Chapter 28 #4
Stesha holds me tighter, lowers his head, and drags his dragines across my throat, making me moan.
“My fierce little Omega. I apologize. I’ll stop tormenting you, but how it hurt to see you always flying the queen’s colors and never mine.
The whole of Lenhale was cheering for me, but it felt as though everything was silent without your support. ”
Can he possibly be sincere? I can’t trust him if he’s in a rut. The last time Stesha gave in to desire for me, he was in a rut, but I can’t smell that he isn’t in one now. His scent is rich, but not musky. “You had enough people cheering for you, and I’m not an Omega.”
Stesha kisses the marks he left on my neck, and he says huskily, “It’s faint.
I have to be this close to you to catch it.
Your scent is sweet with raspberries, honey, and fresh white linen.
The deep woods on a hot summer’s day. All my favorite things, aash’lin.
This is an Omega’s perfume, not a Beta’s scent.
Your scent was always pretty, but this…” He breathes in deeply. “You’re intoxicating.”
“I said I’m not an Omega.” But I sound less certain now.
His voice grows soft and gentle. “Then why can I smell my mate, and why can I feel her slick soaking through her clothes?” One of his arms is under my thighs. As I press them together, I feel a wet sensation. That’s strange, but it’s just because of… It’s just from…
I can’t think of an explanation.
“But I would know if I’d suddenly turned into an Omega and started perfuming.”
Stesha smiles and presses kisses all over my face.
“I knew the day that I caught you in our rooms, stealing my clothes. Gods, I couldn’t believe it.
You’re perfuming. Haven’t you noticed the signs?
You are sensitive to the light. You cower away from loud noises and open skies.
These were never your habits. Tell me why this should be if you are not an Omega. ”
Tears well up in my eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t understand anything that’s happening.”
Nilak lies down upon the cool ground. Her wing unfurls, and she crooks it in invitation.
“Would you like to shelter under Nilak’s wing?” Stesha whispers in my ear.
I bury my face in his shoulder to blot my tears. “Please. Yes, I would.”
Stesha keeps me tight against him with one of his arms while he pulls blankets from Nilak’s saddle bags and puts them on the ground. He lays me down carefully, stretching his body out beside mine. Nilak’s wing covers us, making a small, dark, cozy space around us.
“How is this happening? I don’t understand.”
Stesha holds me close and speaks in a soft voice. “There was poison in your blood. Mistress Hawthorne rid you of it.”
“But I was never poisoned. I would have remembered such a thing.”
“I think you were poisoned and you didn’t notice.
Emmeric made snide comments to me over the years, calling me a fool for not noticing what was right under my nose.
He meant you. My mate. You were right under my nose.
Living in my house. Riding with me on my dragon.
An Alpha’s pride is that he always knows his mate, and he took that away from me. ”
But I spoke to Emmeric as little as possible, and I never accepted any food or drink from him. I try to remember anything strange, but I can’t.
Stesha is watching me closely. All my need for him is echoed in his eyes. It’s all I ever wanted, once upon a time.
I turn my head away from him. “You only want me now that you know I’m an Omega. If I wasn’t good enough for you before when I was a Beta, you don’t get to suddenly decide I’m acceptable now.”
“I have only wanted one mate all my life. My mate. I have been true to her and no one else. I have been so constant that it has nearly killed us both.”
“You should have known it was me,” I accuse.
Pain crosses his face. “Yes, I should have. I’m so sorry, Zen.”
If Stesha is right, and I’ve been an Omega and fated to him all along, then all this suffering has been for no reason.
Tears crowd in my throat and well up in my eyes.
I never used to be such a crybaby, but ever since the queen’s crone gave me that potion, my emotions have been so raw.
So close to the surface. I wonder if this is what it’s like for all Omegas.
“I wish you had known,” I sob into the front of his shirt.
“I knew. I knew it was you who was my mate.”
Well, I never knew Stesha was my Alpha, but I felt that there was a connection between us. I only ever wanted him.
Stesha smooths the tears from my cheeks.
“Do you remember when you cut your hand on Minta’s scale in these mountains?
I healed the cut, and I tasted your blood.
It was so sweet. It hummed through me. I tasted something, so faint, but it was there.
I should have known then. For years, I was tormented by the knowledge that my Omega was close by but I couldn’t reach her.
You knew, but I wouldn’t listen to you. I’m so sorry, Zen. Please tell me I’m not too late.”
After all that’s happened, all the heartbreak and pain, how can it be anything but too late?
Stesha takes my hands and kisses my palms, and then he presses them against his chest where his heart is thundering.
“If you never trust me again, I will understand. If you lock your heart up in a box and seal it away from me, I will never reproach you for it, but I will forever be searching for the key.”