15 The Day After #2
His eyes were so fixed on the door that he almost missed the slight flash of light on the bridge leading to the orangery. Catching it only out of the corner of one eye, then he could not see it again. Was it a candle? A lamp? Was it her?
There was nothing. No matter how he strained, there was nothing. But then… yes! The orangery door opened, a light emerged and there she was, shrouded in a cloak but distinctively, indisputably Cora. She was coming!
He jumped to his feet, almost too excited to breathe.
At last! The light and the accompanying figure disappeared into the trees, but there could be no doubt that she was coming.
He could not be still, racing round the end of the hut into the clearing where she would appear, then, feeling foolish, back again.
But he was so desperate to see her the moment that she appeared, that he went again into the clearing and had the joy of glimpsing her lantern as she approached down the path.
The moment she emerged from the path into the clearing, he gave a little cry and swept her into his arms. With a small squeak of surprise, she melted into his embrace and for some minutes nothing at all was said between them.
When eventually and rather reluctantly he loosened his hold, she said, rather breathlessly, “Well! What a lovely welcome! Do you want to go straight to bed?”
He gave a grunt of laughter. She was outrageous sometimes. But it wouldn’t do. It was difficult to speak, but he had to try. “Talk… ought to talk.”
“Oh dear. That sounds ominous. Let me make myself a cup of tea first.”
She bustled about inside the hut for some time, while Cal allowed his racing heart to settle.
She was here, all would be well, he need not panic any longer.
He poured himself another glass of wine and went back to the bench, waiting.
So much waiting. He would always wait for her, he realised.
That was his r?le in her life, to wait for her.
Eventually, she came out and settled on the bench beside him. One sip of tea, then she set down her cup and took his hand.
“Are you going to admonish me, Cal? Point out the wrongness of last night?”
He shook his head, savouring the warmth of her hand in his. She had slender fingers, the skin smooth and uncalloused. “You’re a grown woman. You can decide that sort of thing for yourself.”
“But I took you by surprise, I think. If you are unwilling, then—”
“No.” The word came out more forcefully than he had intended. “Not unwilling. I’ll do whatever you want, Cora. I’m yours to command.”
Even in the dusk, her smile lit up her face.
“What a charming thing to say! And you mean it, too, I suspect.” He nodded.
“Unlike all the other men in my life, you have never tried to command me. Instead, you tell me I am yours to command. I like that! But then you have never been like other men, have you? That is why I fell in love with you. Oh, you look surprised but you knew that… I told you I loved you when I fell and you picked me up.”
“I thought you were concussed,” he said.
“No. Just… overwhelmed because you were holding me, and then I was so embarrassed by my own forwardness, I pretended to swoon.”
“Minx,” he said, smiling at her.
“I know. But what was it you wanted to say to me?”
Deep breath. “Do you want to get married?”
“No.”
He gave a bark of laughter. “That’s very decided!”
“I beg your pardon. Did you want the standard speech? Much obliged… greatly honoured… that sort of thing? It is not personal. Do you want to?”
“Not particularly, but I would make an exception for you.”
“You are very honest.” She smiled. “That is my feeling precisely. If I were to marry anyone, I would want it to be you, but I have no wish at all to subject myself to another man’s domination of me.”
“You must know I’d never do that to you.”
“But it is the law, Cal. A married woman does not even exist in the eyes of the law. Roland explained that to me when we had been married about two years. I received a small bequest from a great-aunt, and there were some documents to be signed. I wanted to see the attorney and deal with it myself, but Roland said he would have to sign the papers for me, so he would see the attorney. I was not to worry about it, for women could not understand such matters and that was why they were left to men to arrange. He took the money, too, and when I protested, he said that everything that was mine was his by law, and I already had a good allowance so I did not need it. He was so smug about it.”
“That’s dreadful!”
“Oh, he was not a bad husband. You must not imagine he was a tyrant or anything of that nature, and he was not ungenerous, but he never questioned the superiority of men over women, and his right to order all things as he pleased. The idea of being ‘mine to command’ would be incomprehensible to him, and Richard is cut from the same cloth. We have Richard to thank for last night’s fall from grace, by the way. ”
Cal laughed. “I must remember to thank him next time I see him. What did he do to inspire you to break free at last?”
“He very kindly told me in the loftiest, most patronising manner conceivable that he had been wrong to interfere in my friendship with you, that at my age there could be no harm in it and he trusted me always to behave with decorum. Insufferable man!”
That made Cal laugh even more. “Whereupon you promptly threw all decorum out of the window. You walked straight across the lawns, too, in full view of the house.”
“Indeed, but although I felt entirely free at that point, I had to prove it to myself.”
“By walking across the stepping stones. That makes you a butterfly now, but…”
She tipped her head to one side. “But?”
“Butterflies are fragile creatures. You’ll have to take care not to be blown away by harsh winds, or to fall and hurt those beautiful wings. I can’t protect you, Cora, not as a husband could.”
She turned and looked him full in the face, giving his hand a little squeeze. “I know. I will be careful. From now on, I shall only come and go through the orangery, which is much more discreet. During the day, I shall still be a respectable widow. I have no plans to destroy my entire life.”
He raised her hand to his lips, and she smiled at him happily, but his heart ached for her. She had no idea how vulnerable she was, or how vicious the world could be if it turned against her.
Not that he could do anything about it. He could not deny her, but he couldn’t see how this would end, and he feared that her gentle spirit would be utterly crushed before it was over.