Chapter Eleven #3
‘You did,’ he agreed. ‘I am sorry. I knew he was difficult, but I did not imagine he could be so consistently cruel to you. Is he always thus?’
‘Except on days he is worse,’ she said, trying to smile. It was not much of a joke. The serious look he gave her in response made her wish she had not tried to make fun of it.
‘He should not have spoken to you that way,’ he said with a belligerent set to his jaw.
‘It’s all right,’ she said automatically.
‘No, it’s not,’ he insisted. ‘No one should be abused in that way. Especially not you.’
There was something in his voice that she could not place. A sense that he’d just said far more than a few words of encouragement. She suddenly felt precious. Cherished. Protected.
It was a heady feeling. She wanted more of it. ‘There is nothing particularly special about me,’ she said, toying with her wine glass, turning the stem in her fingers and watching the candlelight make little stars of the faceted crystal and hoping he had not noticed her begging for approval.
‘You think too little of yourself, Louisa, and he is to blame for it.’
Compassion. Stubbornness. Affection. A feast of emotions in a single sentence that she would tease out and savour at her leisure.
‘You are quite brilliant, you know,’ he added.
She laughed, for that compliment was a bit too much. ‘When have I ever been that?’
‘Percy has told me all about you,’ he said. ‘How you used to do his schoolwork before he was sent away. That he consults you about many of the decisions he makes now. Not to mention, I never see you without a book.’
‘Novels,’ she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.
‘Do not diminish your reading prowess,’ he replied. ‘It is a far more sensible pastime than drinking and gaming.’
‘Hobbies that are not encouraged for ladies,’ she said, echoing the stern voice she’d heard so often. ‘Grandfather says I should keep busy with needlework or painting if I want to attract a man.’
‘The world is overfull of bad watercolours and embroidered cushions,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to be making more of them if you prefer to do something else.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, relieved. Things sounded so reasonable when he said them. It made her feel quite normal.
‘And you do not need a man,’ he said, smiling.
‘I don’t?’ she said, smiling back.
‘You already have Tom Smith, remember?’
‘Of course.’ What had she expected him to say? It was not as if he was going to offer for her for real, after a single wayward kiss.
He went on without noticing the change in her mood.
‘As for the nonsense about the menus and what you might choose to eat?’ He nudged the butter dish even closer to her plate.
‘Do not think you need to starve yourself for economy or any other reason. You are lovely, just as you are. It would be a shame to see you waste away because of a spiteful old man.’
‘Thank you,’ she said softly. Then, she buttered the last bite of her roll and popped it in her mouth.
‘Beautiful,’ he said more firmly. ‘I happen to know that Tom Smith is quite taken with your appearance.’
She dipped an asparagus spear in the mayonnaise and nibbled the end. She swallowed and dipped again. ‘Tom Smith doesn’t exist.’
‘He is right across the table from you.’ His voice was lower than she’d heard it, husky and closer to a whisper. For a moment, she could almost believe that he was the imaginary stranger who had fallen in love with her and come to get the family’s approval.
Would it do any harm to believe in the lie, just for a moment? Slowly, she raised her eyes to meet his, willing herself to see the farmer who loved her.
‘Well, Tom…’ She stopped to take another sip of wine. ‘Will you tell me why it was necessary to dine with Grandfather? He has refused you once and will likely send you away after the scene you caused just now.’
‘Will that make you sad?’ he asked, his eyes locked on hers.
‘Do you wish me to be?’ she whispered.
‘I wish…’ He paused again. ‘That you would never be unhappy again.’ Something flickered in his eyes, as if he was imagining their future again. Then, it disappeared. ‘You must be away from here for that. It is why Percy and I lured your grandfather out of his room with our singing.’
‘What are you after?’ she said in a low, urgent tone. ‘I still do not understand.’
‘I can hardly impress on him my persistence as a suitor if he means to hide in his room all day, every day,’ he said turning playful again.
The duke was back and she did not like him nearly as well as she had at dinner. ‘I will not like it if meals as a family become a habit,’ she said with a shudder.
‘They will not bother you if you are leaving soon,’ he said airily, his smile never fading. ‘As I keep telling you, we are here to gain your freedom. When we do, it will not matter in the slightest if he eats in bed, or at table, or squatting in the garden with a plate balanced on his knees.’
For a moment, the image of her grandfather in that undignified posture put every other thought from her head.
She chased it away. ‘Do not try to distract me with jokes, Thomas. He is not a pleasant person. And while I do not know why he recused himself from our company, I am glad that he did. I was able to survive this evening’s meal because you were here to help me. How many times must I do this again?’
He stretched across the table, offering her his hands, although she was not sure if it was done with genuine affection or just part of the game he’d been playing.
The motive did not matter. She was helpless to resist. She put her hands in his, taking comfort in the warmth of them.
‘It will not happen again,’ he promised, as his finger brushed the gold and turquoise ring he’d given her.
‘My plan tonight was to lure him from his lair, as I would if I were hunting a vicious animal. There is no point in arguing with him in the bedroom. He is king of that kingdom. But here, he was wrong-footed. When I challenged him, he was driven from the room.’
‘And what have you proved by that?’ she asked, eager to understand. ‘He just went to his room again.’
‘He won’t want to cede the ground to me. He will be back down tomorrow, I’ll wager.’
‘You’ll wager?’ she said with a huff. ‘Such bets hold no risk for someone who is both rich and free to leave.’
‘You are giving me such a look,’ he said with a raised eyebrow. He tightened his grip on her hands. ‘It is surprisingly pleasant to see you glare at me.’
‘It was not my goal to amuse you,’ she replied, even more annoyed.
The look in his eyes changed. Suddenly, she was sure she was seeing the real Thomas Carew, who was so distracted by being near her that he’d lost his train of thought.
‘You never used to glare, you know. I have seen you smile, blush and look away if I get too close. Sometimes you even bat those lovely lashes of yours and make my thoughts scatter like butterflies. But none of those are adequate indications of what is going on in your mind.’ He tipped his head to the side, considering her.
‘Occasionally, you look worried, which I believe is genuine. But as for the rest? Now that I’ve had a chance to study you, I don’t believe those smiles one time in five.
You are not nearly as happy as you should be, Louisa.
I will not make you sit at a table with your grandfather again. ’
‘Thank you,’ she said and tried to smile. But after what he had said, it felt false. She’d spent too much time hiding her real feelings about so many things, she was unsure of how to respond. And he was still looking at her as if trying to peer directly into her heart.
She was not ready to show him everything, so she looked away. The next smile she gave him was definitely false. ‘I hope you do not think me a coward for not wanting to face him. It was not so bad, really.’
‘I’ll wager it was,’ he said, shaking his head.
‘And that you are lying to me again. But instead of money, I’ll wager a kiss.
’ He gave her another thoughtful look. ‘The perfect stake, I think. It will not matter whether I win or lose. The results are the same.’ Then, before she could think, he stood and leaned across the table to reach for her.
She was tired of talking and had no clue what her future might hold.
But she was sure that she wanted another kiss from Thomas.
So, she rose halfway out of her seat and let him pull her forward until their lips could meet.
It was awkward. Or perhaps it was simply she who was awkward. But when was she not?
This time, it wasn’t all her fault. The table was between them, which made kissing difficult. But not impossible. It was almost as perfect as yesterday’s had been, and that had been the kind of first kiss she’d always hoped he would give her.
Today, he took several tiny sips from her lips, short, sweet kisses that began and ended before she knew what had happened.
Then, as if he’d decided he liked what he was tasting, he angled his head and settled his mouth on hers.
His tongue was gentle against hers, coaxing and then demanding a response.
She thrust hers back exploring his mouth, shocked at her own brazen reaction. But she had to do something to show him she was not afraid. He was still holding her hands as if it was the only touch he would allow.
Her body ached to be nearer to him. No. Not near. Merged. Melded. One. Her breasts ached. Her nipples were hard. Her soul hummed with desire.
Without warning, he abruptly pulled away and sat down, reaching to the floor for the napkin that had fallen from his lap.
A second later, Percy came back into the room, seemingly unaware that she was still collapsing back into her chair, flustered and confused.
‘Well, that was a damned nuisance,’ Percy said, dropping back into his seat.
‘The old man would not let me go until he had rained ten kinds of hell down on me. He had never experienced such rudeness… et cetera, et cetera.’ He grinned at the duke.
‘It was worth it, though. I thought for a moment that he was going to have the fit that would end him.’
‘That was not my goal,’ Thomas replied wryly.
‘Tell him your plans, Thomas.’ As she said his name, she had to fight the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl after what they’d just done.
Percy stared at her, suspiciously, then looked down and then up again. And then over to Thomas, then quickly back to her.
Was it a signal? If so, she did not know what it meant. She smiled and shrugged.
‘You have spilled mayonnaise on your dress,’ he pointed out, then gave her a fond smile.
Of course she had.
‘Tell Percy your plans,’ she repeated as she dabbed at the smear with her napkin.
Thomas looked at Percy. ‘Well, we have lured him out of his room, which was the first step.’
Percy nodded eagerly.
‘And tomorrow, I suspect he will still be angry.’
‘Oh, I am certain of that,’ her brother said nonchalantly. ‘He was in a towering rage when I left him. He will be furious for days.’
Thomas smiled. ‘I predict he will come down to breakfast. Or lunch, at the latest.’
‘And then?’ Percy said.
Louisa looked up, waiting.
Thomas continued to smile. ‘And then, Tom Smith will do something to prove his immeasurable worth. Something that will far outweigh the paltry sum that he is keeping from your sister.’
Percy smiled, satisfied. ‘I am looking forward to it.’
Thomas looked at her, probably expecting similar affirmation.
She had no idea what to tell him. What he’d just said was not really a plan at all.
It was not even an outline of a plan. That would have required an ending.
It seemed he expected that, between now and lunch, a man who didn’t exist would perform some sort of miracle that would make everything right, in a way it had never been before.
She’d known that his first idea, to create Tom Smith, was a bad one that would never work. Now, when they were deep in the woods and he had promised to lead them out safely, it was clear he was without a compass. Without a clue.
Yet he was still looking to her for an opinion.
She gave him a glassy-eyed smile and said, ‘I am sure it will be wonderful, Thomas. Now that we have settled my future, I will call for dessert.’