Chapter 4
“Oh, Agnes, I just can’t believe you’re going to be a mother!” Violet exclaimed.
Agnes beamed, resting her hands on her midsection, which was currently still flat.
“We have a long way to go,” she said. “But Gabriel and I are very excited about it. We’ve talked about having a child for some time now, but when it didn’t happen in the first years of our marriage, I began to wonder whether something was wrong—whether it might not be possible for the two of us.
I had accepted that possibility, to tell you the truth.
It would have been all right if things had turned out that way.
But I’m so grateful that this has happened. ”
Dorothy nodded eagerly. Agnes had just shared the news with them that morning, and though they were here to have their book club discussion, the book they had been reading lay forgotten.
It seemed ridiculous to even think of talking about a book right now, when Agnes had shared such an exciting and life-altering piece of information with them.
“I wonder whether the child will be a boy or a girl?” Violet mused. “Do you hope for one or the other?”
“Not a bit,” Agnes said evenly. “Nor does Gabriel. We’re just so excited to be growing our family. A son or a daughter—either would be equally lovely.”
The door to the library opened, and Helena walked in.
Gabriel’s niece was still a year shy of her twentieth birthday, but she had made her debut recently, and Dorothy knew that Agnes and Gabriel both hoped to see her find a match this season.
It wouldn’t be difficult, she thought. The girl was fair-haired, with beautiful features and radiant blue eyes, and she had a knack for charming everyone around her.
Even Dorothy felt drawn in by her natural charisma.
“Is this book club?” Helena asked, making her way lithely across the room and settling in an empty chair. “May I join?”
“You haven’t read the book, Helena,” Agnes said in a mock-stern tone.
“That doesn’t matter. I can still talk about it with the three of you.” Helena leaned forward. “Unless it’s a scandalous book again, and you think Uncle Gabriel would be angry if I knew about it? But I don’t have to tell him.”
The three ladies burst out laughing. Dorothy recalled the occasion when they had read a scandalous book together. That had also been when Agnes and Helena had first met, a couple of years ago, and had eventually—strangely—led to Agnes’ marriage, through an odd series of events.
“It’s not scandalous,” Violet chuckled. “It’s philosophy.”
“Which I suppose is a little scandalous, to some people’s way of thinking,” Agnes said. “There are those who would find it inappropriate for a lady to read a book like this one. But I’m confident that your uncle is not among them, Helena.”
“Then let me stay,” Helena said.
“Very well,” Agnes said. “You may. Perhaps it would do you good to listen and expose yourself to some new ideas.”
“Speaking of scandal,” Helena said, pulling out a piece of paper and unfolding it. “Did you all see this?”
It was the same scandal sheet Dorothy’s sisters had been looking at. She closed her eyes briefly—of course it had cropped up here as well. She wondered what the others would have to say about it.
“I saw it this morning,” Violet said. “Apparently Nathaniel has a list of women he might pursue for marriage, and it’s long.”
“Our Nathaniel?” Agnes blinked. “I hadn’t even realized he was seeking marriage.”
“Seeking it with vigor, apparently.” Helena handed Agnes the sheet.
Agnes skimmed it. “Oh my,” she murmured. “Not exactly a gentleman of discerning taste, is he? I suppose he’s willing to marry anyone who will have him, by the looks of things.”
“No, that isn’t it,” Dorothy said. “In a way, it’s worse. It’s that he can’t seem to tell women apart. He had to make this list because he’s incapable of remembering who’s who without it.”
She didn’t realize she had said too much until she’d finished. Her friends were staring at her.
“How did you know that?” Violet asked. “Jonathan has never mentioned to me that Nathaniel has that kind of trouble.”
“Nor has Gabriel,” Agnes agreed. “Are you just making a guess, Dorothy?”
“No, she isn’t,” Helena said shrewdly. “Dorothy spoke with confidence. She knows something about all this.”
Dorothy sighed. She couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, it seemed.
“I was the one who reported all this,” she admitted.
“I found the list in the library at the ball the other night. And Nathaniel confronted me about it the morning after the event. He saw me hiding near the library, so he knew that I was the one who had done it.”
“And he confided in you about this?” Agnes asked.
“I think he was trying to make me feel ashamed about exposing him,” Dorothy said. “He was trying to make me feel sympathy for him…which did sort of work, I admit.”
“You feel for him?”
“Well, I know that it’s hard to be worried about the marriage mart,” she said.
“After all, there is a reason I’ve chosen to distance myself from all that!
But I have to say, it’s going to be difficult to keep my distance now, because Nathaniel insists that I help him find himself a suitable bride!
He’s so hopeless at it that I suppose even my help seems valuable to him. ”
Violet laughed. “My goodness,” she said. “You’re going to be his matchmaker.”
Dorothy groaned. “I don’t see how I can get out of it.
” She knitted her fingers together. “He knows I was the one who reported his list, and he says this is the way I can make it up to him. And truth be told, I do feel badly about having done that. It was thoughtless of me, and I wish I hadn’t.
So, if there’s a way for me to make it right, I’ll have to do it.
” She sighed. “It’s just that I don’t think I’m the right person for the task.
I mean, what do I know about matchmaking? I’m as good as on the shelf.”
“You’re only five-and-twenty,” Agnes said gently. “I was older than that when I married.”
“Yes, I know,” Dorothy agreed. “But you were a known spinster and pleased as punch about it, remember? You fell into a marriage with Gabriel nearly by accident. It’s very different for me.”
“I suppose my case was rather unique,” Agnes agreed. “But also, Dorothy, remember that every case is unique. No two courtships are just alike. If it can happen for me, it could happen for you.”
Dorothy shook her head. “This isn’t about me,” she said.
“I’m not thinking of marriage for myself.
My only struggle is that I don’t know whether I’m well enough equipped to assist Nathaniel in finding a wife.
He thinks I am, but truly, what help could I possibly be? What do I know of these matters?”
“Oh, I’d say you know more than you’re giving yourself credit for,” Violet said with a smile. “After all, you’re a wallflower.”
“But isn’t that just the problem?” Dorothy lamented. “I’m a wallflower. I don’t join in. I know nothing about the inner workings of society.”
“Violet is right,” Agnes chimed in. “You say you know nothing, Dorothy, but I think you know more than you realize, because you’re always watching.
You’re at every ball, always paying attention to what everyone is doing, and you know all there is to know about the inner workings of high society.
You might be the best possible person to help Nathaniel choose an appropriate wife, now that I think of it. He’s lucky to have your assistance.”
“Do you really think so?” Dorothy asked doubtfully.
“Just think of it,” Agnes said. “Couldn’t you tell me right here and now the names of three ladies who have been laid low by scandal?”
“Well, of course,” Dorothy said. “But so could we all, I’d imagine.”
“And you could probably tell me, too, who you think is careless enough with her reputation that she is likely to be embroiled in future scandal, even if she has been spared thus far.”
“I could,” Dorothy admitted, several names immediately coming to mind.
“And,” Violet chimed in eagerly, “If I was to ask you who was seeking to marry this season, and who was being pressed into the marriage mart against her will by an overeager mama?”
“Of course I would know,” Dorothy agreed, beginning to feel more confident.
“Well, there you have it, then,” Agnes said. “You’re very well suited to help Nathaniel find his bride.”
“And he might be a bit of a fool, making a list like that and leaving it where it could be found,” Violet said.
“But he isn’t a bad man, so you don’t need to worry that you’re doing anything wrong by helping him.
I believe he will be honest with whoever he marries.
He will let her know what he wants from a marriage, and he won’t treat her badly. ”
“I agree,” Agnes said. “He can be a bit gruff, but he’s a good man.”
Dorothy nodded. She had the same impression of Nathaniel. He was frustrating and a bit thoughtless, but she didn’t think of him as someone cruel. It didn’t worry her to think that she might be responsible for someone finding herself married to him.
“I just wonder what’s made him suddenly decide to pursue marriage, after all these years,” Agnes mused.
“I always thought he had no interest in such things, and to be honest, I think Gabriel thought the same. We assumed he would spend the rest of his days as a bachelor. Something must have happened to change his mind—did he give you any hint as to what that might have been, Dorothy?”
Dorothy hesitated.
She knew what had changed Nathaniel’s mind, of course.
He had told her outright that there was a child in the picture and that he was looking for someone to fill the role of mother to that child.
But how could it be that Agnes and Violet didn’t know this already?
She’d been surprised that she hadn’t known Nathaniel had a child, but she had assumed that it must simply have failed to come up when they had socialized in the past. After all, there was no reason she needed to know such a thing.
But surely he would have told his closest friends. And wouldn’t they have told their wives? Agnes and Violet must know that there was a child.
Mustn’t they?
If they didn’t know, she thought, it was not her place to tell them. It was Nathaniel’s business. She wouldn’t share his personal secrets with anyone. She would keep it to herself, even though it might not be a secret at all.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I suppose a gentleman changes his mind about many things over the course of his life.”
She wondered why she didn’t just tell the secret.
He had certainly put her in an awkward position if it was true that he didn’t want anyone to know…
and yet, here she was, going along with it.
Was it just a desire to be a decent person?
Or was there something else at play here—something that was driving her to show more loyalty to a gentleman she hardly knew than to the ladies who had been her friends for many years?
And how was it possible that Nathaniel had a child nobody—not even his closest friends, perhaps—knew about?