6. Rowan
Rowan
So much pain. Endless streams of it. My skin burned; a relentless throbbing ache echoed through my entire body with each heartbeat.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered learning about chemical burns, how they would keep burning, keep affecting the flesh, if something wasn’t done to stop it, a dampening agent, or what have you.
That’s what it felt like, constant liquid needles sliding under and through my skin.
I screamed and screamed, writhing on something like a bed, the smell of campfire and wood surrounding me.
“Shh. Shh, now. I’ve got you. We’ll get this fixed, you hear me? Hang on.”
I knew that voice, but I hadn’t then. It was Kiki. Through bleary eyes that rained tears, I looked up at her. I wasn’t sure; the worry and panic were just as thick and unwieldy as the agony that consumed me. I didn’t understand how it was possible to both know her and not.
And, still, I knew it couldn’t get any worse.
This was the most horrendous pain I’d been through in my entire life.
Then it hit me. I couldn’t remember why.
I couldn’t remember how. Memories of what had been done to me and how I’d wound up there were just…
gone. The sharp stitching through my skin swelled and ebbed in a pattern I couldn’t parse out, all across my stomach and sides.
The pinpoint sensations were so vivid. As I looked down at them, the room around me in a blur of indistinguishable objects, the shimmering appearance of my skin expanded, dissolving me like acid.
“Oh God! No, make it stop!”
“Shh, now, little human. You need your rest.” Kiki smiled, warm and sympathetic, but as the space around me filled with her gentle singing, the words garbled, but the tune so memorable, all that acidic shimmer ate me up, until the room stretched into the distance, and I descended further and further into a void of black and oil-slick pain.
“Ah!” I bolted upright, drenched in sweat, the beating of my heart deafening. I looked around, slowly realizing that I wasn’t in Kiki’s hut.
I’m back. I’m with my Alphas. They brought me home. I’m… safe?
I’d had my fair share of nightmares after the attack.
As I sat there, I ran my fingers over my stomach, tracing the ridges of the dragon fire scars.
That dream had been different, not just the usual memories of the agony, but fear that it was going to happen again.
I was safe, of course. There was no one out there to get me.
The “kidnapping” had just been a desperate dragon looking out for his mate.
“You’re all right, Rowan,” I murmured. “You’re good.”
Kiki’s tune still hummed in my mind, and I found myself singing the notes because the words were lost on me. That familiar melody smoothed out the rough edges, helping my pulse return to normal. She had always been a damn good healer, and she was proving as much even now. God, I missed her.
Looking around, I noticed the first inklings of sunlight peeking through the trees surrounding the house, my curtains left open. It would be light soon enough. When I checked the clock on the nightstand, I wasn’t surprised to see it was just before five in the morning.
Well, there’s no point in going back to sleep now.
I stretched, my body sore and stiff from all the walking, not to mention crouching and the odd positions I got into while helping Allison deliver.
I rubbed my joints at the elbows, my neck, my knees, then I got out of the bed and padded over to the closet.
I’d go down to the clinic. I was pretty sure the place was still a mess after everything.
If I were going to start seeing patients again, I needed to get it back in working order.
The door to my room creaked as I stepped out into the hall, the sound immediately followed by, “You’re up early.”
I jumped, careening into the wall, and then whipped around. Grey was standing in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest, wearing casual gym clothes. He fought back a grin as I righted myself and narrowed my eyes at him.
“Geez, Greylen. You scared the crap out of me.” I stomped off in his direction, because that was the way to the clinic, giving him a playful shove. “You should wear a bell.”
He laughed, rolling his eyes. “That would certainly defeat the purpose, now, wouldn’t it? Going to the clinic?”
I dipped my head, continuing to walk toward the rear entrance. “Yes. I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I might as well be productive. I’ve still got patients to see, and I have a feeling the place needs a good tidy.”
“Want a hand?”
Shooting Grey a look, I cocked my head before shrugging. “Sure. I would’ve thought you had better things to do, but I could use the help.”
He shrugged back. “Eh, just the gym. This’ll work well enough.”
We walked in companionable silence as we made our way to the clinic. The door wasn’t sitting right as we approached. I stopped, frowning as I peered through the open crack, caused by the damaged hinges.
“Don’t suppose you have tools, do you?”
Grey dipped his chin. “I can get them. Be back in a flash.”
I pressed inside the clinic while Grey went to get his stuff. It wasn’t too horrible inside, not like how I’d originally found it, but my files were scattered everywhere. Plus it was obvious that Bastian had been less than careful when he’d come here in search of the supplies.
“Well, this is going to be… annoying.”
Still, I started gathering the papers from the floor, ready to get them sorted so that I would be prepared for my patients who needed follow-up care. When I was finished, there was a hefty stack, and I sat at my desk in the office to organize them.
Before long, Grey showed up, getting to work on the door. He had it back in place in a matter of minutes. I had to admit I was thoroughly impressed. I offered him a smile as he walked over from the front door, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.
“Good as new, which, considering this place was junk not too long ago, should fill you with the utmost confidence.” He approached the desk, handing me something.
I was surprised when a key landed in my palm.
“I changed the locks. I also told some of the handy horde members to install locks on all the windows. You’ll also have a security system fitted later tonight. ”
A scoff broke free, followed by a chuckle. “You did all that just now?”
“No.” Grey shook his head, turning the corners of his mouth down. “I had that in the works the moment we couldn’t find you.”
My stomach clenched, and I shot my eyes to the papers in front of me.
I knew the situation with Allison and Colin had been more than complicated, and I really had no anger toward them because I understood their desperation.
But it was occurring to me more and more how much my sudden disappearance had affected my…
mates. Bastian and Orsen were undoubtedly furious, and I remembered that frantic, desperate look in his eyes when he saw me again—both times.
It was impossible to deny how much my “kidnapping” had upset the guys.
I could see it now, on Grey’s face, when I dared to sneak a glance at him.
Guilt swelled in my gut, making it churn. “I didn’t mean to… It was hardly my goal to get kidnapped. I hope you know that.”
“I can’t speak for the others”—Grey cocked his head, his eyes flicking to the side, and I could just picture Orsen and Bastian glaring in his mind—“but I never assumed that. I understand why they’re pissed, though.”
My eyes flared wide, and I felt like disappearing under my desk. “There were circumstances. An unborn baby was involved! Surely, you—”
“It’s not that, Rowan.” Grey shook his head, resting his hip on the desk, his arms over his chest. “It’s the fact that, not only were you gone—again—but the person responsible can’t be brought to justice. Again.”
I sagged in my chair, leaning backward. “I… I hadn’t thought of that.”
At least this time, they knew who’d kidnapped me and why. They just couldn’t get a pound of flesh from it.
“I get that. I do. And you seem damn good at seeing things from others’ perspectives, so maybe…
try that now?” Grey met my eyes. He wasn’t pushy, which was probably a big part of the reason I was actually hearing him out.
“We lost you once before. I don’t think any of us can go through that again.
And we still don’t know what happened. Why you left, how you got those scars, who did it: it’s all still up in the air.
I’ll be the first to tell you, I don’t fucking like it. ”
I pressed my lips into a thin line and busied myself with scanning over the patient files again, running my fingers along the edges.
They were so soft that I didn’t worry about giving myself a papercut.
My mind went back to the nightmare as Grey lingered on my desk, his breathing painfully loud.
I didn’t know what’d happened, just like the Alphas.
If I were being honest with myself, that lack of knowledge, the way the truth had been taken from me, had been one of the hardest parts of healing, of moving on with my life.
It had been a big reason why seeing them all again had felt too heavy.
I wanted to shove all that angst away and pretend it never happened, which was not the best coping mechanism, sure.
And I knew that, even if the guys had wanted to do the same, they couldn’t.
Every time they saw each other, every time there was a wedding or birth or even just mated dragons being visible, they’d be reminded of what they once had… Of what was stolen from them.
Having a target for all that rage and grief felt better than aimlessly going about their days, I had no doubt. And now, after the stunt Colin had pulled, they were remembering it all over again, worried all over again, and still unable to take out their frustration all over again.
“I’ll talk to them.” I looked up at Grey. “And I’m sorry. You… you must’ve been really worried.”
“And pissed.” He met my eyes, completely straight-faced, but then a smirk cracked his composure.
“I don’t like how easy it was for him to pull that off.
It brought back a lot of memories. I’m not going to let that happen again.
You may not see it, but nothing is more important to me than you.
Your happiness, your health, and your well-being.
You’re it for me, Rowan. I take that seriously. ”
I smiled back at him, reaching across the desk for his hand. “Thank you. Really. If the circumstances had been different, if it wasn’t Colin in need of help, I’m not sure what I would have done.”
“Eh, you’d have handled it. You have a way of taking care of yourself. I’d just be happier if you didn’t need to do that ever again.”
“You and me both.” I sat back, patting the files on my desk. “I need to go through these, make sure I’m ready to open up again.”
Grey stood, probably moving to leave, but I was quick to add, “But you’re welcome to stay and… keep me company.”
A grin stretched across his face, and it occurred to me I didn’t see him do it all that often, not like this. He was gorgeous when he smiled. Without a word, he pulled up the patient chair across from my desk and leaned back, pulling out his phone.
I didn’t say thank you again, because I had a feeling he already knew. So we sat there, both busying ourselves as the quiet returned, just… enjoying each other’s presence.
I’ll make it up to them. I will.