Chapter 16 #3
“I see.” The goddess pours herself another cup of tea and sits back, hands framing the porcelain. Without her usual face paint, she appears younger, more approachable. “Did he do something in particular that bothered you?”
Yes—and no. There is much I might say, were my circumstances different.
But I am forbidden to expose the true nature of our relationship.
I cannot speak of Eastern Blood. And where has my bargain with Eurus left me?
Trapped in this realm of gods, no allies, no friends.
It hurts to find my situation no different than it was back home. Am I not worthy of something better?
“If you must know,” I say, fiddling with the fabric of my dress, “I d-didn’t choose to come here.”
She cants her head, and I’ve the distinct impression of being cornered, as a hare is forced into its burrow. “What do you mean?”
I could stop there. I could excuse myself and return to my suite with Demi none the wiser. But perhaps it’s time I place my trust in another. “I’m not here as Eurus’ assistant. I’m here as his c-captive. I was taken from my home in St. Laurent. Eurus and I… made a deal.”
“A deal?” Her gaze sharpens.
I nod. “If I agreed to assist him during the tournament, he would set me free and return me h-home.”
Nervously, I watch the goddess’ features. I search for a pleat of skin around her eyes, a bend of her mouth, anything that might indicate how she receives this revelation.
“I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this situation, Min from Marles,” she at last replies. “Believe it or not, I do understand what it means to be a captive, though only from what a beloved member of the family has told me.”
My confusion must be plain, for she goes on, “I mentioned my daughter before, but I did not tell you that she was stolen from me. Yes. Stolen by a god of darkness. Trapped in his realm for months, allowed to return to me for only part of the year, to bring an end to winter’s chill. There is nothing I can do.”
“That’s horrible,” I say, appalled. “The Council of Gods will not help?”
“The council does not meddle with individual affairs,” she says with a strange lilt I recognize as irony. “And that is why it is pointless to bring your plight to them, if that is what you were hoping to do.”
That is, in fact, the last thing I intend to do. “I know they would not help a mortal. But I thought, maybe there was something you could do to help m-me?” I lift my eyes in hope. I am not beneath pleading my case.
Demi sighs before setting down her cup of tea untouched. My stomach is too twisted into knots to consider drinking anything. I wonder if Eurus even cares that I have left. It is a subtle rash against my skin, the thought that he does not.
“Historically, the divine keep our orders separate from the mortal realms. It is for everyone’s protection. That you have been brought to the City of Gods is unfortunate, but I fear my hands are tied.”
I nod, feeling entirely too small for this conversation, though I know it is not Demi’s intention. It is not my fault, after all. It was never my choice to make.
“Is there nothing you can do?” I ask.
She shakes her head, mouth pressed into severity. “No. By our laws, you belong to Eurus, and we gods do not take lightly to things being taken from us. We have gone to war over less.”
“I’m not an object,” I challenge. “I’m a person.”
“The divine do not see it that way.”
“Well, the way they see it is despicable,” I hiss out. Then I blink. Too harsh, these words. Too many points. “I’m s-sorry. I don’t know what came over m-m-me.”
“I do.” She chuckles. “You do not feel heard. Don’t ever be sorry for speaking your mind, love. There is no other way to live.” She then picks up her cup, brow knit in contemplation. “Perhaps it’s time you learned the truth.”
I sink lower in the chair, feeling worse than I did upon entering the room. “Not to offend, but I didn’t come here for advice about how to speak up for myself. I came here because I thought you m-might understand where I’m coming from.”
“I hear you, Min.” Demi levels me a gaze filled with so much compassion it eases the tension strangling my muscles. “But I wasn’t referring to you. I meant the truth about Eurus’ past.”
“Oh,” I manage weakly.
Demi sighs. It is a sound of prolonged suffering, yet acceptance, too.
“It was around Eurus’ sixteenth year when he and I first became lovers.
That was also the year Eurus’ father took a particular interest in him.
He was… not kind.” She frowns in a preoccupied manner.
“Very few of the divine possess what you would call nurturing tendencies. But Astraeus was something else entirely.”
Steam wafts upward from the pale-yellow tea, which tastes of grass and sunlight, brightest spring rolling across my tongue. It is an uneasy contrast to the darkness of the goddess’ words. “In what way?”
“He was brutal, ruthless, uncompromising. And he saved the worst of his wrath for Eurus. There were many days I saw him slathering salve over fresh bruises or nursing a recent break. As you can imagine, such treatment took its toll over the years.”
I do not need to imagine. I have lived it most of my life.
I hastily set down the cup, fighting for breath. It is too warm, the air stagnant. A bead of cold sweat wends its way down my spine.
I’d suspected that Eurus’ past involved abuse or neglect. But to have it confirmed, to hear of the horrendous treatment he endured at the hands of a person who should make him feel worthy, secure, loved… The East Wind and I are more alike than I realized.
“But that was not the worst of what Eurus faced,” Demi says softly.
My fingers grip the tops of my thighs. “What, exactly, did he face?”
The goddess’ features lie in shadow as she stares into her tea with faraway eyes, her skin having paled.
“A few months into our relationship, Eurus began to change. He grew detached and suffered from seemingly random outbursts of rage. I heard from Notus—one of his elder brothers—that Astraeus had taken Eurus away, far from the city. When Eurus returned, he was gravely wounded.”
I press a hand to my clammy forehead. It feels as if every past wound and break and scar has ignited across my body, rendering me breathless with pain. “In what way?” Only in pushing through the ugliness of the East Wind’s abuse will I truly understand him.
“There were strange scars on his back. When I asked him where they’d come from, he refused to tell me.
In the weeks that followed, intimacy between us declined.
He would not let me touch him. And then he began to cover up, eventually donning the cloak he now wears.
He grew mute, often not speaking for weeks.
” Her eyes glisten in remembrance. “One particularly stormy autumn, Astraeus again took his son away. When they returned months later, Eurus had wings.”
My mind struggles to make sense of it. “How—?”
“Experiments,” she clips out. “Conducted by his own father to twist Eurus into some beastly creature. Eurus tried cutting them off—multiple times. But the wings always grew back.”
I can only sit there, tongue slack, mind encased in a white fog. “Why would his father do such a thing?”
“I’m not sure. Eurus never spoke of it.” The goddess taps the toes of one bare foot against the table. “But it changed him.”
What does it mean that my heart aches for him? “Is it true that the Council of Gods refused to intervene?” That is, after all, what the East Wind claimed. One of the reasons he plans to enact his revenge.
Something flits across Demi’s lambent gaze. It is gone before I have the opportunity to decipher it. “As I said, the Council of Gods does not intervene in private affairs on principle. Their duty is to uphold the realm. And in the City of Gods, there is no law against a father punishing his child.”
Punishing? “We are talking about abuse,” I whisper, horrified.
“I never said this world was kind,” Demi replies, her gaze hardening. “Remember that you are mortal, Min from Marles. But the divine?” She shrugs. “That is just how we live.”
I’m woken by the thunk of a lock, the creak of hinges. Low voices, muffled beyond the walls of the guest bedroom in which I now sleep.
“No, you can’t see her,” Demi hisses. “Come back tomorrow.”
“It is tomorrow,” Eurus snarls with an aggression that could only belong to an incensed predator. “Midnight has come and gone! The second trial begins at noon.”
“And?”
“And I require her presence, seeing as she is my assistant.”
I roll my eyes only an instant before I hear the goddess snort. Too stubborn, this god. “I believe you are confusing captive with assistant. Min did not choose to work for you. She told me everything.”
Drip, drip, drip goes the quiet, like a wound bleeding out.
Pushing upright in bed, I peer toward the soft glow coming from beneath the bedroom door. This flimsy slab of wood, all that stands between the East Wind and myself. “What did she tell you?” Eurus demands.
“She has a name, and it is Min.”
An unexpected rush of gratitude warms me. It is not Demi’s duty to shield me, but she has stepped in when I sorely need it.
The East Wind sighs, a sound of surrender. “What did Min tell you?”
“That is for me to know and for you to never find out. Let me be clear: the council has no interest in the affairs of a mortal, but I certainly do. If any harm comes to her, there will be hell to pay.”
“So, you finally grew a backbone.” Despite the words, there is little heat behind them, almost as if the fight has gone out of him. “Tell me, Demi. Where was the council when I needed them? How am I to know you will not harm her to get to me?”
Fisting the blanket, I draw it up to my shivering chest as the goddess scoffs. “I would never lay a hand on her. She is good—too good for you, as far as I’m concerned.”