Chapter Twelve
AVA-MARIE
I was stuck on that beach long after my friends had left me. My heart had been broken all over again, but this time, the pain was fresh, because it was accompanied by the wish of a dream.
Some part of me still lived inside of Charlie.
He hadn’t gotten rid of all of me— just most. He wouldn’t have been able to put that hole in my shield if a small spark of me didn’t live within him.
It whispered to me there was a possibility of working things out.
The spark indicated the breath of an asinine wish that he still loved me, so we could find a way through this.
I reminded myself of the divorce papers waiting in the drawer, and turned away from the water. I had to stop torturing myself with what ifs. Charlie and I were done. He was my ex-husband now, and I—
The thought of that sudden, wretched word nearly caused me to retch. Ex… husband.
I hated it. Detested every syllable, wanted nothing more than to rip it out of my head and scrub my brain of the contents.
I’d come to terms with the divorce, but I’d been thinking of it in a big-picture kind of way, instead of considering all the little details that went along with a loss this significant.
I still thought of him as my spouse. Obviously.
I needed to let Charlie go. If not for me, then for him.
It would be wrong for me to keep jerking his feelings around, and we both needed a clean break.
We couldn’t grieve the end of this marriage if both of us were still trying to keep it alive.
We kept insisting on putting our relationship on life support when it had died a long time ago and there was no bringing it back.
It would all be over with after today. Once Charlie got the last key and opened the Elven Gate, this war would be won. We’d ask the gods to kill the Warden, then, once he was in the ground, I could run away. I’d never have to see Charlie or anything that reminded me of him ever again.
Not Ilamanthe.
Not my friends.
Not even my family.
Not … Oberi. Though I’d rather sink into the sea, I had to leave him behind, too.
I’d come up with the idea to leave after Charlie and I had slept together.
If I stuck around, I’d just keep running back to him.
I’d keep falling into his bed, wanting one more conversation, one more kiss, one more night of him inside of me.
It would never end. He wasn’t strong enough to end us for good, so if I let this go on, it would continue forever. I’d never get away, and I wasn’t sure how I could look at myself in the mirror once I’d admitted to myself I’d allowed Charlie to break me.
Leaving was the only choice. It was what I was planning and what I’d chosen.
This war would be done, then I’d start over.
And although my existence without my friends and my love would be excruciating, becoming a hermit would be a better fate than longing to be with a man I could never have.
I wouldn’t return to the arms of a husband who’d hurt me in such a deep way.
My self-respect meant more than that. Once the war was handled, it was time to disappear.
I hoped no one would come looking for me once I was gone. I wasn’t magical anymore, so I didn’t belong in the supernatural world. I had to leave it behind in search of a new life. There was nothing more for me here.
I worried about my friends, knowing they were across the globe and I had no way to help them. Would they be able to handle getting the last key and opening the Elven Gate without me?
Probably not, a voice inside said, though I don’t know where it came from. It wasn’t like I could cast magic anymore, as my latest failed attempt had proven. If I couldn’t use my powers to help, because they no longer existed, I’d just get in the way. It was best if I stayed behind.
I returned to the road near the beach, where Eldin was waiting with a military van. She’d followed my orders to be here at the right time without question. She drove me back to the palace and helped me sneak into the back of the theater undetected.
I’d gotten here just in time. The cast was flocking to the stage to take the final bow. I hurried to get in line with them, grabbing Ez’s hand.
“Did you get it?” Ez whispered.
“Everything’s set. It’s up to them now.” My back gave another jarring spasm, and I forced a smile on my face as the curtain was pulled back.
We gave our final farewell, the cast raising our joined hands before dipping into a bow.
The audience gave a standing ovation. Cameron was jumping up and down.
“What a performance!” he cried. “Encore, encore!”
He didn’t even notice his son was missing from the cast. That’s what we needed, but it still grieved me to witness. Poor Charlie. He had no one and nobody. And I was choosing to leave him, too.
I rolled off stage once the curtain was closed, but though the auditorium was full of chatter, I didn’t think this play was enough. I needed to cause another distraction. I didn’t know how long Charlie and the others would be gone, and the more time I bought them, the better.
I moved toward the curtains and pulled a match out of my pocket, striking it against the tinder box. I wasn’t Koigni anymore, but I could still start fires. Once the fire was ignited, I casually moved away, hurrying out of the theater as smoke began to fill the area.
“Fire! It’s a fire!” Ez shouted, catching on. The cast rushed out the back, and people in the auditorium began screaming as the curtains quickly caught ablaze.
That should buy us some time. The guards would put the fire out, but they needed to deal with the damage caused by the flames and smoke afterward. Hopefully talk of the play and what had gone on at the end of it would lure attention away from where Charlie and my friends might be.
Eldin followed me back to the green room, but when I headed for the exit, someone blocked my escape. The head of the monarchy’s daily operations, Elrye, stood at the door, arms crossed and tapping her foot. She was surrounded by a group of servants, none of whom looked amused.
Elrye ran things around the palace. She’d spent a great deal of time last year helping me. I think she’d developed a particular fondness for me. She was hard to read, though, so I couldn’t be certain. The death glare she was giving me could’ve made my knees shake if I still had feeling in them.
I cringed as I rolled toward her. I was the princess, so it wasn’t like I had to explain myself, but I still felt guilty.
Elrye scowled. “I take it this play wasn't meant to just entertain.”
“No. Sorry,” I apologized.
“And the prince is nowhere to be found within our halls, so I’m assuming he took your companions and wandered off somewhere.”
“I mean… maybe?” I played dumb, raising my hands. “He could be here, or he couldn’t be. We’re getting divorced, so I don’t know.”
Elrye sighed. “If you are helping the prince after what has happened between the two of you, it must be a time of dire need. I trust you, princess.”
“So… you’re not going to tell the Emperor?” I turned on my girlish charm, batting my eyelashes.
Elrye narrowed her eyes. “No. Situations with the Emperor have to be handled… very delicately. And please do not try that act on me, princess. You look as innocent as a venomous cobra.”
I scowled. “Okay, fine. Just don’t tell Charlie’s dad, okay?”
“For now.” Elrye frowned. “I hope you and the prince know what you’re doing. Please don’t prove to the Elvish people that putting our faith in you was a poor choice for the second time.”
She reached out for something that another servant was carrying; a box wrapped in various shades of glittering paper with a bright pink bow… my favorite color.
Elrye hesitated— something I’d never seen her do. “We’ve been organizing Professor Hemlock’s things since her untimely passing. We found a gift addressed to you. We determined it was a birthday surprise. We apologize we didn't locate it until now.”
A bitter cold crept through my skin. I reached out to take the box, setting it onto my lap. The tag was in Hemlock’s handwriting.
Elrye bowed. “I am sorry for your loss.” Then she turned on her heel, taking the rest of the servants with her.
I stared at the box before I fell back against my seat, relieved. I glanced at Eldin. “I’m shocked they didn’t go running to Cameron.”
“No one trusts him anymore, princess.” Eldin replied.
“Anyone who brings bad news to him is severely punished, and if the prince was reported missing from the palace, I’m certain Cameron would execute whoever delivered the information to him on the spot.
He threatened to hang three messengers who delivered poor reports of our battalions in Dolinska just this morning. ”
That was a way to inspire loyalty in your staff.
I got this was a mob, but there was a time to wield fear and a time to play it smart.
Cameron wouldn’t get anywhere by threatening the people who worked for him.
He thought ruling with an iron fist inspired loyalty when it did the exact opposite.
No one would go to him with anything, no matter how dire, if they were too afraid to speak up.
Thank the ancestors the guards hadn’t checked the vault and found the keys missing. There’s no way Elrye would’ve let that slide. She’d have dragged me to Cameron to be interrogated.
I was fine with that. Cameron could do his worst, but I’d be the one interrogating him before it was all over with, and he’d be sobbing at my feet by the time I was satisfied. Rage ignited inside my breast when I recalled the bruise on Charlie’s face.
I didn’t care that he wasn't my husband anymore. I wasn’t letting that go. Cameron had crossed one too many lines when it came to Charlie. He thought he could whack his son around as he pleased and experience no consequences.