Chapter 22 #2
Alice remained in her room with Duchess for the rest of the day.
Her usually aloof cat stayed close by her side, while Alice lay curled up on the bed, going over and over what had happened in the garden the previous night.
Was there anything else she could do to attempt to repair things with Sir Marcus?
Probably not, anything further would likely be verging on impropriety.
She would just have to wait and see if he decided to pay her a call when he returned to London.
Those few days stretched ahead of her like an eternity.
She could not face any formal outings. She was weary of dressing in her finest gowns and being paraded about in hopes of attracting a suitable gentleman.
What she truly longed for was to return home to her family and her animals, but she could not do so while Anthony remained at his estate.
She would simply have to endure London a while longer.
Aunt Jane was kind and patient, allowing Alice to miss any events she did not feel equal to, while ensuring she was available for quiet games of cards or reading when her niece felt up to company.
She never pressed for an explanation. Her aunt’s steady support made Alice miss her own mother even more keenly, though she had been very young when she lost her.
Aunt Jane had gone out to make some calls one afternoon and Alice was reading in the drawing room.
Her head felt thick and achy from spending so much time indoors, but she could not face going out for a walk.
It was a fine day and she was considering moving into the garden when she heard the doorbell ring and a male voice speaking when it was answered.
She could not make out what was being said and by whom.
Might it be Anthony? She could not see him.
Panicked, Alice considered saying she was not available for visitors, but what if it was Sir Marcus coming to inquire after her health?
He had wanted to speak to her alone on the night of that fatal kiss.
Perhaps he had come to tell her whatever it was he had wanted to say now . . .
Frozen in place, she heard footsteps approaching. She stood as Henry walked into the room. At the sight of her brother, Alice burst into tears once more. He strode across the room and pulled her into a tight hug.
“It is going to be all right,” he murmured, rocking her gently as though she were still a child.
When her tears finally subsided, he asked, “Are you feeling up to a ride? I have brought Rosalind for you.”
As much as Alice wanted nothing to do with anything connected to Anthony, she could not resist the chance to ride Rosalind. She nodded.
“Go and change, then. I shall wait downstairs,” he said kindly.
Discovering Beth was occupied, Alice quickly dressed herself in her deep green riding habit and tidied her hair.
Her brother looked thoughtful when she returned, but they did not speak of serious matters immediately. Henry seemed to understand that time on horseback would help her gather her thoughts.
Alice had to stop herself from running out of the front door. She had missed Rosalind terribly.
The mare gave a soft whinny and stepped forward to greet her. Alice stroked her velvet nose. “It is good to see you, girl,” she whispered. She surreptitiously checked the horse over as she mounted. Anthony’s grooms had clearly cared for her well; the mare was in excellent condition.
They rode side by side into Hyde Park but left Rotten Row as soon as possible. Once surrounded by greenery and away from prying eyes, Henry stopped his horse and dismounted, signalling for Alice to do the same.
They walked in silence for a moment, leading their horses by the reins, before Henry spoke. “Aunt Jane is worried about you.”
“There is no need,” Alice replied. “I . . . I simply required some time to myself.”
Henry nodded. “She wrote to me. You have not been out of her house since you left the house party so abruptly. A house party organised entirely for your benefit. Now, I know you, Alice. However much you disliked it, you would not have fled like that unless something truly upset you.”
Alice hung her head, not knowing what to say. She did not want to lie to her brother, but she also could not tell him what had really gone on in Anthony’s gardens. Not least because of how angry he would be with her and Anthony.
She took a deep breath. “Something did happen, but it is nothing you need to involve yourself in. I promise I would tell you if I needed help. I simply found everything rather overwhelming and had to get away. But I am feeling much better now and ready to return to the activities Aunt Jane has so kindly arranged.”
“That was the other thing I came to tell you,” Henry said.
“There is no need for you to continue this quest of yours. I have received help with the estate’s finances.
We are in a much better position and the future looks stable.
We do not have to sell or rent out the house, and there is no need for you to marry unless you truly wish to.
You can come home, if that is what you desire, and put all thoughts of helping financially behind you. ”
Alice’s mouth fell open. “What has happened? How have things improved so much? You have not sold the horses, have you?”
Henry looked supremely uncomfortable. “Of course not! I would never do that without speaking to you first. I know how much they mean to you.”
“I am sorry,” Alice said quickly. “I know you would not.”
“I am selling some of the land and reorganising the rest to make it more productive. I will use the proceeds from the sale to renovate derelict buildings for tenants, and I am looking into constructing more.”
“That is wonderful,” Alice said softly.
“I hope so. I have been taking advice,” Henry explained. “But I was previously determined to keep every acre. I have now been convinced it is wiser to retain the house and the best land than risk losing everything. Do not worry, none of your favourite riding spots were included in the sale.”
“Thank you,” Alice said, hugging him tightly. “Father would be very impressed with how you have turned things around.”
Relief flooded her for her brother and the family’s future, yet she knew she would not return home immediately.
As tempting as it was, she could not live so close to Anthony.
She could not bear seeing him or his home every time she rode out, especially once he married Sarah and perhaps had children. It would be more than she could endure.
At least she no longer needed to marry purely for money. That was some consolation, and it meant she need not rush to find a husband. Yet where would she live in the meantime? She could not impose on Aunt Jane forever, though her kind aunt had never once hinted at any limit to her stay.
They remounted and began the return journey to Aunt Jane’s house.
“I am afraid I cannot stay long once I have escorted you back,” Henry said. “You will have to give my apologies to Aunt Jane and tell her I promise to visit soon with your sisters. I have estate business awaiting me.”
“I shall let her know,” Alice replied.
“And thank you, Alice,” Henry said seriously, “for everything you tried to do for us. Mother and Father would have been very proud.”
Alice gave him a little smile. None of her plans had come to fruition and she had managed to get herself in a far worse state by attempting to take matters into her own hands rather than just trusting her brother and staying to support him.
But then, if she had not come to London she never would have had the opportunity to know Anthony better.
Or to meet Sarah and Charlie. Never gone riding with Anthony in Hyde Park.
Never known what it was like to waltz with him.
Or to kiss him. And all those memories were so incredibly precious to her.
Would she really be better off not having experienced any of that, even if thinking about it now brought her so much pain?