Epilogue
RISE ART:
Tragic news in the art community this week as Luna Roth, the artist known for her vivid anatomical drawings and advocacy of transplant support, has passed away.
Originally from Derby, Luna spent some of her childhood in Northumberland, and it’s there that she met Earl Josef Spencer.
Their fates remained entwined long after his death, since Spencer’s final piece, The Edge of Always, was a portrait of Roth.
Alongside creating her art, Luna hosted the incredibly popular blog The Art of Dying until her final weeks. We know that her Deathers will miss her dearly.
Luna’s sister, Mae Childs, told Rise Art, ‘Luna was a brilliant person. In her art, she tried to capture things exactly as they were; the details were amazing but she always knew that it was impossible. She used to say that the whole thing was a test, because even the most accurate art couldn’t capture the beauty of the real life.
I’ll miss her so fucking much, but I’m so happy that she got to spend her time here, making art in the place she loved with the people she loved. ’
Luna leaves behind her husband, Dr Emmett Roth.
Rise Art sends our condolences to all who knew her.
ONE YEAR LATER
Emmett
‘Hello, is this thing on?’
‘Yes, it’s on, idiot – just talk into the camera,’ Mae shouts at me from the kitchen.
I cough, self-conscious. Luna always said that having a community online was easier than speaking to real people, but it seems to me that talking into a camera is no easy thing at all.
I shift on the couch, extremely self-conscious.
I think of Luna, how she did this almost right up until the end, and I’m struck with admiration for my brilliant and brave wife.
‘People should see death,’ she’d told me. ‘It shouldn’t be hidden away.’ It makes me think that if she could manage that, then I can manage it now.
‘You’re doing great.’ Millie, Zade and Mae’s daughter, now almost an adult herself, is standing next to her mum, smiling and urging me on.
‘I know it’s been some time since there’s been an update on this blog.
’ I look down at the notes scribbled and resting in my lap, though I don’t much need them.
‘That’s because, well, I haven’t been able to face it, until now, you see.
And if anyone doesn’t know who I am, I’m Emmett, er, Emmett Roth.
I was Luna’s husband. I am Luna’s husband.
’ I’m still wearing my ring; they’ll have to prise it from my cold, dead hand before I take it off.
‘I wanted to come on here for a final update, and for some misguided reason I thought that a video would be easier.’ I laugh self-consciously and then sit up a little straighter.
‘Firstly, I know that you all cared about Luna. And so I wanted to tell you that she died peacefully, having had many more years than she expected to have, thanks to an organ donor. People and families who donate organs are some of the most selfless I know. To show extreme kindness during a time of loss takes a special kind of courage. I know Luna believed this, too. I wanted to thank you, Deathers, for the kindness you showed her. She was rightly proud of the community that you all built here.’
That part felt okay. But the next part is the bit I’m dreading. I glance behind me, to where The Edge of Always hangs in our living room in the cottage. And keep going.
‘I also wanted to say something about Luna. And Earl, actually, since I never even went to his funeral. I couldn’t cope with it all, you see.’ My voice breaks at one of my biggest regrets. ‘Yet they both made such an indelible mark on the world, I want to recognise that.’
‘Keep going, loser,’ Mae tells me. She and Millie are both watching me now, from the edge of the kitchen where Luna and I lived for over twenty years.
‘Luna and Earl were artists. I don’t think I truly knew what that meant until I lived alongside them.
Being an artist, I think, is not something that you do; it is something that you are.
They saw the world as a place of beauty, and they lived fearlessly.
Not always of course, but most of the time.
They were so brave. In death, too, they cared more about the way that their death would affect others; me, specifically.
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve that love, but I carry it with me every day. ’
I have to stop to cry a little. It’s not as much as in the early weeks and months, but it’s always there. A sadness that tugs at me and won’t let go.
‘I never got to tell Earl how much he meant to me. He was a parent, a friend, a great artist, and it was an honour to know him. He never stopped taking care of me, even when he was dead.’
I pause for a moment to remember Earl and everything he was.
‘And Luna, my love. I told her so many times how much I loved her. She was a brilliant person, the brightest thing in the world to me. I choose now to be grateful for what we had. Who else can say that they met their soulmate when they were five? I loved Luna then and now, and all the times in between. I’ll never not love her.
Always is made up of a million moments, and in every one of them I will love her. ’
Another pause. More sobbing that will need editing out.
‘Earl told me, and Luna showed me, that life isn’t meant to be lived on the edge.
You’re supposed to plunge into it, submerge yourself in all it has to offer, live boldly and bravely.
’ I look over at Mae and Millie, who reminds me so much of Luna.
‘Because death is the price we pay for living a life filled with love, and it is worth it. Always.’
And at the last, Luna saw a flash of colour so bright it was almost blinding – the colour of love. She flew high towards that light and embraced it.