24. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
Aliko
I end the call with Giani, the realtor who will be helping me find a home.
She seemed thrilled to help me out and even gushed a little when she realized who I was.
Of course, I asked for discretion, to which she responded by telling me she was professional and would draw up paperwork for us to both sign.
“How did it go?” Leif asks, looking up at me from behind a pair of large sunglasses.
He’s been lounging in the sun on a chair all morning.
“Great, I think. She said she had a few houses in mind already. She has paperwork to send me and will also send along the listings for us to look at.”
“Us?” Leif questions.
“I’d like your opinion.”
“It’s your house, Aliko.”
There it is again. Every time I say something that would bring us closer, he shoots me down and I can’t figure out why he does it. I’ve held my tongue many times already, not saying what I want. But I just want to know why he keeps doing that, when his actions say otherwise.
Though, I guess I know the answer. It’s been the same answer since the beginning.
This needs to be easy.
Just a hookup. That’s all.
But I can’t help but wonder what more would be like. It’s tempting to think about, but I shouldn’t.
So, I leave it alone. I’ll decide on a house by myself.
We spend a few hours in the sun, with me going in and out of the water multiple times to cool off. The sunscreen is helping me not burn, but the sun is still drying me out. Leif reapplies the sunscreen multiple times.
When we go inside, we shower the salt and sand from our bodies, then get dressed, eat lunch, and watch TV. Leif scrolls through his phone.
It’s weird to not be active or doing something, but it’s also nice to relax and not have any responsibilities—to do what I want, when I want.
“Want to go out tonight?” Leif asks.
“Out where?”
“There’s a bar about a half mile away. It has karaoke. You could swoon me with your singing—finally.”
I think back to that first night we went to a karaoke bar and how much has changed since. Or maybe it hasn’t changed that much and it’s all in my head.
“Sounds fun, but if I’m going to sing, I can’t go like this.”
“Didn’t think you would. You know I’m fine with all your forms, Aliko.”
“Two.”
“Huh?”
“Two of my forms,” I correct. “You haven’t seen my third.”
He looks at me seriously. “Maybe you should show me.”
“I…” I’m not sure how to respond to that. I’d love to show him. But I’m not sure it’s something he’s ready for. Or maybe I’m not ready for it. “Yeah, maybe.”
He holds my gaze, his expression not giving anything away. Finally he pulls away and brings his attention back to the TV.
Why do I feel like I said something wrong? Did he want me to take him outside and do it right now? If so, he should have said that, right? How am I supposed to read his mind? How am I supposed to know what he wants all the time? It’s confusing.
“Do you—”
His words cut off when I get up from the couch quickly, lift him, and throw him over my shoulder.
“Whoa! What’s going on? What the hell are you doing?” He sounds a little panicked.
I storm through the living room, dining room, and out the back door, careful not to bump him against the frame. I hardly fit through it myself.
“Aliko!” he shouts. “What are you doing?”
I walk about halfway to the beach, then plop him into the sand, holding him steady so he doesn’t fall over. His hair is a mess, and he runs his hands through it to tame it.
“What the hell are we doing?” he asks again, this time sounding annoyed.
I take a few steps back. Look at him. Then take ten more.
“You need to move,” I say.
“What? Move where? You put me here.”
“Just switch spots with me,” I say, walking back toward him. He huffs but does as I ask and moves toward the house while I go toward the beach.
There. This should be good.
“Aliko, you’re freaking me out. What the hell is g—”
His words die on his tongue when I take off the amulet and toss it into the sand.
The shift starts slowly, like it always does. My feet and arms start to shrink closer to my body until they’re no longer there, while my arms thicken and lengthen. My body grows rounder and blows up like a balloon.
My vision, like this, in the light isn’t great, but it’s good enough to look down at Leif, who looks like a very small child to me right now. His jaw is in the sand; his neck craned all the way back to look up at me. I’m as tall as the cabin. If someone drove by, they may see me.
If someone passed by on a boat, they would definitely see me.
But I’m risking it. For him.
He finally snaps out of it and moves closer, looking up at me for as long as he can before he looks as if he will fall backwards.
“Can you talk to me this way?” he asks.
I can’t shake my head—I don’t have a head to shake. So I bring a tentacle toward him, the tip as thick as his head and shake that “no.”
“But you can understand me…” He smiles, shaking his head in awe. “Can I touch you?”
I brush my tentacle along his arm, and he shifts to the side.
“Easy,” he says with a laugh. “You’re strong.”
I wish I could tell him I’m sorry, but like this, it’s hard to be gentle.
He reaches out to run his hand along the tip of my tentacle, and it tingles. His touch is powerful too. He just doesn’t realize it.
“This is surreal,” he says, pushing a finger against my skin. “You feel kind of like a whale.” He laughs, then his face turns serious. “You’re beautiful like this too, Aliko. I hope you know that.”
Something heavy settles over me. I stand out more in this form than any other.
Yet it’s the one that makes me the most comfortable while being the one that I can’t be with Leif in.
I’m too big. Too unaware of my strength.
I could crush him just trying to hug him.
And never mind anything sexual. He’d split in half if I tried even putting a tentacle in him.
The human body can take a lot, but it can’t take this much.
I pat around in the sand with the tip of my arm to find the amulet and bring it to my skin which starts the shift. Once I’m fully there, I put the chain around my neck and make sure it’s secure.
“Aliko, that was amazing,” Leif says, walking toward me. He puts his hand on my chest. “Thank you for showing me that. I know not many humans have gotten to experience that.” He moves closer, leaning up on his toes to kiss my jaw. “Are you okay?”
“Is that what you wanted?” I ask. “To see me like that?”
“Of course I did, but I only wanted it if you wanted it, too.”
“Is that why you didn’t ask?”
“I—yeah, I guess.”
I nod and lean down to take his mouth, kissing him softly.
We go back inside, get comfortable on the couch, and continue to watch TV. Now and then, Leif looks at me with awe in his eyes, smiles, then turns back to the TV.
Around seven, we get ready to go to the karaoke bar. I switch the amulet for the ring and change into a pair of red Dickies shorts, a black T-shirt, and black Chucks.
The sun is starting to lower and the breeze from the ocean helps cool down the air, but the humidity still lingers, even this close to the ocean.
The bar is packed when we get there, but we order beers and find a spot to stand to watch people on stage. There is a pair of girls up there singing something about kissing girls and liking it. It’s not the type of music I usually listen to, but they’re having fun so it’s entertaining.
“Are you going to sing something?” Leif asks.
I nod. “Yeah, I think I will.”
I’m not sure why I’m still feeling down over what happened today. Leif is thrilled about me showing him my true self, yet there is still something in me that’s making me feel like this.
I have the perfect song to sing, so I walk over to the DJ to put my name on the list. There are quite a few people ahead of me, but it’ll give me time to drink more before I get up there. The song is an absolutely perfect choice to describe how I’m feeling tonight.