The Dragons’ Eternal Mate (The Dragons of North Oak #3)

Rowan

After a while, all the roads started to look the same.

Especially in the dead of night, when the scenery around me had been reduced to the small area in front of my car, illuminated by the headlights. Driving in the dark had an eerie quality, and I watched the sides of the road, waiting for something to jump out at me from the vast expanse of darkness.

I had no idea how long I had been driving.

It had been at least a day because the sun had risen and set since I had left North Oak.

I hadn’t stopped. Not once, not even for a bathroom break.

The terror gripping me pushed me forward, through exhaustion and hunger.

Even when my hands had cramped on the wheel and my legs had started to go numb, I kept driving.

Only now, that fear was becoming less frantic with every mile I put behind me, the tightness in my chest loosening to a dull throb, and the reality of my situation was sinking in.

I hadn’t left with a destination in mind.

I’d just gotten into the car and driven like a bat out of hell.

Now, I was starting to notice the slow changes in the world around me, from tall trees and undeniable green, to sparse pasture, then to more sparsely populated desert, sand replacing grass, rocks and boulders replacing shrubs and brush.

The roads were familiar, and I drove along them without thinking about it. I didn’t need to, operating on instinct and memory. All I knew was I needed to find somewhere safe. And there was one place in the world that I could think of, where I would want to go.

Well, that was a lie.

Where I truly wanted to be was with my clan, but that wasn’t safe. Not for me, not for my mates if I’d stuck around. Tanner, despite everything, had been clear. If I had stayed, my past was going to come for me, for my mates.

I couldn’t let that happen.

My chest constricted at the thought of them, fear mixing with regret and sorrow so much that it choked me. Bastian, Orsen, Greylen, and Phoenix were probably freaking out. I’d left without a word, just fled into the night like a coward.

There was no other choice, though. I had to protect them—protect myself—so I’d just done it.

I was running on pure instinct, and I needed to get to safety.

No one was safe at North Oak with Cyrus there.

I was only human; I couldn’t fight back.

He’d nearly killed me one time already. I couldn’t stand up to him again, terror locking my muscles even as I considered it.

Stop, Rowan. You’re here.

The thoughts felt disconnected, hardly my own, but I managed to slow the car, blinking to focus on what was in front of me.

When I reached the large gates, I didn’t have to ring the bell to get anyone’s attention.

The oversized, electric wooden structure opened, letting me drive down the ridiculously long driveway.

It was the middle of the night, but the desert was still warm—honestly, I’d gotten used to the chillier temperatures in the east, and I preferred them.

Like most of the southwest hordes, the lands belonging to the Southern Dust Lands Horde were enormous. Almost unbelievably so.

When I pulled up outside the main building, a familiar face appeared, striding through the oversized front door and coming to my side of the car to open my door. My legs shook, the adrenaline dissipating, leaving me utterly exhausted and muddled.

“Rowan?” the familiar voice greeted me.

“Alpha Ash.” I did my best to smile, but it didn’t reach my face.

Ash was not only the Alpha of the Southern Dust Lands Horde, but I considered him a friend, a landing point where I could stop moving for a second.

“What brings you out here? And at this hour?” he asked, his brows pinched together as he regarded me, clearly concerned.

“Greeted by the Alpha? I must be special.” I chuckled dryly, words difficult to form, thanks to a heavy combination of physical exhaustion and emotional upheaval.

Ash laughed. “Most are asleep. Theo is inside,” he said, mentioning his second. “But no call? What’s up? You… Rowan, you look exhausted.”

I shook my head, swallowing a sob as the emotions I’d pushed down for days bubbled to the surface. Despite my best efforts, I just couldn’t speak.

“Hey.” His expression went from confused to worried as he tugged me into a hug. “Tell me what’s wrong. You know if I can help, I will.”

In many ways, Ash had been a big brother to me. He had supported my decision to leave and had even bought my SUV for me—even though I knew full well that he wanted me to stay.

“I… I think we need to sit down and talk,” I replied softly, flittering between numbness and utter despair.

“Come in.” He guided me into the building. Given the late hour, there weren’t many people milling about, but there was the odd dragon here and there who turned to look at me, brows scrunched, eyes narrowed. Some faces were familiar, some were not. It’d been years since I’d been here.

“Let’s get you into the warmth.” Ash gestured at a few people who thought to approach, telling them that he had me and to move my car. I didn’t remember when I’d given him my keys.

He smoothed the few ruffled feathers of those around us, saying I was a friend in need of help, and I didn’t argue.

Hell, I didn’t speak at all. The next thing I knew, I was in a small room, sitting on a bed with a dragon standing in the doorway I hadn’t seen in ages staring at me, so much worry painted over his face that I wanted to scream.

But I didn’t.

Ash left for a moment, getting up and going to the door. He opened it; apparently, someone had knocked, and he came back with a bottle of water. After cracking open the lid, he handed it to me.

“Here.” He nodded at the bottle. “Tell me what’s going on. Last I heard, you were out in the Three Ridges area.”

“Close,” I whispered, taking a sip, realizing abruptly that I hadn’t had any in a long time. “I’ve been at North Oak for the last two months.”

Ash frowned. “North Oak? I haven’t heard from them in a while. That’s a stretch for you. Usually, you’re constantly moving around.”

“Yeah. Well…” You’ve been running, Rowan. That’s what you were doing… Are doing. Running. “It’s a long story, but I found out where I’m from.”

His brows rose, and Ash leaned in. “You did? You found out… who attacked you? How the heck did you manage that from the other side of the country?”

Tears filled my eyes, and I sniffled loudly. It was gross. I was gross. I hadn’t slept or eaten. I was alone. And I’d been avoiding thinking too much about everything. But as Ash asked, the weight of reality hit me, precise as a bullet, intense as an explosion.

“Ash… It’s so fucked. It turns out I’m the mate of the North Oak Alpha clan, all four of them. Years ago, when the old Alpha found out his son wasn’t going to rule on his own because of it—because of me—he was furious, unhinged. He had someone try to kill me.”

Ash reared back, looking at me in surprise. “You’re the Alphas’ mate?” He shook his head, trying to rationalize everything, to put it into order. “Holy fuck, Rowan. We knew there was a chance you were aware of dragons because of what happened, but this is…”

“I know. I only just found out… about the attack. When I did… the guy was convinced he’d do it again. That he’d hurt me, hurt the other Alphas. I just… panicked. I got in my car, and I drove. I didn’t even realize where I was until I saw the gates.”

Ash pulled me in for a hug. “You’re more than welcome to stay here. The horde will welcome you back with open arms. Even if it’s only temporary.”

“I don’t know if it’ll be temporary. How am I supposed to go back when he’ll try to ki—” My voice cut off, and I trembled, my eyes burning as tears dripped down my face. “I’m human, Ash. If an Alpha wants me dead, I’ve got no chance!”

It was hitting me just how vulnerable I truly was. I had been stupid, putting myself at risk at every turn by being stubborn. Antagonizing Alphas, staying in North Oak when I knew there was danger there.

“Hey.” Ash forced me to meet his eyes. “You’re safe. No one here is going to hurt you. Take your time, regroup. We can discuss this more when you’ve rested.”

“I just left… I didn’t even tell them. My mates…”

“Give yourself time, Rowan. Rest. I can send word to them, tell them you’re safe in the morning if you want.

You look dead on your feet. When was the last time you slept?

Or ate?” Ash regarded me, and I shrugged, exhaustion firmly taking hold.

“Well, it’s all right. You can pause for a second. Your old rooms are still there, too.”

My brows shot up as I leaned back. “Really? You don’t have a new healer in them?” I sniffed.

Ash cocked his head, the gesture nonchalant. “Cormack works from an office attached to the facility, but I made it clear your rooms were to remain untouched, in case you ever wanted to come home.”

Home.

As he said the word, I couldn’t help but notice how wrong it felt. My stomach pinched, a rising nausea following right on the footsteps of a pain in my heart so great that I was sure it’d kill me. So much was trying to, apparently. If Cyrus didn’t do it, the grief would do me in, anyway.

There was no winning this. Even here, among friends, I felt adrift, unconnected to the people and place. I wasn’t the Rowan who’d lived here before. I wasn’t Emmeline, either. I didn’t know who I was.

I was back at my beginning, yes, but I wasn’t sure I was home.