Chapter 14
Cynthia
“Many apologies,” Teresa says as she gathers little Thomas in her arms. “I did not realize he’d be so hungry so soon.”
His warmth lingers, as does the emptiness in my arms. Forcing a smile to my lips, I nod.
“Do not fret,” Teresa laughs. “Once I’ve fed him, you can hold him once more.”
“You mean your wet nurse. Right?” Penelope asks.
“Of course not. I am a mother. This is as nature intended.” Turning, she untucks her fichu and positions Thomas before covering him back up and turning around. “Wet nurses are still most often employed, but my studies show there is a kinship when feeding your child yourself.”
I watch her in awe. “Is it not uncomfortable?”
She glances over at the triplets before giving me a sly smile. “Not nearly as much as other things could be. I’m sure once his teeth grow in, we will have to find some other method of giving him nourishment.”
“But does your husband not mind?” Georgiana asks as she leans forward, pressing the matter. “You would be chained to your son.”
“Trust me. Joseph has found this new page in our chapter most… illuminating. He supports my desire to be with my child and feed him as intended.”
“That must be why I haven’t seen you at any of the events,” I muse.
“Quite correct. I could employ a wet nurse so that I may dance about at night, but then I would also leak about. Not exactly the look I’m going for.”
The others chuckle, but I simply watch her, stunned and amazed. I knew Teresa was a bit radical, but this is most certainly illuminating.
The conversation turns easy as she continues to feed Thomas before pulling him away and patting his back. Once he’s settled, she puts him back into my arms and takes her seat again.
“Any time you wish to come and hold him, I would be most grateful. The conversation would be delightful as well. As much as I love Joseph, I do so long for the conversation of a woman.”
“I will keep that in mind.”
The minutes go by as Thomas lies asleep in my arms. I want nothing more than to just hold him close and cuddle for a few stolen moments. Unfortunately, all too soon, we must go back.
“Forgive the short visit,” Penelope says. “We are expected for dinner with the Duke of Redleigh and his wife.”
“Please do give them my love,” she says as she takes Thomas from me once more. “I hope to see her soon. It’s been too long since we’ve all come together. Truly.”
I sit in the carriage, silent, mulling over the events as we head back to the dowager duchess’s town house.
Even now, my arms feel empty as we rock back and forth over the uneven streets.
The triplets don’t even seem to care. They still have that bloom of youth, of the unknown.
Excited anticipation. How I wish I could go back to being that carefree girl.
As we enter, the footman steps forward with a bouquet of barely budded flowers and a note. The others gather around, nearly vibrating as I open it and skim the contents.
My Miss Campbell,
May our love bloom just as surely as these flowers.
With enough water and care, they will thrive. So will our affections in the upcoming days.
Yours,
David
“He signed his name,” Penelope shrieks. “He truly holds you in high regard!”
Georgiana takes the note and looks at it. “He is her betrothed. It would be odd to go into a wedding so formally.”
“Buds,” Sophia sighs. “Buds waiting to bloom. Oh, Cynthia, I do hope you will be happy with him.”
Without saying a word, I take the flowers and trudge up the stairs to put them into water. I wish I could feel something. I wish I could conjure some affection for this stranger I am to meet down the aisle. Unfortunately, there’s nothing.
Alessandra beams at me, her face glowing with that new love about her.
Ever since she and her husband became bonded, it’s as if there’s an internal light that shines from her.
With each light touch, with each stolen glance, I know they must be sharing some secret pleasure only the two of them could know.
Next to me, Henhaven chats amiably with those around him. Nothing much of import to me. Parliament matters. Others seem to like him well enough. I suppose that should be enough.
Dragging my spoon to my lips, I sip the soup and make the mistake of looking up.
Across the table, I lock my gaze with Charles.
He stares at me, watching me in a way that’s almost untoward.
Penelope, of course, notices his studious gaze and turns, following his line of sight down the table until she sees me.
Her eyes brighten as she lifts a hand to wave. Such excitement emanates from her body. I can almost feel it from here.
“You are quite friendly with the Barringtons,” Henhaven says. “Should I feel jealous of your affections?”
Soup catches in my throat at his words, and for a moment, I worry he’s caught onto what I do with Charles in secret. Turning, I cough as discreetly as I can until I’m able to take a breath once more.
“Forgive me, my lord. What is there to be jealous of?”
He chuckles and points to Penelope, who still watches me, her brows drawn down in concern. “Norhaven’s sisters seem quite taken with you. Will I have to fight them for your affections?”
Though said in jest, there’s a thread in his voice, a note I can’t quite place. But then, I do wonder if he’s truly inquiring after the sisters or if it’s concern for their brother after all.
“We’ve been fast friends since as long as I can remember. You might have to fight past them to get time with me.”
“Then I shall endeavor to arm myself properly.”
The others watch our minor repartee with soft smiles and gentle chuckles, not truly understanding the pain that pulses beneath my breast.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I reply, unsure of what else to say. “They will look beautiful by the window when they bloom.”
“Are you a connoisseur of flowers?” the Duke of Redleigh asks.
“I dabble a bit in their knowledge,” Henhaven replies. “But find myself woefully lacking.”
“Lewis Barrington, Duke of Whiteport, is an expert. If you wish to learn more, you could find a worse teacher,” he says in an easy tone.
“Barrington,” Henhaven murmurs. “I see. Am I to understand that the whole of London is shadowed by their pall?”
Though his voice is light and easy, I can hear the tension underneath. I’m sure by now he’s quite done with hearing about the Barringtons and their many accomplishments.
Redleigh merely chuckles as he brings up his glass. “It’s unfortunate for you to find yourself brought into this fray. We are all fast friends. A tight-knit group. But do not fret. It is not so hard to join us. Well… in some aspects.”
Alessandra slides a delicate hand over her lips to stifle a chuckle.
No doubt he means the nefarious acts they partake in at the Rose and Thorne.
One could only hope my intended would be part of such a group.
But then, I’m sure Charles would have said something, mentioned it to take me out of my misery.
“Tell me,” Henhaven says in an attempt to steer the conversation. “Did you receive my invitation to the opera?”
I dab my mouth with my napkin, stalling for time. “I did. Many apologies that I did not respond with a letter. I would be delighted to go.”
“Oh?” Alessandra asks, her interest piqued. “Which one?”
“La Clemenza di Tito at the King’s Theatre,” Henhaven says with a smile. “I’ve already secured my box.”
“Mozart!” Alessandra cries out, her face flushing with excitement. “Oh, dearest. I would love to go. Can we as well?”
Redleigh rolls his eyes as he turns to his wife. “You never allow me to surprise you with anything. How can I spoil you when you seem already two steps ahead of me?”
Again, I look over at Charles, who stabs his meat with his fork before cutting and drawing a bit of it to his lips. He will be there. Same as the triplets. Will I be able to survive knowing he will be so close?
The others talk around me, but I barely hear them. All I can do is keep holding Charles’s gaze as he continues to cut his meat. There’s promise there and a threat of retribution.