Chapter 5
Cora stood in the library waiting for Damion. She, for a moment, pondered if it was appropriate to be using his given name, but realized meeting him here was far more outrageous.
Her flirting with Christopher didn’t generate any different results. He continued to seem preoccupied with everyone else. Still, she was confident that no other lady had caught his interest. Maybe that meant he was still planning to choose her?
The day before he departed on his travels two years ago, he’d mentioned that if she were free when he returned, they should court. Cora had been thrilled, but now worried he’d changed too much. Honestly, she also worried she hadn’t changed enough.
The door opened and closed with a click. Damion moved with a silent grace that for some reason she found riveting. Cora imagined most women did. His mouth lifted on one side in a half-smile. “So you decided to come.”
“Of course, I did. Abigail even told me I was acting strange. Apparently, I’m dreadful at playing the part of a flirtatious lady.”
He chuckled, and the gravelly sound of his voice stirred something in her belly, startling her.
“I’ve seen better.”
He walked to a side table and poured himself a brandy and her some wine. She joined him, and he handed her the glass. His fingers brushed delicately along her hand as she accepted it. Cora’s eyes darted to his face.
“Flirting is about increasing the yearning between two people. The little touches and the words used matter. It isn’t an overt thing, but discreet.”
He smiled softly at her, and she wondered, for a moment, if he was still teaching her or really looking at her. “The most important part of all of it, though, is to be yourself. You can’t be Lady Clark or me because you are neither of us. You still need to be Cora, who loves maps.”
Cora took a sip of her wine. “Bellamy isn’t as keen on them as I am. When we were younger, he often found them dull.”
Damion frowned and sat on the arm of the sofa while she stood next to him. “Are you sure he is the gentleman you want?”
“Of course, why do you appear so skeptical of that?”
“Because when you speak of him, you don’t talk about any physical connection. It matters. You don’t understand that now, but you will,” he stated.
“It isn’t that I’m clueless about attraction. I am confident that when we are finally together, it will come.”
His brows shot up as if confused by her statement. “Have you ever spoken with or danced with someone you felt any desire for?”
Cora blushed, unsure. “We aren’t all rogues.”
Damion grinned. “No, correct. I imagine your brother would be furious if you turned into a she-rake.”
She sighed and took a sip of her wine. “Do you think that is wrong? Men can behave as they like, but women are held to a standard so different?”
Still seated on the arm of the sofa, Damion asked, “Are you an advocate for equality?”
“I, of course, have thoughts on it and believe women are as adept as men,” she murmured.
“I don’t disagree.”
Cora’s conversations with Damion were stranger than with Christopher. In some ways, deeper. It means nothing, she assured herself. They contemplated each other. She wondered what he was thinking. He probably found her to be an oddity. Yet, the way his eyes darkened didn’t indicate such thoughts.
She was taller than Damion right now because of his seat on the arm of the sofa. His legs were splayed, and her eyes drifted down to his firm thighs. An ache bloomed in her lower half. Was this the attraction he spoke of? She wouldn’t know because she’d never been this close or alone with a man.
Liar. She’d spent many hours with Christopher, but they were children, she reminded herself. She hadn’t been alone with him since his return. They’d both grown up a great deal in two years.
Cora found herself curious about what it would be like to kiss Damion. He himself said desire could exist without deeper feelings. She imagined that this feeling was what he meant. Would it be useful to kiss someone she didn’t care for that much to understand the difference?
She stepped closer to him and further between his legs. He placed his glass down and looked up at her, watching her actions. “What are you doing, Cora?”
“Do you think we are attracted to one another?”
His eyes flared with something Cora suspected was desire. Yes, even though they were strangers, there was a physical connection. She felt it.
“I won’t deny it.”
She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “May I kiss you? I want a deeper understanding of mutual…well—”
“Desire,” he provided huskily when she couldn’t get the words out.
“Yes.”
He cupped the back of her neck and drew her mouth to his. Cora, for a brief moment, wondered if her request truly had anything to do with Christopher, but all thoughts were forgotten as their lips touched. She’d expected something sudden or harsh, but it wasn’t.
Damion's lips pressed and suckled hers. He gently bit her lower lip. Outrage didn’t fill Cora. No, a hungry ache flared in her most feminine area. She flattened her chest against his. The touching of their mouths wasn’t enough. Cora needed more.
His hand slid along her hip and then gripped her bottom, pressing her more firmly along him. She felt his hardness against her body and broke from the kiss to let out a breathless moan.
The needy sound echoed through the room. Damion grasped her waist and moved her back. “No more.”
Yes, he was right. Fear clawed at her chest, wondering if her request had been a mistake. She’d wanted to kiss him out of curiosity, to understand what attraction might look like. Damion preached its importance after all.
“You should want that with any future husband,” he murmured, straightening the sleeves of his jacket. He remained where he was.
Cora frowned at him. Was he unfazed by their kiss? Of course, he was. Damion was a rake, and hadn’t he told her attraction could happen between anyone? She smoothed her hands down her skirts, calming her emotions. Why was she annoyed at how nonchalant he was?
***
Damion walked to the side table and poured himself more brandy.
His hands shook as the liquid splashed into the crystal glass.
Desire surged in his blood for Cora. It was a foolish idea to kiss her.
He’d known it the moment she asked, but the temptation to touch her lips against his overwhelmed him.
Christ, and now his cock was rock hard. He wanted to wrap her legs around him and lose himself in her heat. She wasn’t for him, he told himself. The lady was actually trying to catch another man’s attention. This whole situation was absurd. He should leave.
“Thank you for kissing me. I’ve only shared one rather quick kiss in the past with Lord Bellamy. Now I know what to expect. I’m sure he and I will share more in-depth kisses before any proposals,” she said, her voice calm and steady.
He didn’t turn back and face her but instead closed his eyes, gathering himself.
Why did the thought of Bellamy touching Cora fill him with red-hot rage?
Finally, Damion faced her. She was stunning in the aftermath of their kiss.
Her blonde hair trailed over her shoulders, but it was her lips that captivated him.
They were swollen from the touching of their mouths.
She swallowed nervously, and his eyes dipped down to her throat. He imagined running kisses down her body. No, Damion definitely shouldn’t have kissed Cora because now he wanted to do so much more.
He sat on the sofa, and she lowered herself into a wingback chair. She asked, “How do you entice someone to kiss you like that?”
Damion took a large gulp of his brandy, enjoying the burn of it to the pit of his stomach.
He didn’t want to fucking teach her how to convince Bellamy to kiss her.
Yet, he didn’t refuse her. No, instead, he said, “You ask him just like you asked me. Be yourself, Cora, and I can’t fathom him ever refusing you. ”
She smiled shyly at him. “I imagine it was quite a heady experience for your wife to be wooed by you, Damion.”
He knew she meant it as a compliment, but he couldn’t stop himself from flinching.
For some reason, allowing Cora to believe he and Lily’s marriage was a grand love match didn’t sit well with him.
He wanted her to know the truth, which was shocking.
He’d never shared the details with anyone.
“My wife was leaving me when she became ill.”
Cora gasped. It was his secret he swore he’d take to his grave.
The only other people who knew were his staff, and they were loyal to him.
Lilly had been fleeing in a storm and fell ill at an inn.
Her lover sent word to Damion, leaving her there.
His mouth twisted at the memory. Damion brought her home, where she died calling out for the man who abandoned her.
“I’m sorry, Damion. Everyone talks about how your marriage was a love match.”
He took a sip of brandy and shook his head. “No, childhood friends who married because our families encouraged it. My parents passed away shortly after we wed, so they fortunately didn’t see how it turned out.”
She joined him on the sofa and took his hand. Damion said nothing, too startled by her actions. “I hope you find the perfect lady to be your bride.”
“I’m not searching for that, Cora. I don’t plan to wed again. I have several nephews who would be happy to be my heir. Marriage is not something I did well and don’t plan to give it a go again.”
She touched his face and said, “You should rethink your decision.”
The certainty in her eyes disconcerted Damion.
He gripped her hand and almost pulled her to him again but stopped himself.
Cora wanted Bellamy, and he wouldn’t contemplate what ifs with another woman who chose someone else.
Instead, he gently placed Cora’s hands back on her lap.
“Go to bed, my lady. I made my decision long ago.”
Cora frowned at the distance in his voice, but Damion needed to create some type of barrier between them. If not, he was bound to wrap her in his arms. She stood and said, “I do appreciate your help, Damion. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”
He shook his head but stayed seated. “You haven’t. Just promise me you will think about whether marriage to Bellamy is all you desire. There are plenty of other men who’d gladly woo you. Perhaps you should consider another Season?”
She stiffened at his suggestion. “No, I’ve made my choice.”
“Good night, Cora.”
She didn’t say anything else and departed.
Damion remained in the library, sipping on his brandy.
He hadn’t thought about Lily in a long time.
Not because he hated his wife or because of what happened in the end, but because it all could have been avoided.
They should have been honest with one another.
He hoped it was different for Cora, but worried her potential marriage would be just as empty. Damion took another sip. Cora’s certainty about Bellamy, their kiss, and the debacle of his marriage all lingered in his mind, preventing him from going to bed.