Chapter 27 #2
He nodded once. “Once Harriet is taken care of, the time will come when you and I will have to reconsider the purpose of this marriage and what our aims are. I married you to protect us both from scandal, of which Harriet was at the center. But when she is no longer in our lives, such a scandal will no longer be a consideration.”
Ophelia’s chest tightened because she knew where this was going. Again, she tried to look pleadingly at her husband, to make him understand what he was saying and why it was wrong.
“Adrian…” Her voice cracked again. “We married because of the scandal, yes. But that does not mean it is the only reason… there is more to this marriage than keeping a scandal at bay.”
“I do not see why,” he said without emotion. “This marriage was only ever for convenience, Ophelia. You knew this. And once that convenience had ceased to be so, so too should the marriage cease.”
She leaned back as if he had slapped her.
“Of course, to annul the marriage will invite its own sort of scandal,” he continued, ignoring her reaction.
“Which is why we will maintain the appearance of staying married together. That nobody thinks to question us it of utmost importance.” He looked right at her.
“I will not have another scandal on my hands.”
Ophelia’s mind turned as she tried to find the words needed to change his mind. There must be something!
“No, Adrian,” she attempted weakly. “That is not… I do not… you need this marriage. I know you do.”
“I think it will be best if once we find Harriet’s father, that we live separately,” he continued, ignoring her entirely.
“I will find you an estate to live on. I will ensure that you are looked after, that you never want for anything. But you will cease living here, Ophelia. Believe me when I tell you that it is for the best.”
The walls turned around her. The room suddenly felt small and claustrophobic. And Adrian, the man who she thought that she knew, who she thought that she was coming to fall for, was a stranger in her eyes.
He looked at her as if he did not know her. He looked at her as if he did not want to. And he looked at her as if daring her to argue so that he could put her in her place.
“Is that…” She swallowed. “Is that really what you want?”
“It is for the best,” he answered. “So, yes. It is what I want.”
Ophelia was not angry, because that was not her way. As for the fight that she had felt moments earlier? That was well and truly gone. Why fight for a man who did not want it? Why beg for a man who would not listen?
She had done everything that she had to. Slow and steady, never pushing, never forcing the issue. She had been the perfect wife, proving without question that their marriage might work. And still, it was not enough.
For that reason, Ophelia came to another decision. It hurt her like nothing else. It was a cold wind whipping at her, beating her into submission. It was… it was defeat felt plainly, paired with the realization that this was how things were always going to be.
Adrian is the man I always thought… I was just wrong about who that man was.
“If that is what you want, then so be it.” She drew herself up, refusing to look weak and beaten. “However, as you are so determined to put this marriage behind you, I do not see the point in waiting.”
“What?”
“As I will not wait around for when you feel it is convenient to dispose of me.” Her voice was a cold sneer, as was her glare. “You want me gone? Then I will leave.”
“Only after Harriet is –"
“Tomorrow,” she spoke over him. “I will begin to make arrangements tomorrow. Hopefully, I will find a place of my own in the coming days. The sooner, the better.”
Finally, Adrian allowed an emotion to show on his face. It was confusion, perhaps even sadness, as if he had expected her to fight…
“That will not do,” he said. “I will be the one who arranges for you –”
“I would not want to put you out,” she cut him off.
“I know how busy you are. Do not worry about me if you are capable of such a thing. And do not worry about your reputation. It will be as if I have gone on a little holiday, and by the time anyone thinks to question why I have been gone for so long, nobody will care. So, if you do not mind, I will handle this myself.”
His brow creased. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
They stared one another down, as if daring them to argue or rebuke.
Ophelia was done hoping, just as she was finished fighting and wishing.
Adrian had made his intentions known, and while she knew there was another side to him, more than what he was letting on, she wasn’t about to force him to realize it. In fact, she no longer cared.
“I am glad we had this talk,” she said. “And I will be sure to let you know my plans as I make them.” She turned to leave.
“Ophelia,” he called after her. She stopped, but she did not turn back… but that was just because her eyes had started to well with tears and she did not want him to see them. “This is for the best; I hope you know that. I only ever wanted… it has to be this way.”
“If you think so,” she said. “I will not try to change your mind.”
With that said, Ophelia stormed from the office, not looking back, not allowing herself to break until she was free from Adrian. She rushed down the halls, into her room, slammed the door shut, and fell on her bed.
It was only then, alone, nobody to see her, that Ophelia finally let the tears come.
There were tears for her situation, a future that she did not look forward to, just as she knew would be lonely and sorrowful.
There were tears for Adrian, the man she thought he was, and the man he would never be.
And they were tears for what could have been, taken away from her, and never came to pass.
They were tears of mourning, not the first she had shed, and certainly not the last.