Chapter 8
Through the roaring in my ears, I heard Zaza babbling as she tottered to me and patted my cheeks with her mittens.
As I lay in the cold snow, I concentrated on breathing.
In. Out. It didn’t do much to help with my shock.
I couldn’t believe I’d just had a hallucination.
I thought myself done with those. Even odder, my incidents were usually triggered by loud noises that had me ducking for cover.
This time, I’d completely traversed into loony bin land.
I’d imagined Percy speaking. Could it be my imagination shifted into overdrive because of the book?
“Stai bene, Bru?” Zaza kept tapping my face and I opened my eyes to see her peering at me and beaming when she saw me looking back.
“Bru sveglio.” She clapped her hands.
“Yes. He’s awake, if useless at the moment.” Said with a hint of disgust, the voice gravelly and feminine all at once. Not Nicky’s. Or Zaza’s. So, who?
I turned my head to the side to see Percy standing close by with arms crossed.
“Did you just talk?” I whispered.
“Yes, and I have to say, your reaction was completely uncalled for.”
“But… that’s impossible.”
“And yet there are words coming out of my mouth,” was the sarcastic reply.
“Nope. Nope. This isn’t happening.” I shut my eyes tight. “I am not hearing a lizard talk. I am sane. Nothing wrong with my brain. I’m probably still asleep.”
“Argh.” The annoyed grunt came with a cold smack to the face. The snowy mess slid from my cheek and I opened my eyes in shock.
“Did you just throw a snowball at me?” I exclaimed.
“I did and I’ll do it again if you insist on being a moron.” Percy crossed its short arms again and managed to look indignant.
“I’m having a nervous breakdown,” I huffed.
“No, you’re just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact I’ve finally decided to grace you with my grandeur.
Being overwhelmed is a natural reaction.
Humans can be fragile when presented with someone as exalted as myself.
A good thing we dragons enjoy the reverence.
However, my patience as you attempt to come to grips with the honor I’ve bestowed upon you isn’t infinite,” Percy warned, wagging a finger. “Pull yourself together.”
So many words, crazy ones at that, but one stood out. “You’re not a dragon,” I blurted.
“Says the expert.” Definite sarcasm in that reply.
“Dragons aren’t real.” I knew that for a fact.
“And yet here I stand in front of you.”
The claim led had me eyeballing Percy, a reptile shorter than Zaza and not that impressive if you ignored the talking. “If you’re a dragon, where’s your wings?”
“Coming. Another few more moltings and they should appear. Keep feeding me well and it will happen soon.”
“No fucking way this is happening and I’ll prove it,” I muttered as I got to my feet. Much as I didn’t want to look and sound off my rocker, I needed a reality slap, and I knew just who could give me one.
Zaza babbled and held up her arms before I could take a step, her demand I lift her being the whole reason this craziness began. It seemed obvious that she wanted to be carried by me now that Percy had so rudely pointed it out.
I grasped her under the armpits and carried her like a live bomb to the chalet. I bellowed as I approached the door. “Nicky!”
She must have been close by because the portal opened and she glanced at me with a worried expression as she reached for her child. “What’s wrong? Did Zaza soil her diaper?”
“Tell me lizards don’t talk.”
“Lizards don’t talk,” Nicky parroted.
I almost sighed in relief until I heard that damnable voice.
“How many times must I tell you that while lizards don’t speak, dragons do.”
Nicky’s eyes widened.
“Did you also hear that?” I whispered.
Rather than answer me, Nicky crouched with Zaza still on her hip. “I’m sorry, Percy, could you repeat that?”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be like Bruce and start babbling you’re insane because it’s tedious.”
“How…That is…”
Percy sighed loudly and then began speaking in what I assumed was Italian because Nicky replied rapid-fire.
When she finally stood, looking shell-shocked—an expression I knew well—she murmured, “I think we need to go inside and discuss this further.”
“So long as it involves food,” Percy insisted. “I’m hungry.”
I stumbled over the threshold and stripped off my outerwear as Nicky took care of Zaza. Percy simply shook that little body and stalked into the kitchen, exclaiming, “What smells so good? I want some. Now.”
Zaza went toddling after Percy and Nicky glanced at me. “You have a pet dragon?”
“I didn’t know. I told you we just met.”
“I heard that,” Percy hollered. “And I am not his pet. If anything, Bruce belongs to me.”
“What?” I blurted.
“You really should get your hearing checked because I’ve already told you that you’re my human. Although, I wouldn’t call you pet. Pets are useless creatures meant for companionship, whereas you, as my servant, serve a purpose. Mainly, taking care of me.”
“I am not your fucking butler,” I growled, my shock evaporating in the face of Percy’s arrogance.
Nicky snickered. “You kind of are. After all, you do feed Percy, and you did have to clean up the shed skin.”
“I wouldn’t laugh, woman,” Percy stated. “You also serve me. Congratulations on your role as dragon chef.” The statement rounded Nicky’s mouth. But Percy wasn’t done. “Now do your job and feed me.”
“Hold on a second. Before you stuff your snout, I have questions,” I interjected. “Why is it you’re suddenly talking to us?”
“Because I had to learn your languages first, which wasn’t easy.
Before coming across you, I only had a smattering of Italian, and most of those words were along the line of ‘shoo,’ ‘begone,’ and ‘die, you ugly critter.’ So rude.
I am not ugly.” Percy didn’t hide the affront.
“The bulk of my learning came from Zaza’s informative videos.
They helped me to decipher the conversations I’d already absorbed. ”
“You speak awfully well, considering. Shouldn’t your vocabulary be more limited?” I pointed out.
“My kind is gifted with different abilities, but we are all exceptionally intelligent. Some more so than others. Like me. I seem to have a knack for learning and extrapolating.”
“No way you learned English in less than two days.” I shook my head.
“I did, as well as Italian, which, linguistically, is similar in many respects.”
Nicky took a turn to ask a question. “Why do you call yourself a dragon?”
“Because that is what I am. Hatched in the magma of a volcano—”
“What volcano? There’s none for hundreds of miles around,” I pointed out.
“False. There is one inside Mount Amiata.”
“A dead one,” I riposted.
“Maybe on the outside, but I assure you, its recent activity proved enough to heat and cure my egg enough that I might finally emerge.”
The more Percy spoke, the more I wanted a drink. Instead, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. “Why did you decide to live with me? I thought dragons laired in caves.”
“Only if there’s no castle available. We prefer the comforts of modern amenities when possible. Hence why I relocated.”
“This chalet is far from being a castle.”
“True, but it will do for the moment. Once I’ve reached a decent size, we shall cast about for a suitable location to take as my own.”
“You’re planning to confiscate a castle?”
“Confiscate?” Percy questioned.
“Steal.”
“Bah. Hardly stealing. Whoever owns it shall be honored that I’ve chosen to take up residence.”
“And if they’re not?”
“Then I guess they won’t have a place in my retinue. Only the loyal are allowed to serve me.”
“What happens to those who aren’t?”
“They serve as an example.” A matter-of-fact reply that implied a deadly outcome.
“You kill them?” I asked to be clear.
“If you’re not with me, you’re against me.”
I snorted. “Are all dragons natural born dictators?”
“Yes. After all, as a superior species, we know best.”
Completely delusional. I cocked my head. “Speaking of your kind, exactly how many other dragons are there?”
“You tell me.”
“You don’t know?”
“How would I know? I’m barely just hatched,” Percy exclaimed.
“What of your mother?” Nicky interjected softly.
“My maternal progenitor is most likely long passed. But if she lived, I’m sure she wouldn’t let me starve.” Spoken with a pointed look in Nicky’s direction.
“I take it that’s a hint for lunch.” Nicky headed for the stove where a tray cooled and a pot steamed.
“Was I being too subtle?” Percy snidely asked.
“I made some pasta in a cheese sauce for lunch, and you have a choice of biscotti or torta for dessert.”
“Both!” Percy declared.
Nicky set Percy and Zaza up on the floor picnic-style, giving them each a bowl of pasta and a fork for stabbing.
I got to eat at the table like a big boy. I downed the cheesy noodles and exclaimed, “Damn, that was good.”
For some reason that made Nicky snort. “It was simply pasta and cheese.”
“Pretty sure I didn’t buy any fettucine,” I remarked, recognizing the rectangular and flat noodle.
“You didn’t. I made it and the sauce. Would have been better with some fresh parmesan, but I made do with what you had in the fridge.”
If this was making do, then I couldn’t wait to see what she could do when she had all the ingredients she wanted. Hold on, that kind of thinking implied she’d be around long enough for me to find out.
Percy suddenly squawked as Zaza grabbed the reptile—ahem, dragon—in a chokehold.
“Dinosauro,” she squealed. “Mio.”
“Drago,” Percy corrected. “Sono un drago.”
“Ooh, drago,” Zaza repeated, not at all upset at the change.
“Lascia andare, Percy,” Nicky admonished as she swapped our pasta bowls for a plate of cookies and cake.
“Mamma.” Zaza’s lower lip jutted.
“Ora!” Nicky barked which must have meant “let go” since the baby unlatched her death grip hug. Zaza still wore a pout as she toddled for me with arms up.
“Your mommy’s there.” I pointed.
“Su!” Zaza insisted wagging her hands.