Chapter Sixteen #2
They were at the garage now and Earl was right there, same as always in his shirt and trousers. His hat propped just next to his painting. ‘Is that a…’ She asked.
‘Graveyard.’ Earl answered right away. ‘The Pere Lachaise in Paris, though I admit, my memory of its paths is becoming hazier now – I’m not completely happy with it. Hello to you, Luna and Mae.’
Earl turned round and smiled and Luna thought that it was so so good to be back.
‘Isn’t it a bit jolly for a graveyard?’ Mae asked. The headstones and statues were all painted bright colours – shades of purple, reds and pinks.
‘How Victorian, Mae,’ but Earl was smiling. ‘Death can be colourful, I believe.’
‘Well, let’s hope none of us test that theory too soon. This summer better be a good one because we’ve had a year. Haven’t we, Luna?’
‘It hasn’t been that bad,’ Luna answered diplomatically, when really, Mum and Dad had been arguing more than ever. From their vantage point, eavesdropping at the top of the stairs, Luna and Mae had heard the word divorce.
‘I wish they’d just get on with it,’ Mae had said. But Luna found the thought of such a big change unsettling. They hadn’t heard their parents speak of it since. So Luna tried to put it out of her mind.
‘Well, you’re here now.’ Earl was wiping his hands on a dirty tea towel. ‘Are you coming to The Edge? I took some brownies out of the oven this morning.’ Luna would never be small while Earl was around.
‘I thought you’d never ask, Earl. Lead the way,’ Mae told him, linking arms and then launching into a blow-by-blow account of her year without coming up for breath.
‘Ups and downs mostly. You know how it is.’ she said.
‘Tried to pierce my belly button, but it got infected, and I nearly died, but I did manage a soufflé that didn’t drop, so I’d say it’s a win overall. ’
Emmett and Luna brought up the rear. It might have been wishful thinking but Luna was sure that he was walking closer than he normally would.
‘Hey, the carnival is in town, do you want to go tomorrow?’ Emmett asked, oblivious to what Luna was feeling about his proximity. It was to be expected, since Luna hadn’t exactly been honest about her feelings.
‘Absolutely. Sounds fun.’ They were almost at The Edge now, the concentration camp sign greeting them hello.
Emmett paused, right below the sign. ‘Best summer ever?’ he asked, holding up his little finger.
‘Best summer ever.’
They didn’t go to the carnival once – they went every day for a week. by the final night, Luna had eaten so much candyfloss, she was at risk of turning into a ball of the pink and blue sticky stuff.
‘I feel sick,’ Mae slurred. Her pupils were big.
Part sugar, part the fact that she’d been drinking blue WKD vodka.
They were on the worst possible ride for someone to announce imminent sickness.
A sort of deadly circle thing called the Wheel of Doom, which spun around so fast and tipped upside down.
They weren’t even strapped in; that’s how fast it went.
The neon lights of the carnival were a blur, and Umbrella by Rihanna was blasting out, pulsing inside Luna’s skull.
‘Hold it in,’ Luna told her, her own stomach mounting quite the protest. Physics might not have been Luna’s forte exactly, but she guessed that puke and the gravitational pull of the Wheel of Doom would be traumatising for all involved.
Mae turned her head to the other side and said the same thing to Emmett, where he was plastered into his little booth. As they spun Luna was sure she was being taunted. Tested somehow. Emmett’s was the only face she could see.
Luna wasn’t sure if it was part of the testing, or if she was quite unwell herself, but Emmett was in slow motion, saying ‘no’ to Mae over and over.
Luna had eaten quite a lot of sugar and drunk some WKD too.
It just tasted so much like a fun drink, it made her forget it was bad for her.
It also made her forget about the fact that Emmett hadn’t said anything about last summer, on the beach.
He hadn’t picked up the conversation where they’d left off.
If anything, he was being extra friendly. Just very, very friendly.
So Luna was using blue WKD and sugar to dull her anguish at the fact. Mae had declared that Luna would make an excellent juvenile delinquent with an alcohol dependency.
Finally, the ride stopped and they stumbled off it. Emmett rubbed Mae’s back while she puked in the grass.
Zadie, who didn’t appear to be affected by anything, even blue WKD and a mountain of candyfloss, just stood to the side, smirking at her.
‘You all right, Mae?’ she asked. Mae gave her the thumbs up mid-puke. ‘Just training my liver.’ This made Zadie smile. Luna was pretty sure that out of all of them, Mae was the only person Zadie could half tolerate.
‘Carousel?’ Emmett asked, still rubbing Mae’s back.
‘Definitely,’ Luna answered even though her denim skirt was too short to elegantly get a leg over a plastic horse.
‘I’m out.’ Mae was finally upright again, though a worrying amount of bright blue sick had just poured out of her.
‘Come on, Mae, I’ll get you some water,’ Zadie said. She looked at Luna. ‘I’ll text if she gets worse.’
Ahmed was off at some family wedding so it was just Luna and Emmett now. He smiled what Luna privately thought of as his friendly smile, small and unanimated. She hated his friendship smile.
‘Ready?’
They started to walk towards the carousel, passing the fun mirrors on their way.
Luna caught sight of her distorted body, the mascara that had been dragged to the side of her eyes by the force of the spin on the Wheel of Doom, and the fact that her lips were stained blue from candyfloss.
The muscles in her shoulders were pulled out of proportion, more enormous than ever.
Usually, she’d be so embarrassed to look like this in front of Emmett. She was the exact opposite of everything that The Beauty Bible encouraged her to be. She wasn’t poised, or refined, she was a literal mess.
‘What’s so funny?’ Emmett asked. Luna had stopped to look at herself in the fun mirror. It was obscene, how bad she looked.
Emmett was next to her now, distorted but still fit. She wondered if he had any idea just how fit he was. Luna saw it, the way girls would look at him. Women, too, sometimes. But since Cadence, Emmett hadn’t shown any interest in anyone.
‘Are you drunk, Luna?’ He smiled.
‘No.’ She shook her head, still laughing.
Maybe she was a little drunk. ‘I just look so horrific…’ She was fighting for breath now, waving a hand between her and Emmett.
‘It’s crazy to think that I ever thought…
I mean I ever hoped…’ She shoved the same hand over her mouth, even though she was still giggling.
Blue WKD must be more potent than she’d realised.
But Emmett was looking at her then, not the distorted crazy version that had super short legs and big shoulders, the real version, the one that still had mascara and candyfloss lips.
Luna hoped that it wasn’t pity in his eyes. She thought that she could cope with a lot, so far as Emmett was concerned, but not pity. Never pity.
He tucked a section of her hair behind her ear.
‘You’re beautiful, Luna,’ he said.
For a second, the carnival around them went quiet, like all the air, light and noise of the place had been absorbed by Emmett’s words.
What did he mean? she thought again, her brain fully frazzled. And why does he look hurt?
She wanted to ask for clarity, something, anything. But she had no idea how to do that. How to ask for the things that you wanted. Instead, all she managed to come up with was, ‘Thank you.’ And anyway, she didn’t believe him. Not for a second. Of course, she wasn’t beautiful.
The carnival came roaring back to life, slamming into them.
‘Carousel?’ Luna asked. She could only manage short sentences now.
‘Okay.’ Emmett looked shaken up. Like they’d just been through something together, she just didn’t know what.
Luna was sure that he was looking at her lips just then.
Is this what happens with kissing? This hadn’t happened at home, when she’d been kissing Jacob Grangemoor.
He had done what any self-respecting sixteen-year-old would do and had sent his friend to ask if Luna wanted to neck him. There wasn’t this unending tension.
They didn’t talk as they gave their tokens for the ride – their last of the evening – to Barry in the ticket booth. Barry didn’t look to Luna like a man who should be in charge of heavy machinery, let alone a carousel that children could go on. He had gravy down his white vest.
When she slid onto a horse, Emmett followed her. It was a two-person horse, so there was nothing especially untoward about this, but they’d never sat like this. Luna clung to the plastic mane like her life depended on it, feeling almost fevered.
They waved at Earl. The carousel was his favourite ride; he spent so much time on it, Luna thought that he must be immune to motion sickness. One of the evenings this week, she’d seen him sharing a beer with Barry. Earl seemed to be allowed to ride without a token.
In the distance, they could see the sea. It was evening, but the sun hadn’t set yet and the sky was orange and pink. Not dissimilar colours to Earl’s graveyard painting. The view settled something in her, just for a moment. She felt calmer here, in her core.
‘I wish I lived here,’ she said. ‘It’s so gorgeous.’
She felt rather than saw Emmett nod behind her as the carousel started up a merry jingle to say that we’re about to move. She could hear Earl laughing.
‘It is,’ he answered. ‘But I can’t wait to leave.’
Luna didn’t understand why anyone would want to leave here.
They started to move, up and down and forward. The motion pushed Emmett into Luna and she felt him all along her back. An ache developed, right between her thighs.
‘I really can’t wait to leave,’ he said again with feeling, and Luna wished that he’d stop speaking directly into her ear. It was very distracting.