Chapter 14
Zaza ended up sleeping through the night and so did I, although I woke in the morning with instant anxiety.
How would Nicky act in the light of day? Would she show regret? Pretend it never happened? Give me the talk about it being a mistake?
Geezus Christ. Emasculated by sex. Turned into an emotional mess because I’d indulged in the horizontal tango.
What did it matter how she reacted? I knew nothing would come of it.
The fact remained she deserved better. A man without baggage.
A man who didn’t sometimes wake up screaming and sweating in the middle of the night.
A man who could love and cherish her as she deserved.
Okay, maybe I could provide the latter, however, that didn’t erase all my other faults. Ornery. Suspicious. Not a big fan of most people. Yup, I was a prize.
Just ask Elodie who—upon declaring she was leaving me—said, “This could have been avoided if you’d died from your injuries, but no, you just had to recover.
” Her lips twisted. “I thought I could handle being married to a cripple, especially once you started making money with the books, but nothing will change the fact you’re a borderline neanderthal. ”
The cruelty of her words still stung. “If you hated me so much then why did you stick around?”
“Because I figured with your mental issues, you’d off yourself and I’d inherit everything as opposed to losing half in a divorce.”
Ironically enough, I’d thought about ending my life, but the fact she’d hoped for it perversely made me determined to live.
In the end, Elodie got what she wanted. A slick yuppie with a PhD, half my pension, and she even kept my benefits until she re-married.
She took all the cash we’d saved but left me the house and my royalties.
Stole my dog. Like literally. But I knew if I went over to get him back, someone would die.
Thinking about Elodie and her parting cruelty hurt but lacked the despair that used to send me scurrying to the nearest bar.
For the first time, I felt dumb. Dumb for not realizing she’d been so unhappy and simply used me as a steppingstone to escape small-town life.
Stupid for thinking the act she put on when I did come home was real.
Peeved that I’d been so thoroughly used and abused by someone who never actually cared.
Was it any wonder I wanted to steer clear of relationships?
Nicky wasn’t Elodie, though. She’d gone through her own trauma. Had her own trust issues. Did I regret giving her the reassurance she needed? No. Not even a tiny bit. However, I braced myself for the inevitable rejection.
When I headed downstairs, ready to act nonchalant, I found Percy sitting on the couch with Zaza, watching cartoons while Nicky made breakfast. With a flipper in hand, she turned from the stove and smiled so bright—with the intensity of a thousand suns—I almost incinerated on the spot.
“Good morning, handsome,” she chirped.
Every doubt fled in that second because, indeed, it was a great fucking morning.
Fuck acting aloof or keeping my distance.
I couldn’t stop myself from making a beeline for her in the kitchen.
Guess I needed to work on my smile because she stood with a hint of question in her eyes.
A worry resolved by me leaning in to give her a peck and murmuring, “Morning, beautiful.”
“It was an even better night,” she whispered—and dammit it all if she didn’t blush.
Before I could do something crazy—like drag her upstairs and make it an even better morning—she turned back to the stove and expertly flipped pancakes onto a plate that already held a stack. She set the tower of them on the table along with an ungodly amount of breakfast sausage.
“Breakfast,” she sang.
“I didn’t know Italians did pancakes and sausage for breakfast.”
“We don’t but I thought you might like a taste of home.”
“You thought right.”
I swung Zaza—to her squealing delight—into the booster seat I’d bought while running errands.
Nicky and I sat across from each other in reach of the baby.
If you ignored the fact we had a dragon sitting at the table—her tiny butt perched on a stack of books—the entire thing was ridiculously domesticated.
All of us ate and chatted as if we were an actual family.
A part of me understood it wouldn’t last but I sure as fuck planned to enjoy it while I could.
Pessimistic? Not really. Despite Nicky’s good humor and lack of regret, I was cognizant she’d recently emerged from an abusive relationship.
It was natural she sought affection from the first person who showed her kindness.
Was I wrong to take advantage? Depended on how you looked at it.
In that moment, it would have been crueler for me to reject her.
She needed reassurance. Needed to be shown men existed who wouldn’t be turned off by her scars and past. Showing her pleasure reminded her that life wasn’t all about misery.
And if she needed another round—or two or three—then I’d willingly participate, even as I understood she’d eventually move on because the rebound guy rarely got to keep the girl.
After breakfast, a hectic scurry occurred as Nicky raced to get ready. Her new job wanted her to clock in at ten to start training, ensuring she’d be somewhat ready for the lunch crowd at the resort that hired her.
While I’d previously told her she could have the car, that morning, I said, “Mind if I drop you and Zaza off? I’ll pick you up when your shift is done. I wanted to run some more errands in town.”
“Oh, what did you forget?” she asked casually as she began the process of bundling her daughter.
Thinking fast, I said, “Ran out of printer paper. Also wanted to get some more sand to put down on the walkways.”
“I’d love a ride because I’m still kind of shook by what happened the last time I drove that road.”
She suspected nothing but I felt like an ass for lying. The truth? I wanted to check out that story the strangers told last night and put my paranoia at ease.
Percy didn’t seem too happy we were both leaving, judging by the heavy sigh. “Abandoned by my servants to fend for myself yet again. The disrespect boggles.”
“Would it help if I said I’ll make you cookies later?” Nicky offered.
“With chocolate chips?” Percy asked.
“As if there’s any other kind.” Nicky went to finish getting ready and I took the dragon aside.
“Listen, while I’m gone,” I whispered, “I need you to keep an eye on the place. Watch for anything suspicious. Keep an ear open for anything out of the ordinary.”
The task perked Percy right up. “I shall protect the lair!”
“While staying out of sight,” I reminded. In retrospect, I regretted taking Percy into town when we first met. In my defense, at the time I thought Percy was a simple lizard.
With a last flurry of panicked activity—apparently getting a two-year-old ready to go wasn’t always easy—we set off. The road still had some slippery spots but I handled them with ease.
As we entered the town, I swung by the church first to drop off Zaza. Nicky insisted I come in with her as she wanted the volunteers to meet me in case Nicky ran late at work and I had to pick up the baby. It boggled the mind she would trust me like that. It also pleased me more than expected.
Nicky said goodbye and kissed Zaza. While some kids fussed as their parents left, Zaza toddled off to a corner set up with a play kitchen.
Nicky stared with a sad expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“The one thing I hate about going to work is missing out on her growing up.”
I opened my mouth to tell her she didn’t have to but before I could say a thing, Nicky shook her head. “Don’t. I have to do this. Zaza will be fine. It will be good for her to socialize with other children before she starts school in a few years.”
Would it be good, though? Kids could be assholes. Not Zaza, of course. She was perfect.
“Let’s get you to work.” I put my arm around Nicky as if it were the most natural thing in the world. As we headed outside, I was the one looking back, fighting an urge to grab the baby rather than leave her with strangers.
“You sure she’ll be okay?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Nicky patted my arm. “The first time is always hard.”
No shit.
Next stop, the flashy resort that hired Nicky. We didn’t go in through the front, though. I drove around to the employee entrance and Nicky slid out of the car, but not before leaning over to give me a kiss along with a whispered, “I can’t wait for tonight.”
Now, neither could I!
But first, time to check out that story by those lost tourists.
I drove slowly up the road to the chalet, eyeballing driveways, some of them short enough the parked cars were visible.
Those that held some. Too many were empty, the residents either at work or off doing touristy things.
Other properties couldn’t be seen from the road, the driveways entering small forests and disappearing from sight.
When the first two passes didn’t net me a hit, I ended up parking a few hundred yards from the hidden addresses and hiking in on foot.
I’d come bundled—boots, parka, hat, gloves—but the cold still bit.
The closest place to mine appeared to be vacant, the snow around the cabin and in the driveway undisturbed, no smoke drifting upward from the chimney.
The next private residence held two cars, neither of them the one I sought.
I made the rounds of the four hidden driveways that came before the chalet.
Not one held the strangers’ car. Could be they’d gone skiing, in which case they’d probably return around nightfall.
The problem being coming up with an excuse for Nicky as to why I had to go out for a few hours this evening.