Chapter 3
CASSIUS
I’m so fucking hungry.
Shoving more food in my mouth, I tried to ignore the ache in my stomach that had it twisting into knots.
But, no matter the amount that I ate, it didn’t take away the emptiness that kept me hollow and empty.
She hated me—I knew she did. The day that Eris, Naaz, and I met with her to feed, I could see it in her eyes.
Eyes that once glistened with innocence and desire were empty… cold.
That was, until she looked up at Kaiden. The man, who had treated her no better than the dirt under his shoe, held a piece of her that none of us seemed worthy of. It angered me in a way that I couldn’t even begin to describe. But I wasn’t angry at her or Kaiden.
No, I was angry at myself.
If only I had told her…
Harley had encouraged me to. The more time he spent with her, the more he felt she deserved to know.
Fuck… Harley. Her father. If he had known back then, he would have forced me to tell her.
Though, it would have been immediately followed by an ass-kicking for what transpired between me and Morrigan after the damned arrow pierced my ribs.
Actually, he probably would have killed me instead.
I shoved my plate of food away, staring at the small mountain of bones that sat atop the porcelain. “Myren!” I called out. His feet scurried across the floor, stopping beside my seat. “Is there any update?”
“N-No, My Lord.” He bowed his head and slowly retrieved the plate from the table. “I have asked each of the staff. No one has seen her in weeks.”
I wanted Shae. None of the younger staff understood me in the way that she did.
She was honest and intrusive, and it was exactly what I needed right now.
But she was also close to Morrigan. She had taken her under her wing in a motherly way that Morrigan had needed more than anything else.
I needed that piece of Morrigan, a memory to cling to.
Unfortunately for me, and everyone forced to be in my vicinity, Shae decided that now would be the time for the only vacation she’s ever taken since working in this castle.
“Someone has to have seen her,” I insisted, gripping my chalice—that I had ordered to be filled to the brim with wine at all times—so hard that my knuckles were screaming at me. “She wouldn’t just disappear like that.”
With a heavy, deflated sigh, Myren bowed again. “I will continue asking, My Lord.”
I watched him as he left. When Morrigan first stayed here, she gave the air such a drastic lift that it affected everyone that walked these halls.
The staff worked harder, and they seemed happier, too.
I had never even considered that changing what I thought was such a simple title, could cause such a drastic shift in morale.
But the moment that news of her disappearance made its way through the villages, it became a hidden plague that seemed to affect hundreds.
How could we protect them if we couldn’t protect her?
I heard the doors to the dining hall open and turned to see one of my guards entering with a paper in one of his hands.
“My Lord,” he greeted, bowing before approaching and holding out his hand. “This is a message from Lord Kaiden. He has requested your presence tonight.”
I sighed. Seeing as I had already eaten through half of my kitchen, I didn’t exactly have the desire to meet with anyone for the remainder of my night.
We agreed to meet in the morning, and then we would decide who would be entering the tunnels.
I had no desire to. I knew she wouldn’t want me to be the first thing she saw after… after what Cain might have…
I’m going to kill him.
My hands shook slightly as I opened the letter, blocking out the images my mind wanted to conjure of what he might have done to her… what he might still be doing to her. But my heart skipped a beat as I read what was on the parchment.
“Plans have changed. We leave tonight.”
What could have possibly changed for us to need to leave early?
I knew that the seer had told Kaiden she couldn’t take us until tomorrow.
Which meant something had to have happened.
My mind quickly shifted to Dez, thinking of how he had spoken of Morrigan since she disappeared—the preposterous idea that he could feel her in a way the rest of us couldn’t.
It’s not that I didn’t believe him, it’s just that… well… I didn’t want to.
The moment he spoke of waking to the feeling of cuts along his skin, I had to convince myself it was only nightmares.
I couldn’t spiral into the possibility that she was enduring that much pain.
Dez had turned into a complete wreck. And if he could barely handle the phantom pains of what Morrigan might be experiencing, how would a mortal survive something like that?
But Dez… He would wake up screaming. He couldn’t eat. Couldn’t feed.
If everything he experienced was true…
Kaiden is right. Fuck what the seer said, and fuck Cain.
Morrigan is coming home tonight.
When I arrived at the castle, Dez sat on the steps in the courtyard.
His head lay in his hands as his fingers gripped at his hair, tugging and yanking against his scalp.
“Dez!” I called out, rushing to his side instinctively as I dropped down and tried removing his grip. “You’re going to pull your hair out!”
He shoved me away, recoiling from my touch in a way that stung my heart. My best friend… And he hated me, too. “I can’t… I can’t feel her,” he panted.
One by one, I heard the other guys shadowing in with their walkers. It caused a faint stir in the wind, the shadows whipping around us. “Just take a breath, Dez. Everyone’s here. We are going to—”
Without warning, he fisted the collar of my shirt and lifted me to stand.
I didn’t fight him—I didn’t want to fight him.
“What don’t you fucking understand?!” he screamed.
His blue eyes had begun to glow, and it took only seconds for me to feel it—the push of his magic.
My own grief deepened to such despair… It made me physically sick. “I CAN’T FEEL HER!”
“Dez!” Naaz yelled behind me. “Stop this! You’re acting mad!”
“I can’t feel her!” he yelled again, and his voice cracked, the anger melting into an agonizing sadness that left a bitter taste on my tongue.
His anguish became my own, and it drained every ounce of strength that I had.
Slowly, my head began to reel, and I grasped his wrists, trying to pull him off of me. “I can’t feel her, Cass!”
“Dez,” I whispered with a slight slur of my words, like my body wanted to shut itself down to block out the invasive torment attacking my mind. “Dez, you have to—”
“Put. Him. Down.”
Both of our heads turned to Kaiden, who now stood in the center of the courtyard. One of his hands gripped the sleeve of a gown worn by a woman almost three times Morrigan’s age. She trembled beside him, and judging by the power that emanated from her, I knew she had to be the seer.
With Dez distracted, I shoved him off of me and placed a good amount of distance between us. Something I never dreamt I would ever have to do.
“How did you get her out of the palace so quickly?” I asked him, shaking my head and waiting for the remnants of Dez’s power to leave my mind.
“I took her,” he answered with an unbothered shrug. Then, without an ounce of compassion, he threw the seer to the ground in front of us.
Kaiden’s rage had returned tenfold. After Morrigan disappeared, he truly had nothing left to keep him grounded anymore. I feared what might happen if we didn’t find her soon.
“These holy soldiers have gotten too comfortable in their palaces. I think they’ve forgotten who they truly answer to. And this one…” Kaiden continued as the seer scrambled to her feet.
She smoothed her dress as she eyed each of us with a look that wasn’t quite… fear. Instead, she had the glint in her eyes of someone who knew something that we didn’t.
“She’s going to take us to our princess, isn’t she?”
The old woman nodded. “Y-Yes. I will take you to the tunnels now.”
“Kaiden.” Eris stepped up to him, offering a hand to the woman. “You can’t throw people around like that. She hasn’t done anything to warrant—”
“I’ll give her my apologies when Morrigan is standing before me. But, until then,” he wrapped a hand around her arm, tugging the seer to his side, “she follows my orders.”
Anger. That’s all I saw in Kaiden’s eyes. So much anger.
I turned to Dez and saw the same look in his.
The ocean that once swayed so gently now brewed with a deadly storm.
He couldn’t go. If Dez went down there… If he saw anything that may have happened to her…
I didn’t think he had the restraint to hold himself back.
He would need to stay behind. And I was going to have to be the one to say it.
“I’ll stay here with Dez while you all go,” I insisted.
Dez’s glare shot to me, and his eyes flickered with threatening light. “I will not—”
“I’ll go with Kaiden,” Eris offered, interrupting Dez.
Naaz stepped beside Eris. “As will I.”
“No!” Dez yelled. “No! I am going!”
Completely ignoring Dez’s pleas, D moved into our space and placed a hand on Dez’s shoulder. “I’ll stay behind with Cass to help with—”
In an almost blur, Dez swiped the dagger that clung to D’s waist and moved to yank it free. But before it could even be removed from its sheath, D’s eyes began to glow, and Dez’s arm froze. Bright blue light radiated around us—even the birds above had slowed to a stop with time halting at D’s will.
“You guys need to leave now,” D instructed the three of them. “Once you’ve shadowed away, Cass and I will escort him to his room.”
“I’ll have Lyra give him a sleeping draught. It should last just long enough for them to return,” I said, placing a hand on Dez’s other side.
I knew he could hear everything we were saying. D’s power only worked to an extent. It may slow down time, but everyone trapped within that void was still aware of their surroundings. And it only worked within a certain radius.
Eris and Naaz both grasped Kaiden’s shoulders.
“We’ll be as fast as we can. Make sure he stays put,” Kaiden demanded, just before his shadows consumed them, and they disappeared into darkness.
DORMIUS
When the shadows dispersed, Cass and I were able to drag Dez back to the room before my power depleted itself.
Cass ran to grab Lyra and returned just in time with a small vial.
I quickly tipped it against Dez’s lips and could feel his resistance, but he wasn’t strong enough to fight it right now.
The moment I felt his resolve slip away, I released my grip and felt as time sped back up.
Dez’s body fell limp against the mattress, and I slid the sheets over him before sinking into a chair nearby.
“Gods, I forgot how crazy that is,” Cass laughed, though he looked exhausted. “I haven’t seen you do that since—”
“The war,” I quickly inserted. “Yeah… I don’t like using it. It takes a lot out of me.”
I could see Cass lean back in the settee near the fireplace. “I’m sure you’re grateful that you didn’t bond with Morrigan, then.” This time his laughter had a sour twist to it. He turned his head away and faced the flames.
I couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that each of them had made the decision to go against what we all had agreed upon. But, the guilt they felt was visible to anyone with eyes. And yet… not a single one of them would admit to it if asked.
“What exactly is it that you think will happen when she returns?” I asked him, standing to join him on the opposite side.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s bonded to what… four of us? I can’t even begin to imagine what that must be like in her shoes.
A bond like the kind the gods created for us...
It runs deep. I saw how she was with you.
With Dez. I can imagine that, if Cain hadn’t taken her, the same would eventually happen with Eris and Naaz as well. ”
“What are you trying to say?” Cass faced me, narrowing his eyes.
“What I’m saying is… I don’t know if any of you truly thought this through. I’m sure you’d be fine with watching Morrigan with Dez. You both share something that the rest of us really don’t. But are you going to be okay with even more pieces of her heart being given to Eris… Naaz… Kaiden?”
His eyes trailed down in thought for a moment.
“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” he confessed, sinking back into the cushions.
“I mean, even before the bond… Gods… I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. But after the bond? It filled something that I didn’t know was missing.
I mean, you get it right? She’s got this magnetic aura that just draws you in and wraps its fiery claws around you until she’s all you can think about. ”
“Yeah, she’s…” I cleared my throat and let my eyes drift toward the flames beside us. “She’s beautiful.”
“If, and only if, Morrigan decides to let me back in, I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give me. I fucked up. I really fucked up. She trusted me. And if sharing her with my brothers is my only penance? Well… that doesn’t sound like such a bad life, now does it?”
I smiled at that. Whether or not my bonds with everyone ran as deep as the ones they had grown, I did always consider them my brothers. Seven orphans… all chosen by the gods to rule over the world they had built. They may have been fucking idiots, but I wouldn’t trade them for anyone else.
I felt a hard slap on my shoulder that almost knocked the wind out of me.
“I love you, man,” Cass said, laying his head back against the settee and closing his eyes. “Everything is going to be alright. You’ll see.”