Kourtney
“Either I’m on a lot of pain meds, or Jason Stamos of the New Jersey Goldfinches is carrying me into bed right now.”
Jason laughs as he lowers Erika onto the bed. “You’re not too sedated to make jokes, I see.”
Erika winces as she adjusts herself, and I cringe with her. “Are you okay? Do you need anything right now?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t thank you guys enough for letting me stay here this week. This is too much.”
Celeste squeezes her ankle. “This is what friends are for. They’re there for each other when they get new vaginas.”
Erika laughs and then clutches her pelvis. “Ow, don’t make me laugh.”
Celeste holds her hands up on either side of her head. “I’m sorry!”
“Get out of here.” Jason turns Celeste around by her shoulders and ushers her toward me. “You both need to leave before you’re late for your meeting.”
“Good luck,” Erika calls after us.
“Make sure she takes her next dose of medicine if we’re not back in an hour.” Celeste points her index finger at Jason. “And you can call us if she needs to use the bathroom.”
Jason continues pushing her out the door behind me. “She’s in good hands.”
“Don’t let her get out of bed. The doctor said to keep walking to a minimum. Bathroom trips only.”
I laugh as I tug on Celeste’s elbow. “Come on. She’ll be fine.”
I drag Celeste down the hall to our office and close the door. We’re having a Zoom meeting with Tim to go over everything for the website.
Nerves dance through my bloodstream as we take our seats in front of the laptop and wait for the call to connect. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”
“Your dream is coming true.” Celeste nudges me with her elbow. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m proud of us.”
Tim’s face fills the screen when the call connects. “Hi, ladies. How are we doing today?”
“Hi, Tim. We’re doing great.” I flash him a bright smile. “Thanks so much for meeting with us today.”
“Of course.” He adjusts his silver frames on the bridge of his nose and clicks a button to share his screen. “So, here’s what we came up with since the last time we talked.”
I gasp as the mockup of the website fills the screen. “Oh, wow. Look at this.”
“We have our menu bar up at the top. Everything is color-coordinated based on the colorful specifications you gave me. We have a couple of stock photos here, but we can change those if you want something else.”
“This looks great.” My eyes bounce all over the screen. “Where will people go if they want to upload their own videos?”
“They’d have to create an account first.” Tim circles his mouse at the top by the menu. “They’ll create a secure login, and they’ll need to upload information for taxes and self-employment forms.”
“How will they receive payment?” Celeste asks.
“You’ll have a payment processor on your site. It’ll accept all major credit cards, as well as things like PayPal and Apple Pay. We’ll make it as easy as possible for people to transfer money.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “And the site will be able to withstand a lot of traffic?”
Tim grins. “Absolutely. I love the positive thinking.”
We continue to ask questions and discuss the logistics of everything. I take notes while Tim and Celeste talk about a marketing plan so that our website will be at the top of Google searches.
“Do we have a name for the website yet?” Tim asks.
Celeste turns to me and waits.
“Well, I originally wanted something sexy, like After Dark. But then I thought about it some more, and that name gives off the impression that we can only be on this website after dark—like it’s this taboo, scandalous thing.
And that’s not how I want this website to be portrayed.
People in the LGBTQ+ community spend years of their lives in the dark, hiding from who they truly are.
” I heave a sigh. “I want a name that’s going to embrace people of all walks of life and make them feel welcome, free of judgment. ”
Tim nods. “And it should be something quick and catchy. Think about all these one-word apps like Tinder and Hinge.”
“We’ll keep thinking about it,” Celeste says. “When do you see the site being up and running?”
“I’d say you’ll be ready to launch right before the holidays in December.”
My eyes widen. “That soon?”
He laughs. “Yes. You’re a top priority client. Celeste is a good friend of mine.”
I glance over at my friend. “She’s the best.”
“And I just want to say before we conclude this call, I truly love your idea here. My younger brother just came out a few years back, and he’s been having a hard time with dating because he’s a bit of a homebody.
I think your website will attract people who aren’t confident enough to go out and socialize.
It’s more than a porn site; it’s more than a dating app.
I think this is going to be huge. It’s a place for people to be who they truly are. ”
My heart soars hearing that kind of feedback. “Thank you for sharing that with me. If this website is something he’d be interested in, I’d love to give him a free membership.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
Tim and Celeste make small talk before we get ready to end the call.
Then an idea hits me. “What about Free Me?”
“Free Me,” Tim echoes.
“One word without a space: FreeMe,” Celeste thinks out loud. “Join FreeMe, a place where you can feel free to be.”
I smile. “I love it.”
Tim wags his finger at the screen. “That’s catchy. Perfect.”
Celeste and I slap our palms together.
“If I may make a suggestion…” Tim pauses.
“I know we talked about keeping your identity a secret, and I respect your wishes. But I also think it would draw in a lot of people to hear your story. People are always looking for someone they can relate to, and what better way to do that than to tell the story of how you founded this website?”
I shake my head. “I know what you’re saying, but I can’t. I don’t want my parents to know about what I’m doing, and I have to worry about my husband’s career too.”
“Understood.” Tim waves me away. “I totally get it. I just wanted to put it out there.”
“Thank you so much for your time today,” Celeste says.
“I’ll be in touch with you in the upcoming weeks.”
“Bye, Tim.”
Celeste clicks the red button at the bottom of the screen and closes the laptop. “FreeMe. You’re a genius.”
I slump back against the chair. “Yeah, a genius who can’t own up to the name of her own company.”
“Hey, don’t get down on yourself right now. Your website is going to launch next month. We should be celebrating.”
“Am I crazy for doing this? Is this stupid to think I can handle this on top of helping my parents with their catering business?” I rub my temples. “What if the website tanks and we wasted all this money?”
Celeste cups my shoulders and spins my chair to face her.
“Listen to me, and listen good. It doesn’t matter if the website is a huge success or not—which it will be.
What matters is that you’re reaching for the stars.
You have a dream, and you’re going after it.
You’ll never get anywhere in life if you don’t try.
So don’t think about the what ifs, and only focus on the fuck yesses. ”
I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. “I love you, you know that?”
“I love you too, little mouse.” She pushes out of her chair and holds her hand out for me. “Come on. Let’s go see if Erika will let us check out her new vagina.”
“There’s no way you could keep an erection for that long. They definitely take Viagra.”
“I don’t need a pill to stay hard.” Jason points at the video on Celeste’s phone. “They cut between takes. All I need is a couple of minutes, and then I’m ready to go again.”
“I hate the dialogue in porn.” Celeste curls her top lip. “It’s so corny. Like, no one is watching porn for the plot. Why bother?”
I hold up the book I’m reading. “That’s why we read romance books. Spice with a good plot.”
Jason tilts the cover to see it. “That’s Cassidy’s latest book?”
“Yup. It’s good. She’s so talented.”
“Did you read the one she wrote while she was fake dating Trenton?” Celeste beams. “I’m in it!”
I laugh. “Yes, I read that one. I knew the fiery red-headed PR agent was you the whole time.”
Cassidy is a best-selling romance author, and she ended up having to pretend to date Trenton after pictures of the two of them spread like wildfire on the internet. She used the real-life situation to write a romance book about it, and it has been her best-selling book to date.
“We should tell her about our situation.” Celeste gestures between the three of us lying in bed together. “Now that’s some best-selling material.”
Jason smirks. “Could you imagine if the team found out what we were doing?”
Celeste cackles. “McKinley would want to join in.”
“Coach would have something to say about it though.” Jason lets his head fall back against the headboard. “It would turn into a PR nightmare for sure.”
I set my book in my lap and watch as the two of them talk and laugh, like this is the most natural thing in the world to sit up in bed and talk before we fall asleep.
The tie between Jason and Celeste has been growing stronger. I can feel it, and it excites me in ways I can’t even begin to comprehend.
Is there something wrong with me that I love seeing the two of them together?
Is it strange to get off on watching my husband give his affection to someone else?
I know it’s not the norm in society. I know we’re taught that love is between two people. But then why do I feel so strongly about this? How can it be wrong when my heart feels certain that this is how I need my life to be?
I imagine sitting at my parents’ dinner table, Jason to my left and Celeste to my right; my father laughing at something Jason said; my mother clasping Celeste’s hand and sharing a story with her.
We’ve dined with them countless times in the past, but would it look the same if my parents knew the three of us were together?
My mother would ramble uncomfortably so as not to address the elephant in the room.
My father would opt for silence while he eats. His unacceptance would speak volumes.
Or would they turn me away and cut ties? Maybe there wouldn’t be a dinner with us at all.
Would I really have to choose between the people I fell in love with and my parents?
“Uh-oh.” Celeste’s voice breaks through my tumultuous thoughts. “Something’s wrong. She’s got that faraway look in her eyes.”
Jason wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. “What’s going on inside that beautiful head?”
I snuggle against his bare chest and breathe in his familiar scent. “Just thinking about my parents.”
“Do you think they’ll take the trip to Italy they’ve been talking about?” he asks.
“I hope so. I sent them information on a two-week holiday cruise. I know my mom would hate to not be with us on Christmas, but it would be magical to be in Italy during that time.”
“We should go on a vacation when the season is over.” Jason nudges Celeste. “The three of us.”
“Where would you want to go?” Celeste asks.
I school my features to conceal my surprise that Celeste is entertaining this idea at all. “Why don’t we go to Greece? We could visit the place where Jason’s mother grew up, and the pictures always look breathtaking.”
Jason squeezes me. “I would love to go to Greece.”
“I already know how to speak Greek.” Celeste sits up and points at Jason. “Vlakas.”
His shoulders shake as he laughs. “You only know the vulgar words. You can’t go around cursing people out and telling them that you’re going to fuck them when we get to Greece.”
“Why not?” She shrugs. “How is that any different than the way I speak to Americans?”
“True.” His laughter dies down. “Why don’t I teach you some basics?”
She arches a brow. “Can you do it while wearing a suit and holding a ruler?”
“Oh, yes. And your black-rimmed glasses.” I lean over to look at Celeste. “He looks so fuckable in his glasses. Like Clark Kent, but hotter.”
Celeste nods. “We can wear plaid school-girl skirts.”
Jason leans in and places a kiss against my temple before doing the same to Celeste. “This is starting to sound like a bad porno.”
“Not a porno.” Celeste waggles her eyebrows. “I just learn best when there’s an incentive.”
I toss my book onto my nightstand and crawl over to Celeste. “A kiss for every word you pronounce correctly?”
“Game on.”
“Let’s start with hello.” I hover above her lips, pressing my body against hers. “Geiá sou.”
“Geiá sou.”
I drop a kiss to her lips. “Very good. Now let’s try How are you? Say, pós eisai.”
“Pós eisai.”
I give her another kiss. “Eísai ómorfos.”
She repeats it to me. “What does that mean?”
“You’re beautiful.” I drag my lips down her neck. “Eísai séxi.”
She giggles as she says it. “That one’s easy.”
I push up her T-shirt and kiss along her stomach. “Se thélo.”
“Se thélo.” Her breath catches in her throat as I kiss my way below her belly button. “What does that mean?”
“It means I want you.”
She lifts her hips as I tug her shorts down her legs. “H-how do you say I need you?”
I glance up at my husband, and he lays down on his side, propping up his head with his hand as he leans on his elbow to face us. “Se chreiázomai.”
Celeste’s eyebrows jump. “Se chre...”
I swipe my tongue over her clit. “Try again.”
She butchers the word, and Jason cups her face and speaks against her lips as he repeats, “Se chreiázomai.”
She moans as I lick her again. “Se chreiázomai.”
“Keep her quiet,” I say to Jason. “We wouldn’t want to wake Erika down the hall. She needs her rest.”
Jason claims Celeste’s mouth without hesitation, and I bury my face between her thighs.
And not one of us takes out our phones to hit record.