Chapter 13
When Nicky asked, I’d downplayed my interaction with strangers who popped by, making it seem like they’d made a random mistake, but my gut told me to be wary.
The man in the car had been dressed like a tourist, as had the woman in the passenger seat, bundled in winter gear.
There were skis strapped to the roof. They even said all the right things.
“We must have missed the driveway to our friend’s place.”
“Easy to get turned around in the dark.”
“You staying here by yourself? Must be lonely.”
While the man nattered, I watched. Saw how they cased the area, their gazes taking in everything they could see. More than idle curiosity. Or was that my suspicious side seeing things that weren’t there? Quite possible.
Paranoia had been my constant companion since retirement.
I saw threats everywhere I went. A car backfired and I ducked for cover.
Someone screamed, even in laughter, and I immediately sought out the threat.
My therapist claimed my time spent in adrenalized situations made me hypersensitive.
Maybe. But then again, I hadn’t managed to survive this long by ignoring my instincts.
The fact I no longer resided in a warzone didn’t mean I should let my guard down.
Danger lurked everywhere, as did death, for the unwary.
And now I had more than just myself to guard. I’d meant it when I told Nicky I wouldn’t let her, Zaza, or even Percy come to harm.
While Nicky put Zaza to bed, the child seemingly fine despite the puking, I changed into my shorts and robe, planning to hit the hot tub.
The tension in me refused to ease. Had those people truly been lost?
Had they been looking for Nicky on behalf of Joseph?
Checking to see if the man alone up the mountain had anything of worth to steal? Did they know I had a dragon?
“I’m going for a soak,” I told Percy who lay on the couch watching television. “You coming?”
“No. I’m tired and will most likely sleep.”
“You sure you’re okay?” I crouched down to run a hand over Percy’s crown.
“The molt is almost upon me. Try to not make a scene this time when I do shed.”
I grimaced. “No promises.”
Percy sniffed. “Humans.”
“If you see Nicky before you nap, let her know where I’ve gone in case she needs me,” I said before slipping on my boots.
I exited the chalet and instantly my body clenched from the cold draft, my robe not long enough to fully cover my bare legs.
I made my way to the hot tub and, despite having stoked the firebox earlier, added more wood before I hung my robe on a hook and kicked off my boots.
I sighed as I eased into the hot water. At least with the power back on, I could run the pump and circulate the water so the heat didn’t concentrate in one spot.
I’d barely begun to relax when I heard someone approaching and immediately stiffened into a sitting position, my hand reaching for a gun I didn’t have. I had to leave it at home because of stupid TSA rules.
I arched a brow in surprise at the sight of Nicky approaching, her long hair wound and pinned atop her head in a bun, swathed in the fluffy pink robe I’d bought while out today.
She let it slide off her arms and hung it alongside mine.
She wore the simple one-piece suit I’d managed to find on a clearance rack in the clothing store—and looked damned good.
Too good.
My dick wanted to show its appreciation, and I quickly turned on the jets, causing the surface to froth before saying, “Didn’t expect to see you out here.”
“I was going to stay inside and watch television but Percy told me you were out here and ordered me to join you. When I told her I couldn’t leave Zaza alone, she gave me a lecture on how she was perfectly capable of notifying me if something was amiss.”
“Bossy for her size.”
Nicky’s lips curved. “Very. Anyhow, I figured might as well take a break, seeing as how Percy is curled up with Zaza and I know from experience that if Zaza truly is sick, then she’ll most likely wake fussing sometime after midnight, meaning this might be my only chance to relax.”
“If that happens, wake me and I’ll help.”
“Help do what? If it’s a fever, we’ll be taking a tepid shower and dosing with acetaminophen. If it’s more puking, then it’s fluids and cuddles. If it’s crying because she’s uncomfortable, I’ll be walking and humming to console her. Not really much you can do.”
“I can at least offer moral support and play errand boy if you need something.”
She offered a wan smile. “Which is more than her own father ever did.”
“And I keep saying most men aren’t like him.”
“So I’m beginning to see.” Nicky sighed as she sank into the water up to her earlobes and leaned her head back. “Guess I might not be starting the new job tomorrow after all, which will most likely mean I’ll be on the hunt again because I doubt they’ll be understanding if I miss my first shift.”
“Maybe it’s for the best.”
“How so?” She frowned in my direction. “I need to work if I’m going to be able to afford a place to live.”
“I’ve told you, no rush.”
“I can’t live off your charity forever.”
I almost blurted, “Why not,” only that sounded a little too much like commitment. “Just saying you don’t have to worry. If the kid is sick, then she’s your first priority.”
“Obviously.” She paused before saying, “Do you have kids?”
“Nope.”
“You should. You’re good with Zaza.”
“Only because she’s an awesome kid. There was a time I thought I’d have an ankle biter or two of my own, but that’s not happening anymore.”
“Why not? You’re still young enough.”
Might as well let her know how damaged I was. “I got wounded when I was deployed and while they managed to save my, uh”—I paused, looking for a word less crass than cock—“shaft, the trauma to my, uh, other parts made me infertile.”
Her lips twisted down. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. So was I, because it turned out to be a deal breaker with my ex-wife.” Only the partial truth. My being sterile was only one of the reasons Elodie walked out.
“She left you because of an injury?” Nicky sat up straight in shock.
“Among other things,” I admitted. “But it certainly played a huge factor. We’d held off on the kid thing until I reached a place in my career where I wouldn’t be deployed six months out of the year.
Then I got injured and a kid was the last thing I wanted to think about.
Problem was, she could hear the ticking of her biological clock and when she realized I didn’t know when I’d be ready to have a baby, she called it quits with me.
Can’t blame her. Why saddle herself with a broken man who can’t give her what she wants? "
"Broken?” Nicky huffed. “If she wanted a child that bad, there were other options. Adoption. Insemination from a donor.”
“Yeah, well, she chose option number three. New husband. Even more ironic, they met because of me.”
“You mentioned he was your therapist?”
“He was. They met during our couples counseling.” I couldn’t help a wry smile. “How’s that for fucked? The guy who was supposed to save our marriage ended it.”
“He should have his license revoked,” was Nicky’s vehement reply.
“It was for the best. I wasn’t the same man, and now Elodie has what she wanted, a husband who’s home seven days a week and a baby, with another on the way.” For the first time I didn’t feel the rage or sadness at knowing Elodie lived the life we’d planned together with another man.
“For all his faults, Joseph didn’t divorce me when my last miscarriage made it impossible for me to get pregnant again.” She dropped the news casually.
“Oh shit. You can’t have more kids?”
She shook her head and uttered a derisive laugh. “He used to tell me I was lucky he kept me around, seeing as how I was defective. Of course, the fact he was the reason I had the miscarriage in the first place escaped him.”
“Fucking hell,” I breathed.
“Do you know what was worse than him making me barren? The fact he didn’t discard me.
This will sound awful, but when the doctor told me I’d never have another kid, I remember thinking, I’ll finally be set free.
You see, Joseph always wanted a lot of kids, but apparently, he didn’t care if they were born in wedlock. ”
“Geezus fucking Christ. He was cheating on you, too?”
“Oh yes. And by my last count had two children with other women. A son and a daughter.”
“You know, if he shows up, I’m going to kill him.” I didn’t hide my dark side.
“No, you won’t. He’s not worth going to jail for.”
“Jail is only for those who get caught.” I’d make sure authorities never found the body.
She shook her head. “You are something, Bruce.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
“Good.” She floated across the tub, close enough I could have grabbed her. “You’ve got me telling you things I’ve never told anyone. Have me feeling…” She turned her face away.
I couldn’t help but cup her chin so that I could see her expression as I softly asked, “Feeling what?”
“Like I’m seen. Valued. Respected.”
“Because you are that and much more.”
She drifted closer. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt that way, but most of all, you make me feel alive.” She reached out to trail wet fingers along my jaw which tightened.
It wasn’t the only part of me getting taut, but I wouldn’t act on it. She was being honest with me. Vulnerable. The last thing she wanted or needed was me mauling her, because for the first time in a long while, I also felt again. Felt something more than anger and depression.
“You’re just grateful for my help.” I tried to put things in perspective.
“It’s more than that. You’ve awakened something inside me…” She swallowed before whispering, “I never thought I’d feel desire again. After everything that’s happened, I thought that part of me forever lost.”
“You don’t want me,” I meant to make it a harsh rebuke, but it emerged almost pleading.
“I know what I feel.”
“It’s simply gratitude. That of a survivor grateful for a helping hand.”