NINE #3
"Tsar," Drake grumbled. "Keep moving," he demanded, voice a mix of needy still, amused, and resigned.
"Home? Now why would I go home, when the view is so much more... intriguing here?"
"What's the matter? Ran through all the women in the clan? No one left to warm your own bed, so you need to wonder who might be in mine?"
"Might?" Tsar asked, head cocking to the side as his eyes roamed over me, not invasive, but somehow making me feel oddly naked at the same time.
"Friend, if you only think she might be in your bed later, then you clearly have lost the ability to seal the deal.
Because from what I can tell, she is primed and... "
My feet landed on the ground with an impact that ricocheted up my legs, making my knees ache even as I leaned back against the tree, confused with the sudden drop, only to find Drake had already turned and stormed across the clearing, getting close to the man who seemed no more intimidated by the looming presence of Drake in front of him than he had been with him clear across the path from him.
"Watch how you speak about her," Drake demanded, voice a low, threatening thing, the sounds almost hard to make out between the clenching of his teeth.
"Possessiveness? From you? Make all the comments you'd like about my whoring, Drake, but I distinctly remember you having a different woman on your arm every night as well.
How the outside world must have changed you," he added, shrugging, then looking past Drake at me. "Or how sweet this one must be."
"Don't look at her," Drake demanded, moving closer still.
My stomach twisted in knots at the idea of them fighting, especially knowing that the rules were clear here; this was supposed to be a peaceful clan.
Would there be consequences because of a little misunderstanding, some masculine chest-puffing?
Despite the warning, Tsar's gaze stayed on me for a long moment still, eyes mostly on my face, almost seeming to want to read me, though I knew his kind didn't have those particular skills.
"Well, maybe I don't understand your desire to swear your cock's loyalty to one woman, but good for you," he decided, pushing off the tree, rising to a height the same as Drake's.
"But since there is clearly not going to be any more fun for you two tonight, I might as well go find a bed-warmer of my own.
Nice meeting you, babe," he told me as he moved past despite not actually having met me at all.
"I'm sorry," Drake said when he turned back, not making a move back toward me.
"Old friend of yours?" I asked, refusing to use the tree for support anymore even if my body still felt frazzled and unsure, wobbly even. "He's... Charming."
"You could say he was a friend."
"Or romantic competitor?" I asked, pushing back the strange swirling of jealousy. It was years ago. Decades ago. There was no reason to feel anything but a sort of understanding related to young men and their oat-sowing.
"That too," Drake agreed, giving me a nod. "Those days are past, Amy," he told me, shuffling a bit, uncomfortable. "I was young. Life was different. I see things differently now."
"Differently how?"
"More clearly," he specified, slowly making his way back to me.
"I see what is important now. Having a parade of different women in my bed is a waste of energy," he told me, getting close, reaching out to lift my chin.
"But having the right one there? Yeah, that is worth it.
But," he added, making my head snap out of the dreamy imaginings of finishing what we had started.
"I don't presently have a bed of my own.
And some things shouldn't be done - and can't be done right - under your parents' roof.
I am going to get some friends together to start building tomorrow.
We will take a walk in the morning. You can pick the spot. "
And so we went to bed.
Frustrated.
But hopeful.
-
"Oh, isn't it such a beautiful day?" Aya asked, breezing into her home where I was sitting mending a shirt Nesta had given to me to work on since it no longer fit her children, so it wouldn't be a waste if I ruined it.
"I haven't been out," I admitted, not having anywhere to go since Drake, his father and brothers-in-law, Kieran, and - surprisingly - Tsar had kicked me off of the construction site of the house that would be mine.
Mine.
Drake had made that clear.
It was mine.
With no expectation that he be allowed to move in if that wasn't the route I wanted to take.
And of course it was a route I wanted to take, but I was pleased by the forethought, the willingness to give me something that belonged to me no matter what.
Even though my heart had made its mind up already, no matter how soon it may have seemed..
It had been two weeks since the night on the path when Tsar had interrupted us.
And while things got heated at times when we were out exploring, or even at night in bed, he always stopped it before it got too far, leaving me in a state of constant frustration, the need a clawing, painful, unavoidable thing that was - admittedly - making me a bit grouchier than usual, especially since I had been kicked off the building site that had been a way to release some of the frustration at least.
Okay, so I maybe accidentally whacked Kieran in the head with a limb I was trying - rather unsuccessfully - to move, but I hardly thought it was reason enough for banishment.
We will call you back in when it is time for all the finishing touches.
That was what Drake had told me.
And I really maybe should have been more understanding, but I was going a little stir crazy in the house, stabbing my finger with Aya's spare wooden needle time and time and time again until the tip of it became hardened with a callous I wondered might not ever go away.
"You should put that away," Aya demanded, waving a hand at me.
"You need some fresh air. Stretch your legs.
Just because the men are being, well, men, doesn't mean you can't go and explore on your own, get some exercise, clear your head.
The mending will be here when you get back.
The snow is melting, you know. Whole parts of the ground have grass peeking through.
I even saw a crocus in the square. Spring is on its way.
It will be here before we know it. Here," she added, reaching for a little snack pouch that she made filled with nuts, seeds, dried fruits, and some chewy roots, and kept in a large basket to throw in pockets or bags when you were on your way out. "Take this. Go have some fun."
I took the pouch, leaning in to kiss her cheek in a way that had become second nature to me. Me. Someone who never knew affection from a mother, never knew how to give affection to a mother.
It was a gift I don't think Drake - or his family - truly understood the significance of.
It meant the world to me.
To have warmth and affection and kindness after a life of cold and distance and cruelty.
It managed to pierce through the bad mood that had been hanging over me for the past few days.
"Take your paper and pen," she suggested. "Write your letters. The time will be coming soon for you two to take your trip out into the other realm."
It had been a sore subject since Drake and I had finally been summoned by the elders to be exhaustively questioned until my mind started to feel thick as molasses, hard to wade through.
They were angry at us for demanding to be allowed to go back into the other realm every season.
It is simply not done.
That was Borena, the oldest lady elder with the disapproving eyes.
I had a sneaking suspicion - though never spoke it aloud out of respect - that she was prejudiced toward me because I wasn't Draca.
After so many generations without anyone being allowed to cross the veil, I could see how it would easily happen.
Especially since all the legends that I had heard - the ones that had been passed around the fire pit in town like old, beloved stories - painted my kind in the ugliest, harshest of lights, highlighting all our flaws and imperfections, amplifying them, until we came off as the wickedest of monsters with no redeeming qualities at all.
The only thing that seemed to help us - aside from having Kieran on the council to begin with, was the fact that my connections went straight back to the Seelie Court.
Apparently, Borena had a connection with the Light Queen - Ang - from back when they were young.
She liked the idea that I had connections there, especially after hearing how twisted Cass' desire for power had become.
There seemed to be this unspoken understanding.
Something is coming. We need to be prepared.
Just because their veil had stood all this time didn't mean it would continue to do so. It didn't mean that there weren't witches and mages in both courts who could undo the spell, who could rip their sanctuary away from them.
If something was coming, it was best to be aware of it, to make smart, strategic connections.
Like mine with Jasper who was with Cece who was daughter to the heir apparent, who was granddaughter to the sitting Queen.
Being the kind of fae they were, the Draca would never side with the Dark, would never choose that side to fight on.
So using me to gain protection was smart for them.
And the only reason we were going to be allowed to head back out of the veil in about a week and a half when the rest of the Draca were busy celebrating Ostara with a huge feast I found myself somewhat sad at the thought of missing.
But, I reminded myself as I walked down the path, offering smiles to those I knew and those who were still strangers to me alike, we would get to see Sal and Smoky again.