20. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Aliko
We leave New York to drive to Rhode Island the morning of the show.
It’s not a far drive, and we have only about an hour left.
No one wanted to hang around in the smallest state—except me, I guess—longer than necessary.
They’re considering going back to New York tomorrow, since it’s only about a four-hour drive.
The next shows we have are all an hour away from one another—Providence, Boston, and Worcester, however the hell you pronounce that word.
Strange that you can get to multiple states in just a few hours when we drove for half a day just to get through one. Land geography is strange. Nothing like the ocean.
I don’t want to go back to New York though. I need to get into the ocean and spend some time there. I need to recharge and just let myself be free for a little while. But I need to figure out how I am going to do that without causing a scene.
I’ve been lucky over the years, coming in and out of the ocean without causing attention. Maybe it’s just the worry I have over being noticed because of who I am now, since it happens so often, but if I go in human form, I shouldn’t have any problem.
But a lot of the beaches around here look small or are on private property, according to all the maps I looked at.
I’m just not sure I want to risk it. I zoom in and out of the map app, hoping to find a spot that looks like it’ll work for me.
Then an ad pops up—fuck, I hate these things.
Only this time, it’s actually something I need.
I click on the ad to “Rent Beach Houses in Your Area!!!” There are many of them, so many options. They’re all beautiful, and literally on the beach. This is perfect.
I crawl out of bed, walk to Dorian’s bedroom, and knock on the door.
“Yeah?” he calls.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
I open the door and step into his room that’s set up exactly like mine, just decorated in different colors.. It feels tiny with both of us in here.
“You think it would be okay if I rented a house while we’re here?”
He looks confused for a moment, then says, “I don’t see why not. But why?”
I give him the most truth I can.
“I’ve been on land for way too long. I really need some time in the ocean.”
Understanding flashes across his face. “Right. That makes sense. Maybe just talk to Lucia to let her know what’s going on.”
“Good idea. Thanks.”
I leave him alone and go back to my room to scroll through the different options. They’re all roughly around the same price, so what I need to focus on is space, distance to the beach, and privacy.
It doesn’t take long for me to find one that’s down a dead-end road, the sand literally at the back door, the private beach enclosed by trees and bushes on either side to make it truly private.
This is exactly what I need. I sit up straighter and scroll through more photos. It almost feels too good to be true.
Point Judith is a small village in Narragansett.
The photos show a beautiful but quaint area that is exactly what I am looking for.
And it’s only forty-five minutes from Providence and less than two hours from Boston, in case I need to show up for any promo stuff.
There isn’t much planned while we’re here, since we’re reaching the end of the tour and most of our promo happened at the beginning, but you never know when someone is going to have a new, bright idea.
I book the house for tomorrow through Thursday, thanking the gods that it’s available last minute. I pay, and when it goes through, I get a confirmation email that says I will get more information from the host soon.
Something inside me settles. I’m going to be in the ocean tomorrow.
I’ve warred with myself over who I am my whole life, but there is still a part of me that craves to be my true self and get lost in the ocean. It’s freeing. If only I could be myself in that body, everything would be perfect.
I busy myself on my phone until we pull up to the arena.
The first thing I do is find Lucia to let her know what’s going on.
She, of course, is very understanding, especially when I add that I will be available by phone if anything comes up.
She tells me she will figure it out and will only bother me if it’s something that can’t wait.
The guys and I take some photos before the show, since the team is documenting the entire thing. The first Monster Rock Star Tour. I heard it may be a movie.
I miss Leif setting up my kit, and I’m not sure where he is now.
I haven’t seen him since we showed up here.
In fact, I haven’t seen him since the morning after our date.
We both got busy with our own stuff and didn’t get as much time together as I’d wanted.
I was pulled left and right to do things with the guys, checking out New York City and using every waking moment as a photo op.
We deserve a week off after that, even if we only have a handful of shows left. I’m tired.
I wish Leif and I could have spent more time together in New York, doing more of the things we did when we went to eat together. I wish we could have walked around and held hands, ate at more restaurants, went to a show, to bars, done everything that people who are dating do.
Only I don’t think we are dating, even though I told him we were on a date, to which he seemed surprised in a good way.
I’m not sure where it went wrong or why, but of course it did, because when it comes to us talking about our situation, we never seem to get it right. Then we ignore it until it comes up again, get awkward, get quiet. It’s a cycle. At least we’re consistent.
I am pretty sure I’ll see him after the show tonight. During, too. No matter when I’m playing, or what time during the show, I know I can look to my left and see him standing there in the shadows, watching me and nodding along to the beat. It never fails.
This state is small but mighty. These fans are just as crazy, if not more, than the other shows we have been to so far. The energy is wild. Addicting. It sucks we only have one night here because I’d love to be in front of these people again.
Every time I look to my left, Leif is there. A few times I get too caught up to acknowledge him, but I try to wink when I catch his gaze long enough. And I feel his eyes on me the entire time.
We pass each other as I walk off stage and he heads toward it. I stop abruptly.
“Leif!” I call out, turning and following after him. He hasn’t made it to my kit yet. He stops and turns to face me, raising a brow.
“What’s up?”
“I booked a house for the week.”
“Cool. Where?”
“Narragansett? It looks nice.”
“I’ve heard it’s nice.”
“It’s right on the beach.” He gives me a smile that’s almost relieving, like he’s happy for me. “I, uh…” I scratch the back of neck and look around at the rest of the crew who are in earshot but don’t seem to be paying attention to us. I step closer, lowering my voice. “You should stay with me.”
“For the whole week?” he asks, eyes popping wide.
“Yes.”
“How would I—someone will notice I’m gone.”
“I’m sure you can come up with something,” I say.
The expression on his face doesn’t change, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking or what his answer will be. Then a smile slowly forms, and I let out a sigh of relief. He’s going to say yes.
“Yeah, I’ll come up with something. Just send me the address.”
I can’t help the grin that splits my face now. “I’ll be there tomorrow at two.”
I take a few steps back, still staring at him. Still smiling. Warmth floods my chest in an almost overwhelming way.
“You’re going to bump into the wall,” he says.
I laugh, then turn to make sure I don’t knock into any walls. I’m happier than I have been in a long time.
Not only do I get to spend the next six days at the beach, but I get to do it with Leif.