Chapter 10 #2
“A lavish is a dumb little pet,” Emmeric sneers. “No more than a rag upon which to wipe your seed before crumpling her up and throwing her away. It’s all Betas like you are good for.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zabriel snaps at his brother.
“Zenevieve, when Dandro retreats into a rut, he takes Cariss with him and keeps her with him until it’s over.
After, he might give her a present or money.
It’s just something that goes on between Alphas and Betas, and usually in the ruthouses down in the city. ”
Ruthouses. I’ve heard a little about those as well. They’re places where Alphas go to work out their frustrations and desires during their ruts. They’re a little like inns, but not a lot of sleeping happens there.
“Why usually in the ruthouses?” I ask.
Zabriel shrugs. “I don’t know. I suppose if you want a willing Beta, the best place to look for one is in a ruthouse.”
“You should consider becoming a lavish,” Emmeric tells me. “It’s all you’re good for.”
“Hey,” Zabriel says sharply, stepping up into his brother’s face. “You’re being nastier than usual today. Why don’t you fuck off before I knock you down again?”
“One day, you’ll all regret the way you treat me,” Emmeric mutters as he stalks away.
Onderz raises his voice so Emmeric can hear him. “He’s just mad that Zenevieve won’t be his lavish, his mate, or even his friend in his wildest dreams.”
I turn back to watch Dandro and Cariss together, my curiosity piqued by the idea of lavishes.
I can tell from the smile on Cariss’s face that she adores being Dandro’s lavish.
She gets his undivided, hungry attention during every rut.
He must turn to her because he needs her so badly he might explode.
I’ve never seen an Alpha in a full rut, but I’ve witnessed Stesha at the beginning and end of his.
A ripple of heat goes through me as I recall the alluring way he smells, how his eyes flash, and the way his body moves.
I bite my lower lip and pull it through my teeth, imagining Stesha’s hot breath on the back of my neck and his muscular body pressed against me.
I picture him breathing hard through his nose, eyes narrowed and flashing, his hair falling into his eyes, cheeks flushed, and flesh burning.
His whole body would be tense as he wrapped his massive arms around me.
Still looking at Dandro and Cariss, I ask, “Does Stesha have a lavish?”
“No idea,” Onderz says.
Zabriel grins. “Stesha is so uptight he probably spends his rut beating his knot with a mallet.”
Onderz bursts out laughing. “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were right.”
I shake my head, exasperated. “Don’t be ridiculous.
He does not.” But secretly I’m pleased to hear their silly guess.
I hope Stesha continues to be distant with everyone until he finally notices me.
Everyone’s always said the only person he thinks highly of is me.
They can tease me and call me dragonmaster’s pet, I don’t care, as long as I’m the one who Stesha finally takes as his mate.
The sun is sinking into the mountains, and dusk is turning the dragongrounds a rosy gold when I wave goodbye to Zabriel and Onderz.
Just as I’m approaching the bridge over the canyon back to the castle, a white dragon alights in front of me with a great whoosh of air and a sparkle of wings. A massive man in pale riding leathers slides down Nilak’s flank, and two booted feet hit the ground in front of me.
Stesha pulls me into his arms and drops a kiss onto the top of my head. “Wonderful,” he murmurs, in a deep, velvety voice.
My surprise melts into pleasure. I close my eyes, wrap both my arms around his waist, and press my cheek to his chest. Gods, it’s been too long since he held me like this.
“Are you talking about my mission?” I say into the folds of his open jacket without opening my eyes. His heart is thumping in my ear, heavy and slow.
“Of course.”
Before I can soak up all his warmth and scent that I’m craving, he pulls away from me. My smile slips as he steps back, but I quickly affix it into place before he notices my disappointment.
“How do you know it went well?” I ask.
“Everywhere I flew, the dragons were warning one another about the storm that Zenevieve and Minta scouted. Are you hungry? I want to eat alone.”
By alone, he means just with me in our rooms rather than in the Great Hall. “Starving,” I tell him, and we bid goodbye to our dragons.
A short time later, we’re sitting at the table in our rooms overlooking the dragongrounds, eating cold meats and pickled vegetables.
Stesha says very little. Usually our silence is comfortable, but today there’s a pricking in my flesh, and I can’t get my earlier conversation with the other Alphas out of my head.
Does Stesha have a lavish? I don’t know where he goes during his ruts, but if it’s to the ruthouses, maybe there’s someone discreet whom he pays, and I have no idea about it because he keeps it strictly private.
Maybe he goes to the same Beta every rut.
Maybe he’ll take her as his mate someday.
Mournfully, I picture him so consumed by desire for this unknown woman that he drops his severe, cold manner, pulls her into his arms, and kisses her with as much passion as Dandro kisses Cariss. Jealousy erupts in my heart.
“Stesha, do you have a lavish?” The words burst from my lips before I can stop myself.
My cheeks burn, but then I feel a defiant swoop in my chest. Well, why shouldn’t I ask?
In all the years I’ve lived with Stesha, he hasn’t wanted to speak about his ruts, but I’m eighteen now.
I’m a dragonrider in the king’s army. I’m not a child anymore.
Of course, that doesn’t make Stesha’s ruts any of my business, but it’s too late now. I’ve asked.
Stesha is picking up the dish of sliced meat when he freezes. He drops the dish back onto the table and his eyes narrow in anger. “Which Alpha has been pestering you? Who wants you to be his lavish? What’s his name?”
I frown in confusion. “Me? No one has been pestering me.”
“Because if an Alpha is—”
I laugh and shake my head. “Stesha, I’m asking about you, not me. I saw Dandro and Cariss together this afternoon, and I’m curious.”
Stesha glares at me for a long time, and then he reaches for the meat once more. “A strange thing to be curious about.”
“Why strange? I’m interested in the lives my fellow dragonriders lead,” I say, pretending my interest is casual when really I’m burning to know everything about him. “Do you have a lavish?”
Stesha looks at me through his pale lashes and says nothing. He glances at the dish of cold meat. “Does this ham taste too salty to you?”
I sigh and sit back in my seat. I’ve long been aware that the man I most care about in the world is as stubborn as a mule.
He eats in silence for a long time, watching me. Finally he says, “Some Alphas make use of lavishes. I don’t.”
“Why not?”
His eyes narrow. “What were you told about lavishes?”
I shrug. “Just that lavishes are Betas who join Alphas for their ruts, either for fun or money. I suppose Cariss joins Dandro for fun.”
“Cariss and Dandro?” Stesha says scornfully. “Who has been speaking with you? What is the name of this idiot who doesn’t know what they’re talking about?”
“I was speaking with Zabriel and Onderz,” I admit, hoping I’m not about to get them into trouble. They’re too old these days for Stesha to yank from their beds and lecture for an hour, but he could insist they all spar and give them a beating.
Stesha’s expression flattens into anger. “I might have known. Don’t listen to anything those young fools have to say.”
“But why are they foolish? Are they wrong? Dandro and Cariss looked sweet together.” There’s a wistful note in my voice as I remember how hungrily Dandro kissed his Beta and how happy she looked in his arms. They’re probably naked together right now.
Gods, to be with the only man I want while growing drunk on the scent of his rut.
Stesha seems reluctant to go on, but with a sour expression on his face, he says, “There’s nothing sweet about them.
Dandro will keep Cariss around for a few more rut cycles and then he’ll grow bored with her and move on.
I have seen him do it before, and he will do it again.
If he comes anywhere near you, I will drown him in the lake. He’s a monstrous bastard.”
My eyes widen in surprise at the heat in Stesha’s voice and the anger flashing in his icy blue eyes. I don’t understand why he should disapprove so strongly of an Alpha sleeping with a Beta, which is something I thought happened all the time. “But, Stesha…”
He pushes his plate away, gets up, and heads for the door.
He stops in the doorway with his back to me, fists clenched.
Finally, he turns around. “There are lavishes who work in the ruthouses down in the city. Those men and women see different Alphas all the time and because they never form an emotional attachment, they are safe and healthy. Many Alphas are grateful for their company and will pay them well, if that’s what the Beta wants.
That is not what is going on between Dandro and Cariss.
She’s lost her heart to him over the course of several of his ruts, and he has let it happen.
What is going to happen to her is painful, despicable, and cruel. ”
I feel a trickle of apprehension, and I ask in a small voice, “What’s going to happen to Cariss?”
“When Dandro rejects her, the shock of it will mean that she’ll stop eating and she will sicken.
Her insides will wither along with her heart, and she’ll cough up blood and grow so weak that she’ll be unable to ride her wyvern for weeks, or even months.
She may die. This is not her feelings getting hurt.
Do you understand? Lavish sickness is brutal. ”
“That’s terrible,” I cry. “But how do you know he’ll move on? Maybe he truly does wish to mate her.”
“He does not. I’ve seen him do this twice before. Cariss was warned about him by the Temple Mothers, and so was his last lavish, but they wouldn’t listen. The sick Betas go to the Flame Temple to be cared for, and Dandro pretends they never existed.”
“Oh,” I say in a small voice, upset that the sweet kisses I witnessed earlier are actually something sinister.
“So no, I don’t have a lavish,” Stesha says. “No Alpha should ever have a lavish, but there is nothing wrong with visiting a lavish.” He sits back down at the table and fills his cup from the jug of ale. “Can we change the subject now? I’d rather not discuss these matters with my ward.”
If I were braver, I’d say, I’m not your ward, I’m the grown woman living in your house. I’ve held no man in my heart but you ever since I saw you that day at the dragongrounds when I returned to Lenhale.
I rest my chin on my hand and smile at him. “You not seeing a lavish is probably for the best. If you did, she couldn’t help but fall for you.”
“You have a provoking mouth tonight,” he mutters.
I mean it sincerely, but Stesha seems to think I’m teasing him.
Some women like serious and grumpy men. When they’re tender, when they smile, it’s lovelier than the sun coming out after a dark and stormy night.
A smile from Stesha always feels special.
“I’m serious. And I think you’re very honorable for not wanting to cause a Beta that kind of pain. ”
“It’s not honor. It’s basic Alpha decency.”
I sigh. Stesha refuses to be anything but argumentative with me, but perhaps the subject of lavishes has gotten on his nerves.
If Cariss understands what’s going to happen to her, then she just doesn’t care because being with Dandro during his ruts and feeling his teeth in her neck is worth the pain that will come later.
I glance at Stesha surreptitiously. I’d risk coughing up some blood for the chance to be held and kissed by Stesha.
And, oh gods, to spend his rut with him and be the sole focus of his insatiable attention? I’d die from bliss.
But I don’t have to be his lavish to experience that. I could be his mate.
Flicking my gaze at him, I say, “I suppose if you found the right Beta, you would just make her your mate.”
Stesha is drinking from an earthenware cup, and suddenly he slams it down on the table, gets to his feet, and strides out of the room.