Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Alice allowed Beth to dress her for the ball.
She moved through the preparations in a complete daze, her fingers repeatedly drifting up to her swollen lips as she replayed the moment in the library again and again.
What had she done to make Anthony stop so abruptly?
Had she kissed him wrongly? It had felt wonderful to her, so wonderful that virtue itself had seemed a small price to pay.
Did such kisses feel that way for everyone?
If so, she did not know how married couples managed to accomplish anything else at all.
Perhaps it had not felt the same for him. Or perhaps he was so accustomed to kissing young women that he had done it without thinking, only to remember the ramifications should Henry ever find out.
Whatever the reason, she felt both hurt and humiliated. She had lowered her guard with him, allowed herself to become distracted from her true purpose. She was in London to find a husband and save her family, not to lose her head over her brother’s best friend.
Duchess wandered over and rubbed against her leg. Alice smiled despite herself, earning a frown from Beth.
“Could we at least keep that cat out of your dressing room so that you do not get your dresses covered in her fur before you have even had the opportunity to wear them?” the maid grumbled.
Even Alice had to concede that was probably a sensible idea. She gently shooed a very indignant Duchess out.
“Are you feeling quite well, miss?” Beth asked. “You are very quiet today.”
“I am in fine health, thank you,” Alice replied. “Just a little homesick.”
“That is understandable,” said Beth, guiding Alice over to sit down at the dressing table so she could do her hair.
“Do you miss home?” Alice asked.
“A little,” admitted Beth. “Coming to London is certainly an adventure, but I will be happy to return to Kent.”
Alice nodded her agreement. She missed her home terribly.
It was an ache which only dulled when she was out riding with Anthony, or maybe when she was with Anthony at all .
. . Oh, for goodness’ sake! She was being ridiculous.
She needed to focus on finding a husband so she could get back to her family where she belonged and lick her wounds in peace until her wedding.
Anthony would still live on the neighbouring estate, but that was infinitely preferable to sharing a house with him here.
With any luck, her future husband would live somewhere she need never encounter Lord Tonbridge again.
She studied her reflection in the mirror. It was time to forget about Anthony. He did not want her, even if he had turned out to be far less of a rake than she had once believed. She must concentrate on securing a good match as quickly as possible.
Despite her best intentions, and knowing Anthony would not be at the ball that evening, Alice found herself searching for him at every opportunity.
She should have been able to relax, safe in the knowledge that he would not be watching her from some shadowed corner of the ballroom, brooding with a glass of champagne in his hands.
Her dance card was full, but not one of her dance partners was even half as handsome as Anthony and there was no sign of the mysterious gentleman from the park.
None of the men there made her laugh and her heart beat resolutely steadily during the whole evening, except for a moment when she mistook someone else for Anthony lounging against a pillar.
Four of the gentlemen she danced with were from her list. When she returned to her aunt’s house and went up to her room, she took out the now rather crumpled piece of paper and resolutely crossed out each of those four names, before regretting her actions a moment later and adding three of them back in (Lord Ashby, with his dreadful halitosis, remained firmly struck off).
It was not their fault they were not Anthony.
She was simply in a terrible mood, and how fussy could she actually afford to be at this point?
Alice came downstairs for a very late breakfast the next morning. She felt nauseous and had little appetite, but hoped some tea and toast might settle her stomach. She had barely slept, rehearsing in her mind how she would behave when she next saw Anthony.
She paused in the hallway to smooth down her dress and check her hair in the mirror. It would be fine. They were both adults.
The breakfast room was empty when Alice entered and she debated turning right around and retreating upstairs rather than risking Anthony potentially coming in just as she had sat down and having to spend the whole of her breakfast alone with him, but as she was about to bolt, Aunt Jane entered.
“Good morning, Alice,” said her aunt cheerfully. “You look rather pale. Are you sure you would not be better off returning to bed? I am not at all convinced city life agrees with you, my dear.”
“Thank you, but I am quite well,” Alice replied. “I am perhaps a little tired after last night, but it is a beautiful day, and a walk after breakfast will do me more good than trying to get back to sleep, I think.”
Her aunt nodded.
“It appears Lord Worthing will not be joining us for breakfast. Urgent business has called him back to his estate. He will be heading there directly after an appointment this afternoon and has already left to complete some errands.” Lady Jane eyed her carefully.
“Apparently, the work will be finished on his London house when he returns and so he will be residing there. I imagine you will miss his company. Although I am sure he will continue to take you out riding whenever he is able. Unless, of course, the two of you have argued . . .”
“Why would you think we had argued?” Alice asked, staring fixedly into her tea cup.
“Just a hunch I have,” Lady Jane said with a small shrug. “You two have always teased and annoyed one another, but lately you seemed to be getting on rather better. And now this sudden departure . . .”
“It can hardly be my fault that there is an emergency on his estate,” Alice said lightly. She turned her attention to pouring herself a fresh cup of tea.
“Of course not,” smiled Aunt Jane. “Anyway, I plan to relax today after all the excitement of last night. Lady Plummington did a wonderful job hosting her ball. It was such a beautiful event, quite my favourite of the Season, but I am simply exhausted. Maybe you will join me to play some cards later?”
“Certainly, Aunt.” Alice stood up, this seemed as good an opportunity as any to make her escape back to her bedroom so she could decide what she thought about Anthony’s sudden departure. At the moment, disappointment, relief and embarrassment were all vying for space in her head.
“Oh, and there is something for you in the drawing room, dear,” Lady Jane called out as Alice was leaving the room.
Curious despite her desire to hide away, Alice took a detour to the drawing room where a beautiful bouquet of flowers had been placed on one of the tables, the light scent filling the space and reminding her of walking through the gardens of Fairfax Hall at this time of year.
In fact, looking closer at the blooms, she realised they were all ones to be found in their full glory in her family’s garden now.
A tear threatened at the corner of her eye and she quickly wiped it away.
An envelope and a small book shaped parcel leant against the bouquet.
Alice stroked the petal of a pale pink rose before she picked up the envelope and opened it to find a piece of white card inside.
She already knew who the flowers were from before reading the words on it.
Hoping we can be friends. A. She smiled sadly and placed the card in her pocket.
She ripped open the parcel and found it contained ‘Emma’ by Jane Austen.
She held the book to her chest for a moment.
She jumped as a voice behind her said, “Would you like me to arrange your flowers for you and bring them up to your room, miss?”
“No, thank you, Beth,” said Alice, recovering her composure. “I shall do it myself if you could just find me a vase and take them upstairs.”
Alice took her time arranging the flowers.
He had chosen a beautiful and very thoughtful selection, and she had to admit sending them was a nice gesture.
Could she be friends with Anthony? They had been at loggerheads for so long that up until a few weeks ago she would have thought it would have been impossible, and yet they had formed a friendship of sorts since she had been in London and she had enjoyed spending time with him.
But she had to admit it was one based on attraction.
It seemed that attraction was one-sided, however.
Whatever her feelings towards Anthony, though, he was her brother’s best friend.
She could not spend her whole life ignoring him, as much as she might like to.
And then there were Sarah and Charlie. Alice had so enjoyed the time she had spent with them and the thought of not seeing them again saddened her.
And she had promised Charlie she would visit again soon; she was not one to go back on her promises.
Which meant that she had to find a way to at least occasionally be around Anthony.
It could not be that hard, surely? He was certain to do something annoying soon which would restore some of the lost equilibrium to their relationship .
. . That did not do anything to help the fact that the next time they saw each other was going to be extremely awkward though . . .