we’re gone for a few hours, he starts to panic.”
Winter turned away and stuffed some things into her bag. “This was exactly what I talked to you guys about. If you weren’t serious about getting this band off the ground, you should never have answered the fucking ad. Passing up an opportunity like this is like career suicide. We’ve been handed a good break on a silver platter and you’re going insist we turn it down?”
“Maybe you can find another drummer and backup singer, just for the tour,” Saya whispered. Tears had come and she wiped them away impatiently, although the thickness of her voice left no question about how she was feeling. Ramsay went to her and put an arm around her, but she pushed him away when he tried to hug her. “Or Ramsay can go with you and I’ll stay back with Spider.”
Ramsay was torn. On the one hand, there were no guarantees they’d ever get another chance like this. It was his life’s work, more than fixing cars had ever been, but to leave Saya behind to clean up the mess Bronwyn had made of her life wasn’t fair. To leave Saya behind, at all, was like plunging his own hand into his chest and ripping out his heart. As much as he’d grown to care for Mack and Winter, his first loyalty was to Saya. Forever.
Then there was Spider. The boy needed a parent and however it had happened, for now, that was him.
Mack gnawed on his lip. “You’re not a backup singer. Without you, I don’t think we can go forward, Saya. This band is just as much about you as it is about the rest of us now.”
“I can’t see any way to make this work. I just can’t go right now.” A pall was cast over Ramsay’s hopes and plans for the future. He was going to have to let them go. Holding them back wasn’t fair. “Take Saya. I’ll stay behind and get things settled with Spider. You can replace me easily enough. I’m sure there are dozens of good drummers that’ll jump at the chance to go with you and make a name for themselves. I’m sorry I can’t drop everything and go, but the little guy deserves better than to have me take off on him.”
“I can’t go without you, Master!” Saya was sobbing and came to him to bury her face in his chest. Warm tears mixed with his dried sweat and trickled down his stomach to the damp waistband of his jeans. He was itchy and uncomfortable, and just wanted a shower.
He stroked Saya’s hair. “They need you, princess. I’ll come see you guys play sometimes, when I can book time off and get a sitter for Spider. Maybe if he settles in, I could come out for a weekend. We’ll see. And if he goes back to my sister...” His throat seized up thinking about it. “If Bronwyn takes him back, I’ll meet up with the three of you and we can give the new drummer the boot.”
Winter screamed in rage and spun, throwing a beer bottle against the far wall. It smashed into a trillion glistening shards. “This wasn’t supposed to get this fucking complicated!”
“What?” Ramsay let go of Saya and went to her cautiously, not interested in getting a bottle flung at his head. “You can still go. I’m not standing in the way of that. I’m sure Saya will see that you need her. I trust you and Mack to take care of her when I’m not around.” The last words sounded strangled, even to his own ears. He did trust them to take care of her, but the prospect of losing them all for half a year was like the longest and bleakest fucking hallway he’d ever looked down. There’d be plenty of time to bond with Spider, when he had no submissives to distract him, but it would be a lonely time. “We can Skype.”
“It’s not Saya I’m worried about, dipshit. I don’t want to be away from you for that long.”
The two of them stared at each other silently for a moment, then she came to him, wrapping her arms around him like he was floating debris after a shipwreck. His breath caught in his throat. Now she came to him with this?
Fuck . His chest ached. Admitting that she didn’t want them to be separated must have been difficult. Feelings he knew she wouldn’t approve of bubbled up. He’d been pushing that warmth and admiration down for a while. Winter wasn’t a mushy girl, and feelings seemed to freak her out, so he’d been respectful of that. But there was no question that he loved her.
“We’ll figure this out.” Mack and Saya both came over and joined them, fitting themselves in on either side, their arms sliding around to hold on, too. Mack’s lips grazed Ramsay’s jaw line.
Ramsay turned his head and kissed Mack with all the loneliness and longing building up inside him.
How did a man with so many people to love end up with no one left?