Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Now that her mind was made up, Alice felt there was not a moment to lose.
She had to see Anthony tonight. She needed to thank him in person for the extraordinarily generous gift of Rosalind and, if possible, repair their friendship enough that they might at least occupy the same room without unbearable tension.
It was the perfect opportunity for her aunt would be out for hours and need never know she had left the house.
All she had to do was convince the servants she had retired for the night and then slip out . . . somehow.
She would require a disguise. How she wished she had not returned the stable boy’s clothing to Anthony; it would have been ideal. Deep in thought, she made her way upstairs to her bedchamber and found Beth already there, turning down the bed for the night.
Alice looked her maid up and down and smiled. A noblewoman could not wander the streets of London after dark, but a maid could. A maid delivering an urgent message to Lord Tonbridge would raise few eyebrows as she hurried past people.
“Beth, I have a rather strange request to make of you,” Alice said.
“How can I help you, miss?” replied the maid.
“I need to borrow your uniform for a few hours. I must speak with someone and cannot be recognised walking the streets at night.”
“But I can arrange for a message to be delivered,” Beth suggested. “Or I can take it myself.”
“Thank you, Beth, that is very kind, but it must be me who goes.”
“I do not think that a very good idea, Miss Fairfax…”
“You are probably right,” Alice said with a nervous laugh. “It is likely a terrible idea, but I must do it and I need your help. I promise I shall be careful and will only be gone a short while. I shall be back well before my aunt returns.”
Beth looked deeply uncertain, and Alice felt a pang of guilt. She did not wish to involve the maid and make her worry, but she could think of no other way.
“Please, Beth. I would not ask if it were not truly important. And you know I would never allow you to suffer for helping me.”
“Very well, miss,” Beth said at last, though she shook her head. “But please keep to the main roads and well-lit areas.”
“I will,” Alice reassured her.
“I shall fetch you a clean uniform,” Beth said, still looking reluctant.
Once Alice’s disguise was complete, she slipped out of the front door of her aunt’s house, praying no one would notice. As a maid, she ought to have used the servants’ entrance, but there was far more risk of encountering household staff that way.
She kept her head down and walked briskly toward Anthony’s residence, hoping her simple maid’s attire of a plain grey dress with white apron and cap and a dark cloak would allow her to pass unnoticed.
She stuck to the main roads as promised, but they were strangely quiet.
The reason became clear when heavy rain began to fall.
Thankfully Beth had lent her the cloak, but it offered little protection against the driving downpour.
She was more than halfway to Anthony’s house before it occurred to her that he might not even be at home.
The thought, combined with the rain now lashing into her face, nearly convinced her to turn back.
But he could not be available tomorrow either, and then she would have to visit him accompanied by her aunt .
. . She steeled herself and pressed on. If he was not there, she would enquire at his clubs.
As a maid, she could ask after him without raising suspicion.
The walk felt endless. She had only ever travelled by carriage in the evenings before, and never alone. Terrible stories of what could happen to young ladies out at night ran through her mind.
She walked faster, staying close to the street lamps and glancing around frequently.
A black cat darting across her path nearly stopped her heart, and she broke into a run, grateful the streets were empty.
Finally, she stood before Anthony’s imposing townhouse, which looked even more grand and intimidating at night.
What on earth was she thinking? She could not possibly march up to the front door dressed as a maid.
She would be turned away instantly. She would have to go round to the servants’ entrance .
. . But what would she say? What if one of the staff recognised her?
She needed to work out what to do and fast before someone saw her loitering outside.
She slipped around the side of the house toward the mews to think and to see Rosalind. Hiding in the mare’s stall would at least get her out of the rain and give her time to form a plan.
She heaved a sigh of relief when she reached the stables and saw Rosalind. The mare whinnied softly in greeting. “Shush,” Alice whispered, slipping into the stall. “No one is supposed to know I am here.”
She stroked the horse’s warm neck, trying to calm her own racing heart and decide what to do next. She could still turn back. Only Beth knew she had left, and her aunt would not return for hours. No harm would be done if she simply went home, dried off, and forgot this foolish escapade.
But she had come this far. This might be her only chance to speak with Anthony alone. She could not continue with things as they were between them. She just needed to work out what to say and try to ensure that she was not recognised. Maybe she could put on an accent . . .
Alice jumped as she heard the sound of a carriage coming down towards the stables. Anthony’s carriage presumably.
Alice ducked down, peeping cautiously over the top of the stable’s half door as the carriage pulled to a halt in front of the stables.
The carriage door opened and Anthony exited it. Alice watched as Anthony helped Sarah climb out. The driver got down and Anthony said something to him before reaching inside the carriage and re-emerging with a sleeping Charlie in his arms.
“I cannot believe we had the carriage brought round the back so Charlie could say goodnight to the horses, only for him to fall fast asleep on the way home!” Anthony said with a soft laugh.
Sarah smiled. “It is late, and he has had a very exciting evening.”
“True. Let us get him inside and into bed,” Anthony replied, gazing down at the boy with clear affection.
They looked like a perfect little family as they disappeared through the garden gate.
Alice felt as though she had been struck in the chest. She had known that she would not be able to bear this sight, but seeing it so unexpectedly, so intimately, was far worse than she had imagined. She rose quickly, intending to flee back to Aunt Jane’s house and wallow in private.
“Oi! What are you doing there?” a male voice called from the shadows. “Come out where I can see you.”
Alice slowly stepped out of the stable and into the light of the lantern the man held in front of him. She recognised him as one of Anthony’s grooms. His eyes widened as he clearly realised who she was at the same time.
“Miss Fairfax!” he said, lowering his lamp so the glare was out of her eyes.
“I must apologise, I did not realise it was you.” He looked around anxiously, presumably unsure what to do in this very bizarre situation.
He was rescued by Anthony calling, “Is there a problem there?” as he came back through the gate. “What is going on?”
Alice wished the ground would swallow her whole. Her first instinct was to run, but it was far too late for that.
“Alice!” Anthony said, astonishment clear in his voice. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“I . . . um . . .” she faltered.
“What has happened?”
“I came to see you,” Alice admitted.
“On foot?” Anthony’s gaze flicked to Rosalind’s stall as though expecting London’s murderers to be lined up inside it.
“Yes,” Alice said quietly.
Anthony turned to his groom. “Thank you, John. I will deal with this.”
Once the man had withdrawn, Anthony looked her up and down. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“So that I could slip out of my aunt’s house unnoticed . . . ”
“Please tell me you did not walk here alone.”
Her silence was answer enough. Anthony sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Come inside. You are soaked through.”
“No, I should not - ”
“You have come all this way and now you do not wish to speak with me?” His patience was clearly wearing thin. He turned and began heading towards the garden gate again.
Alice felt completely ridiculous and the only thing that could possibly make this worse was more people seeing her and knowing about how silly she had been.
Yes, she had not expected Charlie and Sarah to be with Anthony, but what did she actually think her grand gesture was going to achieve?
This is what came of reading too many novels, she told herself firmly.
Alice followed him meekly through the garden and into the house. They encountered no one until they reached the entrance hall, where Anthony’s butler appeared.
“Ah, Wilson,” Anthony said calmly. “It appears we have an unexpected guest. Miss Fairfax will be staying the night.”
Wilson bowed without a flicker of surprise. “I believe Mrs Baker has a room prepared for such eventualities, My Lord.”
Sarah came down the stairs. “He is settled. Did everything . . . Oh, Alice! What are you doing here? And why are you dressed as a maid? You’re soaked through!”
Alice did an awkward little wave of her hand before placing it firmly down by her side.
Anthony intervened smoothly. “Alice was caught in the rain. Would you have something she might change into for the night?”
A meaningful look passed between Anthony and Sarah. Alice glanced away.
“Of course,” Sarah said kindly before disappearing upstairs again.
“Wilson, if you could arrange for a note to be delivered, please. It will be ready shortly.”
“Certainly, My Lord,” said Wilson, who left, presumably in search of a delivery boy.
Anthony turned back to Alice. “I shall write to your aunt explaining that I required your assistance with an unexpected matter and that you will return to her after breakfast tomorrow.”
Alice opened her mouth to protest, but Anthony held up a hand. “It is late, and I am far too cross with you to speak properly tonight. The horses are already stabled, and it would be unfair to turn out my driver again. I suggest we retire and discuss matters in the morning.”
Alice nodded. As she moved toward the stairs, Anthony caught her arm.
“For God’s sake, Alice,” he said, his voice low and intense, eyes dark with a mixture of anger and something far deeper.
“You have lived protected in the countryside your whole life, yet you must have some idea of the dangers you could have faced. What were you thinking?”
“I . . . I simply needed to see you,” she whispered, hanging her head. “I am sorry.”
Anthony’s expression softened. For a moment she thought he might pull her into his arms, but he closed his eyes, took a steadying breath, and released her. “Your room is the second door on the left at the top of the stairs.”
He turned and walked away down the hallway toward his study, leaving Alice standing in the grand entrance hall, heart pounding and mind in turmoil.She had come seeking answers and reconciliation, but seeing him with Sarah and Charlie had only deepened the ache in her chest. And yet, the way he had looked at her just now .
. . She climbed the stairs on unsteady legs, wondering how she would survive until morning.