Chapter Twenty-two #2
‘I do not think it now though,’ she added, because she did not want him to think she thought ill of him.
It was quite the opposite; he was the best man she knew.
When she woke in the morning, joy would flood through her like a fine glass of wine, knowing that it would not be long before she saw him.
After their time with the horses, she would feel flat, unless she caught a glimpse of him and then it was as if her whole body had been filled with light.
At dinner, she sat next to him, and she had taken to ignoring the looks sent their way, indulging in talking and laughing with him as if they were alone.
There was no sign of her parents, no further threat to the safety of the family.
The Season would be upon them soon enough.
Even if the Dashworth family decided to remain at the estate, she would not be able to.
She would have to leave when the rest of the other house party guests did, and this brief interlude would be over.
So, she would enjoy this flirtation with a handsome man while she could, placing no expectation on it other than their mutual enjoyment.
‘Dare I ask what you think now?’ he said.
That she was not going to tell him. ‘You are always fishing for compliments, Tobias Dashworth, but I fear you are going to be disappointed. My opinion of you has only gone down. I am afraid finding out what I truly think would ruin your confidence entirely.’
He laughed again, the sound light and free. When he had sobered, he said, ‘For what it is worth, I thought you were meddlesome and headstrong.’
‘And now your opinion has only got worse too?’
‘Better, I believe. I do not believe you are meddlesome now.’ He grinned at her again.
‘I believe that to be an accurate assessment. I do not think anyone will cure me of being headstrong,’ she said.
‘I did not used to be that way, but events have shaped me. I realised that I had to make decisions for myself, based on what I believed was the right thing to do, even if it was not the easiest.’
‘That does explain your reason for getting into the water to help a stranger, but I must beg of you not to do it again. It is not your reputation I am worried about, but your safety. Anything could happen to you.’
They were heading to a patch of woodland, the trees ancient with their thick trunks and wide branches stretching up to the sky.
Grace could understand what Tobias was saying, but she was not sure she could promise him such a thing.
‘I will always go to someone who I think needs my help. I do not think I can change that about myself, nor would I want to,’ she said.
‘I was afraid you would say that.’
Some of his amusement dimmed and she could tell from the line of his shoulders that her answer had disappointed him. ‘I try not to think of Clare in that carriage, but sometimes I do. I wonder if the outcome would have been different if someone had come to their aid.’
She braced herself, ready for his eruption, for him to tell her that what had happened to Sebastian and Clare was irrelevant to her own safety.
That regardless of what she believed, she had to follow his rules or else.
The horses’ hooves continued to plod along the hardened ground, and Tobias rubbed his jaw with his fingers.
Further along, the birds were settling back down, swooping in loops before coming to rest. Eventually, Tobias said, ‘You do know how to take my argument from underneath me. I cannot fault your logic. Naturally, I also wish there had been someone with good intentions like yourself, who had been there to help when Sebastian and Clare needed them. Let us hope that life is kinder to you going forward, and that you do not find yourself in need of coming to the aid of people in peril.’
They entered the woodland, a cool, green darkness enveloping them.
She half-expected him to push his point, but he did not speak as their horses picked over the thick roots.
Something inside of her slowly unknotted, a tension relaxing.
Tobias was not Ichabod; he would not try and control her behaviour in the same way her late husband had.
‘Is it typical for summer to be this lovely in England?’ asked Grace, more for the need to keep speaking to this man than because she wanted to know the answer.
‘No. It normally rains a lot. We have been blessed with an unusual amount of sunshine. It means the lake will be warm for swimming in.’
‘Are you going to swim?’ she asked, her heart taking flight at the idea, all dark thoughts forgotten.
‘No,’ he said slowly.
‘But you want to.’ Images flitted through her mind.
Tobias stripping off his jacket, rolling back his sleeves, his forearms bare to the sun.
Maybe he would take his shirt off. No, that was too much.
He would not be that improper in front of her.
But he might roll up his pantaloons as he had done before.
She might see his calves. She blinked, shocked at the direction her mind was taking her.
In an instant, she had become like one of those men older women warned debutantes about.
The ones young women were not supposed to show even a hint of ankle to lest they become overwrought with desire.
It was a shock to her that women, or at the very least she, could experience the same sort of thoughts.
‘Grace,’ said Tobias, his voice gravelly. ‘What are you thinking about now?’
She turned to him. He was watching her, his dark eyes hooded.
Heat spilled over her cheeks. A slow smile spread over Tobias’ face, one she had not seen before.
It was filled with hidden promises, the sort of look a man gave a woman he wanted.
A thrill shot through her. She’d thought her appreciation of his body was one-sided, but his look suggested she had been wrong.
They were alone. No one else in the house party stirred much before midday and they never ventured outdoors before noon, not even Kate and Edward’s wards, whom Kate was trying to teach to read and write.
It was hours before anyone would expect them back at the main building.
A lot could happen in that time. Perhaps she could cure herself of this ache in her chest that happened whenever Tobias was near.
‘You could swim,’ she said, her voice husky. ‘It is warm enough to dry before we return to the house.’
His gaze flickered to her lips, quickly but noticeably, and the thrill running through her intensified.
‘We shall see,’ was all he said in response but that didn’t stop the anticipatory thrill running over her skin.