49. PLEASURE AND PAIN AND MADNESS
We tore through the darkness, Auren naked in my arms, and me with the evidence of her pleasure still coating my lips. I landed both of us in the middle of our bedchamber and took her straight to the bed.
My emotions were running rampant within me. Saying those vows, making her mine, sealing it in blood, all of it had me in a state of pure carnal need.
The golden luminescence from my eyes reflected off the silk sheets as I stared down at my mate. My wife. I’d wanted her before, but gods, this desire was beyond anything I had yet to experience. Perhaps it was knowing she was forever mine that made it feel all the more rapturous.
Beneath my wanton need, my power kept a watchful eye, coasting just beneath the surface, waiting for the moment where my control was at its weakest. It was when my emotions were at their highest that I was most vulnerable.
The darkness knew it, and so did I. Truth be told, ever since returning from Benmoor, I’d wanted to let a sliver of it surface each time Auren and I were joined.
If only to spur the pleasure. If only to give in to my baser instincts.
Because when I allowed myself to feel the darkness, it felt like a rush of adrenaline, invigorating and enlivening. Too damn enticing at times like this.
I knew my power would never hurt Auren. In her presence, it acted as if it wanted to coexist alongside her rather than bend her to its will. Like it somehow knew she was the balance.
The fact that it even had a will of its own was something that had been rising to the top of my list of major concerns lately.
But now, with Auren blood-oathed and lying naked beneath me, my innate male desire was taking over, and I wanted her to coax that side of me out.
Hell, I’d let it loose on my own if that’s what she wanted.
Fuck. I blinked, trying to shake away my own thoughts.
Reckless. That’s what I was being by thinking like that.
My heart was starting to pound in my chest again, and Auren was looking at me like she was on the verge of begging. She moved, rising onto her elbows and drawing her knees up, baring herself to me again in the most sinful way and beckoning me with her heated stare.
There was no more holding back. It would kill me if I tried.
I unclasped my cloak and tossed it aside, but I didn’t have enough patience to do the same with the rest of my clothes. I called forth my power and it pulsed from every inch of my skin, turning all the remaining fabric to ash.
Auren grinned wickedly, then gasped as my shadows shot forward and pressed her back into the sheets.
For a moment, I froze at the edge of the bed. I hadn’t commanded the shadows to move that time.
I’d always been able to tune into their essence and sense what it was they were experiencing.
When I had sent them to Auren’s room in Drastia to do what I so longed to do with my own hands and mouth, I felt everything the shadows felt, as if I was there in the room performing the dirty deeds myself.
They were a part of me, as was my power.
But now, the connection felt stronger. Like they were growing bolder, acting for themselves—or perhaps acting on what they felt I wanted.
Curious, I remained where I was, watching.
The shadows prowled over Auren’s body, then gathered above her. A tendril reached out and caressed her cheek. It trailed down her neck, over her collarbone toward her breast, but the moment her eyes drifted closed, I called her attention.
“Eyes on me,” I commanded.
She found my gaze in an instant, and her mouth fell open as the shadow slid down to the apex of her thighs and swirled against her sex.
Her eyes widened and her body arched off the bed the moment the shadow entered her, but she held my stare.
I let out a shaky breath at the sight, struggling between wanting to watch her come undone at the shadow’s hand, and needing to be inside her myself.
Through the shadow’s essence, I felt Auren—warm, and wet, and aching for more.
The scent of her arousal was overpowering.
I drank it in, fisting myself, as the sound of her sweet moans filled the room.
I slowly climbed onto the bed, watching as she ground her hips into the shadow’s touch, watching as her gaze drifted down to where I stroked myself.
Fates, I didn’t think I’d ever been this hard before. It was pleasure and pain and madness, and I fucking loved it.
When her legs began to quiver, I moved forward, bracing my knees against her ankles, spreading her further apart, allowing the shadow to sink deeper. She moaned louder, catching my gaze once more. There was desperation in her eyes.
That’s it, fall apart for me, I whispered into her mind. It wasn’t long after the words left my mouth that she was doing just as I instructed. “Good girl,” I said softly, a strange, dark undertone lacing my voice.
The shadow slowed, withdrew, then drifted over Auren’s skin as if it too were soaking in her pleasure.
It didn’t return to me like it usually did, but I didn’t care.
I took my crown in hand and tossed it to the floor, then I grabbed hold of Auren’s thighs and pulled her to me. “I’m not done with you yet, love.”
Her head fell back against the sheets as I slid inside her, and the sound she released was pure ecstasy. One hand bracing myself on the bed, the other on her hip, I guided her where I wanted for each thrust, relishing how wet she was, watching every expression she made as I moved in and out of her.
Her brows pinched with pleasure.
“Gods, you feel so good.” I gripped her flesh as I dragged myself out again, torturously slow, and lingered at her entrance, the thick head of my cock dipping in and out, driving her wild.
After a few seconds of my teasing, she reached for my waist and hauled me back into her.
The slap of my body against hers punctuated the grunt I let out.
A pulse of light radiated from her chest, illuminating the room for a brief moment, and my name echoed through the space along with it.
I wanted to take my time, but I couldn’t.
The heat and the want and my name on her lips made me forget everything else.
She was made for me. She took me so well, spreading her legs and grinding against every sling of my hips. But it wasn’t nearly enough. I needed to be closer to her, deeper inside her.
I rolled, taking her with me until she was on top, then I sat up, pulling her chest to mine. Our lips met, and I drank her in, tasting her tongue, drowning in our shared breaths and desperate kisses.
She swirled her hips again and again, breaking away from our kiss to claim air, and as her eyes met mine, I heard the words, “Take me, Asher. I’m yours.”
The darkness flickered under my skin. Then, it surged.
The golden glow of my eyes flared so bright, the light reflected off Auren’s face. Darkness flooded my veins, and the shadows that stood watch moved, setting into a throbbing dance around us as if following some otherworldly cadence we couldn’t hear.
A rush of adrenaline coursed through me, and my body became aflame with a strange force of energy.
I captured Auren’s mouth again, and gripped the back of her hair as I thrust up into her, earning more of her sweet moans and swallowing them whole, like each one was a sacrifice. My shadows touched her as they darted by, pressing her against me, moving her body in time with mine.
Her head fell back, leaving her peaked breasts in my full view. I took one into my mouth and watched as her eyes fluttered closed. Her crown finally slid from her hair and rolled across the bed, but she paid it no mind.
Her hands held onto me and she unleashed herself. Skin slickened with sweat, she rode me until ecstasy unfurled through her body, and even then, she kept moving, sinking down onto me until I was so deep inside her that the tether on my restraint failed completely.
I buried my face into her neck and roared as release barreled through me—more powerful than any other time I’d ever been with her.
Fucking. Fates.
I couldn’t stop.
The room spun. Spots winked in and out of my vision. Chills broke out across my body. I’d expended so much of myself inside her, that, just as promised, she was dripping where we were joined.
Our essences intertwined in my mind’s eye, the sensation adding another layer of pleasure to everything I physically felt. The darkness swirled, wrapping Auren’s light in a cocoon of shadows, like it wanted to keep her brilliance for itself and protect it, safeguard it from the rest of the world.
The shadows slowed their dance and gathered around me, encasing my shoulders like a cloak before disappearing back into my skin.
Auren wrapped her arms around my neck, and I took her with me as I sank back onto the bed. Firelight flickered on the black walls and ceiling, glittering like the stars that were strung high above the mountain we lay beneath.
The thrumming of our mating bond now saturated me from within.
It was stronger than before, more vibrant, like an entirely new source of energy had settled in its place.
That was the oath, written in stone, and sealed in blood.
Mating vows were sacred, binding, eternal, made infinitely stronger with an intimate act.
Auren and I were one. Darkness and light had been bound together. And though it sounded impossible, it had never felt more right.
Still sheathed inside her, I caught my breath, and held her tight.
I wished at that moment she could feel how badly I wanted to just stay like this forever, wrapped up with her in the depths of the mountain, as if there wasn’t a looming war on the horizon.
As if the only responsibility we had was to pleasure one other and spend the interim moments lost in a world of our own.
Duty would come calling eventually, as it always did, so I savored every second, every breath she took, every heartbeat that bled into mine.
And when she finally sat up and met my gaze, a pang rocketed through my chest. She’d never looked more beautiful than she did right then, eyes glazed, hair a mess, forehead damp, lips reddened and raw—pulled into the most stunning smile.
My breath caught. “I’m going to love you until my lungs give out. That is a promise.”
She leaned forward to plant a kiss on my lips, but I caught her cheeks in my hands and held her there, slipping my tongue into her mouth. I kissed her like we had all the time in the world. Like the darkness in me wasn’t a ticking time bomb that I’d just somehow temporarily satiated.
I meant every word. I would love her until my lungs gave out. Whether my lifespan was a short or long one, I’d spend every second of it loving her to my fullest ability. Not even the darkness could stand in my way.
“And I will love you,” she said onto my lips. “Forever.”
Her words lingered longer than they should have, the aching reality in them hanging heavily between us. In the end, she would live forever. I would not. Yes, we fae could live for thousands of years, but what was a few thousand compared to an eternity?
I stared back at her and mapped her features like I always did, threading my fingers through her hair.
“Until the end of time,” I said, echoing our vows, knowing just how differently time would move for the both of us.