Chapter Thirteen #3
His hands were on her before she could ask, covering them, palms rubbing warmth into them that did nothing to relieve the taut skin.
He lowered his mouth to take them, showering them with eager kisses as his hands found her waist, pulling her hips to his.
He backed her against the stone, again, sucking and biting as one of his hands raised her skirt.
She felt like an offering in some Pagan ritual, about to sacrifice her innocence under a full moon.
But she was a willing victim. She’d known this place all her life, been waiting for this moment, to become the woman she was meant to be.
No matter what was about to happen she wanted it to be with him.
Her skirt was crumpled between them now, and she could feel the night air on the bare skin above her stockinged legs.
He raised his face to hers, kissing her lips again before pulling away. ‘I want to watch you,’ he whispered.
‘What?’ She was not sure what was happening. His hands moved again, one cupping her bottom, the other sliding between her legs. His fingers raked through the delta of hair, before moving on.
She gasped, her breasts rising and falling in the moonlight.
He watched her breathe, his gaze as gentle as a fingertip, resting against them.
But the touch of his hands was like nothing she’d ever known, beyond anything she’d imagined.
He held her firm with one hand as the other explored.
He looked at her face again, cataloguing each shocked blink and gasp.
Refining his movements to elicit the response he desired.
‘Do I frighten you?’ he said, nipping her earlobe and moving a finger back and forth against her.
‘I am not… I do not…’ She couldn’t answer. This was a new feeling. It might be fear. But mostly, she was afraid that he would stop before she understood it fully.
She closed her eyes, embarrassed at his scrutiny. Then, he touched a particularly sensitive spot and she gasped again.
He responded with a chuckle of satisfaction and focused his attentions on it.
As the feeling grew, she lowered her face to nuzzle his shoulder and inhaled, taking in the spicy scent she’d caught whiffs of before.
‘You always smell wonderful,’ she murmured.
‘Always?’ He laughed again. ‘We will discuss that later, I think. For now I am wondering if you’ve always wanted me to touch you here.’ His fingers stilled.
‘I…’ She had not. She’d not even dreamed he would. But she was in no mood to explain how little she knew or how small her dreams had been.
‘Do not stop,’ she urged. If they could just stay like this for ever, she would never ask for another thing from him.
He spread his fingers over her. They slid easily against her skin, over, between and slowly inside.
Her eyes widened in shock, as he moved again, gliding out and back again.
‘Oh, my.’
‘Oh, my,’ he agreed. ‘Have you ever touched yourself this way?’
‘No,’ she admitted in a shaky voice.
‘In the future, when you are alone, think of me,’ he said. ‘Do this.’ He withdrew, circled and teased a spot so sensitive that her body jerked as he touched it.
‘There,’ he said, his voice smug. ‘Like this.’
Short strokes against her, better than kisses, better than anything.
‘Imagine me filling you, here.’
He was inside her again, a reprieve and a promise.
‘Losing myself inside you.’
The stroking began again.
‘Making you mine.’
Another thrust with his fingers.
What happened next came in a dizzying rush that left her clinging to his arms, afraid to let go as she convulsed against the pressure of his hand. He was kissing her hair, calling her his darling as she came back to herself and the awareness of his hand still holding her.
‘Did you like that?’ he asked tenderly.
‘I thought it would hurt,’ she said, dazed. ‘From what little I have read of the first time…’
He bowed his head and laughed against her neck, but surprisingly, she was not embarrassed. She liked the unsteady quality in his voice, as if he was as overwhelmed as she was.
‘What we did was not all, Louisa. What I did with my hand I could do with my body. I am afraid that it can, sometimes, hurt. But only once.’
‘Will it hurt you, too?’ she said, running her hand down the lapel of his coat.
‘No. I will feel as I think you do now.’
‘Then we should do that,’ she said.
He laughed again. This time he sounded almost desperate. ‘That would be very wrong.’
She grabbed the other lapel as well and stepped clear of the stones, backing between them and pulling him along after her.
‘Nothing is wrong, here. It is a different world.’
She reached up and untied his cloak, pushing it off his shoulders and letting it fall to the ground behind him.
‘A different world,’ he whispered back.
She nodded.
He took her in his arms and lowered her to the ground, spreading the cloak under her for a bed.
‘I have imagined something like this,’ he said in a dreamy voice, as he stretched out beside her. ‘We were on a picnic. We had finished eating and we were lying in the grass together.’ He traced a finger over her breasts.
She sighed as he touched her nipples. ‘You’ve imagined being with me.’
Hearing that was almost as wonderful as what had just happened.
‘You trusted me,’ he said, leaning over to kiss her.
‘I do,’ she whispered, shivering as he touched her breasts again.
She laid her hand flat on against his chest, imagining his skin.
But in this new world, she didn’t have to imagine.
She undid the buttons of waistcoat and pulled at his shirt until it came free of his breeches.
‘In this dream, what happened next?’ Her fingers grazed his ribs.
He inhaled on a hiss. ‘I did not allow myself to hope for much more than that.’
‘But if you had?’ His skin was warm. His nipples were hard and flat, and there was a dusting of hair between them that led her hand down to his waist.
‘You would undo my breeches,’ he said through clenched teeth.
She found the buttons at his waist and undid the band, pausing to touch the skin she’d exposed.
He let out a frustrated moan, but he did not stop her. Instead, he placed his hand over hers, guiding her to continue.
She hesitated for just a moment before hurrying on, pulling the cloth aside and freeing him. He was hard and erect. He felt different from anything she’d touched so far. He was new and fascinating and he was hers, even if it was only for tonight.
He trembled, as she had when he’d touched her and she felt an answering tremor deep inside herself.
‘We will be warmer if you hold me,’ she said, pulling her skirt up and out of the way.
‘God, yes,’ he said.
She took her hand away as he rolled on top of her and kissed her again. It was a hungry, urgent joining of lips that seemed as eager to forget propriety as she was. When he broke away, it was with a desperate sigh.
‘This is madness.’
‘I do not care.’ She wrapped her arms around him, slipping them beneath his coat and sliding down to find bare skin. Then she rocked her hips up in invitation.
The moon disappeared behind a cloud again, as if the night conspired to hide them as he reached between them, touching her with his manhood as he had with his hands.
‘Yes,’ she said, holding her breath as she felt his fingers in her again, trying to ease the way.
Then they disappeared and something was happening that felt as impossible as the magic of the stones.
She’d spent her life on one side of this barrier, afraid.
She wasn’t going back. It was too late for that.
She braced herself and tilted her hips, rocking towards him as he pushed. It only hurt a little, then it was over and they were one.
He relaxed against her, laughing softly and she wondered if this was all.
Before she could ask, he placed a hand on her shoulder.
‘You feel so good,’ he whispered. ‘I should not do this. But you just feel so, so good. I will be careful, I swear.’ Then, he began to move.
Cautiously, at first. Gently. Long strokes, almost leaving her body before burying himself deep inside her again.
This was better than a fantasy. Better than anything she’d ever imagined. She’d never need to dream again with this memory to sustain her. Her sweet Thomas, the man she’d built a castle of dreams with, was trembling over her and in her, on the brink of something wonderful.
She reached down to try and touch him again, or to touch herself as he’d suggested.
The pleasure was dizzying. She gave herself up to it, spreading her legs even wider so she could hook them around his, locking their bodies together when he tried to pull away as her soul tightened like a bow string, ready to be released.
His rhythm faltered for a moment. Then the tempo increased and his movements became desperate short strokes that seemed to reach the very heart of her. It was as if her soul was caressing him, trying to hold a part of him inside her body for ever.
He answered the call of her body and gave himself up to her, shuddering and going still.
As the rush of his release faded, Thomas struggled to ignore the reasonable voice at the back of his mind saying that actions had consequences. It was Bonham talking, he was sure, the part of his soul that had been sacrificed to the title upon his birth.
He didn’t want to answer it. He wanted to lie here, just for a little while, where nothing mattered but the feel of Louisa under him and surrounding him, soft, warm and wonderful.
She had promised him there would be a different world on the other side of the stones and she was right.
He sometimes felt empty after the act of lovemaking, filled with restless energy and a desire to dress and leave immediately.
But tonight, it was as if something had been added to him and not subtracted. He wanted to revel in that feeling for a while, as if he was snuggling into a feather bed or soaking in a hot bath.
Bonham reminded him in a curt tone, that he’d taken his lover on the cold ground and she was likely not as comfortable.
That was easily fixed. He was still inside her and he wrapped his arms around her hips to maintain their union.
Then he rolled until she was on top, pulling the cloak after her to bundle them together.
The moon had come out of the clouds again and he could see her, hair and profile gilded with silvery moonlight. ‘Beautiful,’ he whispered.
Bonham reminded him that he’d been with beautiful women before and that a gentleman who cared about the lady, her future and the succession, should have had the sense to withdraw before he climaxed, as he’d fully intended to do.
Devil take Bonham. The duke in him never thought of anything but the future.
Thus, he was miserable in the present. He’d wasted years seeking a woman to be his perfect duchess, then found himself disappointed when all that the women wanted was the title and the money.
He stared up at the moon and imagined a future with a woman who had never asked to be his duchess but liked the way he smelled.
‘It is late,’ she whispered, shifting against him. ‘I should go back to the house.’
He looked up at her, surprised. ‘I thought you might have changed your mind about that.’
She gave a sad shake of her head. ‘Nothing has changed. I cannot leave here. And I certainly cannot take your money, after…’ She turned her head and her expression was lost in shadow. Then, she rolled away and sat up, rearranging her gown.
He sat up as well, tugging his sagging breeches up and trying to reclaim his dignity. ‘Everything has changed. And I am not offering you protection. I am offering you everything I have. After what we have done…’
The duke in his head gave an exasperated sigh, but the criticism was unnecessary. Even as he was saying the words, he knew they were all wrong. No woman dreamed of receiving a half-hearted offer from an idiot whose balls were out and shrivelling in a cold breeze.
She was smiling her deceptive smile again, hiding her true feelings and preparing to retreat.
Had he hurt her? Had she even enjoyed what they’d shared?
It had felt so perfect to him a minute ago, but now, it was all wrong.
‘I will write to you at the inn, if it is allowed,’ she said, standing up.
‘And I will try to come to the garden after dinner each night, should you wish to see me again.’
‘Wish to see you? Hell’s teeth, Louisa, of course I want to see you.’ He rushed to do up his buttons and staggered to his feet.
‘Thank you,’ she said, as another cloud passed over the moon.
She looked up. ‘It will rain, soon. I have to hurry. Thank you, for everything.’ Then, she turned and went back through the stones.
The clumsy girl he’d thought needed him hurried back up the hill as sure as a mountain goat, as if to prove she needed no help at all.