Chapter 11
“What am I missing?” Macie whispered into the quiet office. Immediately, an image popped into her head. It wasn’t a data report or special code she could write that could help her find the bastards who were shipping illegal weapons. It was an image of Edward cradling Kyle in his arms, gazing down at their son with awe.
Yes, she missed Edward. He was just down the hallway, but Macie refused to go to him. Yesterday’s passion had been unexpected and…she bit her lip as she tried to figure out what had changed. Because something had changed. The world seemed…different somehow.
She missed being around him. Macie missed seeing him smile when Kyle did something cute. She missed just…being with him!
She also missed Kyle. Several days ago, Macie would have reveled in the freedom. She’d been locked in her house for three months, trying to figure out this mothering thing. Her breasts had ached, she’d only found the energy and time to shower every few days, and she’d missed meals because she’d been so exhausted. Of course, she’d had plenty of time to watch television. She now knew the price of several grocery store items because of the mindless television watching she’d done while trying not to burst into tears.
“What’s going on with me?” she hissed, running her fingers through her hair as she bowed her head in frustration.
Lifting her head, she realized that the wanting, the desire…no, the need to be with Edward, in his arms and in his presence, was dangerous.
“You’re just a lazy slob!” crashed through her head, memories of her parents fighting. “And you’re just an ugly, old hag!” her father would bellow in response. The insults were constant whenever they were around each other.
“Stop it!” she told herself firmly. Unfortunately, her subconscious wasn’t in an obedient mood. “You’re going to figure this out!” she said, louder this time and laid her fingers on the keyboard.
Thankfully, something clicked and she was finally able to concentrate. For the next three hours, she flipped through the various screens and data, then a thought occurred to her. After that, she knew what she needed to do.
Edward glanced at his watch, Kyle by his side, lying on his new play mat. “I think it’s time to get Mommy some lunch. What do you think?” he asked the little guy.
Kyle wasn’t overly enthusiastic about anything other than kicking at the toys above him, his tiny legs bending and stretching.
“Let’s go, big boy!” he cooed, scooping Kyle into his arms.
In the kitchen, Ms. Kealy already had chicken noodle soup and vegetables steaming on the stove. As soon as he walked in, she smiled and pulled a loaf of bread from the oven.
“This is perfect!” he said, nodding.
“Why don’t you let me hold the little lordling while you enjoy your soup,” she offered. “And maybe, ye could share the meal with Ms. Meyers?”
Edward happily handed Kyle over to his housekeeper. “I think that’s a great idea,” he agreed, then lifted the tray filled with two soup bowls, freshly sliced bread, and a small bowl of softened butter.
“I also have cookies for dessert, if ye’re interested,” Ms. Kealy announced, as she headed into a small room off the kitchen, which held a desk and computer. Edward knew she used that room as an office, to prepare menus and grocery lists, and also to organize contractors if maintenance was needed. He suspected there were a few baby toys stashed away in there as well.
Edward carried the tray to his office, eager to see Macie. After yesterday’s passionate interlude, the evening had been slightly awkward between them. He was determined to fix that.
How he was going to accomplish that goal was a mystery. But Edward had overcome other challenges. And Macie was more important than anything else he’d done.
Knocking on his office door with his foot, he paused, then heard, “Yes!” coming from inside. He wasn’t sure if it was an invitation to enter or success at finding something. Edward pushed the door open with his foot, carrying the tray inside.
“What’s going on?” he asked, setting the tray down on the side of the desk that wasn’t covered with papers.
“I think I found something!” Macie called out, almost dancing in the chair. “Look at this,” she said, pointing to the screen. “This flight,” she said, pointing to a flight that landed in Frankfurt several hours ago. “The flight manifest shows one weight. And my program calculated the required fuel for the distance, wind speeds, and weight of the cargo.”
Edward nodded. “Yeah. What’s so special about this one?”
“For some reason,” she tapped some keys and a new screen popped up, “the Philadelphia warehouse manager added fifty more gallons of fuel to the flight at the last minute. Why?” she asked, looking up at Edward. “Plus, the weight of the cargo doesn’t match. And if you look at this,” she pointed to another line, “Why were these boxes taken off the flight? They were supposed to be on the Germany flight.” She clicked another screen. “They are now scheduled to be loaded onto this flight that leaves in thirty minutes.”
Macie turned, eagerly looking up at Edward. “This is it! This is the clue that I’ve been looking for!”
“Is that enough?”
She shook her head. “It’s not enough yet. But it gives me a starting point.” She clicked again. “Didn’t you say that Antonio del Campo, your partner, is heading to Frankfurt?”
“He’s already there. I spoke to him this morning.”
“Can he get to this flight? Can he look at the cargo and find out what’s in these boxes?” she clicked the keys and the printer chugged to life. “I can give him the exact location on the plane where the boxes should be.”
“I’m on it!” Edward replied, grabbing the printout. He was just about to turn and head out of the office when he stopped and turned back to her. “Eat!” he commanded, then bent down and kissed her. “Have I mentioned lately that you’re brilliant?”
Macie sighed with…happiness?Success?
All of the above, she thought as she pulled a bowl of soup towards her. “Oh, this smells amazing!” she gasped as she dunked the warm bread into the soup. “Delicious!” she sighed as she took a bite.
While eating, she clicked through several other flights. Now that she knew what to look for, she found three other flights that matched the same pattern. Whatever had been in the cargo hold was probably gone by now, but at least she had a pattern for the future.
The soup felt good, but seeing the admiration in Edward’s eyes had felt even better. Macie felt on top of the world.
She finished off the soup and two slices of the warm bread, savoring both. Then she stood up and went to find Kyle, needing a snuggle from her favorite little man. And she wouldn’t mind a conversation with Edward.
“There, that’s a good boy!” Ms. Kealy was saying as she laid Kyle down into his bassinet.
“He’s sleeping?” Macie whispered.
“Aye!” the housekeeper whispered back, gazing fondly down at the little boy. “Such a wonder, babies are.”
“I agree,” Macie replied, smiling at her son. She now knew that she should have gotten out of the house more often over the past few months. She should have found support, made friends with the other mothers in her neighborhood. Just being away from him for a few hours made all the difference in the way she felt towards her tiny son. It wasn’t nearly as overwhelming to have some help. Macie had felt like she had to do everything on her own. Now, she knew better.
“You okay?” Edward asked, his hands gripping each arm.
Macie looked up at him over her shoulder, smiling her happiness. “I’m good,” she replied. “Really good!”
He grinned back at her. “The sun has finally come out. Would you like to go for a walk?”
Macie looked down at Kyle. “Can we take him with us? I feel like I’ve been away from him too much over the past few days.”
“Of course. We can put him into that bundle thing that Ms. Kealy brought.”
Five minutes later, Kyle, still sleeping, was bundled up and they were outside, the sun shining down on their upturned faced. “This feels so good!” she told him. Then she smiled at Edward as he looked down at Kyle, wrapped up in the scarf-like holder. “Thank you for suggesting this.”
“My pleasure,” he replied. “Let’s say hello to Sanford and the other horses. I haven’t brought Kyle down to see them today and I know that Sanford loves to smell Kyle.”
“Too bad Kyle won’t be awake for the sniffing,” she teased.
Edward chuckled, shaking his head. “Wait until you see these two together. It’s like they’ve bonded into some sort of sniffing-tickling partnership. My previously tough as nails horse has gone all soft and gooey over Kyle. The beast loves it when Kyle reaches out to tickle his nose. As soon as Kyle stops tickling, Sanford sniffs him again, and the whole love-fest starts all over again.”
She laughed, shaking her hair. “I can’t wait to see that.”
“Where are your parents?” Edward asked.
Macie thought about her parents, about the fights and the tears. “My mother passed away several years ago,” she explained. “And I haven’t spoken to my father in…I can’t even remember the last time I spoke to my dad.”
“How old were you when he left?”
“Seven. My parents had been in a huge fight the night before. All I heard from my bedroom was my mother screaming at him to stop whoring around, as she put it, and that she wanted another baby. My father screamed back that he couldn’t stand the thought of touching my mother, much less bringing another life into this world for her to abuse.”
There was a long silence and Edward peered down at her, patting Kyle’s bottom soothingly. “Were you?” Edward asked.
She looked up at him, squinting into the bright sunshine.
“Abused? Did your mother abuse you in any way?”
Macie thought about it, reaching out to tickle Kyle’s foot as it dangled near Edward’s waist. “I don’t think so. If you include neglect as abuse, then yes. But it wasn’t intentional abuse. My mother worked hard. We had chickens, a few cows, and about a dozen goats at the time. My father left most of the farm chores to my mother. He said that he worked in a hot factory for twelve hour shifts, so he didn’t think that he should have to work the farm too.”
“Your mother didn’t work outside of the farm?”
Macie laughed. “Yes, she did. She worked at the local grocery store. During the day, she was a cashier. But she also picked up as many night shifts as she could. She’d stock the shelves with a group of about five or six others. It gave her enough money to…” Macie squinted as if remembering. “I don’t know why she needed the extra money. Now that I think about it, she might have picked up additional shifts just so that she could avoid being alone with me at night.” She looked at the woods on the other side of the path. “My father worked the noon to midnight shift at the local manufacturing factory, then would go out drinking with his friends afterward.” She sighed.
“That sounds like you were alone a lot of the time.”
“I was, but I didn’t know there was anything wrong with that. It was just life, I thought.” She grimaced at the memories.
“And your father just…walked away?”
“Yeah. After that last, big fight, I heard the door slam and then silence. Nothing. He was just gone. He never wrote to us, never came back. Never called on my birthday or holidays.” She blinked back sudden tears at the painful memories of those nights when she’d lie in bed, waiting for her father to call her.
“I’m sorry, Macie,” Edward said, pulling her in close. He couldn’t hug her, not with Kyle bundled against his chest in the swaddling scarf. But she allowed herself to cuddle up against his warmth for a moment.
“So, that’s why you told me you don’t do relationships,” he said.
Macie remembered that conversation and pulled away. “No. I don’t do relationships because I’m focusing on my career.”
He chuckled. “Macie, my parents were the nastiest people in the world. Why they ever married is a mystery. They fought constantly and purposely acted in ways designed to irritate the other person.”
“That sounds awful.”
“And similar?”
She laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I suppose. There were a lot of fights in the house, but mostly, my parents just avoided each other.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, “Well, I’ve realized the reason I don’t know how to be in a relationship is because I didn’t grow up witnessing a healthy marriage. Therefore, I’ve accepted that I should avoid making another person miserable.” He patted Kyle’s bottom again.
“That’s wise of you,” she teased, brushing her shoulder against his bicep.
“It is,” he teased right back. “However, I doubt that you’ve done as much introspection regarding your parents and how it is currently effecting your adult relationships.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “You think I won’t venture into a relationship because I never saw a good one growing up? Am I just like you?”
He nodded. “Yes. But also, I think that you avoid becoming emotionally involved because you don’t believe that you’re loveable. Your father left you. If the man who should love you unconditionally couldn’t stick around, or even call you on special days, then perhaps you think that no man could ever love you. Is it possible that you think of yourself as unlovable?”
She didn’t respond for a long moment. But the possibility was thrumming through her mind. Was he right? Had she pushed away romantic partners all of her life simply because she didn’t think they’d ever truly love her?
“Maybe, we should consider our past as we contemplate our future. Maybe there is a way for us to find happiness in a romantic relationship without ensuring that those relationships die out through our own machinations.”
His words were profound, but also, the concept was a lot to take in.
Edward watched Macie carefully, watching for her reaction. Was he right? Was she sabotaging their future, any possibility that they might find love together, simply because she felt unlovable?
Probably, Macie thought. She gazed out at the trees, appreciating the changes in colors. The leaves were starting to change from green into their autumn yellow, orange, pink, and red tones before falling to the ground in preparation for the winter.
Was she doing the same? Was she cutting off anything superfluous, like love, to protect herself from future harm?
Yeah, that was definitely a possibility.
“I think that my mother’s resentment with farm life is the reason that I worked so hard in school.” She turned her head. “I was valedictorian,” she told him. “I almost lost the title to a man.”
He chuckled. “I can’t imagine any man beating you at education. What happened? You failed one test in one class and his grade point average inched slightly higher than yours?”
She snorted. “Please!” Macie shook her head as if the possibility was impossible. “No, I almost lost the title because the principal of my school told me he was announcing a boy with a lower grade point average as the valedictorian because he thought that men needed the recognition more than just a girl.”
“Are you kidding?”
She grimaced. “Nope.” They continued walking in silence.
“That’s outrageous!”
She turned and looked up at him. “I agree. As soon as the principal told me what he was going to do, I explained, very calmly, that I would speak with a lawyer. I would then sue the principal as well as the school district for whatever sum I thought I would lose out from my career for being denied an honor that I’d earned.” She chuckled as they continued walking. “I named a figure that was outrageously high, because I was sure that I was going to rule a company someday.”
“You still might,” he countered.
“Nope.” She looked at Kyle, smiling at his still-sleeping face. “A single mom can either be good at raising her child, or advancing in her career. She can’t do both. I have to hire someone to take care of Kyle in the mornings, so that I can get into the office before everyone else, plus someone who can be there when Kyle gets home from school, so I can work late into the evenings.” She kissed his dangling foot. “I want to be home with Kyle more than I want to run a company.”
“Is that true for other single mothers?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know about other single moms. It wouldn’t surprise me though. It’s tough.”
“It isn’t difficult for men?”
She looked at him, one eyebrow lifted. “What would you do if one of your executives had an important meeting, but walked out of the office because his child needed to be picked up from school? What if that man then missed a deadline? You wouldn’t think that man was completely dedicated to his job?”
Macie watched, wondering if Edward was truly understanding the problem.
Then he nodded. “You’re right. I would think less of him. And of any woman who did that.” He rubbed Kyle’s back. “I hadn’t realized how difficult it is raising kids and having a career.” He looked down at her with a glare. “Did you change the subject just so that you didn’t have to discuss your daddy issues?”
Macie laughed and shrugged. “Probably.”
Edward’s response was a grunt. “We should turn around. Sanford is way out in the back pastures and I doubt that Kyle will sleep through the trip back.”
The walk back to Edward’s house was done in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. But about five minutes into the walk back, Edward moved closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
Macie pretended the gesture, and the kiss he pressed to the top of her head, didn’t mean anything to her. However, she had to quickly blink back tears.
“What the hell have you done?”
Henry stiffened.“Ralph?”
“Of course it’s me, you idiot!” the Frankfurt Linx director hissed. “Who else calls you on this phone?”
Henry had to admit that the other man had a point. “What the hell is wrong?”
There was a long silence and Henry knew that something had gone horribly off-plan. What that could be, he hadn’t a clue.
“Del Campo is here,” Ralph hissed into the phone. “He’s here with the police and at this very moment, they are prying open the crates that were shipped this morning.”
Henry’s heart just about burst out of his chest. “What? How? Why?”
Ralph made an impatient sound. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?”
“But…my guy said that he’d put the crates on the plane personally. And I know that he changed the flight manifest. There should be no issues with the flight!”
Another grunt came through the phone. “Obviously, something went wrong! Otherwise, the German police wouldn’t be here, pulling out weapons!”
Henry’s stomach clenched. He felt like throwing up!
“I’ll fix this,” Henry told the man. “At a minimum, I’ll make sure that the person who did this is taken care of.”
Ralph sputtered. “That’s not good enough! We are the ones who oversee the cargo to and from our cities! It’s our careers on the line!”
Henry wasn’t sure what to do. So, he offered the only solution that occurred to him. “I’m calling Ricky.”
Another silence, then Ralph asked, “Ricky Palmero? He’s a thug!”
“Do you have a better solution? Ricky will find and deal with the person who messed up. The only person who will talk is my guy at the warehouse who loaded up the crates. If he’s not around for the police to interrogate, then there’s no one to link our names to the cargo manifests.” Henry waited. “Unless you have a better solution?”
“Palmero will only get rid of your guy. Obviously, someone alerted the police to the problem. How are you going to fix that issue?”
Macie! Henry realized that Macie should have been back in the office this week. Several weeks ago, Henry had called Ricky to deal with the problem of someone logging into the computer system. But Ricky had never come back to tell him who it had been. He’d just texted the “all fixed” message and Henry had gone about his business.
So, what had happened to Macie? If she wasn’t back in the office after her maternity leave, had that been the “fix” that Ricky had taken care of?
Rubbing a hand over his face, Henry tried to slow his rising panic. “I’ll call you back,” he said, then hung up, ignoring Ralph’s bellowed, “Do not hang up on me!”
Gripping the sides of his desk, Henry tried to think through the steps. What did he need to do? What would fix this problem? Obviously, Gilly had messed up. And even if Gilly hadn’t messed up, the idiot was weak. As soon as the threat of prison was dangled in front of him, the loser would give up Henry’s name. Gilly wouldn’t even hesitate to make a deal.
So getting rid of Gilly before the police spoke to him was the main priority.
His second priority was getting rid of Macie. If she was still alive, Macie was the only employee who knew the computer tracking system well enough to find the evidence that could sink this operation. So, Macie had to go.
One phone call could solve both problems.
Yes, that’s what he would do. Ricky was the perfect solution.
With trembling fingers, he dialed the number.