Chapter 27
Sebastian stood behind the desk in his study, ledgers and documents spread before him, sternly demanding his attention. A delighted laugh floated through the open window and drew a smile from him. He knew without looking that Darcy was upon the lawn with her sisters.
They had returned from Brighton only the day before, their interlude there a memory he hoped would remain with him for the rest of his life.
Darcy had become everything he had never realized was absent from his life.
It still baffled him that she had found and occupied some deep, uncharted place within him, a place once shaped by loneliness and filled only with duty.
Because of her, he had begun to imagine a life beyond obligation, to wonder what it might mean if she remained not for a few weeks or months, but for years.
His heart thudded at the thought. Even decades seemed insufficient to discover every facet of her or exhaust the happiness he suspected they might share.
He dragged a hand through his hair and forced his attention back to the matter before him: the financial arrangements for his half-sisters. Every detail must be exact and every provision beyond reproach.
The door opened softly. He did not look up at once, though he knew her presence before she spoke.
When Sebastian lifted his gaze, Darcy stood upon the threshold, the afternoon light warming her yellow day gown.
Its simple elegance made the gentle curves of her figure all the more distracting.
Her hair was arranged in a modest chignon, with a few tendrils brushing her cheeks, and his chest tightened with the need to draw her into his arms and kiss her.
“Did you wish to see me?” she asked.
“I did.” His tone remained controlled despite the instinct urging him to cross the room and take her into his arms. “This is a matter of business.”
She inclined her head and moved farther into the room, taking a seat upon the sofa near the hearth, her posture attentive, her gaze steady upon him.
Sebastian drew a steadying breath. “Peabody absconded with a portion of the money my father set aside, but the firm has recovered more than half. I shall restore what remains missing and increase each settlement.”
Her fingers tightened slightly in her lap, though she did not interrupt.
“I have established three trusts,” he continued.
“Emelia, Jane, and Sarah will each receive fifteen thousand pounds upon marriage or upon reaching five-and-twenty. Should one of your sisters marry before that age, half of her portion will be settled to her separate use, beyond her husband’s control, with the remainder serving as her dowry. ”
Darcy’s eyes glistened, though she held herself composed.
“I have also purchased a manor in Hertfordshire,” he continued.
“It contains twenty rooms and will provide them with a comfortable home. An annual allowance will meet the household expenses, including servants and maintenance. My great-aunt, a widowed viscountess, has agreed to reside with them as guardian and chaperone and to oversee their education and eventual presentation.” He paused.
“Their wardrobes, instruction, and every reasonable requirement will be met.”
Silence followed.
Darcy spoke at last, her voice soft but steady. “Thank you. They will be safe and well cared for.” Her throat worked before she added, “It is all I have ever wanted for them.”
Sebastian watched her for a long moment, his heart wrenching at the emotion she made no attempt to conceal. “Will you allow me to make similar provision for you, Darcy?”
She smiled. “No,” she said gently.
Sebastian rose but remained behind his desk. “Darcy, consider what you are refusing.”
“You know I am Red.”
“I do,” he murmured. Whenever he had tried to speak of her identity, to ask whether she intended to relinquish it or continue as Red, Darcy had turned the conversation aside. That she wished to speak of it now persuaded him to remain silent and listen.
“I am sure you can guess why I took the commission from Rebecca.”
“I know it was for…our sisters.”
Darcy tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her chin dipping as a bright blush warmed her cheeks.
“I allowed myself such freedom with you as Red because, from the moment we met, I felt this sensual pull toward you. Every hour in your company made me want you more. It was never about money, Sebastian. Nothing that passed between us was a bargain.”
His damn heart lurched. “I know. I never once believed otherwise. I want to help because the thought of you facing the world without security has become intolerable to me.”
Another soft smile touched her mouth. “The commissions I receive from Rebecca are generous and more than sufficient for my needs. I have never lived lavishly, and I shall continue to manage my income with care.” A flicker of mischief entered her eyes.
“And I have not forgotten that you owe me one thousand pounds.”
Despite himself, his mouth curved. “Will you make the Hertfordshire house your home with them?”
Her expression shifted, the brightness fading into something more fragile and resolute. “How could I? I would become the poor spinster relation, living upon their generosity and dependent upon their household for my every comfort. I would be a burden.”
“You would not,” he said at once, his voice roughened. “It would be your home as surely as theirs.”
Darcy rose, and although her smile returned, it now spoke of decision rather than ease.
“For so long, I have lived for duty,” she said.
“I wish now to discover who I might be when duty does not dictate every choice. I want to travel. I want to see Florence, perhaps Egypt, and paint what I have never seen and study what I have never known. I shall visit my sisters often and write without fail, but I wish to live, whether wickedly or sedately, for myself.”
The admission left him momentarily without a response.
Then a sharp sense of loss wrenched through Sebastian at the thought of her life unfolding beyond him, rich and complete, yet containing no place for him.
He pushed away from the desk and crossed toward her, intent upon asking what he might offer that would make her choose to remain in his life a little bit longer.
A sharp, urgent knock sounded upon the door. Sebastian paused, irritation flaring as his butler entered at his summons, bearing a letter upon a silver tray.
“My lord,” he said, “this has just arrived.”
Sebastian took the letter. His attention shifted to the seal, though some part of him remained fixed upon Darcy.
It was from Caroline. He returned to his desk and reached for the letter opener with a precision that belied the tightening in his chest. After breaking the seal, he unfolded the page and read swiftly.
Dearest brother,
Mother has been seized by fits of such violent agitation that I fear for her health.
She will not tell me the cause, and although I sent for the physician at once, she refuses to heed his counsel.
Mama is resolved to travel to London posthaste, though he insists her heart remains unsettled and her body unequal to the journey.
I shall accompany her, for I cannot persuade her to remain in Bath. I beg you to have your physician awaiting us upon our arrival. I do not trust that she will rest until she has satisfied whatever concern now torments her.
Caroline
A cold sensation pierced Sebastian’s chest. His mother did not surrender to violent agitation without cause. He folded the letter with deliberate care, though his thoughts had already moved ahead, calculating what awaited him in London.
“I must leave at once.”
The words emerged low and controlled, but the urgency beneath them was unmistakable. He turned to the butler, who remained discreetly near the door.
“Have my carriage prepared,” Sebastian said. “I depart within the hour.”
“At once, my lord.”
The butler withdrew swiftly.
“Is something wrong?” Darcy asked, alarm threading through her voice. “Shall we prepare to travel as well?”
“No.” The word emerged more sharply than he intended. “My mother is unwell, and I must determine the cause. You and the girls are to remain here.”
Darcy stared at him, searching his face. “But—”
“I will send word,” he interrupted. “Remain at Raine Manor until you hear from me.”
The distance in his voice was unmistakable, a barrier raised so swiftly that Darcy evidently had no chance to understand it. There was no time to explain what he feared or consider what he might be leaving behind.
Still, Sebastian crossed to her, cupped her cheek, and pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. Darcy softened into his touch, and some of the tension knotted within him eased.
“I will return as soon as I can.”
He turned and strode from the study, issuing orders.
“Inform the staff that I am not to be delayed. Send word to London that my physician is to attend my mother the moment she arrives at Grosvenor Square.”
His voice carried down the corridor, sharp with command, and the household moved at once to obey.
Once the troubles awaiting him in London were settled, once he had assured himself that his mother and Caroline were well, he would return to Darcy.
He wanted to understand more of the dreams she held for her future, the ambitions she had spoken of with such quiet determination, and perhaps discover where he might fit within them.
They could remain friends. Perhaps even lovers, if that was what they both desired. He did not yet know what shape their relationship might take, only that he wanted it to continue.
Darcy had become important to him. And unless he had grievously misread everything that had passed between them, he mattered to her as well.
Whatever this thing between them was, Sebastian was not ready for it to end.
Not yet.