Chapter 16
Allen
I paced the length of the dimly lit bedroom, my bare feet sinking slightly into the cold hardwood floor. The silence was thick, broken only by Natasha’s soft, rhythmic sobs from the bed. My thoughts were a storm of regret and resolve, each crashing into the other, leaving me raw and restless.
The room still carried the scent of sex, sweat, and now—something far heavier. Guilt. A kind that didn’t fade with time, only grew teeth.
Corinne’s face kept flashing before my eyes. That look—shattered, wide-eyed, as if her entire world had just been ripped in half. She hadn’t screamed. She hadn’t spoken. Just turned and walked out like someone who had been gutted.
I stopped pacing, resting my hand against the dresser for support.
“Allen…” Natasha’s voice broke through the silence, rough and unsure. “What now?”
I turned slowly. She was curled up beneath the sheets, her eyes swollen from crying, her fingers gripping the fabric like it could shield her from what we’d done.
I swallowed hard. “I’m going through with the divorce.”
She nodded once, slowly. “And… us?”
“I want to be with you,” I said, and the words felt strange leaving my mouth. “I think I’ve known that for a while. But I kept holding onto something that wasn’t working… because of the kids. Because I was afraid.”
Natasha looked down, quiet. “This isn’t how she should’ve found out.”
“No,” I agreed softly. “She deserved better than this.”
We sat in the silence for a moment before she asked, “And Kyle? Astrid? What happens to them?”
I hesitated. My chest tightened. “I’m going to file for full custody.”
Natasha’s eyes snapped up to mine, widening. “Full custody?”
“They’re my kids,” I said, the words heavy, weighted. “And I love them more than anything. But Corinne… she’s not in a place where she can give them what they need.”
Natasha didn’t speak right away. Her fingers picked at the hem of the sheet. “You really think that’s what’s best?”
“She’s spiraled, Natasha. The paranoia, the mood swings, she can't even touch Astrid without breaking down over nothing…” I trailed off, my voice tightening. “They’ll start to notice especially Kyle,he is getting older. And they’ll get scared. I can’t let them grow up walking on eggshells.”
“She’s still their mother,” she whispered.
“I know,” I said, softer now. “And that’s why this isn’t easy for me. I’m not trying to punish her. I’m just… trying to protect them.”
Natasha looked down, and for a long while, she said nothing. Then finally, “Do you think she’ll fight you?”
“Absolutely,” I said without hesitation. “She’ll fight like hell. And honestly? She should. She loves them. I would never take that from her. But love isn’t enough if she can’t keep them safe—emotionally, mentally. I have a case. A strong one.”
Natasha pulled her knees closer to her chest. “And if the court sides with her?”
I ran a hand down my face. “Then I’ll keep trying. I’ll get help, I’ll build a better case. I’ll never stop fighting for them.”
She looked up at me. “Are you doing this because you’re angry? Or because you really believe it’s what’s right?”
“That’s the thing,” I said slowly, feeling the weight of it press on my chest. “It’s both. I’m angry at her. For how long she ignored her own spiral. For how she refused help, no matter how many times I begged. But mostly… I’m scared. I don’t want to wait for the next breakdown. I don’t want to keep hoping things will get better while the kids suffer.”
Natasha finally nodded, almost imperceptibly. “Then I’ll stand by you. Whatever happens.”
I moved toward the bed, sitting on the edge. She reached for my hand and held it, her touch unsure, like we were both walking through the aftermath with no map.
“I still feel sick about what she saw,” I admitted, my voice barely audible. “She didn’t deserve this kind of betrayal.”
“She didn’t,” Natasha agreed. “None of us were blameless, Allen. We just… broke under the weight of everything.”
I turned my gaze toward the ceiling, biting the inside of my cheek. “I’ll talk to her. Not just about the divorce. About the kids. When she’s ready.”
“And if she doesn’t forgive you?”
“I wouldn’t expect her to,” I murmured. “But I still have to do what’s right now. For them.”
Natasha shifted beside me, leaning into my side. “And for you?”
I looked down at her. “I don’t know if there’s a ‘right’ for me anymore. I just know I can’t keep pretending this is something it’s not. The marriage… it was over long before tonight.”
She leaned her head against my shoulder. “Then we move forward. Carefully.”
I wrapped my arm around her, but my eyes stayed fixed on the shadows cast across the wall by the dim bedside lamp.
“I just hope someday, they’ll understand,” I whispered. “That I didn’t give up on their mother… I just couldn’t watch her fall apart while dragging them with her.”
Natasha didn’t respond, and for once, the silence didn’t feel suffocating. Just... real.