Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
“We found him.”
I go still, my gaze locked on the tile floor of the bathroom. My hand tightens around the phone.
We found him.
I don’t even ask who. There’s only one name that could follow those three words. One ghost important enough to uproot my entire world.
“Is he okay?” My voice sounds rough, like it’s in as much shock as the rest of me.
“He’s alive. That’s all I know. I’m texting you the address now.”
My nod is instinctive. My brain is already somewhere else. “I’ll leave tonight.”
“Uh, no. You won’t. You have two shows this weekend.”
I hate that this isn’t a video call, so our manager can’t see my glare. Or my middle finger.
“Are you kidding me, TJ? We found Luke! Forget the shows. I’m going to see him.”
“Casey…” His tone has morphed from friend to manager. “Don’t make me regret giving you this information. You have to do the shows. The Label pulled all kinds of strings to get you in. Another screw-up and you guys are done. You know this.”
I clench my eyes shut, breathing hard. He’s right.
I know he’s right. Our career has been sputtering into nothing since Luke disappeared.
Night Shifts Black without Luke Craven is like pizza without the crust and cheese.
For almost a year now, we’ve been limping from city to city as a glob of decent tomato sauce.
No one wants to see that. Well, no one except the diehard fans still in denial and the delusional dreamers who think this next show might be the one where Luke comes back.
They don’t know the real story behind the disappearance of their idol.
They didn’t pass out beside him on a cold gravesite and wake up alone in a hospital.
“We found him.”
Three words I prayed for every day, until so much time had passed I forgot to keep praying.
“You still there?” TJ’s voice is grating now.
My mind is already packing a bag, jumping on a plane, and flagging a cab to whatever address he’s about to send to my phone.
But I can’t. I can’t do anything except what I’m told now that Luke’s absence has made the rest of us irrelevant.
“Fine. But I’m going during the break before the Calisto Festival.”
“I understand. Just…” His voice fades, and even through the phone I sense his hesitation. His concern.
I clench my eyes shut at the words he’s not saying.
Don’t get lost again. Don’t you dare abandon us too .
“I won’t. Not this time. I promise. ”
He’s quiet for a moment. “Good. Be careful.”
I don’t respond as I hang up, open the text stream with TJ, and wait.
My heart hammers as I stare at the numbers on the door of the hotel suite.
4. 0. 3.
Luke knows I’m coming. The manager in the lobby wouldn’t let me near the elevator without a call to his room to confirm I’m a welcomed guest.
I got the approval to go up, so I know I’m a guest. Whether or not I’m welcomed, remains to be seen. Maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to knock. Time couldn’t pass quickly enough when TJ called to say they found Luke, but now that I’m here, I can’t move.
No one wants to learn someone they love doesn’t love them back.
With a deep breath, I lift my arm and tap my knuckles against the door.
Memories taunt me while I wait. I haven’t spoken to Luke since the night we almost overdosed at Elena’s burial site.
We woke up in separate rooms in the hospital, and by the time I was well enough to visit him, he was gone.
Just disappeared, leaving me alone with the fallout and a single handwritten note.
Sixteen words forever burned into my brain.
Casey:
I’m sorry. I love you too much to drag you to hell with me.
Luke
That was it. Our hello, goodbye, and forever .
Until now.
Shuffling at the door has my clammy hands clenching and unclenching at my side. Will he even let me in? Maybe he gave the hotel manager the okay just so he could tell me to fuck off in person.
The door opens…
A silhouette steps into view…
Time stalls.
Luke.
Real.
Alive.
I blink against the burn behind my eyes. Words fail me. Too many years of heartache and joy saturate the thick air between us.
His aqua eyes land on me, red-rimmed and glazed with pain and substances. A brief flash of life gives me hope of something better, but it quickly fades into resignation. He doesn’t even speak before stepping back and motioning for me to enter.
I swear I hear a sigh as I move past him.
The door shuts with a clatter that reverberates throughout my limbs. We hover in the foyer of the suite for several long seconds, neither of us sure what to do next. What words can repair two lives ripped apart by tragedy?
“Want a drink or something?” he asks finally.
His voice is different than I remember. Older, but not from time. His hair is longer as well, but short enough to know he’s had it cut since our last encounter. Same with the scruff on his face. The tattoos on his arms ripple with defined muscle, which means he’s been staying fit at least.
All these things inspire another glimmer of hope, until I see the garden of empty glasses scattered around the large open living space.
He’s been taking care of himself as a distraction, nothing more .
“Sure,” I say to buy time for my visit. If alcohol is the only thing he cares about, I’ll exploit it for all it’s worth.
He nods and saunters toward the minibar with an absent gait that makes it clear this is a practiced part of his day. How long has he been at this hotel? Why is he here?
When TJ sent me the address, I nearly choked. This city is the last place I expected he’d go. I can’t imagine what force would be strong enough to lure him back to this haunted location, but I guess that’s partly what I’m here to find out.
He hands me a glass without telling me what’s in it, then drops to the end of the L-shaped couch with his own. I don’t know what to do other than take a seat on the opposite side.
“How’d you find me?” he asks, his gaze fixed on the floor, like he doesn’t know if he can handle the answer to his own question.
“TJ. He didn’t tell me how he found you, though.”
Luke nods and takes a sip of his drink. “How have you been?”
“Great. So, so good. It’s been awesome losing my best friend and career in one night.”
He flinches and finally gives me his attention. I try to rein in my anger, but fuck if I know how this is supposed to go.
“I’m sorry, Case,” he says quietly, looking away again. There’s no fight in his words. No emotion. Like everything else, it’s just a thin gloss of “human” stretched over a void.
“Yeah, me too. Although, I guess you knew that from the twenty messages I left before your mailbox was full. I’m fine, by the way. No permanent damage from that night. Unless you count the lingering trauma and constant nightmares. What about you?”
His gaze shoots to mine before diverting back to the floor. “I said I was sorry before I disappeared.”
“I’m assuming you’re referring to ‘the note,’ because you haven’t said a damn thing to me for almost an entire fucking year.”
He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at me this time.
I suck back the rest of my tirade. I have months of anger, betrayal, heartache, and love to spew at him.
Months’ worth of a phantom life he should have been living with me but chose to abandon instead.
I could fill the next ten days with the hell I went through after he left, but now that I’m here, none of it seems right.
He’s already broken. I see it in the slow movements of his body, the empty look in his eyes. The few words he’s said prove there are none that will fix any of this. Handing him my pain will only destroy the little that remains of our relationship.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“No, I get it. You have every right to be angry. How’s your family? The band? Jana?”
“Jana?”
“I thought I saw something about you getting back together with her.”
I huff a laugh. “Yeah, I bet you did. She loved turning our business into a national headline. No, there’s nothing there. Never will be. And the family’s good, for the most part. Things with the band suck, but if you’re following headlines, you know that too.”
His jaw tightens, and I take a calming breath.
“What about you?” I ask. “How’s the last year been?”
It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, but his haunted look turns it into one. After a second, he directs his gaze back to the wall. The glass turns slowly in his hands as he considers my question. Or, more specifically, how to avoid it.
“Am I the first person you’ve spoken to since you left?” I try again, forcing a light tone. I even manage a weak smile when he looks up .
His expression doesn’t change, but at least he’s not kicking me out yet. “Actually, no.”
“Right. I guess you have the hotel staff.”
“Yeah, but I also made a friend. Sort of.”
Intrigued, and slightly jealous, I lean forward on the couch. “Really. Wow. Does this friend have a name?”
“Callie.”
Light flickers in his eyes for the first time since my arrival. It’s a strange contrast to the heaviness that surrounds him. Just as quickly, it’s gone, and he rubs a hand over his face.
“Callie, huh. So this friend is a she?”
“Yeah, but it’s not like that. She’s…” He shakes his head. “There’s no word for it. She just is. She’s just there. I don’t know.”
“I see.” The bitterness is back in my tone, drawing a sharp look from Luke.
His expression droops again when he realizes what that sounds like to me. She’s there, even though he’s made no room for me in his life.
“I’m sorry things went down the way they did, Case. Truly. And trust me, the diner situation is not something I asked for or saw coming.”
“The diner situation?”
“The thing with Callie. We have breakfast together.”
“You have breakfast together,” I say dryly. “And what?”
He shrugs. “And nothing. That’s it. We have breakfast together. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we don’t.”
I nod because I have no other response.
Jealousy simmers inside me again, and I force it away. I could be angry about it. I could be bitter that he let some stranger into his life while rejecting me. But I love him too much to not be grateful to this person for shining even the smallest light into his shadow.
There’s something special about this girl. I already know it from the way his eyes change when he talks about her. And I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to this story. Something heavy. Something epic I can’t begin to understand.
But now isn’t the time for that conversation. Luke is struggling just to stay in the moment. I get the sense he’d rather be left alone, and I don’t think I could bear that after finding him again.
“You staying over tonight, Case?” he asks, draining his glass.
Surprised, I glance at him to get a read on the offer. Is that sarcasm? There’s no humor in his expression. Not much of anything, really, just exhaustion. Yes, that’s it. He looks flat-out depleted.
“Sure, if that’s okay.”
He shrugs. “We can grab breakfast tomorrow before you go.”
“With your new girlfriend?”
I regret my joke the second it comes out. His gaze lowers, zero hint of a smile.
“It’s not like that, man. I told you.”
“I know. Sorry.”
“Callie is… special. She sees you, ya know?”
So he’s said. Still, seems like a stretch. I get that he’s grasping, but some random chick in a diner?
“And the fact that you’re Luke Craven of Night Shifts Black has nothing to do with her interest?” Someone has to say it, and even if I’m not the best man for the job, I’m the only one, apparently.
“That’s just it. She had no clue.”
“Really?” I try to keep my skepticism out of the equation. I’ve pushed him pretty far already.
“I’m telling you, dude. She’s different. Even when she found out who I was, it didn’t change anything. I’m still just Luke, and she’s just Callie.”
“Huh.”
Okay, maybe I’m a little more than intrigued. Still not sure I trust this girl, but she’s accomplished in a few breakfasts what the rest of us couldn’t do in months.
Even more telling, Luke’s eyes change when he talks about her.
The light flickers on for the briefest of seconds, giving a glimpse of what he could be.
It disappears just as quickly, but it’s enough to make me think a breakfast to check things out is probably a good idea.
Last thing we need is some opportunist taking advantage of his vulnerable state.
“She’s a pistol too. You wouldn’t guess it at first. She’s so sweet and genuine, but then bam, she’ll smack you with a one-liner that just rips the rug out.”
I smile to myself. Sounds more like my type than his.
“You’ll love her, Case. She could definitely handle you.”
Is he reading my mind? He always could. A virtual brother thing, and one of the biggest gaps in my life since he left. Funny how much we can miss something right in front of us.
I lean back on the couch with a smirk. “Handle me? I need to be handled?”
“Uh, yeah, dude. If that thing with Jana was any indication.”
“Eh, that’s over. Again.”
“Exactly.”
Fair enough. He doesn’t know the truth about the situation. No one I care about does.
“So you want me to go to breakfast to hang out with you, or to meet my future girlfriend?” I joke.
He thinks for a moment, a slight smile spreading over his lips. “Casey and Callie. Kind of has a ring to it, no?”
Maybe. And maybe I will stay for breakfast. What could a few eggs and toast hurt? I’ll need to eat before hitting the road anyway. Besides, I can count on one finger the number of times Luke has tried to set me up with a woman.
One: Callie, the breakfast club girl.
“I just wanted you to be okay, Case. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” His eyes search mine from across the room, begging me to understand something that can’t be explained.
“That’s why you left?”
He lowers his eyes. “I had to. I almost killed you too.” Stripped raw, his voice sends a shiver through me.
I want to argue, but maybe he’s right. Ignoring the truth does neither of us any good. It’s what got us here.
“You let me in this time,” I say quietly. “What’s changed?”
His saturated look has my hands clamping around the glass.
“Not what . Who.”
I lower my gaze to the amber liquid I haven’t touched.
Callie.
“Come with me tomorrow,” Luke says, a subtle plea in his voice. “I owe you so much. Let me introduce you.”
“You make it sound like you’re setting me up with my soulmate or something. How well do you even know this person?”
“You don’t have to know a lot of facts about someone to know them. Actions are way more honest than words.”
My chest is tight with a mix of emotions I can’t sort out. “I’m not looking for a relationship.”
His mouth lifts in a genuine smile for the first time since I arrived. “Neither was I.”