Chapter 21
chapter twenty-one
Busy
I fling my hiking bag over the edge of the truck and into the bed then hoist Junie up to stand on the bumper.
“Your turn, little miss.”
She tugs off her own small pink bag—filled with snacks and crayons and a few toys—and chucks it in next to mine and Reid’s.
“I think that’s everything,” Reid says, resting his hand on the tailgate. “Unless you want to go over your list again.”
I smirk at him. He’s been giving me shit about my list since he first saw it typed in the Notes app on my phone.
“You mock me, but just know my list has been the savior of all on more than one occasion.”
His eyebrows dip. “The savior of all?”
I shrug. “Okay, maybe not all , but it’s definitely come in clutch. Just ask Bishop about the time he ran out of toilet paper.”
Reid laughs. “I think I’ll pass on that story, but thanks.”
I get Junie set up in her car seat as Reid opens the door on the other side, allowing Sydney to hop up into the cab next to her. Then we’re climbing in as well and pulling down the gravel path out to the highway.
It’s only been a few days since our conversation about what’s going on with Reid, and things have been in this kind of limbo space. We both know we still have things to talk about, know our conversation from Tuesday night was too important not to revisit. But we are also both strangely okay with letting it breathe for a minute, like we both know we don’t need to rush it. There’s a certainty I have that we’ll come back to it once we’ve both had time to sit with…well, with everything.
And there is a lot to sit with.
Even though nothing between us is clearly defined, something has changed. I can feel it in the way he looks at me, the way he touches me. Like now, as we drive up the highway, heading out of town, his arm stretches along the back of the seat. His hand rests on the back of my neck, stroking my skin gently. It feels far less cautious and much more intimate, as if he has given himself permission.
I like it.
It takes about 30 minutes to drive to the outskirts of Belleview, which is where the midway point of the trail begins. Once we’ve parked, we tug Syd and Junie out of the car and unload all of our gear. My family left at six this morning from the base of the trail, and if we’ve timed everything correctly, they should be stopping here soon to use the bathrooms and refill their water bottles before we all continue up together.
“What did your family say when you told them I was coming?” Reid asks as he fills up his own water.
When I don’t answer, he looks at me then frowns.
“You did tell them I was coming, right?”
“There hasn’t really been time.”
His eyes narrow. “Busy. Are you serious?”
“It won’t be a big deal at all.”
“Then it shouldn’t have been a big deal to tell them.”
“Except they’d have a bunch of questions I don’t have the answers to.” I cross my arms and narrow my own eyes. “Because we haven’t finished our conversation from the other night.”
Reid tips up his chin, still giving me the stink eye. “Okay fine, that’s fair. But next time, warn me, alright? I don’t like to be unprepared.”
I gently kick his foot with mine. “Sorry.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and tugs me into his chest then presses a kiss to the crown of my head.
“I’n a hug!” Junie shouts, jogging over from where she was plucking leaves off a nearby bush.
Reid bends down and picks Junie up. “Oh, do you?” he asks, hugging her tight then twirling her around, making her shriek with laughter. Sydney barks a few times and prances around them, clearly wanting in on the action, too.
“Reid?”
I turn at the sound of his name, my entire body growing tense when I see who it is.
Sarah.
She stands completely still, her eyes evaluating Reid where he stands, holding Junie. It’s hard to miss the very visible shock painted all over her face.
“Hey, Sarah,” Reid says, his voice easy—far easier than I feel, that’s for sure. “How are you?”
“Good.” She pauses, her eyes dropping to mine for a beat before returning to his. “What are you up to? I thought you were working this weekend.”
I swallow thickly, not liking the way she says it. Or maybe not liking the fact that she thinks she knows what she’s talking about.
“We’re doing the back half of Kilroy,” he replies, lifting Junie so she’s sitting on his shoulders. “Hiking and camping overnight.”
He doesn’t address the work comment, though my mind still flitters over her words, trying to dissect them.
“We, meaning…”
“My family,” I interject. “We do it every year.”
She nods then tugs a piece of hair out of her mouth. “This is my friend Cindy. I think you guys met when we went to…”
“The Cedar Cider opening, yeah I remember,” he says, giving her a friendly nod. He pauses, his eyes connecting with mine briefly before he looks back at Sarah and Cindy. “Cindy, this is my friend Busy and her daughter Junie.”
I wave, trying to keep a friendly smile on my face, but all I can focus on is the fact that he called me his friend . Again.
Is that still all we are?
Thankfully, at that exact moment, I spot my sister and her husband emerging through the trees. I breathe a sigh of relief.
“My family is here,” I say to Reid, before I turn to Sarah and Cindy. “Nice to see you. Enjoy the rest of your hike.”
I jog over to where Briar and Andy are walking in my direction, meeting them in the middle. I fling my arms around my sister’s shoulders, and she embraces me right back.
“Hey!” she exclaims, laughing lightly. “Everything okay?”
When I don’t respond, she pulls back, a concerned look on her face, then her eyes slide past me to where Reid is still talking.
“Is that…Reid? And Sarah?”
I nod.
“Is he going on the hike with us?” Andy asks, tucking his hands into his pockets. “Because I don’t know how I feel about you two sharing a tent.”
Briar smacks him in the arm, and he chuckles.
“Everything’s fine, it’s just…weird, seeing him with Sarah.” I glance back in their direction. “I think they still talk pretty regularly.”
“I mean, does that matter?” Briar asks me. “You guys are just friends, right?”
My eyes connect with hers, and then her mouth forms a small ‘O’ as she nods.
“Gotcha. Well, he’s walking over here, so we’ll talk more about this later.”
I spin around, giving Reid a smile as he approaches, Junie still on his shoulders. A quick look at his face says he feels just as uneasy about that conversation as I did. Which is, frankly, a relief.
“Hey! Glad you’re joining us,” Andy says, sticking his hand out. “It’s been a while.”
Reid shakes it and nods. “It has. Good to see you.”
“Where is everyone else?” I ask.
“Here we are!”
I beam as the rest of my family emerges through the trees, the mass of them sweaty and dusty, but with big smiles on their faces. Along with Briar and Andy are my oldest brother, Boyd, and his wife, Ruby; my sister Bellamy and her boyfriend, Rusty; my brother Bishop and his wife, Gabi; and my parents. There is a chorus of hellos and hugs, especially with Bishop and Gabi, who just got in yesterday from North Carolina.
“Hey, Little Bee,” he says, wrapping his sweaty arms around me and giving me a good squeeze.
I grin at the nickname. “I’m surprised they let you take days off.”
“They don’t,” he replies, chuckling. Then he pulls back to look at me. “I’m not actually supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be on a plane heading to Seattle, but…” He shrugs. “I’ll be there for the game on Monday. They don’t need to know every single thing I’m doing.”
I laugh and look at his wife, Gabi, who I’ve known since we were teenagers. “I still can’t believe you put up with him.”
She raises an eyebrow and gives Bishop a once-over. “Me neither.”
They all make quick work of filling water bottles and using the bathroom while Reid and I load up our packs. Then we surround the trailhead sign and ask another hiker to take our picture before we begin making our way back over to the path.
“Just a reminder that we’ll probably be moving slower than everyone else,” I call out.
“I don’t know, Boyd’s been pretty slow so far,” Bishop says. “My money’s on him for caboose.”
Boyd wraps his arm around Bishop’s shoulders and tugs him in then gives him a quick tap in the nuts.
I roll my eyes. I guess it doesn’t matter how much older siblings get. We’re always just a bunch of kids when we’re together.
“Alright, Mitchell family. Let’s head out!”
Dad’s announcement is the indicator that it’s time to stop fucking around and get a move on, and we all fall in line behind him and begin making our way up the trail.
I’ve never been particularly active, not like Boyd or Bishop were with soccer and baseball, so long hikes like this are normally outside my comfort zone. But the thing I’ve always loved about this trek in particular is that the ascent might be long, but it isn’t crazy steep. Instead of short stretches of uphill climbs, it has long stretches of gentle incline, which is much easier on my calves that have always been on the weaker side.
It’s also one of the more scenic hikes in the Tahoe National Forest, which makes it so much more enjoyable. Creeks and streams that lead into the lake down below pepper the landscape, and there are at least a half dozen outlooks that showcase the entire valley. The trees stretch high into the sky and sit densely packed together, creating a canopy of shade that protects us from the hot sun.
Reid and Junie and I stop often, pulling out snacks and letting Junie pick flowers. Sydney stops to sniff everything and pee on as many trees and bushes as she can. We fall quite a ways behind the pack, even though Boyd and Ruby move the slowest to make sure we don’t get completely separated. Eventually, we just wave them on, letting them know they should feel free to keep going.
“I haven’t done this hike in years,” Reid says when we reach a sign that says we have one mile left. “I forgot how long it takes.”
“And we started at the halfway point,” I remind him.
He chuckles. “Even worse. I did it with my dad a few times and I was a lot faster back then.” Reid’s smile slips, and I can only imagine what he’s thinking about.
“You don’t have to put on a brave face for me,” I tell him, my voice quiet.
His eyes connect with mine before they look forward again.
“It’s not a brave face,” he says a few minutes later. “It’s just…sometimes I forget it’s not just about getting older. It’s because there’s this thing inside me, actively working against me, every single day.”
We stop for a second, tugging out our waters and taking a sip. I crouch down and beckon Junie my way, handing her the water as well.
“Well…when you’re thinking about that, what can I do?” I ask, standing and screwing the lid back on. “Do you want me to bring it up? Stay quiet? Listen if you want to talk?”
He considers me for a minute, his hands on his hips, looking at the path that lies ahead of us. “You know, I’ve never had someone to talk to about it, so…I’m not really sure. But, I’ll let you know.”
I nod. “Sounds good.”
“Junie, wanna shoulder ride?” Reid asks, crouching down.
Of course, my girl lets out a squeal and races his way, grabbing his hands as he flips her up onto his shoulders.
“She can probably walk the rest of the way,” I tell him, somewhat concerned he’s going to wear himself out.
Reid turns my way and gives me a look I’ll never forget. “I only get so many days in my life when I’ll be able to do this kind of stuff. Today is one of those days.”
I take a deep breath and nod, and then we keep walking.
I slink to the back and take out my phone, capturing a picture of the two of them, with Sydney trotting at Reid’s side.
Kilroy Camp is a small campground and not super popular, but my dad always books the same site each year just in case. When we get there, I don’t even need to wander around to find our crew, I just lead Reid to site three.
This spot is about a mile from the outlook that has the view of sunrise, and tomorrow morning, while it’s still dark, we’ll make our way out there. For tonight, we’re tucked into a mostly wooded area a little ways off the trail.
“There they are!” my mom calls out, waving with both hands over her head like we can’t see them in the wide-open space. “Just in time—we’re roasting hot dogs!”
Reid chuckles next to me. “They brought a grill?”
I pin him with a look. “A grill, chairs, tons of food, games…one year, my dad brought a telescope. When we were younger, Bishop would bring a hitting net and bat so he could get in some practice.” I shake my head. “This hike is executed with an almost militaristic efficiency.”
“Clearly.”
“How did Junie do?” Dad asks from his spot at the grill.
“She was a trooper,” Reid says, hoisting her off his shoulders and setting her on the ground.
Junie immediately races over to Briar and crawls into her lap, which makes my heart swell.
“Not surprising,” Mom chimes in. “She has more energy than any kid I’ve ever met.”
I laugh. “Ain’t that the truth.”
Glancing around, I take in the tent situation before pinpointing a spot for us to set up.
“Briar…” I start, but she waves me off, her arms wrapped around Junie, a tender look on her face.
“Do your thing. I got her.”
I smirk then look at Reid. “You know how to pitch a tent?”
He snorts. “Only been doing it every day of my life since I was in junior high.”
At that, I burst into laughter, and the two of us wander over to the empty spot near the back of the site to set up our tent. It doesn’t take long, but by the time we’re done, the sun has mostly set, and we return to where everyone is sitting in small clusters around the campfire, eating their hotdogs and chatting in a variety of different conversations.
Before long, it becomes clear that Junie’s energy has finally reached its max capacity, and I carry her sleepy body over to our tent, unzipping it and crawling inside to get her settled in her green sleeping bag.
When I begin to crawl out, she peeks her eyes open.
“Where Sinny?”
I glance over my shoulder, spotting the pup a few feet away, watching us, her tail wagging.
“Sinny!” she calls out, putting her hands in the air.
Ever the faithful girl, Sydney runs right in and snuggles up next to Junie, her head resting on her stomach. I chuckle quietly then finish crawling out of the tent, zipping it up before returning to the fire.
“Everything go okay?” Reid asks.
I nod. “Yeah. Sydney went right in and snuggled up next to her.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Of course she did. I’m not even sure that dog belongs to me anymore,” he says before taking a sip of his beer.
“I think she belonged to Junie the minute they met.”
Reid glances at me then, his lips parting slightly like he’s going to say something, but before he does, Briar announces that it’s time for Earn Your S’more, and the entire group erupts in lively conversation.
“What’s happening?” Reid asks, glancing around as everyone chatters excitedly, adjusting their chairs into a full circle around the fire.
I grin. “Only the best game to ever come out of the Kilroy hike. If you want a s’more, you have to pay the price.”
“It was my claim to fame— you’re welcome —and I brought pens and scraps of paper for everyone.” Briar walks around to everyone, passing supplies out.
“I’ve been brainstorming mine for literal weeks,” Bishop says, instantly scribbling on his slip.
“Okay, so how it works,” Briar says, looking at Reid, “is you write down a task that someone in the group will have to complete in order to earn their s’more. It can be anything you want—within reason—but it’s something you have to be willing to do yourself because you might grab your own out of the pile.”
Reid rolls his pen back and forth between his palms. “Interesting. Very interesting,” he says, eventually jotting something down.
Before long, we’ve all dropped our slips into Bishop’s hat, and then Briar mixes them all up inside.
“Who’s the brave soul that’s going to go first?” she asks, glancing around.
“I’ll do it.”
I blink, surprised, watching as Reid stands, crosses over to Briar, and grabs a slip out of the pile.
“Oh, come on,” he says, grinning wide. “ Read the ingredients on the hotdog package as seductively as you can. ”
Everyone bursts into laughter, and even in the low light of the campfire, I can see the way Reid’s cheeks flush slightly pink.
“Get to it, Mr. Cohen,” I say, smirking.
Reid grabs the plastic package out of the trash and looks at the label for a long minute before he spins around and looks at me.
“Kosher beef,” he says, biting his lip. “Delicious, nutritious water.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, barely able to contain my laughter.
“Sodium lactate and paprika,” he continues, dropping the package on the ground then bending slowly to pick it up. “Hydrolyzed soy protein.”
The laughter around the fire is so loud I can barely hear the rest of the ingredients, and when Reid finally finishes, he gets a standing ovation from the entire family and a few pats on the back.
After Reid breaks the ice, the rest of the game goes pretty quickly with some well-thought-out tasks:
Bishop acts out the Titanic scene with dad, though dad tries to convince everyone that by obligating him to participate, he’s off the hook to draw his own slip of paper. Nobody else agrees.
Boyd has to do the worm and can barely manage once or twice because he can’t stop laughing.
Gabi has to give her best impression of Rusty, which she does by sitting there with a frown, glaring at everyone and rolling her eyes before finally bowing.
Ruby has to bite into an onion like an apple, which Bishop brought with him on the hike just for this moment.
Bellamy howls like a wolf for a full minute, which is a lot longer than you would think.
But there are also a few duds:
Mom sings Happy Birthday to herself.
Rusty has to walk the runway like a model but kind of half-asses it and everyone boos and chucks marshmallows at him.
Dad has to wear his socks on his hands for the rest of the game, which feels particularly unsanitary.
Andy has to give his worst pick-up line to mom, which ends up being, “Need help with those groceries?” Everyone gags a bit.
And mine is to catch three marshmallows in my mouth.
Then it’s Briar’s turn, and she pulls out a slip of paper from her pocket, clearing her throat dramatically to get everyone’s attention.
“Make a baby.” There’s a collective pause before she shrugs and says, “Oh, well I guess I get a pass then because I’m already doing that.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Bishop shouts.
“Wait, what’s going on?” Mom asks, sitting up straighter, her eyes wide.
Briar’s smile stretches wide. “We’re pregnant!”
The campfire erupts as all of us fly out of our chairs, hugging and laughing and crying and expressing our excitement. When I finally get my chance to hug Briar, I can’t hold her tight enough.
“Junie’s gonna have a cousin!” I say, my arms wrapped around her, feeling an emotion I can’t exactly describe.
“I know!” she shouts, and then we’re jumping up and down, laughing and hugging at the same time.
“Alright, y’all, someone get this pregnant lady a s’more,” Dad shouts.
And then we’re all laughing and digging into the bags of supplies, the evening taking on a new life—literally—that none of us expected.