Chapter 26
Verity sighed, rubbing her cheeks once the door was closed to Lady Hemphill who had come to chatter with Lady Hamhearst for a morning visit.
“Thank goodness I’m alone again,” she mumbled to herself.
While Verity didn’t mind hosting most of the time, visiting hours often left her more fatigued than usual. And everything was leaving her rather tired lately. Long nights were spent writing or stewing, trying to unravel the truth.
Only except the truth seems to change every day. How is that possible?
She leaned against the door with a quiet sigh. There was much to do now. Something new would need to be written and printed soon. But she needed more answers to do that. All she had were more questions! While she’d heard plenty, nothing was concrete enough for her to trust supplying in her journal.
There was a rap at the door from the other side.
Jumping, she pulled the door open without thinking to find all too familiar faces looking back at her. Verity stared as Cassian and Elowen stood there.
“Good afternoon,” Elowen said hopefully before pausing. “Oh dear. Is this a bad time after all? Your knocker is off. Cassian…”
“I’m sure our dear sister wouldn’t ever turn us away,” he reminded her before looking at Verity. “Would you?”
Pulling herself together, she opened the door wider. The surprise was swallowed as she considered her confusion. “Certainly not. Come in, Elowen. Cassian. Whatever are you two doing here?”
“We came for a visit.” Cassian glanced at their younger sister. “Didn’t we?”
With a nod, Elowen said, “Yes, but if it’s not a good time––”
“I’m always home for you,” Verity interrupted to reassure her. “Unless, of course, I’m really not home at all. Do come in. I can have a tea tray delivered to the morning room. There are still plenty of pastries, of course. My previous visits haven’t finished a single tray.”
She turned back to the hall and opened the door to let them in, wondering if she had missed something in the family to have them over.
Or perhaps I should just be grateful they came to see me. Cassian, especially. If I can ask him just a few questions…
“Yes, yes, we saw the gossips on their way down the street,” Cassian remarked dryly. Before she could scold him on speaking ill of Hemphill and Hamhearst, he was taking a step backwards. “By the by, is the duke at home?”
Verity ushered her sister in further, gesturing to a few seats before answering his question.
“Yes, I believe so. He had a meeting this morning himself in his study, and I think he is still there.” She paused as a niggling notion came to her in the back of her mind, and started moving toward him. “Why? Do you need to speak with him?”
“I believe I should.”
“Whatever do you have to discuss with my husband? Aren’t you––”
“My lord, what a surprise to find you here,” came the sound of her husband from down the hall.
Already Cassian had turned away and was striding off. Like she was entirely forgotten. Her mouth dropped in disbelief at his curt behavior, so she hastened into the hall to see the two gentlemen drawing close to one another.
“My study is around the corner. Shall we?”
“That would be best, yes.”
“Do you need me?” Verity called to them hopefully, only to be ignored. She furrowed her brow as she watched them go.
Both gentlemen bowed their heads to speak quietly with each other as though they worried being overheard.
Neither looked back her way. The distance between the two of them was greater than she would anticipate amongst friends.
And her single glimpse of a face in the shadowed hall showed Cassian scowling.
Sometimes I wonder if they really are friends. But what else would they be? If only I could eavesdrop…
She considered it a moment before recalling Elowen. Her sister was here! Guilt sunk into her stomach as she hastened back to the room where the young woman was seated neatly and patiently, her body never moving except for her eyes curiously pondering the spacious room.
“I’m terribly sorry for running out of here like I did,” Verity said as she returned, pausing to pull the bell rung. “I had thought Cassian might join us. Did he say why he wished to speak with my husband?”
“I didn’t know he wanted to,” Elowen answered. “That’s a lovely painting. French, I suppose?”
She glanced at the corner framed painting of doves. Her sister adored birds, had confessed a dream years ago about practicing falconry. Everyone had talked her out of it, of course. “I suppose so. Why do you think Cassian is here?”
“I asked him and Lucien to escort me here yesterday. You always preferred visits earlier in the week. I remembered that. I wished to come visit you like we said we might. We couldn’t then because Octavia had too many suitors visiting.”
“Ah, I see.”
So Elowen asked to come, and yet Cassian…
The door opened and they paused the conversation as the tea tray was delivered by one of the maids. As it was brought over, set aside by a platter of pastries and grapes, Verity glanced toward the open hallway.
If only she could be a part of the gentlemen’s conversation. What might she learn? What sort of secrets did these men carry?
“Verity?”
“Hm? Oh! I’m sorry, I was… distracted. That was a lovely pour,” Verity said, noting how her sister handed her a cup. Serving was a skill of balance and control that Elowen always struggled with, so her family was determined to help her improve. Mostly, Verity feared it was simply her nerves.
“Thank you. Are you certain you are well? If this is a bad time…”
“Not at all. But thank you for caring. I am glad you came today instead of yesterday. And Cassian, it’s nice that he came along as well. I wonder what he could have wanted,” she added lightly, musing over the topic. “Perhaps he and my husband are long-time friends. Do you think that’s possible?”
Elowen tilted her head to seriously understand the question. “Cassian didn’t seem to recognize the house or the study. Perhaps they are only friends over at the gentlemen’s club? It could be they attend the same one.”
“I suppose so. Hm. I only wonder what they want. What do you think, Elowen? What is Cassian doing here?”
“I don’t believe I could guess at all,” her sister murmured before taking a polite sip of tea. “Only that Cassian appears more serious than ever. This morning, I mean. He’s very serious. Perhaps he’s concerned about you and His Grace.”
Amusement spread through her chest. Cassian was concerned? She had begun to wonder what she even meant to him. What anyone in their family meant to him. Though she sought to mean well, she simply didn’t understand him anymore.
“Verity?”
“Hm?”
“How is His Grace? Are you well here? Happy, I hope?”
The wide-eyed earnestness of her sister had Verity feeling guilty for allowing herself to be distracted. “Oh, yes. Yes, of course I’m happy. I wanted this match, Elowen. I’m a duchess with a household of my own.”
A relieved smile crossed over Elowen. “That is so good to hear. Some matches made, I heard things, and… Worry.”
“Well, you mustn’t worry about me,” she promised.
Her own smile was more forced than natural, but she was thinking too much at the moment to consider her own happiness.
But then she inhaled deeply. Reflection had her going on to say, “Matters were surprisingly easy. Easier than I anticipated, I mean. However, I would say we have found our rhythm.”
“Do you like him?”
“My husband?”
Elowen nodded, fumbling with her tea cup. “Yes, the duke. Do you like the gentleman you married? I would think it could make life easier.”
She spoke gently as she answered, “Yes, it would. It does. We worked well together.”
Something about her words must have caught her sister’s attention. Scooting to the edge of her seat, Elowen set down her cup, then Verity’s cup, and took her hands in her own. “I knew it. Something is the matter. Did something happen? Has he mistreated you?”
Warmth flooded her face; for all Verity thought she could hide her feelings, she found she was not very good at it after all. “Not at all.”
“Then what went wrong?”
Verity forced a nod, tight at her entire body felt. She attempted to smile as well but couldn’t tell if it did any good. But perhaps some honesty would help. It was best her sister had some understanding about marriage since she would surely make a match of her own soon.
“I’m afraid that things are no longer what they were,” she admitted. “But this wasn’t a marriage made on love. You know this. It’s simply a proper match. The more I came to know His Grace, the more I… the more things changed.”
“So he has hurt you?”
“Not in the way you expect. Perhaps it was my fault.” Verity winced at the memory of her night in the library. “We nearly kissed, Elowen, that’s all.”
Elowen studied her. “I don’t understand. By all accounts, kisses should be pleasant. Or are you saying he forced you?”
“No! Not at all. It’s only that the duke now acts as though nothing happened.
Like we are strangers. And it’s so very uncomfortable living with a stranger,” Verity added.
She blinked several times as she suddenly felt her eye begin to itch.
Forcing in a deep breath, she tried again to smile.
“I hope you will have a better wedding than mine. It shouldn’t be too difficult. ”
Frowning, her younger sister gave a quick shake of her head. “I don’t care about weddings right now. Only you. Is this really the union you wish to keep, Verity? You look exhausted in a place where you should be safe. Isn’t there anything that you want?”
She opened her mouth and closed it.
What do I want?
Smatterings of words came to mind. Her journal. A comfortable bed. New slippers. But this wasn’t what her sister was asking. Verity lifted her gaze once more to the door, her heart reaching out for the duke that continued to refuse her.
She finally said, “I want to be a good partner to my husband, and I wish for him to be a good partner to me.”
Footsteps sounded in the hall where she eyed the open door. Was it him? Maybe he was returning. Maybe he would include her after all, no longer ignoring her.
Only it was a servant passing by. Verity sighed, slumping.
Although the words were simple enough to say, something about them felt false on her ears. It wasn’t enough. Was it even true? Her heart thumped at the thought of seeing Dominic even when he wasn’t around. There were so many things she wanted. At the end of the day, it was hard to put into words.
It was more of a feeling. She wanted to feel Dominic sitting beside her. He never came closer to her anymore. He didn’t allow the firelight to consume him, his hand to get close to hers, and he certainly didn’t look at her for very long.
But she still remembered the way he had looked at her. With more than fondness or compassion, but with adoration. With hunger…
Would she ever see that again in Dominic?